১০ অক্টোবর, ২০১২

Millionaire spends $65,000 on 6 matchmakers, goes on 250 dates over 12 years and doesn't find the wife he's looking for.

The NY Post displays Larry Greenfield's pathetic tale of woe:
“I thought he was attractive enough, nice enough. I don’t see why all of these things haven’t worked out,” [said one of the women he deemed inadequate]. “He’s looking for love at first sight, and everyone has imperfections. Talk to someone. Get to know them.

“To find a woman who wants to stay at home and lives in Manhattan, he might be looking in the wrong time period,” Gordon said....

Long Island matchmaker Maureen Tara Nelson — who Greenfield has said failed him — fired back yesterday that one woman she set him up with, and whom he dismissed as “terrible” looking, was too good for him.

“He thinks since he has money that he is entitled to a beautiful woman,” she said.

“He needs to realize beautiful women are beyond his reach.”
And now the Post is acting, essentially, as his new matchmaker, feeding him this self-described "beautiful" woman:
Greenfield has already given the thumbs up on [Kimberly] Brody’s looks and pedigree — though he said she’s at the edge of his age limit.

It doesn’t matter that he’s 47 — and has never had a girlfriend for more than three months.

And that was 12 years ago.

“The age is the thing that gets me,” said Greenfield, who wants a partner young enough to bear his children.
What are Brody's chances? Approximately zero. The man should only go out with women under 35. Either they are willing to go out with him or they are not. Why is he toying with these older ladies and why are they bothering with him? Oh, the answer is so obvious it's not worth the trouble of typing it out, and the Post is giving this man a platform... why? That's obvious too, but I'll bother to type that out: He's fun to kick around.

৭৩টি মন্তব্য:

tiger বলেছেন...

People have rather childish ideas of what love should be and I think a multi-millionaire could have very distorted views.

But 250 dates over 12 years and he couldn't find some one?

I think the problem is with him and not the women; it might be a good idea if the women didn't know he was filthy rich.

rhhardin বলেছেন...

Dogs don't care if you're rich.

Sorun বলেছেন...

Even if he does find that mid-30s wife to bear his children, she'll want a divorce when she hits 40 anyway. Women in their 40s don't want older men, especially if they're difficult. He strikes me as very difficult.

ndspinelli বলেছেন...

rhhardin, Amen!

Scott বলেছেন...

If he's Jewish, he should seek the assistance of a professional match maker.

edutcher বলেছেন...

He needs to stop dating women who subscribe to the Gray Lady.

And Ms.

And The Nation.

Ann Althouse বলেছেন...

"he should seek the assistance of a professional match maker"

Did you read the post title? He hired 6 professional matchmakers.

Beta Rube বলেছেন...

After almost 25 years of single fatherhood, seeing my daughters through college and onto marriage, I stuck a toe (and not much else) into the wonderful world of online dating.

Yikes!!! Glad it didn't cost me 65k to figure things out.

Dust Bunny Queen বলেছেন...

Dogs don't care if you're rich.

Cat's care even less.

Sounds like he is just looking for a brood mare to pop out a couple of kids, a housemaid to keep his home spic and span and a barbie doll that he can trot out attached to his arm when he wants to show off....all rolled into one.

Good luck with that one baldo.

ndspinelli বলেছেন...

I see Meade has finished his chores.

Dust Bunny Queen বলেছেন...

That should be cats not cat's.

sigh.....more coffee

Levi Starks বলেছেন...

That's about one date every 2 weeks, 250 dollars a date. I'd say he's getting his moneys worth.

rcommal বলেছেন...

Sometimes it really is the guy, guys.

Curious George বলেছেন...

Did anyone ever consider he was out to get a lot of poon? Seems like a good way to do it.

traditionalguy বলেছেন...

The rich man can buy what he wants. Any woman who will agree to that is called a golddigger. There is NO shortage of them.

He must not want to spend the money. That's typical.

traditionalguy বলেছেন...

People who live alone past age 40 seldom want to lose the freedom of their independence for a merged life with an intimate spouse.

They just need to live alone in separate houses and visit for overnights and trips.

Baron Zemo বলেছেন...

He should start a blog.

ricpic বলেছেন...

The guy lives on Long Island, right? There are lots of Long Island based Jewish women who would be more than happy to be his loving homebody. The problem is he's being matched with Manhattan have it all types.

ricpic বলেছেন...

The DBQ post at 10:30 is not the DBQ I know (and love). What's with the bitterness, Dust Bunny? I'll put it down to bad coffee beans.

Bender বলেছেন...

What are Brody's chances? Approximately zero.

They will always be approximately zero when one has a mindset that is the antithesis of love -- me, me, me, what can I get out of this? how can I be gratified? -- rather than realizing and accepting the fact that authentic love means making a gift of self, being selfless, not selfish, putting yourself last, not first. That means not demanding that she meet your standards of perfection, but having the humility to admit that you ain't all that yourself, despite all your gazillions of dollars.

The same goes for everyone else. No matter who you meet, no matter who you date, no matter who you consider as a potential spouse, he or she will be imperfect and defective in more ways than you can count, if not at this moment, then at some point in the future. And the same can be said of yourself.

But love means not setting someone against some standard of perfection, but making a choice. Love is a choice. You choose to love the other despite all of the imperfections.

If we were to return to the age of arranged marriages, then any one of those 250 women could have been a good wife. All it takes is the will, the decision to love her, period, rather than love your money and power.

Aridog বলেছেন...

$260 per date in Manhattan? Whoa! Hella deal there....that's almost enough for a meal and drinks.

That, and no way you get a housekeeper to clean up after your arse in NYC or anywhere for $5400 per year.

The dude is delusional.

Wince বলেছেন...

With this very public reveal he's completely undercut his position as far as negotiating a pre-nup.

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

Dust Bunny Queen,

Good luck with that one baldo.

Yep - that guy's problem:

He's a creep.

Shit, rich and poor ugly guys catch girls (or kick 'em to the curb) all-the-time, no "matchmaker" necessary.

He should spend some of his fortune on someone who can teach him social skills.

I'd have that loser hooked up in no time,...

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

Conversation I had with a stunner last night:

Stunner: "So, are you single?"

Me: "Yep."

Stunner (mischievously): "Single to mingle?"

Me: "Nope."

Stunner (incredulously): "Just,...single?"

Me (laughing to myself): "Yep."

jungatheart বলেছেন...

Jews are known for their humor; this guy appears humorless. Yuck.

নামহীন বলেছেন...

He should have included "must be GOP" in the search...they would have been flying out of the woods to marry him. Everyone loves a rich guy.

jimbino বলেছেন...

Love, friendship, companionship, cohabitation, copulating and breeding are altogether independent things.

He should pay some young thing to carry his child and then look for companionship with a woman his age.

Cohabitation is not necessary: better to live alone or find a male roommate who can play chess.

Love is evanescent.

Good friendship and companionship are the hardest to find, especially if you are looking for them in a woman.

ndspinelli বলেছেন...

Maybe Inga fka: Allie Oops/Allie should give it a shot. This guy seems kooky.

নামহীন বলেছেন...

I saw this guy's picture on another internet site and (for whatever visceral reason) was so creeped out I didn't even click on the article. Same with this. I can't actually read it. I wish I hadn't read the little you quoted. It goes beyond regular opinion and POV. It's a seriously creepy vibe.

Baron Zemo বলেছেন...

But Crackie when that girl said "Hey do you want a date" it doesn't mean what you think it means.

Mormon......Boo!!!

ndspinelli বলেছেন...

Baron knows, he's paid for many dates on the front seat of his 1972Dodge Dart.

Crunchy Frog বলেছেন...

Zemo - stop trolling.

Baron Zemo বলেছেন...

That's rich Crunchy!

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,!!!!!

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

Baron Zemo,

But Crackie when that girl said "Hey do you want a date" it doesn't mean what you think it means.

The answer would still be the same - "Nope."

Mormon......Boo!!!

Hey, buddy, we'll see how you talk if you get what you're hoping for:

Mormon......Boo!!!

নামহীন বলেছেন...

I think he should give up on the matchmakers, have some faith, and just get out there and meet real women face to face.

NotWhoIUsedtoBe বলেছেন...

People choose the lives they think they deserve.

I ignore what people say and look at what people do. If someone is 47 and not married they don't want to get married. Sure, there are exceptions like gross physical deformity but that's not the case here. Ignore the money. Poor people get married.

People who want to get married get married. It's not that hard. Cynics will say that the hard part is getting unmarried.

I think the Times is writing this story to avoid writing yet another story about older women who "can't find anyone." I guess finding the one man in New York with the same problem would make all those women feel better.

Baron Zemo বলেছেন...

Thank you Crackie.

No hard feelings.

But as a Scientologist I was ordered to follow you around and make fun of you until I made you crazy.

I need to reach the fifth level so I can get those really cool massages that John Travolta gets.

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

Rustling Leaves,

I think he should give up on the matchmakers, have some faith, and just get out there and meet real women face to face.

He can't - he's a loser. His friends are probably losers, too. People who won't tell him what a creep he is, even in a joking/hazing manner. He's a coward, isolated from the truth - and they're too big of pussies to give it to him. Probably because they want his money. He's doomed.

My friends and I call each other up:

"I'm thirsty, bitch."

"Must be nice to want things."

"You're buying."

"I bought your mother last night."

"Don't be late."

"I came quick - see you in a minute."

This chump's got no skills,...

Dust Bunny Queen বলেছেন...

The issue I have with this 'story' is that the man seems to think that because he is wealthy, he should be able to pick out a wife/mother to his children as if he were browsing through a candy store or Baskin Robins. All the onus to perform is on the female candidates.

Can they breed?? He has a checklist. But Greenfield said he’s still looking for a woman who can give him his dream — a dog, two kids, a white-picket fence — and that means the woman has to be able to have children.

“One of these days, ask your doctor. Ask when you can have children as a woman,” Greenfield said. “If they’re capable of having children, mid-30s.”


He wants to buy a wife without..it sounds like he wants to give anything of himself. All the work is on one side. That isn't how a relationship works. Not one you want keep and treasure, anyway.

Now, if a woman wants to be bought that's another thing entirely. They make a devil's bargain.

On line dating, CAN work BTW. We have some close friends who met through E-harmony. Her from California. He from Virginia. They have been married now for 7 years. They met on line when they were both in their late 50's. They seem quite happy and content with each other.

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

Baron Zemo,

I need to reach the fifth level so I can get those really cool massages that John Travolta gets.

Yeah, I can hear 'em now:

"Baron, stay on the down-low,..."

Methadras বলেছেন...

He kept saying the chemistry wasn't right. Buddy, in some chemical experiments, they take time to catalyze and get a result. You became a millionaire by being a pain in the ass, don't be one looking for a date, a girlfriend, a fiance, and then a wife who will, as you hope become the mother of your children.

Methadras বলেছেন...

The Crack Emcee said...

Conversation I had with a stunner last night:

Stunner: "So, are you single?"

Me: "Yep."

Stunner (mischievously): "Single to mingle?"

Me: "Nope."

Stunner (incredulously): "Just,...single?"

Me (laughing to myself): "Yep."


Pics or it didn't happen. :D

Methadras বলেছেন...

Baron Zemo said...

Thank you Crackie.

No hard feelings.

But as a Scientologist I was ordered to follow you around and make fun of you until I made you crazy.

I need to reach the fifth level so I can get those really cool massages that John Travolta gets.


ROFL, 5th level. Hey, will you get a happy ending like Travolta did too?

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

Dust Bunny Queen,

The issue I have with this 'story' is that the man seems to think that because he is wealthy, he should be able to pick out a wife/mother to his children as if he were browsing through a candy store or Baskin Robins. All the onus to perform is on the female candidates.

I've seen that "work" in Europe all the time. Old money'd ogres with model-status women, making heads turn because he's so gross, covered in warts, and she's so beautiful butterflies gather.

The opposite was while I was in the navy - places like the Philippines, where desperation is an aphrodisiac, making homely American men think they're gods because they can trade an old, worn out pair of boots for 30 pesos to buy a night on the town - woman included. Disgusting.

This guy's just lame.

Baron Zemo বলেছেন...

Thanks Crackie.

If anybody knows how to operate on the down low it is you my Dear Fellow.

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

Baron Zemo,

Thanks Crackie.

If anybody knows how to operate on the down low it is you my Dear Fellow.


This is true - the first thing you do is get a pair of purple tights,...

Baron Zemo বলেছেন...

Or a rap that women are all evil bitches and that you don't need them.

Because you are above all that.

Your con is working for you brotherman.

Blessings.

Charlie Martin বলেছেন...

Buy what appreciates, rent what depreciates.

ricpic বলেছেন...

DBQ, I wouldn't at all be surprised if this guy's secret fear is that he would begin to bore an A-type go getter in no time flat. Of course I could be wrong, but how does the dream of a white picket fence and an attractive child bearing wife inside that fence make him selfish? What would he bring to the marriage? Aside from the obvious (money), since he doesn't seem the adventurous type he might make a great companion, a homebody husband. The problem there is that she might feel she couldn't breath. Are you sure you're not being harsh on the guy because he's not a looker? Okay, the above is pure speculation and you don't have to answer. But I still think your being a bit harsh on the guy.

Nomennovum বলেছেন...

What kind of jackass would go to a woman to get set up with other women? And actually pay her to do this???

In my experience, women matchmakers (unpaid friends in my case) always set you up with someone ... less desirable. Paying a "professional" will make no difference.

Women are simply too competitive sexually to do this. It's hard-wiring, you know.

Bender বলেছেন...

Part of it, to be fair, is a legitimate concern of an insincere golddigger, which can be minimized only to a certain extent by a pre-nup, but which itself, by its very nature, displays a high level of distrust, sowing the seeds for later dissolution.

Another concern, less legitimate but nevertheless real, is the social pressure to marry within class and, to a related extent, to marry someone attractive, someone that you can show-off at social gatherings so that the social big-wigs do not think you a loser for not getting something "better."

If he is willing to say "screw you" to "society," and content himself with a middle-class wife with a middle-class lifestyle, having the same kind of life that the schlubs have, not having to show off the Robin Leach lifestyle, then he would have a better chance.

David বলেছেন...

So Crack you learned how to resist the stunners? That's not easy. I never really got the hang of it. Now, if I were single and looking, they would resist me.

Or maybe she wasn't an actual stunner. Your standards may have gotten higher. Stunners stun, making you defenseless. Beware. There is probably still someone out there who could still stun you.

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

ricpic,

Are you sure you're not being harsh on the guy because he's not a looker?

Please.

Sometimes a picture says a thousand words:

He's a loser.

Bender বলেছেন...

On marrying a looker by society standards -- I have to say, however, that at least based on the women who inhabit the Housewives and related reality TV shows, they have some strange concept of female beauty.

jungatheart বলেছেন...

http://www.youtube.
com/watch?feature=player_
detailpage&v=
ZP3rM8P-DCQ#t=104s

cubanbob বলেছেন...

The problem with looking for the perfect mate is unless you are equally perfect, whats in it for the mate?

Some homely guys do get lucky and marry the super beauty but that is usually because they have something going for them that attracts the woman. But if money is your main calling card then understand that you are renting, not buying and be realistic about that. A 47 year old guy that has never married is a guy that really doesn't want to get married but is trying to score a long term girlfriend. Nothing wrong with that but be honest with the woman. Maybe that is all she really wants as well, especially if she has already been married, divorced and is on her own. But a 47 year old guy looking to find a hot early thirties wife that will pop him a few kids, that isn't gonna happen unless you are some really good looking hollywood type. As Clint once said "a man has got to know his limitations".

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

David,

So Crack you learned how to resist the stunners? That's not easy. I never really got the hang of it.

I'm post-divorce AND post-murder, dude. If it's a woman, good-looking or not, my defenses are up - period. I'm talking about a fucking fortress, with a mile-high wall, an iron gate, a moat, alligators in the moat, and archers with cannon over-seeing the whole operation.

Now, if I were single and looking, they would resist me.

Oh, most women pay me no mind, or give me the usual sneers that women subtly shoot to most men. (I've actually learned to like that because it reinforces my view they're evil harpies, not worth my time. Makes it easy to resist them when they discover I'm a more interesting human being than they are, which is 99.9% of the time.) I'm just this-side of handsome - pretty conventional looking - and I don't work at it, so it's only when we have a chance to talk that they perk up and go, "Wait a minute,..."

Or maybe she wasn't an actual stunner. Your standards may have gotten higher. Stunners stun, making you defenseless. Beware. There is probably still someone out there who could still stun you.

Nah. My one and only girlfriend since my divorce was Sade with a big ol' butt - easily an "8" or "9" - and I kicked her to the curb. See, here's the thing:

I don't care what they look like.

I've had several friends tell me my wife was a dog, which wasn't the point - I loved her, and that was all that mattered to me. (And no, their assessments haven't bothered me - a common question - she's gone, and did so many wrongs I can barely calculate them, so what do I care?)

Since then, I've had lots of shots at beautiful women, but all I have to do is A) picture them with a sneer on their faces, and B) remember how women "think" (generally - what they're casually capable of, like killing their kids to the point of insisting it be an industry) and there's not a chance in Hell I'll fall for their concept of "love" ever again.

I've got my own now, and I ain't budging,...

Nomennovum বলেছেন...

Since then, I've had lots of shots at beautiful women, but all I have to do is A) picture them with a sneer on their faces, and B) remember how women "think" (generally - what they're casually capable of, like killing their kids to the point of insisting it be an industry) and there's not a chance in Hell I'll fall for their concept of "love" ever again. - Crack

Love? You don't need love to mingle with the critters.

cubanbob বলেছেন...

Crack I don't know how old you are and how long ago your tragedy occurred but long term, is that how you want to spend the rest of your life?

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

cubanbob,

Crack I don't know how old you are and how long ago your tragedy occurred but long term, is that how you want to spend the rest of your life?

Sure, why not? You have to remember, starting off in the foster care system, this life has shown me no favors - I came into it alone and I'll probably die alone, as most people do, as most animals do (unless they're killed) and I can amuse myself until then.

Not to mention, I have talents - things I do that draw people to me - so there's actually no shortage of potential mates, just those that qualify. I mean, I'm the only black conservative atheist musician with a cult fetish on this blog - what are the odds of me finding anyone who will see the world like I do?

Slim-to-none.

No biggie. I keep telling you:

I was born to live in reality - and it's harsh - so acceptance of man's foibles, without getting caught in them, all I've got left.

Death - reality's crowning glory - will be an embrace.



Baron Zemo বলেছেন...

Yo, you do have mad skills son.

But it just doesn't seem to be working out for you my brother.

Maybe you should try something different.

How about tap dancing?

Balfegor বলেছেন...

His criteria:

thin, attractive, Jewish, smart, sense of humor, from New York and, most important, not an “alpha” woman.

Are the problem. "From New York" (I assume he means NYC) really narrows the pool to an extraordinary extent. There's only 8 million people living there -- 19 million if you expand to the "metropolitan area." Of them, about 1.5 million are Jewish. So about 750,000 females. If you adjust for the age band he's looking at (he needs someone who can safely bear children, but the youngest age ranges are probably impossible for him), and exclude the people who are already married, he's dealing with an rather small pool of unmarried females between 35 and 45. Assuming the demographic profile of the Jewish population is comparable to the demographic profile of NYC as a whole, ~8% of the population is between 35-44 years, leaving him with maybe 60,000 candidates. Of those, a bit over half are married right now (again, assuming Jewish marriage rates for that age band mirror the overall population), leaving him with ~30,000. "Thin," "attractive," and all the other junk narrow it down further (especially "not an alpha woman," given the abrasive personalities common in that city). I can't quantify, but let's just make up numbers: that leaves him with what, maybe 5,000 candidates at the most? 1,000? And then of them, how many are accessible to his matchmakers? Probably only a tiny fraction. He's probably already dated a substantial fraction of the potential candidates meeting his criteria without even getting into the question of whether any of them would be willing to marry him.

The Crack Emcee বলেছেন...

Baron Zemo,

Yo, you do have mad skills son.

But it just doesn't seem to be working out for you my brother.

Maybe you should try something different.

How about tap dancing?


Now THAT'S FUNNY!

Of course, it could get you killed where I come from, but I still think it's funny.

And keep calling me "son" - makes me feel wanted,...

wyo sis বলেছেন...

It's always entertaining to watch old guys wait for Cinderella to appear. They never seem to realize Cinderella's looking for a prince.

Julie C বলেছেন...

From the article: "He needs to realize that beautiful women are beyond his reach."

Ouch!

Peter বলেছেন...

Well if I were a rich single man and hired an expensive matchmaker, I'd have one absolutely non-negotiable requirement for every woman with whom I was matched.

You all know what that would be.

Baron Zemo বলেছেন...

I don't know about that Pete.

There is a reason they call it "trim."

Aridog বলেছেন...

Crack ....reality's crowning glory

Damn you, man...from that clip I just spent an hour wandering around YouTube winding up at "Burn the Floor" version of " Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy " & "Sing, Sing, Sing" and finishing with Fosse's "Sing, Sing, Sing". I always seem to wind up chasing Sing Sing Sing. I hope they play it at my funeral.

bagoh20 বলেছেন...

All that stuff Crack said about being single goes for me too. Thanks for handling it, son. If I ever do find that rare woman worth the risk, I'll send her your way, cause I still ain't jumping.

I don't understand this idea that dying alone is some terrible end. It's probably the most common by far, especially among those lucky enough to live a long time. Nobody really wants to be there anyway, in fact I may not even show up for my own death. I know I'll have too much stuff to do that day.

Synova বলেছেন...

He's not a looker, but I think he's pretty normal looking. Not for TV but for real life most people are pretty homely.

"People who live alone past age 40 seldom want to lose the freedom of their independence for a merged life with an intimate spouse."

Best to marry when you're young and foolish or no one would ever do it. Well, nearly no one. If something happened to my husband I don't think I'd do it again. Too much work.

"They just need to live alone in separate houses and visit for overnights and trips."

Now this isn't a half bad idea. He could even work kids into that if it was done right. Or he could hire a surrogate and get some donated eggs certified Ivy co-ed and hire a nanny.

নামহীন বলেছেন...

I've got it. MONICA LEWINSKY!

She's a jewish, bicoastal New Yorker; you have to have some brains to make it through the London School of Economics - it only seems like she's an idiot because she is NOT ALPHA - another requirement.

She needs money, apparently, and likes older guys - though he's not that much older for her. If you discount the weight issue, she's really pretty.

So we're left with the weight problem and the Creep/lack of charisma factor on his part. Maybe that could be taken care of in the prenup so they could reproduce right away with all that extra estrogen that extra weight brings - with full in perpetuity support conditional on post-pregnancy weight loss. (If she get a stomach ring to lose weight fast, it messes up the pregnancy.)

Is anyone grossing out at the coldness and calculation? The lack of a loving human touch? Well, there you go. I agree.

And anyway... Neither of them would settle.

rcommal বলেছেন...

Relative to my age cohort, I married for the first (and only) time relatively late, in my mid-30s, and I had my one and only child (I would liked to have more; that's just not how life worked at out) at 39. I'm also still married and we're still raising our son together, in a shared home and life, rockiness on occasions notwithstanding. Perhaps that is weird, but the other thing is that--even weirder--I would marry my husband again. Or--if, God Forbid! that was not on offer again--someone very much like him.

Call me crazy: **shrug**.

; /

cortyman বলেছেন...

I love reading all this banter, but I believe most commenter's perspectives are off. They miss the key points. Each of us must first decide why we need or want to be in relationships in the first place. Is it companionship? Is it sex and stress relief? Activity partner? friend with benefits? Soul-mate? Social appearances? Intimate maid? Another parent for your children? Intimate business partner? These questions must be answered first. As one commenter said, most people are probably better off with activity partners and FWBs with separate residences. Is there a person that can meet all these requirements for a committed relationship? Absolutely not! Most women either believe they must go without what their partner doesn't have (asceticism and stoicism) or they must go without partners altogether (all or none). Men, on the other hand, try to have it all by pledging monogamy, but going through life with multiple partners, some of them virtual. We are plagued by a society in which people have too many choices. This is fine if you’re good at making choices. Most are not. Love maximizers abound. Men know that few modern western women have what they want. They are female, but hardly women. This is why men and women can't get together - the women have changed too much and the men are truer to their evolutionary history. Why limit one’s self to spoiled, jaded, and confused western women? If western men want more traditional or better balanced women, they must look abroad. There you can find smart, educated, successful, but domestically traditional women who are more fatalistic and philosophical about the roles of men and women. There is a natural hierarchy in all human relationships, and they know where they stand. Bottom-line: They know that you are a man and they women, and that true equality makes close relationships challenging.