Said Steven J. Pearlman, MD, a facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeon.
But Karen Caraballo, a Bilingual-Spanish Child and Family Psychologist, said "It is concerning to use plastic surgery to stop bullying. There should be zero tolerance for bullying. Bullying can threaten students' physical and emotional safety at school and can negatively impact their ability to learn, socialize and deeply impact their mental health."
At the link, you can see before and after photos of a 6-year-old boy whose classmates called him "elf ears."
ADDED: Results:
पोस्ट्स
४६ टिप्पण्या:
Unbullied kids turn into metrosexuals.
Oh...you're talking about a kid....when it said a 6th grader with big ears, I was thinking Obama....
a Bilingual-Spanish Child and Family Psychologist
Yet she gives all her recommendations in English.
Poser.
I recall kids from my youth getting ears pinned back, usually after puberty. Sometimes you do grow into your body. I think the parents here may have taken the easy way out, instead of working with the kid to develop coping skills. But then I wasn't living through it, so maybe it truly was their best option.
My daughter, who is now 35 and beautiful, had ears so big her mother said she looked "Like a cab with the doors open" when she was 12. She had braces then that added to the effect. She grew into them and by 16 was gorgeous. There is a photo of her with the Rosetta Stone here.
Plastic surgery at age 6 is the parents freaking out, not the kid.
We were all bullied. When I was a kid of 6, a neighbor kid used to chase me. Finally, one day he caught me and I turned like a cornered rat, He ran away. Not enough kids today have ever stood up for themselves, even in desperation.
I think the difference in the expression on the boys face between before and after says it all.
Famous people who have had elf reassignment surgery:
Audrey Hepburn
Rachel Maddow
Michelle Williams
Kelly O'Donnell
Tim Geithner
Elijah Wood
Jonas Brothers
I was prepared to say, "no way should a bullied little kid get plastic surgery", but the kid in the photos actually seemed like an extreme case. I don't fault them.
First off: I think the kid's ears were kind of cute (yes, I feel weird saying on the Internet that a kid is "cute", I'm sure I can expect to be v& now).
Secondly: These folks are right that visual archetypes like elf ears are present in children's cartoons, even the new, sensitive cartoons where the main characters are all disabled, minority females and the lessons imparted are really serious, important ones like washing your hands or eating vegetables. (I mean, Donald Duck used to fight Hitler)
The cartoon producer wouldn't dare have the main character be a white child or (simulacrum of one), but invariably the villain is a bald, ugly white man and the stupid henchman is a fat white man with a big nose. At least when Disney did the archetype thing, the good stereotypes were also present: Dashing Prince, Beautiful Damsel, etc.
It's problematic that some stereotypes are permitted by the powerful in our culture but others are not and I dislike the prejudices of the media.
The kids ears looked pretty bad; however, if young children start getting surgery to fix them that will increase pressure on those with big, protruding ears who don't as they will stand out even more. And, over time, one would expect that even smaller, less protruding ears will "need" fixing, as these will then become the outliers after the more egregious examples have been fixed.
So, is the takeaway that cosmetic surgery for children should or will become as common as chickenpox once was? And if so, shouldn't there be a mandate for Medicaid and private insurance to pay for it?
Or is "psychological need" such an inherently plastic concept that its use to drive mandates should be severely limited (because otherwise it has no limit)?
If a need is socially constructed, does that imply that it can be deconstructed and, if so, might doing so be a better solution than near-universal surgery?
Would plastic surgery be OK for other physical defects like a cleft palate, or should kids learn to live with who they are? Should kids who bully kids with physical deformities be taught not to bully, while in the meantime the child is feeling awful? Should kids who have crooked teeth get braces?
It's a good fix. Why not? I see nothing wrong with it. Now the kid go through the rest of his life without the burden of his ears. I guarantee you if you asked him about when he was 18, he would be very happy his ears were fixed.
On "zero tolerance for bullying"...
I serve on a school board and just got a call from the parent of a 6th grade boy. One of his friends, a girl, kicked him. He kicked her back. He was suspended for bullying.
I know it didn't meet the pattern of behavior described in our policy on bullying, because I helped write it. The parents can appeal, etc... But that doesn't address the lack of common sense that "zero tolerance" can produce.
Anyway, the parents should decide whether the boy receives the operation, and there is nothing wrong with getting it.
I voted no, thinking the kid could grow his hair long and cover the ears. I changed my mind after seeing the photo. Actually less costly and painful than braces, although that starts a few years later.
If we can teach men not to rape, we can teach kids not to bully!
“If you look at cartoons depicting individuals of lesser intelligence, they are often drawn with big, protruding ears,” he said.
Well, maybe. But not just big ears, nor are big ears even one of the main bits of shorthand for "idiot" -- the sloping brow, buck-teeth, and weak chin are usually the features emphasised in caricatures of halfwits. His peers were apparently mocking him as "elf ears," not even "Dumbo" (although this may be because 6 year-olds are no longer allowed to watch Dumbo on account of the crows -- are they?).
There should be zero tolerance for bullying...
...and anyone who expresses a contrary opinion to me is bullying, and should not be allowed to.
Kids grow like puppydogs, and it is hard to tell what they will end up looking like.
But those ears do look out of the "normal" range, and a boy cannot (or should not) let his hair grow to cover them like a girl can.
If his parents could get it properly done, "better safe than sorry."
I don't know what the answer is. I'm repulsed by the idea of plastic surgery for a non-deformed child, but it's just pinning back some very big ears and, as was pointed out above, the kids smile in the after picture says it all.
So maybe I do know what the answer is, but I'm still put off by the plastic surgeon's remark that a six year old can decide about plastic surgery.
Why not? If you look at the picture, it's an extreme case. If he was a real elf, it would be a different thing. We should be tolerant of elves and aware of the contributions they have made to Middle Earth.
What he need's is more hair. Trimming his hair to a military buzz cut is what is exacerbating his protruding ears.
"Would plastic surgery be OK for other physical defects like a cleft palate,"
A cleft palate is much more than an appearance issue. I would have hoped you knew that.
Adults choosing plastic surgery for appearance is a lot different than doing it to kids. Braces are not the equivalent.
"If we can teach men not to rape, we can teach kids not to bully!"
Is it worth mentioning that even if you could teach 99.99% of all potential rapists not to rape, and 99.99% of all potential bullies not to bully, that still leaves a lot of rapists and bullies at large?
Which is to say, so long as the percentage of teachables falls below 100%, you might wish to retain your options to (1) minimizing the risk you'll be victimized, and (2) learn or at least think about your best options if, despite your attempts to minimize risks, you are victimized?
Yes, they did the right thing. Cute kid.
We have become a nation of extremes and I know there are many examples of true bullying, but it seems have lost the ability to make distinctions. What this child was experiencing was teasing not bullying (unless he was cornered and beat up in the hallway for his ears). As always before we need to teach our children to be kind toward one another and respect their elders, etc. But we also need to teach them to have a little mental toughness, e.g. "sticks and stones etc., as my generation was.
We were all teased about something and we all teased back, it was a test of our wits. For example, bow legs runs in my family and I was teased pretty regularly about it -- I didn't/don't consider it a defect but a trademark. My father had ears like this kid here and he was the only one who spoke of it, usually after he had a hair cut he would almost brag that now everyone can see his ears again. A part of parenting is teaching our kids to buck up a little. I wonder if some parents allow their kids to pursue victim-hood as a way of avoiding a difficult chore.
Too bad he can't fly anymore.
Just think if there weren't any bullies. We wouldn't have a giant population of busybody women running around schools suspending boys as in CJinPA's example above. Just think of the power our public school administrators would lose over the children there.
Our kids are getting terrible skills in math/reading. But they, especially boys, are getting a first rate education in oppression and bullying from an overwhelmingly female group of teachers and administrators. How is that supposed to work out?
You know what else is a cartoon signifier of stupidity? Big boobs.
First it's the ears, then it's the cleft palettes, the small boobs and the flat butts. The Plastic Surgeons must not be making enough off of sex changes anymore.
Agree they did the right thing. And, at 6, it's really the parent's decision. They should take the credit or blame. "Little Johnny wants it" is seldom a sole valid reason for anything involving a scalpel.
We fix children's teeth with what are often painful procedures. This was just the pinning back of some ears. I should add that the kid looks cute as heck in both pictures... but that's how an adult would see things.
It's actually COMMON to have plastic surgery to fix minor congenital cosmetic faults at a young age, especially affecting the face and hands. This is very, very minor surgery.
Given the lack of risk, and the fact that the boy was being teased, I think the parents made the right decision.
Children at such a young age are not easy to deflect from making remarks about the oddity of others. Even if you shut them up, they will be very obvious about noticing. They don't have much of a filter - they're six year-olds. The reaction is instinctive, and learning to overcome it can only come later.
If the boy was suffering over it, why not? Once the boy had become self-conscious over it, even the stares when he was out in public would have become a burden.
Those were not just big ears! They were out of the normal human range.
I grew up with a kid that had severe monkey ears. No one bullied him, but he had very negative self image problems. At nine his parents had the ears fixed, Jimmy blossomed.
Another thing that may have gone into consideration is family history. If there are other members of the family with ears like that, you know the long-term outcome. Might as well have it done young if you would end up doing it later.
I agree with Igv and the others who say yes, why not? Why make him go through it if the fix is easy.
And the idea that we can create zero bullying through a zero tolerance policy is eye-roll inducing. First of all, we can't be with kids every step of their day. Second, we are terrible at judging what bullying might be and the authorities always go too far. And third, if the ears stick out a lot, someone is apt to notice. And if they say something about the ears in a non-bully way, but the kid is sensitive, it still has an effect. Just fix the problem and let the kid grow up without that particular worry occupying his mind.
They may have "unintentionally" skewed the results by having the kid frown in the “before” picture and smile in the “after” picture.
A cleft palate is much more than an appearance issue. I would have hoped you knew that.
Adults choosing plastic surgery for appearance is a lot different than doing it to kids. Braces are not the equivalent.
Yes I do. But depending on severity, the surgical solution also serves to change outward appearance as does later surgery. Braces are analogous in that, unlike the cleft pallet, it is often done for appearance reasons only. My sister and I could have used braces, but our family did not have the money. There was no medical reason for it. Later in life we both got braces to enhance our outward appearance. It is not the same in that it didn't involve surgery, but then again, not all surgeries are the same as far as risk.
Had the parents done this surgery over Christmas break, or over summer, and kept quiet, the kid might have had less public attention to his changes.
When I got 7 stitches in my forehead following a stupid activity in college, I wore a baseball hat for three weeks. Such anti-publicity seemed to work pretty well.
It derives from the donkey prototype, but may be more related to their infamous intransigence.
@Peter (11:27 am) -- I hope you understand that my comment was ironic.
My mother had this surgery done for my sister when she was that age in the late 1960's. I can for sure that my sister has always been grateful she did that
My 9 year old daughter has big ears. Her doctor took me aside and suggested surgery. My daughter never said a word to me about hating her ears, so I told her doctor that I didn't think she'd be interested. When I *did* bring it up to her, she said she wasn't interested in the surgery. She says she likes her ears. She said, "Without my ears, I wouldn't be A---"
I love that kid so much, and I'm so proud of her.
I didn't vote, because I just wanted to say "No."
...wouldn't be what??
Just give the kid a magic feather.
The phrase "it is concerning" is even more concerning.
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