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৮৪টি মন্তব্য:
DM UPDATED: 19:51 EDT, 13 August 2020
Michael Cohen unveils his bombshell book about Trump and says he witnessed 'golden showers, tax fraud, a secret backchannel to Putin, and lying to Melania' - as he calls president 'racist, a predator and a con man who wants to be leader for life'
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8625259/Cohen-reveals-contents-bombshell-book-Trump-saying-witnessed-golden-showers-tax-fraud.html
With friends like this, you don't need enemies.
As Trump is a noted germaphobe, Cohen's 'golden showers' accusation seems to be a ripoff of the discredited Steele dossier fabrication.
Fabrications beget fabricaions.
A rumor floats that an historic peace deal has been brokered between Israel and the UAE. Furthermore it seems the Trump Admin was involved, which would explain the silence among the leading news outlets.
Celebrated my 63rd birth anniversary today, it has been a great day. Everyone asks if I've decided on a retirement date or year. No is the answer. Someday, probably sooner than later, I will decide what is next. Until then, status quo.
How to pronounce it: Commiela
At this point they are still asking https://twitter.com/MarkDice/status/1294076760078684160
This is in Seattle.
If you live in a blue city, move.
Cannon Hinnant.
I wonder if Althouse ever thinks about having guest bloggers. Or soliciting possible topics from her readers for her to write about. Not as an everyday feature but as an occasional twist.
I miss the dog pictures. I feel that Meade has been relegated to some background role. I imagine that he's the one having to do the moderating and the tedious admin stuff while Althouse dreams and schemes and takes sunrise pictures. I prefer dog pictures to (kind of the same old) sunrise on the water pictures, even though I understand it's a long-term project with a specific purpose in mind. Or did I dream that?
Tomorrow is the day when the bear market of 1966-82 ended, on a Friday the 13th. So today was the date, but Friday is the same day of the week, the same frame of mind.
Indulge me in a brief look back. Markets are doing many of the same things today as they did then, but in mirror image. A sequence of highs now, despite the poor economic environment. Then, a series of lower lows in a poor economic climate but one which had the ingredients of better days via both tax policy, and interest rates. Stocks were between 6 and 7 times earnings.
The markets exploded upwards on the following Monday, 8/17. I can still remember the tone of amazement in the announcer's voice coming through a store owner's little transistor radio, giving the Wall Street update. By the middle of September, or maybe it was a little sooner, the Dow Industrials had moved from their 777 low to over 1000, the number that had been their ceiling for 16 years. How could we buy stocks now, at their all-time highs, many investors wondered. Marty Zweig made a great call when he said, The train has left the station, it's not coming back for anyone.
Then, interest rates were at or still close to the highest they had ever been. Today, they are close to the lowest they have ever been, lows which occurred for the U.S. back last March in the Fed panic.
That Cohen! What fortitude he displayed by not telling all this to the Feds to stay out of jail.
Narr
A real fine citizen, Cohen
Congrats, stevew!
John Kass has been demoted at the Chicago Tribune.
To read stories like this, you have to go elsewhere.
What Lucid Ideas said.
Hey! Serious Question for Sunsong, or Igna, or reading, or whoever
Remember The Hell's Angel, White Supremacist, umbrella man; that was responsible* for starting all the riots and arson in Minneapolis?
They'd identified him, and then?
What ever happened to him? You don't hear so much anymore..
Almost as if, he was just a wet dream
responsible* he spray painted "free stuff" on a door, then broke a few windows and walked away
Maybe Althea can make use of this approach. A temporary sort induced by systemic racism..
Competency exam ordered for man charged in Fond du Lac County hate crime killing
People who know Trump well don't seem to like him. Wonder why that would be?
Hydroxychloroquine works in high-risk patients, and saying otherwise is dangerous
"He Jinli"
(or should that be Ho Wyp Chin?)
Kamala Harris even has a Chinese name 賀錦麗 !
https://t.co/abSDNqmL0x?amp=1
Su Xi-fen & Su Rong-Li, that's the ChiCom father & daughter who helped Kamala choose her Chinese name
Daddy Su Xi-fen had been working at the SF Dept of Public Work while Willie Brown was Mayor & Walter Wong was bribing city officials. Pro-ChiCom Contractor And Permit Expediter Walter Wing Lok Wong Charged With Corrupting San Francisco City Officials Including Mohammed Nuru, Former Head Of SF Dept. Of Public Works, For Over 15 Years -
Wong was good buddies with Willie B while Kamala was top[ cop.
What did she know?
Those Left Coast Lefty pols (Feinstein/schiff/Newsome/Pelosi, etal) really luvz them some ChiCom deals! And dont forget Pluggs & Humper's dealings
Will we be hearing more about "Ho Jinli" Harris in this regard?
Team HO/JOE: How In Deep Are They With the ChiComs?
Meade is the Biden of this ticket, except for the part about pretending he’s on top.
Does anyone have any insights into whether Murder C maybe is innocent and just kept his mouth shut during his murder trial out of omerta????
asking for a friend
Shake your groove things, you people.
Narr
Keep bumpin' booty
Yes.
Cannon Hinnant
I'm reading, a few pages at a time (which I've decided is how I should read anything I really care about understanding and thinking about and appreciating) Max Hastings' book, "Winston's War: Churchill 1940-1945". and I'm reading the actual hard copy book, not the Kindle version.
It's fascinating. I've read other Churchill biographies and other books about WWII and of course I've seen all the movies but I'm learning things I never knew or understood before. For example, the British? They aren't really our biggest fans. I mean, not like I previously had been lead to believe, the special relationship and all that stuff.
I'll leave it at that because I'm probably in the minority, preferring to think about all these people who are dead and gone and how they lived and what they thought, instead of focusing on how to pronounce Kamala Harris' first name and wondering about a national mask mandate.
This is a showstopper photo...really good AA : )
instead of "hitting him with the heart-attack gun",
...what if SloJo is dirtied up enough he gets yanked?
Could that be a possibility?
Durham Dropping Bombshells Before Labor Day
“The policy says you can’t indict political candidates or use overt investigative methods targeting them in the weeks before an election,” said the former federal prosecutor, who requested anonymity.
Barr has publicly acknowledged the policy.
At the same time, the former Justice official said Durham could exploit a loophole in the department rule, memorialized in memos dating to 2008, that allows for action closer to the election. It states that “law enforcement officers and prosecutors may never select the timing of investigative steps or criminal charges for the purpose of affecting any election, or for the purpose of giving an advantage or disadvantage to any candidate or political party. Such a purpose is inconsistent with the Department’s mission.” (Emphasis
added.)
https://t.co/DL0yeJmLz9?amp=1
Brief History of the Justice Dept.'s '60-Day Rule' (Which Doesn't Say 60 Days)
https://www.realclearinvestigations.com/articles/2020/08/06/a_brief_history_of_the_dojs_60-day_rule_which_doesnt_say_60_days_124754.html
Happy birthday, Stevew
Seattle BLM Protesters To Strangers: ‘Give Up Your House. Give Black People Back Their Homes.’
You'd think they would wait until after the election.
Liberals, including some posting on this blog, have been blaming a lot of the violence at the protests these past few months on “right-wing Boogaloo Boys” dressed in Hawaiian shirts. I have better odds of seeing Bigfoot and getting clear video of Bigfoot than I do of a “Boogaloo Boy”. Why? Because just about everybody has a smartphone on them that they can take photos & video of these alleged perpetrators and immediately send the video to their local lefty journalists to be aired & posted on their websites. To date, I have not seen videos of these phantoms. My nephew, who is a lefty and who lives in a lefty enclave in Milwaukee, claimed some Boogaloo Boys armed with guns were meeting at a city park nearby his house one evening during the early June protests in order to disrupt the protests. Really? If that were the case, there would have been a ton of amateur video within hours, if not minutes, on social media with the locals calling 911 to report these gun toting disruptors.
I went down to the Toyota Gladstone of what ended up as three hours of work. I brought my laptop because I had work to do and I was expecting to spend my time in the waiting room working and eating the free popcorn.
But, everyone inside was forced to war a face mask the whole time. I was already gasping for air after a few minutes with the service rep. My mouth wants to be free.
I'm like, is there a nearby tavern? Service rep is like out the back, left and down to the corner. The corner was 1/3 mile away but whatever. Unlike California, people in Oregon still walk places.
So I'm on the patio thankfully mask-less with a pint and three guys from the sewer project I had passed by and trespassed on during my walk to the tavern stop in and sit at the next picnic table. After a few perfunctory remarks about masks sucking and such, I say it's all our communist governor's fault. That livened them all up and for ten minutes I regaled them with my anti-communist comedy routine. I killed.
The genuine, bona fide, gold-digging cocksucker joke about Kamala brought down the house. They finished their pint and we departed with fist bumps and Trump 2020.
That's true for literally 100% of the skilled white working class I meet these days. Oregon is so honky it's rare to meet a skilled black worker. Rural workers like farmers and ranchers are also pretty much 100% Trump 2020.
Oregon was about 60-40 for Hillary in 2016. Me and the other three guys think that the commies, the soy-boys and the AWFLs may be in for a big surprise in Oregon.
The fact the commie-symp Mayor Wheeler was forced to squeak out a condemnation of Antifa shows that the Oregon Dem establishment is feeling their balls in the vise. The Backlash is building.
I'm trying to think of some epithet to throw at the Biden/Harris ticket without just calling them communist fascist fuckheads. I going to road test "The Coot and the Cocksucker." It's like Beauty and the Beast, storybook, man.
Interesting that Althouse's 2 posts on the fine people lie simultaneously brought out more than their fair share of "contrarian" commenters when they, as a group, have been more or less silent over the last few weeks.
As I've said before, I try to notice what animates this blog's lefties, and am often surprised by what they let pass by versus at what they bite. Here I think Althouse's posts must have lit a politically dangerous fire, and like good fire fighters all the engine companies responded to keep it contained.
wasnt 'conversion therapy' frowned upon? This is Lunacy
After Judge’s Ruling, Heartbroken Father Must Pay $5K a Month So His Ex-Wife Can “Transition” His Son James into a Girl
This is hideously evil. Pray for this man and son.
https://www.revolver.news/2020/08/james-georgulas-transition-new-ruling/
This really is the most important Presidential election since 1980.
We have a flawed man, who has been a surprisingly good President vs a flawed figurehead who is not that bad himself, but will allow the violent lunatic Left to run wild in our streets as leverage to push a socialist political agenda.
For you folks on the fence or in the mushy middle, think clearly and don't get this one wrong!
BLACK PRIVILEGE: Thug Expected to Get Probation for Macy’s Assault Because He Said His Brother Lied to Him That Victim Said ‘N-Word’
so... you can commit grievous bodily harm, and just say you were lied to?
Will this work with other crimes, like torching someone's business?
"Someone told me the shop owner is raciss"
And what was that other excuse-- the "instinctive reaction to police"
that has magical exculpatory powers?
What political party perpetrates these putrid policies?
"I miss the dog pictures. I feel that Meade has been relegated to some background role."
Think "Human Centipede" Meade + Lab + Poodle, so not background at all. He's up front for obvious reasons of utility.
I miss the dog pictures.
And how many rat drawings have we gotten since Althouse got her eyes fixed?!
I think Biden and Kamala are both boring - a menace but boring. They're like the stupid network anchor they had on some TV show whose name I forget who never got the point. Seattle loses police protection, Chicago is looted again, NYC bleeds its wealth away, Officer Joseph Mensah is shot at, the public schools fail the children of the black community - and then next comes what ever comes next in 2020. And what will the Two Stooges say at every twist and turn? Trump did it, Trump did it, Trump did it, racism, Trump, TrumpracismTrumpracism, TrumpTrumpTrump. The most difficult year America has ever seen and the Dem candidates are a pair of walking, talking Barbie dolls with Barbie's nice wardrobe and limited vocabulary. There they are sitting high on a media juggernaut cart and being dragged over bodies toward the White House. Which, after having disgraced themselves with corrupt bargains, they will fail to win. And they won't get it any other way either. Because Trump did it ... again.
StephenFearby said...
DM UPDATED: 19:51 EDT, 13 August 2020
Michael Cohen unveils his bombshell book about Trump and says he witnessed 'golden showers, tax fraud, a secret backchannel to Putin, and lying to Melania' - as he calls president 'racist, a predator and a con man who wants to be leader for life'
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8625259/Cohen-reveals-contents-bombshell-book-Trump-saying-witnessed-golden-showers-tax-fraud.html
With friends like this, you don't need enemies.
As Trump is a noted germaphobe, Cohen's 'golden showers' accusation seems to be a ripoff of the discredited Steele dossier fabrication.
Fabrications beget fabricaions.
******************
With that litany of horribles, why didn't Trump arrange to have him killed, or just pardon him?
Either day he defuses the situation.
file this bogus story under ....derp
Given the estimated innate (or cross) immunity in our population, Covid-19 spread is statistically done, and has been for some time
Trump's new Postmaster General DeJoy is being permitted to retain over $100 million in equity with XPO Logistics, a USPS contractor, and has now purchased stock options with competitor Amazon.com. The gangster underground continues to broaden with the slowdown of postal operations, removal of mechanized sorting machines and Trump's refusal to allow allocated post office funding to be spent. Next we will watch as repair expenditures on ancient postal delivery vehicles cease and the hurry-up closing of rural post offices began. Anything to cheat Americans out of an honest election in these times wrought with Trump-caused out-of-control covid-19 deaths.
In the face of these actions designed to save Donnie's ass, Congress takes a three week vacation. As a bare minimum, the House could have passed higher franking privileges legislation to permit our representatives to mail the voting forms at government expense to registered voters with free return postage via registered mail. Such a law change costs nothing since the Post Office cannot, under any circumstance, operate profitably but snail mail will continue until technology wins out.
The NYT last year as Harris dropped out, describing her "unraveled" campaign and explaining her aides had become “given to gallows humor about just how many slogans and one-liners she has cycled through.
A SanFran newspaper reporting that Saturday Night Live was mocking her for her “ ‘viral moments’ desperation.”
A letter leaked in November 2019 from her veteran Iowa operations manager, resigning, saying she'd “never seen an organization treat its staff so poorly” and expressing dismay at its ability to make “the same unforced errors over and over
This is the veep pick who is today being described as vetted, seasoned, awesome, masterful, etc. Harris ended her bid--broke, with tanked poll numbers-- two months before Iowa caucuses. The only person to flame earlier, more spectacularly, was Beto
Everyone from Julian Castro to Cory Booker to Deval Patrick to Tulsi Gabbard to Elizabeth Warren to Pete Buttigieg, to Amy Klobuchar to Andrew Yang to Tom Steyer to Michael Bennet had more appeal and staying power than Harris. But now we are told she is unbeatable?
- Kim Strassel
Gadfly. Reread what you just wrote with a more critical eye and you'll understand why voting by mail is an awful idea.
Yeah. I know. But I gotta try.
Sall327 - As an Englishman I hope I can put some perspective on your comment. I think it might be more accurate to say that Max Hastings has a streak of anti-American snobishness. Churchill himself remember had an American mother, and Boris Johnson also had American citizenship (which he renounced for tax reasons). That said, America did make Britain pay for a lot of the supplies we received for the war effort. No one can question the human scarifice of, for example, the US contributon to the D-Day landings, but Britain ended the war massively in debt to the US Treasury.
"and am often surprised by what they let pass by versus at what they bite.”
Yeah.
Replying to gilbar who wonders why no follow-up to Umbrella Man story. I found this:
"Mitchell Carson was a high-ranked S.H.I.E.L.D. security agent. He had killed his father when he was fifteen years old and many others after that. He had, however, never been caught for any of those crimes and managed to find employment with S.H.I.E.L.D."
I think S.H.I.E.L.D. has lowered the cone of silence on the story.
"responsible* he spray painted "free stuff" on a door, then broke a few windows and walked away”
As has been noted, if he is a “white supremacist” he is probably still laughing. Do you think he had a $1 dollar bet, like in Trading Places, with somebody?
Who is more racist than the “woke’?
You see, expectations of competence, “hard work” – and a concern for whether actions actually produce the desired result – these things are problematic and to be viewed with suspicion, and ultimately undermined. On grounds that they cause “people of colour” to “feel they are living out of context with who they really are.”
That’s from corporate diversity training of a technology company. Hopefully not for manufacturers of aircraft or critical infrastructure. Oh, not to worry, it’s for executives of a nuclear company. It’s almost like the woke and the alt-right are two sides of the same coin. Naah!
I don’t have a lot of black friends, but I have a couple, and they seem pretty damned competent. If I believed the above shit, I would never go to black doctor, for example.
Here is how I will always remember Kamala Harris (as she labored yet again to produce a viral moment). Even Feinstein was better behaved.
Tim, some 'professors' are claiming that mathematics is a racist construct. The 2+2+4 trope reeks of white supremacist patriarchy
ICTA: That truly is a despicable judicial ruling and is proof [as if we needed it] that our country has gone insane.
People who know Trump well don't seem to like him. Wonder why that would be?
[People who get paid millions of dollars to write books] don't seem to like Trump. Wonder why that would be?
Fixed it for you.
Rusty: "Gadfly. Reread what you just wrote with a more critical eye and you'll understand why voting by mail is an awful idea.
Yeah. I know. But I gotta try."
Rusty, the problem is that gadfly only repurposes content created by other leftists, and usually the most insane leftists, and since gadfly understands very little he/she/xe is incapable of discerning the clear contradictions and lunacy inherent in that content.
This is why I refer to gadfly as The Poor Man's LLR-lefty Chuck. They both push far left/marxist/conspiracy talking points but LLR-lefty Chuck is just a tad higher on the IQ scale.
Nicholas: "That said, America did make Britain pay for a lot of the supplies we received for the war effort." The United States government had the poor judgement to think that the greatest empire on Earth and the country with the biggest army and air force in Europe could stifle a jumped-up Austrian corporal. They were wrong.
@ Milwaukie guy:
I going to road test "The Coot and the Cocksucker."
Awesome!
Remember, folks, we heard that first here.
"Coot & Cocksucker, Incorporated." might work too.
My neighbors are both doctors. She is a family doctor and he is an epidemiologist/infectious disease doctor. I see them outside frequently and talk to them two or three times a week outdoors. They have two children under the age of three.
I have never seen either wear a face mask. Not working in the yard, not walking the babies, not speaking with neighbors or family.
They do practice social distancing, but not the "look at me" 10 feet apart variety. More like the comfortable 4-6 feet variety.
They are very nice people.
In my opinion Meade has done an exemplary job contributing to his spouses project without stepping all over it. The yard looks good too.
People who know Trump well don't seem to like him.
Animal biologists have concluded that the species of weasel known as the Mickey Cohen is genetically identical to the species of weasel known as the ARM.
Here is how I will always remember Kamala Harris (as she labored yet again to produce a viral moment). Even Feinstein was better behaved.
The setting of her with an Asian guy and a black guy in the background makes it clear that Kamala isn't black.
I don’t have a lot of black friends, but I have a couple, and they seem pretty damned competent. If I believed the above shit, I would never go to black doctor, for example.
My wife, who has serious respiratory problems, has had two black doctors. One, in California, was African, the other, her present internist, is Jamaican. I saw this in Medical students. Those from Africa and the West Indies do not have the victim pathology of American blacks.
RNB said...
Nicholas: "That said, America did make Britain pay for a lot of the supplies we received for the war effort." The United States government had the poor judgement to think that the greatest empire on Earth and the country with the biggest army and air force in Europe could stifle a jumped-up Austrian corporal. They were wrong.
This comment, it would be an example of the sort of thing that made (makes?) the British not terribly fond of us Americans.
The Guardian, Independent & BBC classes have never been fond of the US.
Those from Africa and the West Indies do not have the victim pathology of American blacks.
Same thing I saw in 8 years of teaching at a primarily Black urban university.
Dittoes on the African-West Indian attitudes. In my experience in a lifetime on campus, they often went out of their way to distinguish themselves from the local diversity. I heard things from them that no local cracker like me could get away with even if crazy enough to say them.
As for Brit-US relationships, it's too early in the morning for nationalistic recriminations and idiosyncratic reconstructions of the realities. Maybe later.
I haven't read Hastings on WSC, but I have read Bomber Command and his end-of-the-war books--Retribution and . . . whatever. He tends to long strings of anecdote, NTTAWWT.
Narr
Let us hear more as you go
The sweaty socks enter first,
Stinking out heaven. The corpus delicti
A mixture of bull shit and bravura.
Sin does not get you there, humility
Gets you there - knowing one is evil
But trying not to be?
Brutalities.
How many times have we heard her say
“Bring him back! Bring him back!”
Or the constant calling of a name
(Spring bird without mate);
And we,
Helpless before the incomprehensible tragedy,
Singing (duet)
“What’s wrong?” and “What can we do?”
The ache and impotence of rage
Thus then became the first limit of age.
And now,
When we have spiralled
To the wider (maybe limiting) view
It comes to seem that that ‘great tragedy’
Was the farce that broke the cow.
And all that ache and strain and pain
(Burning in a bottle)
Was it (in our wide, wild children’s eyes)
The last ditched nobility of a twitched body
Singing: “John, John, John, John!”
And now:
“Mother, mother, mother, mother!”
4 nickels and a 50 pence - that's what I got - hardly a 'fortune' to build another 'fortune' - would I want that? Of course I would. Money is power, of a sorts - so is poetry, for it lasts a thousand years, according to Horace - it nudges the stars. But what poetry? You might say 'good poetry' and that will survive. No, apres la deluge, there will be nothing and from that nothing will come except J.K. Rowling and other idiots.
I don't believe in mankind - womankind, if you will. I know a couple of verities, mankind est une nervrose, sick, ill with it's own sickness. One of these 'sickness's is the inability to be honest.Bowie knew this , the sickness of mankind, a prophet if that means anything, today. 'Nail me to my car, I'll tell you who you are'.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLxp47jLBWA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bcnO3VQ_fc
This is Laura, who I was so desperately in love with I had to disappear myself.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3ewvxy
Dear Ludvik,
Since, for two years, I haven't received one acknowledgement for the presents I've sent to Lesna, I'm assuming you no longer live there and some other lucky bastard, now living in your old place, has kept them for themselves (hope they can read English!). Hence, it's pointless me sending more presents until you decide to talk to me and tell me where to send them. I'm pretty certian something really bad has happened and, somehow, you blame me for it - for more than a year I wanted to find out but had to little money and, when I did have money, this fucking Covid happened!!! (I know, how inconvenient, when people are dying, though not as many as you think and 99.9% were already knocking on heavens door.) I should I say the fucking hystericle, fascist reaction to covid - the lockdown!!
So, when I can travel properly without an efing face nappy and all the other bloody malarkey, I'll come over and try and find you again. Till then,
Have a happy 19'th!
Speak to me,
Lots and lots of love,
Dad.
This is the 'zero' you wanted - nothing gives nothing - outside the cough of the bearly - of course I am a snob, so I mean the 'ordinary' - which threatens violence because I am not ordinary and never could be. Who threatens violence - I want to hit them with the hammer of knowladge - to drum into them what there education has missed. That's stupid, that's absurd - to believe that everyone should be prophets?
W e are the dead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAs_AdffY2Q
I want 'people' to stab me in the heart - I look for that - for death:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWmrfgj0MZI
You know how stupid I am - I want to destroy myself with music - but I have never been an idiot - you know I use you, sometimes, as a talking shop, I can't help it, I wish I could _ I hang on your words like sanity - I want to believe in sanity - but I am insane. You know that. I know that.
Never Again.
That night we were cold,
Flame licking frosted endeavours,
Borrowing the warmth of strangers,
Songs whipped among frailty
Almost with rhythm of heart,
A few frozen sparrows twittered,
You smiled politeness, I said:
“How do you do? How do you do?”
Then:
Sudden catch of a fevered glance,
I panicked, spilled the tea,
Scolded the mutterings,
Eched an awkward pleasure.
Late, I took my leave,
Came never again.
Do I have to wear a mask while reading this blog?
Regards — Cliff
Krieger, yeah, you do.
In order to read any blog that might disagree with you where the full hasmat - you will be clumsy whilst you're punching the Keys but who cares? Not at least, us.
And you have to look at this blog - there are 100,000 others - only cause you're compelled to - no one compelled you - and you came here in order to hate us - well, guess what, we’re hateful - ordinary chumps - who have - guess what - 'humility' - that god given gift that gives you the ability to describe yourself as a shit. Laugh at that, you mourn.
I know - I'm reacting against thin 'opposites' - supposed opponents - and the 'ed' is in the posing - the 'English' in me - my 'racism' doesn't allow me to trace the verities with which I live -, be truthful, be honest, be correct.
Anne, I need assertion - anyone who can tell me I'm not going to die - the plastic assumption of ones legs - the bouncing ball of ones head - as if 'heads were real? I'm sweating like the juvenescense of the year. Everything begins with sour grapes, I have sour grapes, I never met you.
Despair is becoming the 'new normal' - I wake up sweating at 2 am with dreadful dreams - once, my 'unconscious' used to console me, wrapp me round me like a mother - before February - now it just terrifies me. Of course, that is a condition of alcahol and not letting myself recover as I used to. I am terrified and I follow my mothers program of terrifying others, as well as myself, by drinking to much. But there are no others.
My son won't talk to me and I have a couple of theories about about that, all dreadful. The mildest is that his mother killed herself and he blames me - for no good reason, you understand, for no rational reason, except I wasn't there, in the Czech Republic, once more holding her hand. Macavity. Except it was her choice and I excepted it.
Collapse
“Hell, the floor collapsed: there we were,
Dust and plaster, our arses that had
Bumped some bottom of a world. And, so,
A frightened laughter, as if laughing
Might be a ladder lifting us above ourselves:
The shattered bed, the cracked chair, there was I
Thinking “Well, I must rise.” And, thus, broken
Upon it, holding a useless head,
I had to try a door. But, first, the stair,
But, first, all that was above and, now,
Below us, but, first, the joke “Do we care?”
I must go home, without wish, without will.”
Trying To Listen
“Take the opportunity to listen”
And, though all the chords
Had forced their disgust,
I tried: but there was merely
A laziness, a fallacy of sound
Which toured that mid-ear
Of safe distrust, of distance kept
Because no distance could be understood.
So it was presumed we began
With only an undisciplined cry
And, searching for that word,
The ‘honest genuine’, the strict
Discipline was ‘do not try’.
Those ‘triers’ who where impotent
And strange and finally excluded.
XV
She began: again and again, she began:
Yes, she died, curse her, .but she began,
Again and again. And where the strength?
And I a coward- listen to me!
Angels that lie and mock me,
God that smiles in His cruelty,
Shits that bathe in oblivion, listen!
Is it a lie, this end, this mortuary,
This charnel, this final breath:
God, my God, help me to know\y’ (‘to know’?)
To know a grave. You (I hate you, God) please bring me
The peace that’s promised. No? No.
Yet- it is my only duty -I the only last?
Only my duty?
Yet these trees still stand
Green and silver and oblivious.
XVI
Want, then, the smile, thinking beyond,
Merely, the possibility: guide
Yourself towards the quite legendary path
That, ‘as yet’, does not exist:
The mantrap, the green, the profuse flowers,
The red, the blue, the joke
And, yes, a parrot, the parrot
Speaking those words
You thought would come from God.
What did Raymond Chandler say about California - or was it just Los Angeles? - the personality of a paper cup.
The theory is much of what we call ''the blues' is half Scottish - that is not to take away the originality of my great heroes - Johnson, king, hopkins - but to nuance it, to give history - we know there two forms of Scotts-Irish - the dirt poor and the slavers - which gave which to whom? I'm not 'Scott-Irish' so I am not arguing 'for' them I'm English, third Jewish - from Liverpool, an entropool, if there ever was one - Emerson went there - think how difficult must have been - it was the early return for Dickens and later, Wilde - America was in awe of British nonsense - which we invented! Your country had no literature until Edgar Allen Poe - Ok, lets say Emmerson Was he before edgar or contempoary? Or you going Pocahontas, aywitha - that was all crap - a sub wordworthian pilgrim march to Golgotha - completely unworthy of you.
Herman Melville, that was the guy.
Despair is like an image ok, you're not seeing that bus and that bus is ,obviously, not seeing you - but it will happen, like 'never the twain' - between you and it, there’s no relation - how could there be - you're a human being, that's a bus - but still it happens - the smash.
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