From "Is Today’s Self-Help Teaching Everyone to Be a Jerk? Draw boundaries. Protect your peace. Worry less about pleasing others. The prevailing (and best-selling) wisdom of the day encourages an inward turn" (NYT).
And by "to Be a Jerk," the NYT might mean to be right wing (where "right wing" means an individual centered in one's own life and trusting that other people can be self-centered too):
Today, the tone of some self-help books often crops up on right-leaning podcasts, in which hosts put an obsessive focus on self-improvement, turning inward by fixating on the foods we eat and the way we sleep....
I asked Dr. Clayton, the author of “Fawning,” if her anti-people pleasing, “do less” message might have bigger social or political ramifications. “I think anything can be taken to extremes — it’s certainly not in the spirit of my work,” she said, though she quickly added: “Who am I to say that someone ‘protecting their peace’ in that way, needing to disengage — there might be some truth to that. They might need to disengage in order to grow their capacity and they can step back in when they have more agency.["]...
संदेश
10 टिप्पणियां:
Thurber "Let Your Mind Alone!" takes down every genre of self-help book.
These "right-wing" books are a version of the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
And the Serenity Prayer is an expression of Stoicism.
The Apparent Travails of Others would be a great book title. Subtitle: How money given to Dems makes the travails worse
'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck'
Yes, the book that former Democrat Representative Katie Porter was photographed quite unsubtly brandishing during some Congressional debate? Being a d*ck and not giving a f*ck is the way that powerful adults behave in the big city when they have "agency." It's unlikely that people who are already playing the high-stakes, high-stress games are going to turn to self-help books. They already know how the games are played.
The idea that progressive or liberal eras and venues are characterized by generalized niceness isn't true. Politicized people need enemies. They aren't that friendly to outsiders, and even insiders can have terrible, violent spats -- as has happened on occasion inside the NYT staff.
Men and women reset, not as a sex in bloc therapeutics, but as individuals of conscience.
I do remember the Esquire photograph of her belly button which confused me at the time.
At work on my phone so I won’t be able to link some relevant videos but later I will get to it. In male-female relationships women are constantly trying to get attention from the male.
The worst thing the man can do is give her all of the attention she wants. This dates back to before domestication and agriculture when women selected mates based on their long term ability to provide for her and their offspring.
If a male is always available and does not set boundaries on his time and attention the female will deem him to be unable to provide as well as a man who tells her no. Hence the nice guys finish last thing which is clearly true.
Men are the givers in society and women are the takers. That means that men who are judicious in their giving will be more successful in the long run and women are attenuated to detect this.
So not giving a fuck while mistermed has legitimate biological roots.
The Serenity Prayer has been invoked above, and I would add the Red Green Man's Prayer: "I'm a man, bur I can change if I have to, I guess."
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