१५ जानेवारी, २०२०

"Horticulturalists have a mantra: right plant, right place. For the forty-two-year-old photographer and professional gardener Conrad Ventur..."

"... that place is Participant, where his unassuming, heartfelt exhibition 'A Green New Deal'... includes a working greenhouse filled with a hodgepodge of succulents, bonsai, and carnivorous plants.... Ventur is best known for his indelible portraits of the late Warhol superstar Mario Montez, but an earthier muse is the scene-stealer here: the pathbreaking lesbian filmmaker Barbara Hammer, who looks elated, shortly before her death, early last year, to be climbing a tree."

So writes Andrea K. Scott in The New Yorker, where the copy editing is supposed to be rigorous. It's one reason I subscribe, and I have read the book "Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen" by Mary Norris, the eminent copy editor of The New Yorker.

Do you see the egregious error in the quoted passage?!

There is at least one other thing that needs better editing.

५२ टिप्पण्या:

cbuds म्हणाले...

is the image of not her not from early last year?

chuck म्हणाले...

>> death, early <<

Was the only thing that gave me pause.

mccullough म्हणाले...

“To be climbing”

Char Char Binks, Esq. म्हणाले...

You can lead a horticulture...

gspencer म्हणाले...

Taking a Whole-2-culture is like showing a Democrat common sense.

Third Coast म्हणाले...

This sounds a little better: "who, shortly before her death early last year, looks elated to be climbing a tree."

Mary Beth म्हणाले...

1/15/20, 3:57 PM

I'd remove that comma too.

Hagar म्हणाले...

Indelible?

FWBuff म्हणाले...

It should say "who looked" instead of "who looks" since the event happened before her death in 2019.

Freeman Hunt म्हणाले...

Did she fall out of the tree?

Rabel म्हणाले...

Might want to clarify that she did not die due to falling out of the tree.

Unless she did.

Rabel म्हणाले...

If I hadn't added my postscript I would have gotten in ahead of you Freeman. Curses.

Mary Beth म्हणाले...

I'll add that all commas give me pause. Some unnecessarily.

Tommy Duncan म्हणाले...

Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

Never use no double negatives.

Use the semicolon properly, always where it is appropriate; and never where it is not.

Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it where it is not needed.

Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

No sentence fragments.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

When you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

A writer must not shift your point of view.

Do not overuse exclamation marks!!! (In fact, avoid them whenever possible!!!)

Place pronouns as closely as possible, especially in long sentences (as of ten or more words) to their antecedents.

Hyphenate only between syllables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.

Write all adverbial forms correct.

Don't use contractions in very formal situations.

Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.

Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors.

Avoid modernisms that sound flaky.

Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times: avoid hyperbole.

Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

Do not string a large number of prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.

Always pick on the the correct idiom.

"Avoid overuse of 'quotation' 'marks.'"

Never use more words than are necessary to get your point across: be as concise as possible.

Awayz check you're spelling. (Some spellcheckers would only cathc one of the two errors here.)

Every sentence a verb.

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague: seek viable alternatives.

Clyde म्हणाले...

A four-dot ellipsis.

Clyde म्हणाले...

Oh, that wasn't in the original. That one's on Althouse!

Clyde म्हणाले...

Must be the comma between death and early.

The Bergall म्हणाले...

Who writes like that?

Clyde म्हणाले...

I liked the Dutch painting by Gerard Ter Borch further down in the article. Had to go looking for information on his sister Gesina, the model for that painting as well as many of his other works.

Fernandinande म्हणाले...

Barbara Hammer, who looks elated in her portrait taken shortly before her death early last year from falling out of a tree.

Fernandinande म्हणाले...

who looks elated to be climbing a tree in her portrait taken shortly before her death early last year.

Ken B म्हणाले...

No comma after death.

madAsHell म्हणाले...

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

How's that working for you??

Ken B म्हणाले...

Better to just leave out all the tree stuff anyway.

FleetUSA म्हणाले...

Freeman's comments are always a joy to read. Pithy and fun.

gg6 म्हणाले...

Personally, I see absolutely nothing "egregious" here. Of course, I must confess I am NOT a comma-freak. And I am egotistical enough to admit feeling extremely literate in educational and personal terms...or, if nothing else, I call 'no damage, no foul'. I wait breathlessly to hear of the 'egregious'......

ngtrains म्हणाले...

Mr Duncan.

It's been a long time since I laughed that hard

Thank you.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"Did she fall out of the tree?"

This identifies the problem that made me sat "There is at least one other thing that needs better editing."

The egregious error has not yet been mentioned.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"A four-dot ellipsis."

No, there is no four-dot ellipsis. There is a period followed by an ellipsis. I'm following the law review Blue Book form. Where I have only 3 dots in a row, it's an ellipsis in the middle of a sentence. An ellipsis at the end of a sentence looks like 4 dots because there's also a period.

I've been consistent following this rule for 16 years.

Nancy म्हणाले...

Hahaha! That made me sat! Proofreading!

richlb म्हणाले...

The comma in the middle here:

"shortly before her death, early last year"

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

The very first word of the article is incorrect. "Horticulturalist" like saying economicalist, botanicalist, and chemicalist.:

"Horticulture is a noun and horticultural is an adjective. Specialty titles, like economist, botanist, or chemist, are based on nouns, not adjectives. Otherwise we’d have economicalist, botanicalist, and chemicalist."

And don't tell me you've seen it in a lot of places. You're seeing it in The New Yorker. It's still wrong.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"Hahaha! That made me sat! Proofreading!"

I don't have a copy editor, but do proofread and I proofread and correct my posts all the time. With comments, unfortunately, there is not way to edit (unless you delete and repost, which I would do, except then I'd have to delete your making fun of me).

Tommy Duncan म्हणाले...

How about a semicolon or a period between "Montez" and "but"?

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

There's also an error in my comment at 6:58: " chemicalist.:" (an extra period, and it's not long after I made a big deal about the correctness of my ellipses). It's just impossible to edit comments. You have to proofread before hitting publish, and I'm very impetuous about hitting publish and continually editing after publishing. I've tried to stop that, but it's part of what keeps me going here... the endless hope that first drafts will be just fine.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"there is not way to edit"

See?

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"the pathbreaking lesbian filmmaker Barbara Hammer, who looks elated, shortly before her death, early last year, to be climbing a tree"

The information that Hammer died shortly after the photo was taken should not be part of describing a picture of her looking elated as she was climbing a tree! She's not smiling because she's about to die. She's smiling (presumably) because she's enjoying climbing the tree. Her fast-approaching death has nothing to do with her elation... unless it does. It's possible that she's elated because she knows she's about to die and she's feeling especially happy to still be alive. But if the later interpretation is correct, it should have been stated more clearly. As it stands, it seems like the sentence writer just wanted to include more information in one sentence. The New Yorker used to have a copy editor who made a very sticklerish point about not adding extra-information phrases like that — even when no confusion was caused.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"The New Yorker used to have a copy editor who made a very sticklerish point about not adding extra-information phrases like that — even when no confusion was caused."

To make that sentence into an example of the thing she disapproved of:

"The New Yorker used to have a copy editor with long black hair who made a very sticklerish point about not adding extra-information phrases like that — even when no confusion was caused."

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration."

Not so clever when alliteration is mixed up with assonance!

Meade म्हणाले...

“And you know? If that’s what the copy editing law is — I like to obey the law. But think of it, they kill our people, they blow up our people, but then we have to be very gentle with their horticulturalist institutions.”

Meade म्हणाले...

“...their imminent horticulturalist institutions. For example: their covfefe plantations.”

jimbino म्हणाले...

Funny, we don't say environmentist, globist, nationist or minimist

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

“Horticulturalist” is not in the OED.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

Blogger jimbino said...
“Funny, we don't say environmentist, globist, nationist or minimist”

Good counter-argument against the reason I quoted, but I still think “horticulturalist” is wrong.

n.n म्हणाले...

Go Green, clear the woods, the land, the flora, the fauna, and the birds, too, with carnivorous blades.

Ralph L म्हणाले...

There is a period followed by an ellipsis.

Or an ellipsis followed by a period, since the elision occurs before the end of the sentence.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"Or an ellipsis followed by a period, since the elision occurs before the end of the sentence."

Yes, and you may know that the Blue Book (at least when I was in law school) required a space separating the period from the ellipsis and that does, as you indicate, convey additional information that I am depriving you of. I think the extra space looks fussy and I adapted the Blue Book rule for my use. I've been consistent with my approach all along.

Ryan म्हणाले...

What does Mead the horticulturist think?

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

My approach lets me ignore whether the elision was before or after the period, and I really should have checked before writing "There is a period followed by an ellipsis." Sorry if to have written it that way and thanks to Ralph L for bringing out such a fine point!

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

@Ryan

I only ever noticed this fine point because of Meade.

Meade म्हणाले...

Horticulturist can fairly describe a professional gardener who is also a scholar of the science of horticulture.

Horticulturalist describes someone who subscribes to the ideology that says arranging fruits and vegetables and making a salad is Art.

Meade म्हणाले...

Right plant, right place is a good mantra for gardeners, garden designers and even tenured professors of horticulture.

Writers, copy editors and even tenured professors of linguistics could adapt the gardener's mantra: right word, right place.