१५ मार्च, २०१२

"I will not make you a slave, you will live in my 200 story castle where unicorn servants will feed you doughnuts off their horns."

You are "'more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out of bacon riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber for the horn on the tip of a space shuttle closing in on Mars, while engulfed in flames."

३९ टिप्पण्या:

markbres म्हणाले...

How romantic

Revenant म्हणाले...

That's pretty awesome.

Scott M म्हणाले...

The tragedy, of course, is that the student who wrote it, "Flint", is probably an English 101 freshman.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

I think it's a real kid, because of the flaws: the repetition of the unicorn and the slaves are bad/servants are excellent combo.

Scott M म्हणाले...

The general tone and the mention of donuts made me think it was possibly a Simpsons quote at first.

Expat(ish) म्हणाले...

Mangarific.

-XC

Carnifex म्हणाले...

Why are phallic abundant unicorns a favorite of young girls, but not homosexual men? Is it their affinity for virgins?

I saw "bacon in a can" on a prepper site the other day. I consider spam a suitable substitute though.

And monkeys. Who can resist monkeys? Not I.

Ps. the problem with unicorns is their rampant carnivorous nature. Bloody things.

MayBee म्हणाले...

Is this written somewhere else, or just something Althouse felt like saying?
Or is the link only invisible to me?

Scott M म्हणाले...

Or is the link only invisible to me?

No link provided, but I just copy/pasted the whole thing into Google. With something that specific, the sources are usually narrowed down quite a bit.

edutcher म्हणाले...

Slaves aren't usually that well-treated.

Nathan म्हणाले...

This.

Is why Al Gore invented the internet.

Standing slow clap for Flint.

Bob Ellison म्हणाले...

Without the external link, I must assume that the Professor is addressing her readers. 'Scuse me while I don my bacon tails.

Unknown म्हणाले...

This sounds like the Bloggess, @thebloggess, thebloggess.com, or someone who has been influences by her.

lemondog म्हणाले...

A link showing a picture with handwritten letter.

I assume that it is legit.

Lyssa म्हणाले...

Since I read the post above first, I was very much hoping that this is something that Blago said, for some reason known only to him, upon hearing his sentence.

Michael Haz म्हणाले...

Is this another bondage post? Woo hoo!

Jim S. म्हणाले...

See, I thought it was Charlie Sheen off on a rant again.

Bob म्हणाले...

I thought at first that those were Obama For President 2012 campaign promises. Then I realized that they were too modest for Obama to have made them.

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

But will she get free contraceptives delivered by horny unicorns?

The latest word is that GOP Unicorns are at war with pubescent princesses.

I give up, is this Mormon doctrine?

Lem Vibe Bandit म्हणाले...

lol,,

That's pretty good Bob.

Synova म्हणाले...

Oh, that is cute!

What a great response to the assigned, involuntary, thank-you note.

rosebud म्हणाले...

That's so sweet. Now the other fourth graders have ammo to humiliate Flint.

KCFleming म्हणाले...

A terrific response.

rhhardin म्हणाले...

The unicorn ate it gravely.

Rusty म्हणाले...

And monkeys. Who can resist monkeys? Not I.


Ah.
One of the top two secrets of comedy.Put a monkey in it, it's guaranteed to get a laugh. The other secret?
A guy getting hit in the nuts...............by a monkey.

Scott M म्हणाले...

That's so sweet. Now the other fourth graders have ammo to humiliate Flint.

LOL...you know you're a hopeless cynic when...

The unicorn ate it gravely.

Are unicorn slaughterhouses filthy?

Methadras म्हणाले...

This sounds more like a Bad Lip Reading.

ricpic म्हणाले...

Who can resist monkeys? Not I.

Well I sure can. Monkeys and clowns are right up there in the top rank of the utterly resistible.

Synova म्हणाले...

You never can tell with kids. Flint could be considered a hero... or be teased mercilessly... depending on how annoyed his classmates were about having to write thank-you notes.

Synova म्हणाले...

OTOH, he might be sent to the school child-development psych person to discover if he has dangerous delusions of grandeur.

Too much creativity is a threat, after all.

अनामित म्हणाले...

Sounds like hallucinogens are being consumed at the Althouse/Meade household.

Mary Beth म्हणाले...

Albert Ramon must be the most awesome man ever.

paul a'barge म्हणाले...

Links are helpful:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2115269/More-awesome-monkey-bacon-tuxedo--childs-letter-goes-viral.html

Blue@9 म्हणाले...

This may be one of the best things I've ever read. Monkeys, unicorns, donuts, bacon, and lightsabers? It just needs some laser-packing alien pirahnas and it'd be perfect.

Carnifex म्हणाले...

@ricpic

I understand your hesitancy about clowns...dead white faces, giant mouths painted blood red, crazy hair, and clothes...

But MONKEYS? C'mon man, reconsider. Just think about how they sit on their asses all day, masturbating, and throwing shit on each other, If that isn't proof that they're our ancestors I don't know what is.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"Is this written somewhere else, or just something Althouse felt like saying?
Or is the link only invisible to me?"

LOL.

Sorry.

Fixed.

ken in tx म्हणाले...

I think this is a hoax. It is too close to the story-line of the 'Big Nate' comic on the Washington Post website. Review this week's comics and see if you don't agree.

ErnieG म्हणाले...

He has a great future writing text for the Teleprompter.

Synova म्हणाले...

Ken, that only makes it a hoax if the kid never saw Big Nate or the number of similar stories for kids.

It's not a *hoax* if Flint was writing a Big Nate thank you.