Writes Sam Harper, a man who has been married for 40 years and on a path toward losing his eyesight for 60 years, in "Please Let Me Do More Laundry and Vacuuming!
For decades, I avoided domestic tasks. My failing vision has made me cherish them" (NYT).
September 16, 2022
"Emptying the dishwasher is my morning tai chi, bending low for the sparkling glass, then stretching into the empty shelf and filling it."
"Sweeping is a dance. Folding laundry is origami. Our king bed is a canvas for a still life of colorful pillows and blankets. As I work, I repeat one of my many low-vision mantras: In doing, I can be. And being is the sweetest remuneration."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
23 comments:
I can't read the article for free so I won't make a strong presumption, but I wonder if his motivation for making this declaration is to secure praise for doing his fair share. I'm reminded of that one article from a month or few ago that was talking about some hard things men were going through and one of the top comments Althouse pointed out was presumably a woman commenting on how if men would just do more work around the house and their fair share of chores then they wouldn't feel so bad. Maybe this man, has developed Stockholm Syndrome, or maybe he just enjoys doing tasks because it lets him appreciate the senses he has left.
Re: The Vault Dweller:
I actually find folding laundry quite relaxing when I sit down and do it (although it's not high on my list of tasks I like doing). I can imagine other domestic chores being somewhat meditative, since they tend to be repetitive and don't require much active thought. On the other hand I burned myself ironing shirts on Sunday, so perhaps I should be engaging in a bit more active thought, haha.
Ex-farm boy here ... 'doing chores' is deeply ingrained, as are the rhythms of seasonal activities, so I kind of enjoy doing the repetitive tasks of daily life.
I’m impressed that he has been married for 40 years and still has 60 years left to live without eyesight.
Why not just read the article and save yourself from having to make any presumption, strong or not? Use an Internet archive, it only takes a moment. See https://archive.is It would take less time to load the article than to type that you were unable to do so. Of course it would then take a few minutes to actually read the article...
Why does this person run the dishwasher every night? How can he be dirtying so many dishes daily?
"still has 60 years left to live without eyesight"
I hear the criticism that I've allowed ambiguity but it clearly says "has been... on a path for 60 years." This man found out when he was a child that he had a terrible disease, with many problems lying ahead, including blindness.
"When I was 8, nearly 60 years ago, I learned I had pseudoxanthoma elasticum (PXE), a rare and hereditary disease that causes calcification of the skin, eyes and arteries. Worldwide there are about 150,000 of us PXEers, and many suffer varying degrees of PXE-related vision loss."
This poor man can barely see and he is finding the beauty of doing ordinary household tasks.
There is marital banter about the sharing of housework, in what is a particularly beautiful-sounding relationship with a woman who married a man with a bad disease. To imagine this lady as a harridan...
Nice heartwarming story proving the practical utility and psychological imperative of the glass half full attitude.
Blogger Balfegor said...
Re: The Vault Dweller:
I actually find folding laundry quite relaxing when I sit down and do it (although it's not high on my list of tasks I like doing
Folding laundry is my absolute least favorite domestic chore to do. I'd rather clean out a wasps' nest than do that.
Blogger Old and slow said...
Why not just read the article and save yourself from having to make any presumption, strong or not? Use an Internet archive, it only takes a moment
It feels like cheating to me to use something like that that the publisher has put behind a paywall. If they don't want me to read it for free, I will make do with snippets I'm afforded. And with just snippets I avoid making strong conclusions or presumptions.
Ann Althouse said...
To imagine this lady as a harridan...
That is the trouble when people comment on articles they haven't read, they can't know what they are talking about.
If a woman had written this, the NYT would be appalled.
I've been doing most of the household chores forever. I don't mind doing them, and I do them better than the spouse-unit.
As a child, I learned all chores go better with imagination. I had to be in reality at the burn pile though.
First of all, one never bends low for glasses because they should always (with few exceptions) be on the top level.
With the exception of laundry (I never use the correct temperature water...does it matter?) and bathrooms, I do all chores and shopping, cooking, and deal with all vendors (landscape, mechanics, handymen).
It's easy because I retired a long time ago and my wife is working to pay for it all, so fair trade : )
'I don't mind doing them, and I do them better than the spouse-unit.'
That's what they want you to think : )
Good on him. If he wants more time to dance, or do origami, come on over.
I should add I'm doing more housework these days. Although I know better than to say I do 50%
However I do 100% of spider killing, snake relocation and trapping a possum one of the mutts brought in (nasty little devils).
Whatever gives him satisfaction - blindness is a tough sentence.
On a tiny note, I fucked up once about 30 years ago and as penance to my wife have been doing my own laundry ever since.
"On a tiny note, I fucked up once about 30 years ago and as penance to my wife have been doing my own laundry ever since"
30 years ago I left a ballpoint in a pocket. I haven't had to do the laundry since.
I do most of the housecleaning (because, yes, I have higher standards), all the yard work, all the home improvement and maintenance. She does the laundry, cooking, and administrative stuff. It's worked out remarkably well.
I'll note my brother-in-law was a pre-mature birth given too much oxygen as was the standard of care at the time. The result has given him one glass eye and another eye with enough vision to hold down a job, but otherwise severely impaired vision even while corrected. He works for the FAA maintaining computer hardware. I was listening to a description of Hunter Biden's computer repairman, and his blindness and career choice sounded very similar to my brother-in-law.
I have no room to talk about less ambiguity, but it does seem "on a 60-year path toward losing his eyesight" would be more precise.
"Old and slow said...
Why not just read the article and save yourself from having to make any presumption, strong or not? Use an Internet archive, it only takes a moment. See https://archive.is"
This works. (Get the URL with a right click.) However, the article was more interesting when I had to guess at the whole and basically wrote the article myself. I thought the missing part would be about an artistic epiphany not details of the disease and of his marital struggles. I was glad he was had a insight to make him happy but for me podcasts and Hillsdale College courses work to make chores less of a chore.
"30 years ago I left a ballpoint in a pocket. I haven't had to do the laundry since."
Genius move.
Post a Comment