२५ ऑक्टोबर, २०१८

"Police were on the lookout for a suspect last seen wearing tight leather pants, who might have disguised his appearance by getting a level 8 spray tan. Alias: Holiday Armadillo."

"His getaway from the police failed because he was stuck in second gear. The police approached him with caution because he was known to be trained in karate and unagi, the state of total awareness. However, he did not resist arrest and repeatedly assured the police he was 'fine.' He made a failed attempt at getting off easy by sweet-talking an 'Officer Pretty.' At trial, his defense was that it was a case of mistaken identity and the real thief was someone named Russ. After being found guilty, he asked the judge for leniency in his sentence because he had learned his lesson: that he needs to find the line between stealing and what store owes him, adding: 'Beer? No no no!' The judge agreed and sentenced him to drink a glass of fat."

Riffs my son John on a Daily Beast article, "British Police Hunt Suspect Who ‘Looks Like Ross From Friends.'"

Here's the surveillance shot the nefarious lookalike:



The real Ross, David Schwimmer, responds:



And here's the box set of the complete "Friends" series, which John sent me a while back and which I've watched enough of to get 30% of the jokes in John's riff.

ADDED: The glass of fat:

१८ टिप्पण्या:

Bill Peschel म्हणाले...

I was hoping to hear from him, and I see that he nailed it.

Daniel म्हणाले...

He asserted a single defense: "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

Virgil Hilts म्हणाले...

Video was good but would have synced better to lyrics in Tainted love if they had waited another 60 seconds.

Quaestor म्हणाले...

I approve of his choice of beer. Asahi. Very nice with most foods.

However, Quaestor knows the advantage of wheels.

Nonapod म्हणाले...

"Officers, I swear it wasn't me." sure, sure, Schwimmer. A likely story.

his defense was that it was a case of mistaken identity and the real thief was someone named Russ

Hmmm... "Ross" seems pretty close to "Russ".

Lucid-Ideas म्हणाले...

It's relieving to see that he's working again, and that he's found employment with Twitter.

Ah Twitter. Hollywood's fallback plan.

rehajm म्हणाले...

Rachel going commando made me lose my train of thought...

Kevin म्हणाले...

My gosh she was stunning back then. I always forget why the 90s belonged to her, then I see her again and wow.

Fernandinande म्हणाले...

British Police Hunt Suspect Who ‘Looks Like Ross From Friends’

The quote marks makes it fake news: the police didn't say that he 'Looks Like Ross'.

Not being familiar with "Friends", I think the headline should be:

British Police Hunt Suspect Who ‘Is Rather Nondescript'

because the police didn't say that, either.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

Jennifer Aniston's acting is brilliant in that scene.

SeanF म्हणाले...

Nonapod: Hmmm... "Ross" seems pretty close to "Russ".

I bet that one was part of the 30% that Althouse got.

rehajm म्हणाले...

Perp looks more like Adrien Brody.

dustbunny म्हणाले...

I loved and still love Seinfeld for all the reasons I never liked Friends. The former was smart, funny, infinitely quotable and weirdly relateable in a perverse Larry Davidish way. Friends was simply lame and boringly conventional.

California Snow म्हणाले...

Anniston was so freakin hot back then.

Leora म्हणाले...

Not directy on topic but I was thinking about your older post about sit coms where the characters change over time and realized that Thirty Rock qualifies. It also showcases Alec Baldwin being genuinely funny while portraying a right winger.

Mark B म्हणाले...

". . . he was known to be trained in karate and unagi, the state of total awareness." Unagi means "eel" in Japanese (very tasty, but totally lacking in awareness).

What am I missing? Maybe I am being too literal?

D 2 म्हणाले...

Never watched Friends but was aware enough because of the craze of the Haircut thing. Can't remember what year.
Tangential: I once suggested to a friend that I could see myself standing in line before the gates of heaven (hopefully many more years from now) and lo and behold who is there right in front of me, but Mr Brad Pitt. St Peter calls him up to the bar, looks over the Book and sees the rascal:
"So, now, just to be clear: Julia Ormond. A young Gwyneth Paltrow. Jennifer Aniston. Angelina Jolie."
"..."
"Well, then, I think you know well enough. You can go right to hell. Enjoy bunking with Warren Beatty"

Unknown म्हणाले...

The chemistry between the actors on long-running ensemble shows, well, shows.