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Mga Post
Mga Post
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31 komento:
Cat Helper?
""My kitten is purring so loudly that it hurts my ears, and the neighbors are already complaining. What should I do?""
Shoot the cat?
Not sure of the correct answer, so I just took a shot at it.
Laser pointer?
This is silly.
Cats don't purr that loud.
Fake news. To the extent it is news.
Not only that, but the damn kitten is stomping around so much that the windows shake.
Don't finger your pussy and get it all excited and you solve the problem.
There are only two choices: ignore the cat or euthanize it.
-sw
Show it a picture of a hyena. If the kitten eats the picture, move slowly toward the door.
The Guiness Record for cat purring is 67 decibels.
holy shit...
https://intellectualfroglegs.com/the-media-that-cried-trump/
It’s the footie massage back and forth thing that kills you
My dog is barking so much that my neighbor blasted his airhorn as signal to me to bring his ass inside. #realpeopleproblems
list of common noises and their decibel levels
55 – 70dB dishwasher
110dB baby crying
White Noise - Cat Purring (8 Hours)
Just because you can, I suppose.
Purrli - The Virtual Cat
The Pussyhat Protesters Inauguration Protest 2017
Elective abortion is a human rite. Yes, it is.
if you exchange the Cat with the synonym Pussy, it's Much funnier
Get the cat a CPAP machine.
Make the cat more content. A patented Hardin shoulder knead should work. Then stop.
Keep the cat. Shoot the neighbors.
the last time I made someone laugh by seriously asking a serious question was at the bank a couple months ago. They had, for a couple months, two or three of these little - a few inches high - flexible Polynesian dancing warrior and dancing queen of the island dolls on the bank counter, little toys that swayed back and forth depending on the amount of sunlight on their sun energy collection thing (as well as a happy dandelion, who similarly danced back and forth, a happy little creature with a face like the sun, and a pink lollipop, all of which swayed left and right at a quicker and slower pace depending on the amount of light that reached their little energy collecting panels), and one day I showed up and they were not there (not the people at the bank the little toys).
So I asked where they were and the teller said they were not allowed to have them on the counter anymore.
For a few minutes we went over my bank account issues (a check or two deposited, some cash reimbursed, making sure a check had cleared, and my usual request for a roll of nickels, and to have the disbursed cash in any denomination, but preferably the newest and freshest bills possible) ... and when we were done the teller said thank you and instead of asking "is there anything more that we can do for you" asked "do you have any more questions?"
I couldn't help myself. I looked at her for a few seconds, with a puzzled look, and finally I asked her "are the little toys ever coming back"?
The teller laughed, the teller to her right laughed, the teller to her left laughed, and the person at the desk in the background behind the tellers, going over his paperwork, made that sound you make when you want to laugh but do not want to spit out the coffee you just drank onto your keyboard.
While I was happy to make some bored people laugh on a dull day (thousands of people have done that for me and I am glad to return the favor, when I can) ... the cheap little Polynesian plastic dolls, the happy plastic dandelion, and the smiling swaying anthropomorphic sun have not yet, to date, returned. Not the pink lollipop either.
Que sera, sera, as Doris Day likes to say.
Q: ""My kitten is purring so loudly that it hurts my ears, and the neighbors are already complaining. What should I do?""
A: "Grab the pussy by the pussy"
a sack some rocks a string and a river
maybe a multivitamin will help
My kitten is purring so loudly that it hurts my ears, and the neighbors are already complaining.
Humble-brag
Howard - John Cheever started a novel that way (with a scene of the killing of kittens). He was a profoundly unhappy man, and made the people around him unhappy, despite his worldly success.
Hide her vibrator.
Stephen Cooper said...
Howard - John Cheever started a novel that way (with a scene of the killing of kittens). He was a profoundly unhappy man, and made the people around him unhappy, despite his worldly success.
8/19/18, 9:50 PM
I see you've met our Howard.
Knit the kitty a little muffler.
"What should I do?"
Dream up a believable question.
Althouse: Who needs answers when there are questions like that? (Stop! Don't answer!)
What if there were no rhetorical questions?
Why do I think of the line “Ward, you were awfully hard on the Beaver last night.”
The first answer to the question is pretty great.
Recently I’ve been house-sitting a cat (having never owned one myself) and I’ve been pretty shocked by how loud it can purr.
I call bs on this one as well
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