August 31, 2022

"I felt cornered and powerless as law enforcement officers began questioning me while the last of my mother’s life was fading."

"I wanted to be comforting her, telling her how she was about to see her daddy and younger brother as she 'went away home,' as we say in Appalachia. Instead, without it being indicated I had any choices about when, where and how to participate, I began a series of interviews that felt mandatory and imposed on me that drew me away from the precious end of my mother’s life. And at a time when we ourselves were trying desperately to decode what might have prompted her to take her life on that day, we each shared everything we could think of about Mom, her mental illness and its agonizing history. I want to be clear that the police were simply following terrible, outdated interview procedures and methods of interacting with family members who are in shock or trauma and that the individuals in my mother’s bedroom that harrowing day were not bad or wrong.... This profoundly intimate personal and medical information does not belong in the press, on the internet or anywhere except in our memories. We have asked the court to not release these documents not because we have secrets."

Writes Ashley Judd, in an essay in the NYT.

37 comments:

Leland said...

I agree with her about such information being released to the public, but we crossed the rubicon of judicial matters handled in a court of law and instead being tried in public. I recall Ashley Judd supporting the people that brought us this new reality. It's her job to put the genie back in the bottle.

"We have asked the court to not release these documents not because we have secrets."

In the words of progressives these past few weeks; "great then, you'll have no problem with the release of the documents."

Joe Smith said...

She's right, but she's also a bad actress and a terrible person.

Many things can be true...

rhhardin said...

Need for privacy shared with the voyeuristic soap opera crowd.

CharlieL said...

Recently lost a son in similar circumstances. He was deceased when we were interviewed. The officers involved in the interview were the soul of compassion. They had been well trained and apparently experienced. They did their job well while exhibiting great care for our feelings.

M said...

Police need to ask the questions while the information is fresh in people’s minds. The same thing happens to the parents of murdered children so I don’t think it is too harsh for the spoilt over the hill daughter of a elderly suicide. As far as people’s ghoulish interest that is the price of fame. Live by the sword, die by the sword. You can’t whore yourself to the public and then expect privacy when YOU want it.

Ann Althouse said...

I’m sorry to hear of your loss, Charlie.

Richard Aubrey said...

Notified Next of Kin in 1971. Gunship pilot killed in Laos. Kept up with family for various reasons. Years later, found Mom was gone. Only three years ago I found she'd killed herself five years after I'd knocked on their door. Good health, good job, but there's only so far you can carry a Gold Star.
Most of the family was in the home for various usual reasons when she shot herself. One daughter and son-in-law were not interviewed by the cops and still find that hurtful and offensive. Whatever there is needing to be said needs to be said, I guess.

tim maguire said...

Ashley Judd is right that she and her family should be allowed to keep it in the family. Whether she is a terrible person or helped bring about a society in which these things happen is a topic for another day. (I realize her own very personal statement tends to undermine her request, but that too is a gotcha moment we should leave alone.)

Breezy said...

I’m very sorry for your loss, CharlieL.

BUMBLE BEE said...

I've had several close family suicides and deaths. The cops were very cool. The things you need to tell your loved ones... say it now and get clear. The end is THE END.
Remember this, it fucks the cops up as much as you.

Lurker21 said...

Different people have different thresholds for what is intrusive or insensitive.

Ashley's threshold for what justifies writing an article in the Times is apparently much lower than mine.

Mikey NTH said...

When my mother died she had fallen out of bed. My father and my nephew got her back in bed and called EMTs. She had passed and the EMTs called the police. They had to because such a fall could have been someone helping her along, so to say. The police looked at her list of ailments and medications and responded that there was nothing there for them to investigate.

It isn't unusual for an inquiry to be made in those circumstances, much less a suicide.

Howard said...

Tough Crowd.

Birches said...

Yeah, I realize that it's hard being interviewed while your mom dies by a self inflicted gunshot wound, but that's not the officer's fault, that was the result of your mom's choice. It's not outdated to question family to make sure a crime hasn't been committed.

Yancey Ward said...

Well, she and the family had to be questioned. It is standard procedure in such cases. Now, I don't think the events of that day should be a public record, but I understand some peoples' worries that secrecy is worse.

Carol said...

Wait, the police interviewed her while the mom was still alive? Why?

The op-ed is very confusing. And long.

Gahrie said...

The standard is simple: If the information would be released about any ordinary family, it must and should be released about the Judds. If it would normally be kept secret, it should be kept secret.

Carol said...

Oh, Naomi was on lithium.

Another fine moment in psychopharmacy.

Iman said...

She just had to be assertive, but decided there’d be more benefit found in playing the put upon victim.

Iman said...

Peace be with you, Charlie L.

Michael K said...

Ashley Judd is a serious nut. I read an article or book by a guy who was assigned to accompany her on a trip to Africa. She was good in "Delovely" but is crazy.

Narr said...

Reason #957 not to be a cop. Or for that matter a clergyperson--a friend of mine has some stories of 3am phone calls followed by a few hours of cleaning up . . .

AFAIK there aren't any suicides in my family lines--but OD's, old-fashioned drinking into an early grave, we have those. (One reason I'm fairly certain my older brother didn't OD on purpose is that he didn't shoot his dumb bimbo wife beforehand.)

I don't have anything useful or insightful to say about the Judds and their tribulations.

Aggie said...

"I don’t know that we’ll be able to get the privacy we deserve...." said the famous actress from the family of stars, who sometimes leverages her professional 'star' recognition for personal causes.

I'm sorry for the tragic loss of Naomi Judd and the pain she must have been going through. Nobody should have to bear so terrible a burden. People that are raised right will respect the Judd's grief and need for privacy and already accept them as a fellow human. People that have been raised to be glued to stardom as the pinnacle of western cultural achievement might just make pests of themselves.

Buy the ticket, take the ride.

stephen cooper said...

Be nice to someone today, or tomorrow.

You never know what someone has been through.

ussmidway said...

Charlie has a unique perspective here, and I feel for him and his family. We lost a young man years ago who was very close to my family, murdered on the steps of the Versace home in Miami (15 minutes of fame for my nephew who was interviewed on NBC). We were shattered by the loss and the cops were great -- very empathetic even though they needed to ask many probing questions.

The Judds are famous in music and in Hollywood -- a rewarding life I am sure, but the psychic costs are more than some can bear -- unless you walk a mile in their shoes... I believe it is wise to be generous in spirit and allow them space & time to process and grieve. Ashley goes out of her way in this essay to give the cops a break, even though their duty requires them to intrude -- I will give her a break too. She is trying her best here, IMHO.

madAsHell said...

I read this blog daily. I'm always amazed by the new monikers I see expressing themselves at the most unlikely times.

I'm sorry for your losses. Welcome to the Canteen.

madAsHell said...

I never thought Roger Daltrey would appear as Wayne Newton. I failed to include a link.

Wait for the young woman violin player.......she steals the show.

Wilbur said...

"I don’t know that we’ll be able to get the privacy we deserve...." said the famous actress from the family of stars, who sometimes leverages her professional 'star' recognition for personal causes.


This+++.

I imagine she's upset the police did not first submit their questions to her press agent for pre-approval.

Howard appear shocked at the lack of regard for Leftist show biz types here. Sorry, that ship sailed a while ago.

Owen said...

Charlie: prayers up.

Taxiest said...

You don't have to speak to the police. There's no such thing as involuntary questioning. You either agree to speak to the police, or you don't. If you find their questions impolite, tell them to stop. If they don't stop, walk away. If they detain you, don't speak and ask for a lawyer. If they arrest you, don't speak and ask for a lawyer.

Taxiest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

Ashley is an unimpressive little whiner. She got pulled away?
Grow a pair and just say no - and stay with your mom.

Weak.

Dude1394 said...

Never speak to police without a lawyer. Do not be threatened by them. Threatening you with discomfort and taking up your time is their playbook.

Roger Sweeny said...

@ stephen cooper -

"Be nice to someone today, or tomorrow.

You never know what someone has been through."

I think I'm going to put that above my desk.

n.n said...

A conservative is born in principle.

Narr said...

"Be nice to someone today, or tomorrow."

OK, I'll wait until tomorrow, first thing.

Greg The Class Traitor said...

Instead, without it being indicated I had any choices about when, where and how to participate, I began a series of interviews that felt mandatory and imposed on me that drew me away from the precious end of my mother’s life

That is why your first question to the officer is always "am I free to leave?"

If the answer is "yes", then tell them you'll deal with them later, right now your mom is more important.

If "no", ask them why your'e under arrest. Then tell them your'e not going to answer any questions, and you want your lawyer.

If they say anything else, say "I need to deal with my mother right now, so either arrest me, or leave me alone"