October 10, 2014
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22 comments:
Time and tides and lava for no man wait.
Trapped in his hot embrace, she resisted until he overcame her. His smoldering passion flowed into her gaping orifice. A few times she grunted, like air bubbles bursting under hot lava. "I never dreamed it could be like this," she sighed, "but I'll be goddamned if that was affirmative consent."
Not very authentic. Everyone knows that a real Hawaiian would have used a can of Spam.
Couple guys in my Boy Scouts troop did that, only instead of ravioli they used beans, and instead of lava they used the campfire. Then the scoutmaster chewed 'em out, of course, since the shrapnel could've been quite nasty.
A Time Capsule. The future guys will open it and think we were ancient carb eaters.
"The future guys will open it and think we were ancient carb eaters"
More like we sacrificed carbs to the volcano gods.
I'm guessing that guy is a guide, because I wouldn't have thought to bring things with me on our trek out to the lava last year.
My spouse poked the lava with a stick we found nearby.
One of the youtube commenters said that they hoped he cleaned up the trash. I hope they were being sarcastic.
Paul Mooney famously said "The white man is so bold, he'll crawl inside a can of beans."
No mention of how they opened the can,...
The sad part is, it works faster than my microwave.
Man, if only I had a lava flow nearby...
It's done!
If Obama had been there he could have made the lava recede and saved the can, because global warming.
I lava you, Ann.
The Crack Emcee said...
Paul Mooney famously said "The white man is so bold, he'll crawl inside a can of beans."
I saw Paul Mooney at Caroline's near Time Square years ago. Looking like the Iowa farm boy I am decidedly not, I was stopped at the door and informed that the comedy was racially charged and I would not receive a refund if I was offended. As far as I could tell, I was the only person who received this warning.
The NYPD and Hispanics bore most of the brunt that night. I didn't think there was any reason to be offended, but a few people did leave in a huff. I can't recall many specific jokes, except a bit about how there'd be no bulletproof Pope-mobile if the Pope were black, because he'd return fire.
They made even the lava fart.
I always thought Chef Boyardee meat raviolis were stuffed with pocket lint.
No mention of how they opened the can,...
A black man did it for them, obviously.
This will happen to all of the cans of ravioli when global warming kicks in. There will be no more canned ravioli in those frightful days to come, not for the poor, not for the rich.
Crack Emcee goes to open a can of ravioli. The tab comes off without opening the can.
"So, a black man ain't allowed to eat canned ravioli! I should have known better when I saw the picture of the cracker on the label!
This going into my reparations notebook, for sure! Open up your wallets a little wider, white folks!"
Unbelievably suspenseful.
I like how the end of the video repeats Chef Boyardee's money shot.
This is not new. It has been done for centuries to honor the loss of Chef Boyardee's distant relatives in Pompei.
I hope Chef Boyardee's family sues for royalty reparations.
One of my.."ooh that's cool " moments growing up was drinking sodas at Boyscout campouts, throwing the empty cans into the flames, and watching the cans melt.
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