Althouse: "Exploiting men for meals is tough. I have to put up with a lot of bad conversation..."

November 1, 2013

"Exploiting men for meals is tough. I have to put up with a lot of bad conversation..."

"... and to be honest for awhile there I didn’t think I was up for the challenge... Yes, I had some good food but was it really worth my time?"

Since you did it, it was worth it to you, and since they did it with you, it was worth it to them too. The market decided. Now, go forth and shop for what you want now.

47 comments:

TosaGuy said...: Be curious to see how this article impacts her dining routine.

This is in Canada, if in the US, she perhaps would be a Hipster on Foodstamps.; 11/1/13, 12:53 PM
PB said...: "Miss Wotherspoon says that through all the free meals, she hasn't met a single man who has piqued her interest."

"She has yet to go on a second date with any of the men she's met."

I think there's some market response here:
- No repeat business
- Her customers realize they're being used.; 11/1/13, 1:03 PM
Chris said...: "... and since they did it with you, it was worth it to them too..."

I disagree. Sounds to me like the men were paying to play a rigged game.

I can't believe she's such a sparkling conversationalist, herself. And she's not so beautiful that that wouldn't matter.

"The market decided."

The men bought a lemon.; 11/1/13, 1:04 PM
Oso Negro said...: It is a short walk from dating for dinner to being an outright merchant of pussy. Interesting to reflect that after so many decades of the women's movement we find ourselves precisely here. At least with the internet, she can market her services efficiently and without a pimp. Progress, baby!; 11/1/13, 1:05 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Sounds to me like the men were paying to play a rigged game."

They played with the amount of information they had. They did not have to play.

I have no sympathy for anyone here.; 11/1/13, 1:05 PM
Ann Althouse said...: The man may have hoped for more. If he thought buying dinner would get him sex and he didn't get it, who cares?

On the other hand, if she had been honest — 1. I only want dinner, 2. you pay for dinner, and 3. I will be a pleasant companion throughout — she might have closed the deal.

If he indulged his fantasy by failing to discover this was the nature of her offer, then he got that too.

Who lost?; 11/1/13, 1:08 PM
Ann Althouse said...: Personally, I can't imagine spending 2 hours (or whatever) with someone I didn't want to be with just so I could get fed.

If I were starving, I might do something I don't like for food, but that's far from being in the position to finagle a dinner date. If you have enough money to get dressed decently enough to present yourself at a nice restaurant without getting rejected, you have enough to buy a gallon of milk and 5 pounds of potatoes.; 11/1/13, 1:12 PM
LordSomber said...: People used to be ashamed when they were caught doing something shameful. Now they just go to the media.

File this with first-person tell-alls from wives who think nothing about disrespecting their husbands in public and idiots who share their criminal exploits on Twitter and YouTube.; 11/1/13, 1:19 PM
Alex said...: I'm with Ann on this one. If you're starving, go to the food pantry. Why go through all this trouble to sit for 2 hours with somebody you don't want to just so you can tick off some box?; 11/1/13, 1:20 PM
William said...: The point of the exercise was not to get free dinners but to get free publicity. Now she's the most famous aspiring actress in Toronto. I would recommend to any casting director that he hire this woman if he wishes to cast the part of a shallow gold digger. Win win for everyone....,You people here are insufficiently cynical to properly function in this world.; 11/1/13, 1:25 PM
Big Mike said...: That was the first thing I thought when I saw Ms. Wotherspoon's picture -- that she'd be a great conversationalist.

Not!!!; 11/1/13, 1:26 PM
Anonymous said...: A self-employed low-priced escort.; 11/1/13, 1:28 PM
Balfegor said...: Well, the men might have wanted sex. Or they might just have wanted to eat at a nice restaurant, where they'd have felt awkward going alone or with a male friend. She was evidently conveniently to hand, and young women who obsess over their looks usually order cheap stuff like salads rather than expensive steaks, so it all seems very reasonable from both ends.

I suppose she did list herself on dating sites. But if she were honest, I don't think she'd get no takers. Just fewer, perhaps, and more fat men of middle-age.; 11/1/13, 1:28 PM
Heartless Aztec said...: Happened to me once. Realized I was being played about 20 minutes into dinner. I excused myself to men's room found my waitress and handed her a $20 with an explanation. My waitress then presented us with two separate bills for the our dining experience. She was lovely, though thoroughly unhappy, fluttering from her own petard.; 11/1/13, 1:29 PM
paul a'barge said...: Personally, I can't imagine spending 2 hours (or whatever) with someone I didn't want to be with just so I could get fed.

Men have been putting up with this for an eternity, with the following difference:
"Personally, I can't imagine spending 2 hours (or whatever) with someone I didn't want to be with just so I could get laid"; 11/1/13, 1:29 PM
Balfegor said...: Re: Althouse:

Personally, I can't imagine spending 2 hours (or whatever) with someone I didn't want to be with just so I could get fed.

Well, but suppose you really liked fancy food.; 11/1/13, 1:30 PM
Matt Sablan said...: If a man wants to trade money for sex, there are more obvious ways to do it than buying a pretty girl dinner. Though, I've been told that "dinner and a movie" is a TERRIBLE first date and to NEVER do it. I've also been told no flowers on a first date, so, things, they are a changing.; 11/1/13, 1:31 PM
Heartless Aztec said...: Adddendum: The waitress and I went on to be good friends...; 11/1/13, 1:31 PM
heyboom said...: I have no sympathy for anyone here.

The only motivation we know about for sure is the woman's, through her own comments. In all fairness, we can't even begin to discern what the men were actually thinking. In that sense, it seems you're being a bit too judgmental on the men who's only apparent crime was to buy dinner for someone.; 11/1/13, 1:34 PM
n.n said...: I never considered dating to be a marketable event. It's an alien perception which I cannot reconcile.; 11/1/13, 1:34 PM
Chris said...: "They played with the amount of information they had. They did not have to play.

I have no sympathy for anyone here."

I'm not talking sympathy, I'm talking value (you chose the market metaphor). The woman received dinners in exchange for time spent, bad conversation and no prospects.

For the time spent, bad conversation, and picking up the tab, the men presumably expected at least someone who was honestly interested in them, other than as a meal ticket.

But, hey, maybe some of the men actually realized they were paying for a budget escort.; 11/1/13, 1:41 PM
Matt Sablan said...: As an aside, this is one of the many, many, many reasons I would never use an online dating service. Being used by a woman I knew personally for a free meal ticket is a lot less likely than HungryBlonde256.

Here's an interesting thought though: After all those dates, the only constant is... her.

Maybe she's just not that interesting to talk with?; 11/1/13, 1:44 PM
Gahrie said...: Oh the humanity....surely there is a government program to give woman such as her financial aid so that she does not have to undergo the horror of dating aman in order to freeload off of others!

Out of my uterus and into your wallet!!!!!!; 11/1/13, 1:47 PM
Gahrie said...: I have no sympathy for anyone here.

Have you ever had any sympathy for a straight man? If so I must have missed it.....; 11/1/13, 1:48 PM
Unknown said...: She fancies herself far more than she should. Escort ? Ehh, she sells herself cheap and she is not likely worth that much. Perhaps some sharp eyed fellow will take her to dinner at one of these chic eating establishments and excuse himself to the facilities. Then sneak out the backdoor and leave her to her just desserts.; 11/1/13, 1:49 PM
Rae said...: The only problem I have here is the dishonesty. But it's a mild dishonesty, and I've had a lot of first dates that were dinner, conversation and no followups. So maybe I actually played the part of the man in this scenario.

On the other hand, she may just have killed the goose that laid the golden egg by publicizing this. Who would take her to dinner now?; 11/1/13, 1:59 PM
Rae said...: The only problem I have here is the dishonesty. But it's a mild dishonesty, and I've had a lot of first dates that were dinner, conversation and no followups. So maybe I actually played the part of the man in this scenario.

On the other hand, she may just have killed the goose that laid the golden egg by publicizing this. Who would take her to dinner now?; 11/1/13, 2:00 PM
Craig Landon said...: Another aspiring something who doesn't understand opportunity costs.; 11/1/13, 2:04 PM
Chris said...: Maybe she's just not that interesting to talk with?

A lousy, budget escort.

The only way I can see a date with her being "worth it", is in a poorer-but-wiser sense.; 11/1/13, 2:07 PM
BarrySanders20 said...: Althouse has no sympathy for the nasty bitch or the losers who feed her.

I see them all as sad and pathetic. So I feel pity and yes, a little sympathy for all of them.; 11/1/13, 2:27 PM
Wince said...: Can't find the new credit card commercial with two women in an outdoor cafe. One is bitching her boyfriend only takes her to dinner. The other says he does it only to accumulate extra reward points, before putting her card down to pay for lunch.

As if reward points pay for dinner.; 11/1/13, 2:41 PM
traditionalguy said...: Paying the way for a Traveling Companion for a trip/cruise with for folks over 65 is a valid arrangement.

A companion that is not married to you can still be a good thing if they are intelligent and stylish.; 11/1/13, 3:02 PM
Peter said...: "Personally, I can't imagine spending 2 hours (or whatever) with someone I didn't want to be with just so I could get fed."

Surely the point is not so much that she wants to feed her stomach (in an elegantly expensive way) as she wants to feed her ego- by proving (at least to herself) that she can get men to do this?

Now, it would be more interesting if some ancient crone were to put up a photo of a sweet young thing on that dating site, show up for the date, and then tell us whether any men were chivalrous enough to go through with it?; 11/1/13, 3:05 PM
Alex said...: we need legislation that forces young men to date ancient crones. Fairness and all.; 11/1/13, 3:08 PM
Kirby Olson said...: Many people have second thoughts and continually revise their account of what something was worth. You have to invest time and only later can you evaluate the time spent. Memories are the harvest. If all the memories are meaningless then the time spent was meaningless unless of course you get a better sense of how to spend your time in the future, which is a worthwhile investment overall.

The money wasn't that much.; 11/1/13, 3:15 PM
Paul said...: Well Men exploit women for vitamin 'P' all the times with meals.

How many men have taken women out to dinner just to try to bed them?

Some people, men or women, try to take the other gender for a ride all the time.

Others don't.

So when you date, make sure why you are dating and why they are dating.; 11/1/13, 3:37 PM
David said...: Take her to dinner at a really nice expensive place. Make the reservation in her name. Let her order for both of you. Let her order the wine. At about desert (if you can stand her that long) excuse yourself for a bathroom break.

Do not return.; 11/1/13, 4:05 PM
JoyD said...: Surfed, in your dreams.; 11/1/13, 4:46 PM
Steve said...: What kind of dumb ass doesn't meet for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine before springing for dinner?

Of course the game is rigged, that's why you don't pay much for the first round.; 11/1/13, 5:44 PM
William said...: I mysel am the casting director for a major production company. In the past I've worked with such directors as Spielberg, but no more. The man is too much of a perfectionist. He wants me to cast his next picture, but I'm sure I will live longer if I turn him down. Just now I'm working for Game of Thrones. We're casting for the next season. One role I've had a lot of difficulty filling--the northern witch. What we're looking for is a woman who can play innocence with an undercurrent of guile. There's lots of girls who are as pretty and innocent looking as you but they can't project the guile. And, of course, this being Game of Thrones there can't be any surgical enhancements. And the girl has to be comfortable with nudity. There's lots of nudity in the part. I've found that the only way you can find out if the actress is comfortable with nudity is to have her read her lines naked. But enough about me and my problems. What do you do for a living?...........Suggested first date dinner conversation..; 11/1/13, 6:14 PM
Gospace said...: She's an escort engaging in false advertising. All those reading the article who realize they were taken in by her should file in small claims court for a refund of dinner costs, plus court costs.

Assuming Canada has an equivalent to US small claims. Would make a great Judge Judy show....; 11/1/13, 6:54 PM
Joe said...: "men should feel honored by this open invitation to date me."

Ah, the travails of a narcissist.; 11/1/13, 8:04 PM
Dr Weevil said...: Alex wrote: "we need legislation that forces young men to date ancient crones. Fairness and all".

That's actually part of the plot of Aristophanes' Ecclesazusae or Women in Assembly in which the women of Athens disguise themselves as men, vote themselves into power, and then create a totally communist state with shared property and sexual partners.; 11/2/13, 7:39 AM
Rusty said...: Blogger Ann Althouse said...
Personally, I can't imagine spending 2 hours (or whatever) with someone I didn't want to be with just so I could get fed.

It could be worse.Try doing it for sex.; 11/2/13, 9:51 AM
Trashhauler said...: "On the other hand, if she had been honest...."

That's the point, isn't it? She wasn't honest. People (primarily men) who invite someone to dine aren't normally looking for any specific quid pro quo. But such an invitation is usually an attempt to connect socially and, perhaps, romantically. Clearly, all she was interested in was a meal ticket.

Prostitutes have better ethics.; 11/2/13, 11:46 AM
Jim said...: I'm disappointed at your lack of empathy for men and, frankly, your sense of ethics, Althouse.

No, there is not a quid pro quo in dating, but it is understood that both people are, in good faith, looking for a relationship. She took advantage of that in a dishonest way.; 11/2/13, 4:40 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "No, there is not a quid pro quo in dating, but it is understood that both people are, in good faith, looking for a relationship."

Ridiculous! If that's what you want, communicate that. It is what it is, the dinner that was agreed to.

You guys sound like girls back in the 1950s crying that he "led me on."; 11/4/13, 9:31 PM