"... in a way that could be considered romantic. The Sanskrit word for monk, brahmacharyi, means 'the right use of energy.' It’s not that romance and sexual energy are wrong. But my practice teaches that we all have a limited amount of energy, which can be directed in multiple directions or one. When energy is scattered, it’s difficult to create momentum or impact. As monks, we were trained to direct our energy toward understanding our psyches, how we see the world and interact with it.... During college in London, I had devoted so much time to a long-distance girlfriend that I missed most of my classes. Celibacy allowed me to use that time and space to understand myself and develop the ability to still my mind.... When I left the ashram for good, I hadn’t watched TV, seen a movie, or listened to music in three years.... Being a monk may have closed me off to certain things... but... I learned to see the essence of a monk in everyone I met.... I saw that essence in Radhi the moment we met...."
Writes Jay Shetty, in "Date Like a Monk/'We’re not here to impress each other. We’re here to connect'" (NYT).
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I enjoyed reading that. Thank you.
Our energy is limited.
"Like a monk" is going to this years cliche?
I'm glad that he learned something, buy how do you get around the stupidity of the title?
To date like a monk is not to date at all.
Jay Shetty has become huge in the self-help world -- and also quite rich -- with his "learn about life from a former monk" schtick. So it's kind of surprising (although I guess it shouldn't be) to find out that he only lived as a monk for three years.
The real lessons from this column are that you shouldn't take a vegetarian to a restaurant without veggie options (duh!), and also that you shouldn't take your date to see "Wicked" -- it's super-long, and the second act seems interminable. But I could have told you that.
"During college in London, I had devoted so much time to a long-distance girlfriend that I missed most of my classes."
Yeah, right. You sleep 8 hours a day, and talk to your long-distance girlfriend on the phone for 16 hours, and there really just isn't any time left for classes.
Could this be why marital faithfulness works out so much better than fooling around. Focus…focus…focus. The gay community famously fools around and suffers from jealousy violence.
"Jay Shetty has become huge in the self-help world -- and also quite rich..."
Oh, well, then, screw him.
"Oh, well, then, screw him."
OK, wow -- that wasn't my point at all. It was that all this wisdom he supposedly absorbed from living as a monk actually came from a tiny period in his life.
"I learned to see the essence of a monk in everyone I met.... I saw that essence in Radhi the moment we met."
"Women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence.”
I thought that this would be a far more prurient and informative article than it turned out to be. I was hoping that the Vatican was rethinking its position on celibacy. Maybe a certain amount of wanking would be allowed at Vatican approved porn sites. Some lesbo action but no Russian rape porn. Maybe some pedo action as a kind of honey trap for those monks they would like to weed out.... Sadly it turned out to be an account of ex Hindu monk and his chaste date. Do women have a thing for ex-monks they way they do for firemen and cops? Might be a way to work around the bald spot. The Hindu thing might work if you dropped talk about the tantric techniques you had to master to achieve full (heh, heh) enlightenment.
Jay Shetty has grievously confused monastic celibacy with eremitic solitude, abundantly explained by a "tiny period in his life"... measured in minutes one assumes.
It ought to be needless to point out that the Roman Catholic clergy have been universally celibate since the 12th century, yet their "interacting with other people" is their vital function. Of late "interacting with other people" too intimately has been the laity's main complaint against them.
And not all Christain monks are celibate. Those Medieval papal decrees enforcing celibacy were provoked by persistent Irish monastic traditions. The Culdees were often accompanied by wives, yet they lived ascetic religious lives in most other respects.
LOL, David53
Puffed up rhetoric meets rusty nail.
"Jay Shetty has become huge in the self-help world -- and also quite rich..."
"Oh, well, then, screw him."
No, that isn't the point. Taking on the guise of having expertise in consciousness or compassion because he was a monk for three whole years is like someone being a junior in college dropping out and then claiming to be an expert in higher education. Maybe for people who are illiterate that person's expertise is very impressive, but not for anyone who has completed college and advanced degrees or in Shetty's case, has done meditation for decades. Jay Shetty is a media darling and a pretty face and is massively capitalizing on his status of having been a monk. He's extremely egotistical, and that doesn't come from being a monk.
I call BS. Even John Gray, writer of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, didn't claim or capitalize on his status of having been a monk and personal secretary to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for ten years! He never mentioned it, the only people who knew it were TM meditators, teachers, etc. Whatever he learned in that capacity was the basis of what he then developed and offered to the world. If he became a success it was because of the insights he developed, not because he was MMY's personal secretary.
Shetty is an expert on consciousness and relationships because he was briefly a monk and his one relationship? I don't think so.
"Monks are famously celibate, but celibacy doesn’t just mean you’re not having sex. It means you’re not interacting with other people..."
Thus the famous incels are on the right path. Mom's basement is the pathway to nirvana. I personally, was celibate until the evening of my collegiate matriculation. I became more philosophical thereafter, not less so. So, there it is.
. But my practice teaches that we all have a limited amount of energy, which can be directed in multiple directions or one
That's the principle College football coaches force on their players?
But my dad said it wasn't some time with a girl that was the problem. It was spending all night looking for the girl.
No it doesn't.
"Like a monk"...
Great. Now I have a modified version of Madonna's "Like a Virgin" stuck in my head. Surprisingly, only slight modification to the lyrics is needed.
in a way that could be considered romantic
What does that mean? Any consensual sexual intercourse “could be considered romantic.” You might not consider it that way, but someone “could.”
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