May 7, 2020

"The Best Celebrity Couple Has Broken Up."

At teaser on the front page of New York Magazine.

You know they're not really "the best celebrity couple" or we'd be seeing their names. I won't be conned in to clicking through to see who is supposedly the best.

Or... okay, I will do it for you, so you don't have to: "Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson Broke Up?" The only reason given for their being the best is that they, at first, "hid" their relationships "from the paparazzi," and that they call each other "squish."

If that's the best, why can't we have better celebrities?

38 comments:

MountainMan said...

Never heard of them.

gilbar said...

umm, if They Were, "The Best"; wouldn't we have to Know, or Care, who the hell they were?

Oso Negro said...

Cute gay and lesbian couples are passe. Heteronormativity is in again. You can thank this here pandemic.

Xmas said...

Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer have also broken up. Which is sad cuz they have a young kid.

Sebastian said...

"why can't we have better celebrities?"

First, you'd need a better audience.

Crimso said...

To Hell with celebrities. Why can't we have better intellectuals?

mezzrow said...

We'll have better celebrities when we have better people.

rehajm said...

If that's the best, why can't we have better celebrities?

Do we choose celebrity or is it thrust upon us? Key to the first is the answer to the second...

Rory said...

Ironically, the best celebrities pass unnoticed.

Steve from Wyo said...

Who??

rehajm said...

I read all the way to sex bench (shudder...)

MayBee said...

I have no idea who Ashley Benson is and now I'm going to have to google her.

When I lived in London, Cara was doing a modeling job right down the street. When I was walking past, she let out a blood curdling scream and I turned around to see that- she had slipped off a curb (kerb). So I have written her off as a drama queen.

RMc said...

A related article asks, "Should You Buy Cara Delevingne’s Sex Bench?"

Well, since Cara doesn't seem to need it these days...

Temujin said...

We deserve the celebrities we get.

David Begley said...

Maybe one of them switched teams and got tired of using the Sex Bench with the separately purchased accessory.

gspencer said...

The best couple has broken up?

I'm devastated. I gonna eat both of those Haagen-Dazs Rum Raisins right now.

Unknown said...

Never heard of either of them. Sigh.

tim maguire said...

Maybe they're the best celebrity couple because I've never heard of either one of them. Being unknown makes them unique in the celebrity world.

Big Mike said...

why can't we have better celebrities?

Well as long as you keep looking to the Times, the Post, and the New Yorker to pick them for you, you won’t.

Linda said...

I had to click - because I didn’t know who they were and thought (incorrectly) that seeing their photo would help. Nope - don’t know them. Don’t care, but I did see in the article that after 2 years their relationship had runs its course. How sad . . . 2 years! LOL

Meade said...

Cel-ebrate good celebrities, come on!

Fernandinande said...

Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson

The best celebrities are those you've never heard of.

The Tangerine Tornado said...

Because of the people who decide who is a celebrity.

wendybar said...

Who???? Never heard of them.

Lurker21 said...

This is the one time a year when you will be allowed to talk about "shoving their homosexuality down our throats" without being an idiot.

Cara Delevingne comes from English money going back over a century. The clip of her sulking when Good Morning Sacramento introduced her as "Carla" is probably on YouTube.

Ashley Benson was the "dumb but sweet" one on Pretty Little Liars. As far as "dumb" or "sweet" goes, the show set a pretty low bar.

Lucien said...

I thought the best celebrity couple was Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman, did I miss something?

Danno said...

They certainly don't look look very happy in the picture at the link. Never heard of either of them, but I'm not into celebrity culture.

Ralph L said...

I thought the best celebrity couple was Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman, did I miss something?

Allegedly, that was a double beard. Makes you wonder if these two are real Lesbians or if they just had bad experiences with men when young.

Whiskeybum said...

I've noticed that even Fox News front page articles are now using this 'click-bait' technique in some of their headlines, leaving out a key piece of information that summarizes the story so that you have to click it to find out what it's really about. Fictitious example: "This State is the Worst for Coronavirus Patients". It reads like a tabloid.

Leland said...

So my daughter is getting married, and she's hid that from the paparazzi, but I'm not seeing how that makes her a celebrity. Anyway, for a head line like that, a click through ought to reveal Andrew and Meghan, but as noted, if it was Andrew and Meghan, their names would have headlined.

Ice Nine said...

Cara Delevingne? Ashley Benson? Broke up. Right...

I honestly can't believe that this subject elicited a single comment.

William said...

It's not so much that we have worse celebrities but rather we have worse press agents. I'm afraid that this problem will only get worse until more people of talent and energy go into that maligned profession.

Bilwick said...

Disillusioned, I lost interest in celebrity couples when the Ernest Borgnine/Ethel Merman marriage terminated.

Sam L. said...

I'd ask "who are they" if I cared to know, but i don't care, not one little itsy-bitsy bit.

Anthony said...

It's because they're both super hot.

hombre said...

“If that's the best, why can't we have better celebrities?” No tall poppies allowed, only mediocrities.

Jesus and Trump are better celebrities, although not comparable. And look what’s happened to them.

Marc in Eugene said...

The Daily Mail almost always has an article featuring Cara D. and I've never understood why (who is she?), but Lurker21 explained it. And the Good Morning Sacramento woman telling her to go take a nap or drink a Red Bull (since Cara was obviously not 'into' the interview) is amusing.

I still don't know if Mr Trump was good at baseball; am just not interested in keeping up these days.

Bunkypotatohead said...

Now they're celibaties.
Be best.