Although a positive mind-set can be a valuable coping skill, experts caution against going overboard. Such an approach — known as “toxic positivity” — can be harmful to yourself or others. Research has shown that accepting negative emotions is more beneficial to mental health than avoiding or dismissing them. So, next time you find yourself wanting to tell someone to “look on the bright side,” try instead to acknowledge their pain and ask what would be helpful. This doesn’t mean you can’t be positive, clinical health psychologist Natalie Dattilo told reporter Allyson Chiu. “It’s okay to have a positive and optimistic outlook and feel sad at the same time,” she said. “Both of those are necessary for a healthy outlook and sense of well-being.”
When is positivity "toxic"? "Toxic" is an overused word. I don't like calling other people "toxic." But I understand the various problems when one person in a family takes too much responsibility for injecting positivity into things. It can be silencing and annoying. It can be shallow. It can backfire. But is that person "toxic"?
The Wikipedia article on "Positive psychology" has a section on "Toxic positivity":
Positive psychology is concerned with eudaimonia, an Ancient Greek term for "the good life" and the concept for reflection on the factors that contribute the most to a well-lived and fulfilling life. Positive psychologists often use the terms subjective well-being and happiness interchangeably....
Toxic positivity is the concept or phenomenon in which individuals do not fully acknowledge, process, or manage the full spectrum of emotions, including negative emotional affect such as anger or sadness.... Individuals who engage in a constant chase for positive experiences or states of high subjective well-being may be inadvertently stigmatizing negative emotional conditions, such as depression, or may be suppressing natural emotional responses....
It sounds as though the the concern is that you are toxic to yourself.
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65 comments:
Whatever you do, don't express your negative emotions in your doctor's office.
So basically, if you ignore your negative emotions you will explode at some point and it won’t be pretty.
Among my cohort it is common to wear t-shirts and carry coffee tumblers that say, in cherry bridesmaid font, positive vibes only! While I believe strongly in the importance to choosing one’s attitude and what thoughts one chooses to dwell on, this seems to me an advertisement that the person is fake and secretly miserable and cannot be trusted as a confidant.
Wish I could read the full article.
clinical health psychologist Natalie Dattilo told reporter Allyson Chiu. “It’s okay to have a positive and optimistic outlook and feel sad at the same time,” she said. “Both of those are necessary for a healthy outlook and sense of well-being.”
Read this mess and remember that psychologists report very high rates of experiencing depression and drug use, and commit suicide at a much higher rate than the general public.
In a national sample of 800 psychologists, Pope and Tabachnick (1994) found that most participants had been in therapy, and, of those, 61% reported that they had suffered at least one episode of clinical depression. Over one in four (29%) disclosed that they had felt suicidal, and nearly 4% reported having made a suicide attempt. Likewise, in a sample of over 1000 randomly sampled counseling psychologists, Gilroy, Carroll, and Murra (2002) found that 62% of respondents self-identified as depressed. Of those with depressive symptoms, 42% reported experiencing some form of suicidal ideation or behavior. Finally, in a 2009 APA Colleague Assistance and Wellness Survey, it was found that 40-60% of the responding practitioners reported at least a little disruption in professional functioning due to burnout, anxiety, or depression. Eighteen percent acknowledged that they had had suicidal ideation while dealing with personal and professional stressors or challenges (American Psychological Association, 2010).
Male psychologists commit suicide at about the same level as the general rate for men. Female psychologists, however, commit suicide at about 3x the general rate for women.
Please forgive typos and blame them on iPhone.
This reminds me of when you tried to interject "are you helping" into all early COVID conversations, and the negative responses you got (including from me!).
I would say all the "All you have to do is stay home!" people are toxically positive.
It depends on which end of the battery you lick.
I am Laslo.
You know what's really toxic? WaPo explainers. That's what's toxic.
Laslo Spatula said...
It depends on which end of the battery you lick.
I am Laslo.
12/3/20, 7:46 AM
Lol
What's needed is a scapegoat.
Sometimes a healthy, "Fuck off" is necessary in life.
I was born with chronic positivity. It can really piss some people off, so I know it can be toxic to sensitive populations. Suppress your reactive mind, people: The mid-century modern science of mental health.
Don't let toxic positivity get you down.
anything written in WaPo(D) is toxic.
WaPoo was right - our democracy did die in darkness. Ask poll watches to go home after you lie about a pipe break, and stuff the ballot boxes with fake ballots, in the dark.
"experts caution" "research has shown"
There. Now you know you're getting the truth.
A scapegoat is a emotional support animal banned by the FAA Karen's
Yes, chronic positivity is tiresome. Among [pre-Trump] friends I associated it with a general New Age type of religious viewpoint. Preachers of this kind of drivel have been popular from Coué to Norman Vincent Peale to Joel Osteen. Jesus himself used more negative statements than positive ones.
Some people are positive everything is going wrong.
Those people are toxic.
"As stay-at-home restrictions rise, here are ways to cope"
Sorry, I feel nothing but toxic negativity toward our oppressive overlords.
What you think, you are.
Experts agree and have agreed for thousands of years....
Be transformed by the renewal of your mind. — Paul, Romans 12:2
Your life is what your thoughts make of it. — Marcus Aurelius
A man is what he thinks about all day long. — Emerson
As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. — Proverbs, 23:7
Change your thoughts, and you will change your world. —Norman Vincent Peale
Whoever says mountain [mental obstacle], "Be removed and thrown into the sea," and does not doubt it and believes it, it will happen. — Jesus
And I’m 100% done being lectured by anyone about anything, including what my attitude should be.
Toxic positivity is deciding you can poison your husband with fish tank cleaner, blame Trump and get away with it.
coffee tumblers that say, in cherry bridesmaid font, positive vibes only!
My coffee cup is from a defunct hydrogen sulfide detection company and features a very nasty looking skull and crossbones.
If you didn't read the opening paragraph and immediately know what "toxic positivity" meant, you clearly are not on Facebook.
I consider the WaPo to be toxic, and I need only be made aware of their comment section to receive verification.
My coffee cup is from a defunct hydrogen sulfide detection company and features a very nasty looking skull and crossbones.
I have three favorite coffee mugs.
1. Babylon Bee: Fake News You Can Trust
2. Kam Chancellor 31 [with Seahawks logo]
3. One I had bought for my Mom but got back when she died, pictures an angry looking owl, saying "Fuck Off" [caption: Irritable Owl Syndrome]
I assume "Toxic Positivity" is related to "Toxic Masculinity."
Same woman defining them.
the correct way to cope is to behave like the politicians and ignore the "increasing restrictions"
I despise, detest, and totally distrust the WaPoo.
Positive toxicity is real bugger.
Don't mess with Mr. Inbetween.
Could someone categorize these for me please:
We're all in this together!
It will be a dark, cold COVID winter.
We will make a vaccine available by the end of the year!
We will need to wear masks for a very long time.
OK, Eeyore.
This is a detestable article written by detestable people.
The logical reaction to this lock down is rage.
People should be hanging.
Shorter Achilles: "if you're not outraged, you're not paying attention"
You should have bumper stickers made up.
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Condominia
I encountered the term toxic positivity for the first time last month as members of my church were encouraged to post what we were thankful for on social media. Apparently, having a week of good things to look at instead of the usual "We're all going to die because you won't wear a mask!" posts was just too much for some people who called the exercise toxic positivity. Some people just want others to be as miserable as they are.
Toxic Positivity: I would interpret that to mean self-medicating and indulging through the tyrannical pandemic. Opportunities have been created. With the interest rates at an all-time low, I was able to refinance my house and buy out my ex. Thanks COVID!! Also, the customer service at the Mundelein, IL dispensary is fantastic. They even send out daily texts that greet you with “GOOD MORNING HIGH RISERS”. I’ve never seen so many young people eager to help. And…the Piggly Wiggly in Sussex, WI still has to coldest beer cooler in Waukesha County, WI. Women are eager to have someone take them out in an open county and just have a normal night out. Although I am angered and the tyranny and suffering of small business owners, and kids having to wear masks, I’ve actually had a blast in 2020. Part of me is preparing for Communism. It’s just a matter of refocusing you mind.
The toxic WaPoo wants to panic people into the "sky is falling, the sky is falling" state so they can push Left-Wing programs on them. Typical panic-porn is the China virus, "climate change" and systemic racism. The China virus is going to virus and people will die, because that's what happens to old people - they die at higher rates than the young and healthy. But because they've died with the virus, they died because the virus turned into a vampire and sucked all their blood!
The climate is always changing. It was much warmer during the Medieval Warm period (c 950 A.D. to c 1250 A.D.), it was even warmer during the Roman Era. We're still here.
The Left won't tell you that "Systemic racism" is a feature of the Left wing, not a bug. As long as Democrats are in charge of the big cities, "systemic racism" will continue to exist so they can keep people agitated and voting D.
Let's get rid of toxic songs like the one below:
"You got to ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive
E-lim-i-nate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mr. In-Between"
Achilles said...
"This is a detestable article written by detestable people.
The logical reaction to this lock down is rage."
I thought that we would have moved from lockdown fatigue to lockdown rage before the election. We haven't reached that point yet and that worries me.
To me an example of "toxic poaitivity" is "liberal" and other State-fellators trying to con us into believing (despite the historical record and especially the Democide statistics) that statism is GOOD for us.
Blogger Howard said...
Shorter Achilles: "if you're not outraged, you're not paying attention"
You should have bumper stickers made up.
They have "COEXIST" ones for your team.
So, we need Positivity De-Tox centers? I've spent my whole cynical life preparing for this moment! The nation needs me, and your health insurance pays me and my hand-picked staff to depress you.
Gusty Winds remarks: Part of me is preparing for Communism.
So am I but not in the way you might think.
Get off my lawn, old man
Look at all the Negative Nancy's the emotional support cat dragged in
I encountered the term toxic positivity for the first time last month as members of my church were encouraged to post what we were thankful for on social media. Apparently, having a week of good things to look at instead of the usual "We're all going to die because you won't wear a mask!" posts was just too much for some people who called the exercise toxic positivity. Some people just want others to be as miserable as they are.
Me to Mr. Pants a few days ago: "I guess the Mormons got marching orders from to start posting about what they're thankful for on Facebook...all of the sudden people I haven't seen post anything in years are putting up daily gratitude posts and they're all LDS." He had noticed the same thing in his feeds.
Said with affection. Grew up in an LDS heavy town and many of my lifelong friends are in the church and I love you guys. :)
I know several older Dem women, good people, who have said they are giving up, they cannot face this coming winter. Why are they "giving up," they got what they wanted, I thought, inner toxically. But they didn't, you know. They got Biden. They got lockdowns. They got loneliness. Smiles masked. Snow. A deadly disease, hunting outside. Precautions. Fear. Thanksgiving banned. Christmas banned. Crime rising. Stories of desperate grandchildren, frozen before screens for hours. Telling themselves, it's all good. It's bad, so bad, that the NYT advises allowing yourself a quick tot of negativity, now and then. In homeopathic doses.
No, there are many who didn't get what they wanted. Just Biden. And apparently they can no longer stand listening to fake happy-thought. But they can't see a way out either. And winter is coming on. "Earth as hard as iron, water like a stone."
Yes, the positivity people are annoying, and their belief that they are affecting the cosmos somehow is nonsense that takes a new form every generation. There is no evidence it works. However, there's no evidence that it does harm, either, so calling it toxic is just one more pop psychologist having a feeling that something is good or bad.
Sending a card covers both bases, BTW. It communicates that you know they are in pain but allows you to say something nice. Not that you can't screw that up with the wrong card or a bad note inside it, but it's a good start. There actually is evidence that doing something nice for another person does improve your mental health at least temporarily.
"Research has shown that accepting negative emotions is more beneficial to mental health than avoiding or dismissing them."
The kind of "research" that is published in Psychology Today.
Blogger mockturtle said...
Gusty Winds remarks: Part of me is preparing for Communism.
So am I but not in the way you might think.
oh, Communism. Thought you said "preparing for Communion"
Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Romans 5:12
Because of this, let a man search his soul, and then eat of this bread and drink from this cup. One Cor. 11:28
"Research has shown..."
Among the biggest weasel words in history.
My 'research' has shown that I'm the sexiest man to have ever lived...
Even as a kid I rejected Pollyanna's Glad Game.
As someone who has depression, it drives me to despair when someone who wants everything to be positive won't stop trying to cheer me up. People who insist that we all be happy, even when we feel like hell, isn't helping humanity. They're imposing their desired environment. Those who acknowledge that I can deal with. Those who act like it's altruism to assert my reality must be wrong are another story.
Toxic is a word like racist that gets overused out of context and eventually becomes meaningless. But it amuses Althouse, so what the hay.
Accuracy in media, c 1945. The WaPoo is just the opposite. They bury the truth to push DNC talking points.
I have recently discovered neuroscientist from Stanford Andrew Huberman. He has several interviews on YT. In one of them he said that if just putting a smile on your face could help with depression then there would be no depressed people by now.it is extremely hard to control the mind by "just thinking". So he says there are several tools that humans can use to remove themselves from depressive state of mind. These free tools involve the whole nervous system. And one of the tools is actually gratitude. Deliberate practice of gratitude ( could be 5 seconds to 10 min a day) has shown ( in studies) to increase levels of serotonin in your brain. And serotonin is a path to increasing dopamine ...Gratitude helps reorient your brain from negative thoughts to positive..as for the other tools - I recommend his interviews ( they are somewhat long 1-2 hrs).very informative imo.
It is possible to accept and deal with negative emotions AND maintain a positive attitude. If you spend your time obsessing over negative emotions you are likely to find yourself alone, a lot.
Isn't the problem, as always, the delusions, social frictions, and sense of precarious unease what really make over-seeking 'positivity' harmful? i.e. if you find positive feelings by actually winning, what's the problem?
Says the sign over the doorway to the Biden presidency:
"Abandon hope, all ye who enter here."
Just another example of Toxic Toxicity
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