[Weiner] is a very busy man.... He exists under a constant pressure cooker of self-analysis and public appraisal. Like other politicians, he needs something to take the edge off. For some people, regardless of occupation, that could mean booze, drugs, gambling, food or shopping. For high functioning men like Weiner and other officials who have lived through such scandals, who are constantly on the go, that leaves one tried and true source of a reliable high. The affirmation that comes when someone lets you know they want to sleep with you. Or even cyber-sleep with you.It's so sad, isn't it? Baldwin feels sorry for Weiner... and for the modern man.
This is sex for many people now.... No time for slowly moving toward one another with a combination of hope and caution, lust and integrity. One can push a button and get something beyond porn. Porn is essentially two dimensional. One sees and hears. Internet sexting can be perceived as three dimensional by adding the component of "feel", regardless of how cheap and unearned those feelings are. That person on the screen is doing whatever they're doing... just for you.....
We tell ourselves that these devices help us communicate more effectively. What they actually do is allow us to bypass the person lying right next to us, across the room from us or at an airport heading home to us, in order to meet our immediate, even inconvenient, needs. To bypass their moods, their current view of us and their own desires, or lack thereof.
June 9, 2011
"Weiner is the modern, high functioning man."
Writes Alec Baldwin:
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92 comments:
Yee Gawd. I've avoided this conversation because I cannot, no matter how hard I try, grasp how any normal man could possibly believe that his purple headed one eyed mouse was, by itself, something any normal woman would find amazing.
What can he be thinking as he focuses his camera or cell phone on his crotch, covered or uncovered, as an object of fascination for anyone, save himself, apparently. And man, I tell you, I want no more details.
Alec Baldwin? Pulleeze.
Even Antony Weiner would be embarrassed to make such an excuse. Weiner may be the bottom of the barrel, but Baldwin is among the invertebrates that live under the barrel.
What is a modern, high functioning man??
Is he empowered by his boner?
oh, wait!....Boner is a republican! Oh, god! It's all so confusing!!
bbner s/b bbbbboner
He's got a throughly modern willie?
Hmmm...apparently, I need new reading glasses, and to clean the screen on the laptop.
Doesn't Baldwin want to run for Mayor of NYC or something? He sounds like he's kissing up to The Weiener's supporters.
I don't know: is Baldwin making a kind of crypto-Catholic appeal against alienation? Some of the language sounds like an indictment of postmodern ennui, including evoking the irritable failure to compromise with a spouse/loved one's moods. He partly sounds like a haunted moralist urging us (himself?) to shake free of these cyberpornographic shakles and deal honestly and honorable with the real people who love us and aren't going to be sexbots for us.
Partly he just sounds like he's reveling in the superiority of Democratic alpha males, which is problematic to say the least-- and how Rep. Weiner classifies as a 'high functioning' human being is especially dubious.
I mean, Bill Clinton had the Office. Whatever you think of the man, his pizza-eating, Congressman-negotiating,and bj-receiving was going on in the context of making decisions that matter.
Weiner-- all he has to decide is how sweeping his denials are going to be [default setting: absolute].
The horror is imagining if high-functioning Weiner got to be NYC mayor-- a real job-- and then some calamity struck. He'd explode in a billion pieces.
Bloomberg should lose the office, but at least his monomania holds him together. He'd make sure the survivors of a nuclear assault aren't eating any Oreos during their recovery.
Who is he talking about?
This isn't entirely unlike what Walker Percy talks about, how artists find ways of grounding themselves, often through illicit, very human, actions.
But, artists are artists, while some people just are creepy.
Reading Baldwin's screed, I kept thinking of those kitschy 1960's TV commercials hocking products for Today's Go-Get-Em Family. Something like:
"Night on the town not moving your moxie? Has Mrs. Jones left you out in the cold? Join the ranks of Today's Modern Man with Twitter Brand Bulge Shots. In just seconds you'll be sending young girls everywhere to the moon with digitized photographs of your junk! Your chest! Try a photo of your penis for a visual treat that will have those indiscreet young ladies saying, "You can Tweet me any time." *wink* The sky's the limit with Twitter Brand Bulge Shots."
Etc etc
Chip FTW.
--Reading it in full I have to backtrack on the 'revel.' Mostly Baldwin sounds mournful.
His essay reads well, for what it's worth. A bit hard to pin to his public persona without suspecting a bit of a self-conscious dramatic (righteous?) flourish, but thoughtful.
It may be the final paragraph conceals a stiletto thrust. He invokes the district. That implies Weiner's constituents should punish him.
That too may be cunning craft on Mayor Baldwin's part, though.
First of all, most humans masturbate. And, yes. Even married people.
The worst thing a married man can do is bring his money to a whore house. Weiner didn't do that.
More surprising, Weiner just didn't open up Playboy Magazine.
And, Weiner trusted his cell phone. (My mom used to keep a whistle by the phone. Just in case someone called, and only did heavy breathing.) But that was then.
Today? Teenagers don't save their emails or their cell phone messages! They sure don't want their parents prowling in. It's like an unlocked diary. You just don't write your thoughts in it. And, you don't text someone else, with a picture of a man's penis.)
Who saved this stuff? A porn artist in Las Vegas! Heck, first she went to Maddow. Who was constantly having Weiner on her show! Couldn't make a sale.
Weiner is a putz.
Now he knows the "wrong kind of woman" saves text messages. (Just like Monica "saved" the Blue gap Dress.)
Wardrobes can be political killers.
While on the other hand, you tell me, taking a picture of your pole, while it's robed in your underwear is sexy? That makes sense?
If it was "sexy" Hefner would have run with this picture inside his centerfold.
The slut screws weiner. He probably thought his ears were getting a gift he didn't have to pay for.
Rectitude. I guess that just a antique word now, something to be heard on the lips of the strolling minstrel down at the Renaissance Faire.
wv: giasi -- (adj) an Italian word describing music with syncopation and back beat.
He exists under a constant pressure cooker of self-analysis...
Stopped reading at this point.
"OF THEE I SING." Look it up at Amazon. It's a George Kaufman Broadway musical, from back in the early 1930's. It tells the story of a creepy politician. Who becomes president. It ends, as he's about to be impeached. And, his wife runs into Congress to tell everyone she's pregnant.
What an old punchline.
I noticed Alec made not one mention of the lying, the claims of victimhood, the completely ridiculous (now that we know it was Der Weinerr and only Der Weinerr) claims of persecution.
I wonder what Mr. Baldwin, you know, that guy that's a helluva actor, a pretty damned funny comic by his own right, and really piss-poor leaver of fatherly voicemails has to say about all the confirmed super bad things the high-functioning male in question did.
Curious as well. There are a shitload of other "high-functioning" males in Congress. While I don't doubt they all have skeletons, they're not cratering as badly as Der Weinerr. The only thing keeping a lid on the cesspool is making sure the completely egregious examples are dealt with as harshly as possible, regardless of isle side.
I can envision a surrealist sitcom where New Yorkers have to choose between these two for the mayor of the city. But that's too absurd, no one could believe it.
wv: dicider. One of them would have to be the dicider.
Baldwin seems to think that because he's lived such a life of leisure that any kind of pampered position that comes with power must be stressful.
The man is a congressman. He has staff and privilege and franking privileges too. He has very little stress compared to the guy who works in a factory who has a wife and kids he's trying to feed and a boss who nags him.
Screw Baldwin and his moronic crowd.
Ginger Lee is a porn star. She exchanged hundreds of lewd tweets with Rep. Weiner. I am not familiar with Ms. Lee's body of work, and I do not wish to malign her unfairly. However, the fact remains that for a few hundred dollars more, porn stars are willing to lick every hair on Ron Jeremy's body and then swallow his load. This is a profession that puts money above most concepts of propriety......Ms. Lee has not released her tweets with Weiner. Perhaps she is a high minded woman who does not wish to imperil Weiner's legislative agenda by any further indescretion. Perhaps she is presently negotiating for a higher price with the National Enquirer. It doesn't matter. The salient fact is that Weiner entrusted his career and reputation into the hands of a stranger whom a rational person would have every reason to distrust.....Weiner's fall from grace is by no means an accident. There is a part of him that was almost consciously plotting this denouement. The sex tweets were not the release. All this publicity is. World, you have just been flashed.
Apparently another traight of modern, high functioning men is leaving a voice mail to your daughter telling her what a stupid piece of shit she is. Like her mother. And not remembering how old she is.
What an asshole. And leaving a voicemail that can be made public...so Weiner-like!
http://tinyurl.com/b8nxt5
Baldwin is an idiot and this essay was penned by a juvenile mind.
Alec Baldwin, 1965: "Short skirt. She had it coming"
The whole article seems almost coherent if you imagine it being read aloud by Jack Donaghy.
This was supposed to be funny, right?
Who cares what he thinks, anyway. He's a performer, not a thinker.
This stupidity is Exh. A.
You're either part of the laughter or part of the farce. Baldwin is part of the farce.
Okay. But if there was a pole. I mean a poll. And, it dealt with who felt sorry for weiner ... you think there would be lots of people saying they felt sorry?
I don't think so.
Most people who think weiner was an idiot. And, anybody who promises you sexual satisfaction for free, is lying.
Meanwhile, there was once a Burns & Allen skit. Gracie came out and said she was glad George had an affair.
George felt so terrible, afterwards, he bought her a beautiful diamond ring. And, now, she just saw earings to match.
Comedy gold never loses its luster.
I actually agree with Baldwin.
How many non-famous politicians, artists etc are sending out nude pics over the internet tonight?
I would guess millions.
So really Weiner is just one of us.
That was so deep.
Thank you.
When I was in my 20's I used to call phone sex lines. It was fast and cheap because I knew someone the guy that run all of them in Boston and got a "free code number". There were thousands of such numbers on the back of the alternative newspaper in Boston in the 90's-before the internet. They were "550" numbers. There was a 550 number for every type. The guy who ran them in Boston, who is a republican and gay, made millions from them.
"Modern" maybe.
High functioning?
Not so much.
Only an idiot and/or someone with a problematical DSM-IV diagnosis would do what he did.
And we don't know the half of it, is my guess.
What 47 year old successful (so Baldwin implies) man takes pictures of his underwear covered hard on and his naked pee pee and sends them to people he has no idea who they are.
And who is Alec Baldwin? Was he president of something?
Back then sometimes they would dump your phone call in with a huge pool of callers. So you would hear two guys talking dirty, while hearing two guys getting directions to where they were going to meet for sex and two guys beginning their conversation. You really had to listen for your special someone and learn to talk over and around the other conversations taking place. Thankfully they worked out the initial kinks and you could go "private".
It was really hilarious yet so very sad.
"What 47 year old successful (so Baldwin implies) man takes pictures of his underwear covered hard on and his naked pee pee and sends them to people he has no idea who they are."
My guess is lots and lots of people.
All the moral insight of the Twinkie Defense, combined with all the coherence of the Chewbacca Defense.
Titus.
Truth be known?
That's too bad. ("lots and lots")
In the "succesful" category I include more character qualities than than making and/or raising money and pushing people around.
Honest relationships like one would hope a marriage to be are difficult to build when the other person thinks nothing of spreading his/her shared personal views around to somewhat random audiences for the hell of it.
What were those vows His Holiness Bill Clinton led this couple through lasy year?
Yelling at your child on the phone because she hates you -- another thing high functioning Anthony can look forward to?
" There is a part of him that was almost consciously plotting this denouement. The sex tweets were not the release. All this publicity is. World, you have just been flashed."
Makes sense.
Alec Baldwin translated: Been there, Done that.
Wait till Weiner starts leaving voice messages for his kid.
What an asshole. And leaving a voicemail that can be made public...so Weiner-like!
That's one reason Baldwin is so sympathetic to Weiner (the other is they have identical politics)--they have both hugely embarrassed themselves by leaving audio/visual proof of their poor judgement.
"the affirmation that comes when someone lets you know they want to sleep with you."
God damn Alec! You be a frickin' greasy arm chair psychologist. I would've thought the wife he impregnated would have sufficed. Me so simple. But I loved your NPR pledge drive attempt to make me donate. Great delivery. but I sensed my tax dollars went to some public sector unionista script writer so I declined.
Oh..and for Quagmire-esque Weiner...DIGGITY! (It's only a metter opf time before folks make this glorious connection.)
(Alec got me so excited I lost my ability to spell)
DIGGITY!!
But I am so glad he errr..came..forth before a Weiner load of cash was spent investigating federal level hacking.
Bien sur...
DIGGITY!
I have opined in the past on many occasions that Alec Baldwin is a complete idiot.
Mr. Baldwin supplied more supporting evidence with this tome on Penisaur.
Wasn't he going to leave the country?
And is there anything we can do to accelerate his departure?
There isn't anything special or sympathetic about Weiner's behavior. It's pure narcissism, nothing more. Sadly, it seems like we selectively breed our politicians for just this sort of self-absorption. Blame the tech if you want, but without it Weiner probably would have gone out and gotten actual sex (if he hasn't already) from someone other than his wife.
Honestly, it sounds like Alec is making an excuse for his own behavior (as, apparently, another "high functioning man") than any defense of Weiner. My first thought on reading this tripe is, "This is just battlefield-prep for when his own shady sex secrets come out into the open."
[Weiner] is a very busy man.... He exists under a constant pressure cooker of self-analysis and public appraisal.[And need I mention that all you Republicans want to do is kill Big Bird? The end.]
Guys like Baldwin and Weiner are the best arguments I've heard yet for confiscatory taxes on rich people. If they had to live in a world where they experience the normal consequences for their behavior - just like the rest of us - their entire world view would change.
Take away all their money and/or power and let them sit in a cell wearing an orange jumpsuit and I bet that would change their attitudes about a whole bunch of things.
Wasn't he going to leave the country?
Yeah, Baldwin was going to move to Canada if Bush got reelected in 2004. Odd that he hasn't found a place up there yet.
.... "No time for slowly moving toward one another with a combination of hope and caution, lust and integrity"
-that's actually a pretty artfully written line. I'm impressed. Did he steal it?
M
Look, marriage is now a joke. Let's just go along with the same-sexers, the progressive open marriage types and others, if only to give marriage a tidy end as an institution.
I watched the NBA finals last night. Now that's what men under pressure look like. Baldwin gets angry at the woman in his life when the role he is playing doesn't come across well. So he can understand a creepy jerk lying to everyone whom he can fool for the fun of it...especially dumb women who see anything in the man he is pretending that he is. The wife would know who he really is and have to be punished for that. But a real man can carry the name of "Dirk" and do still his job with grace under pressure.
Titus sez:
... So really Weiner is just one of us.
Pure folly in that remark. Tonight there will also be hundreds of people sticking up 7-11's. That does not make them one of "us." At least not "my us."
You really disappoint me with this comment ... most of your posts are bright, cogent, and witty ... this one is just plain dumb. Denial actually. I presume you've had a bad day.
This was Alec Baldwin's eHarmony video.
This is nothing more than the magnanimity the victor shows to the vanquished. Now that Weiner's out of the way, Baldwin thinks he can be mayor (pathetically enough, he may be right).
tim maguire
I'm surprised at the comments over there. Almost all push back with just a few sniveling apologists.
I expected the opposite.
tim maguire
@tfmaguire42
"This is nothing more than the magnanimity the victor shows to the vanquished."
Winner winner chicken dinner.
Baldwin, Viagra in human form, for the Penisaur.
There was a time when we called "high functioning" something else... "low character".
Doesn't Baldwin have a 14 year old girl he should be screaming at somewhere?
Does anyone else think Baldwin's being completely sarcastic? I didn't read the whole post, just excerpted part, but I see sarcasm.
Does anyone else think Baldwin's being completely sarcastic? I didn't read the whole post, just excerpted part, but I see sarcasm.
Baldwin gets more funny as a comedic talent the older he gets. I'm a huge fan of his in this regard. That in mind, I didn't get sarcasm from his piece.
Yeah, I read it and imagined the voice he uses in 30 Rock and it is really top-notch comedy.
Like all good comedy, there has to be some elements of truth or it doesn't work.
Exactly the kind of think you'd expect from a putz like Baldwin.
The shallowest of deepness.
What's Baldwin's recreation...screaming at his daughter? Fun.
Yeah, Baldwin was going to move to Canada if Bush got reelected in 2004. Odd that he hasn't found a place up there yet.
Obviously, Canada's superior housing financing programs have made for a tight market. There's literally no houses nor apartments for sale or rent in Canada.
Jeez, do you think Baldwin is lifting his columns from the band Rush?
Anthony Weiner, he's a...
New World Man
He's a rebel and a runner
He's a signal turning green
He's a restless young romantic
Wants to run the big machine
He's got a problem with his poisons
But you know he'll find a cure
He's cleaning up his systems
To keep his nature pure
Learning to match the beat of the Old World Man
Learning to catch the heat of the Third World Man
He's got to make his own mistakes
And learn to mend the mess he makes
He's old enough to know what's right
But young enough not to choose it
He's noble enough to win the world
But weak enough to lose it
He's a New World Man...
He's a radio receiver
Tuned to factories and farms
He's a writer and arranger
And a young boy bearing arms
He's got a problem with his power
With weapons on patrol
He's got to walk a fine line
And keep his self-control
Trying to save the day for the Old World Man
Trying to pave the way for the Third World Man
He's not concerned with yesterday
He knows constant change is here today
He's noble enough to know what's right
But weak enough not to choose it
He's wise enough to win the world
But fool enough to lose it
He's a New World Man...
Democrats stick together when it comes to this sort of morally corrupt behavior. They feel each other's pain. They can relate.
Who wouldn't want to take the edge off by snapping and sending photos of your own erect penis? What's a little dirty talk with 17 year old girl while on congressional pay?
Prudes.
I remember being a very horny teenager and thinking, "I can't wait until I'm an adult, then I can just use the Internet to find women who just want to have sex all the time."
Man it is not that easy. :P
I mean, NOBODY says modern, high-functioning man and means it. Come on!
Who wouldn't want to take the edge off by snapping and sending photos of your own erect penis?
When it comes to relaxation, it doesn't get any better than that. Save your vacation money, guys, and watch the stress just vanish at home.
Pathetic.
First of all, are we to believe that Baldwin actually wrote this?
Well, never mind that.
I've been rolling my eyes about the struggling new narrative developing on Weiner—that he was an exceedingly bright, energetic and articulate spokesman for the left who was brought down by his own excesses, presumably just another example of a gifted individual whose creative energies could not be contained.
Oh, Puh-Lease!
Didn't anyone see Weiner on cable news before his fantasy sex league became public? He came across as an uninformed bully. His usual shtick was to take some simple-minded lefty talking point and rudely hammer it home with hyper-aggressive language and posturing.
The surprise isn't that Weiner's juvenile sex games did him in, but rather that he had any political traction in the first place.
@EDH
(gloveslap)
How dare you, sir, sully the good name of that Canadian prog-rock trio by attaching one their classics to this reprobate?
Pistols at dawn, sir.
Scott M,
I merely said that it appeared that Baldwin had appropriated Rush's themes on bahalf of Weiner.
Instead, what I expected might offend Rush fans was skipping the intro to New World Man in the link to the video in order to get right to the lyrics.
Mea culpa.
I recall reading about a survey of Canadian students, taken during the winter months, that found most preferred virtual sex to the real thing. While all of them might not have been high functioning, I think it says something about seeking pleasures without too much effort or consequences.To see just how common this activity is one only has to view the anonymous video chats sites to see wiener exhibitionist. A sign of our times is that politicians, aware of the dangerous and costs of the usual sins, are avoiding men's rooms, and mistresses and grabbing their tweeter instead?
Are you going full-metal apologist, RV, or just waxing on the probable future behavior of elected officials?
Did you find his week-long victimhood performance as nauseating as most?
weeenies defending weeenies.
Airdog I was being sarcastic.
There are so many things wrong with Baldwin's comments. One is that Baldwin assumes officials (and presumably celebrities) are so so busy that they are reduced to having cyber sex, or whatever it's called, unlike the rest of us, who are not important and therefore, not busy and not "high functioning.
Society is increasingly reminding me of Kasinski's "Being There." Seriously.
The whole article seems almost coherent if you imagine it being read aloud by Jack Donaghy.
Or Scott Ritter.
Or Richard Speck.
First of all, re: Mr. Baldwin, as he states on his latest commercial:
Its ok, I've played a pilot before
I bet he's played a psychologist before, too.
Second, as for Mr. Weiner "modern" trials, I'll assume he went to a little Hebrew school as a kid and learned a little about his Jewish background. If so he might recall when King David was all tense from fighting Philistines, couldn't sleep, went up to his roof and before he knew he had bedded and impregnated Bathsheba (and had her husband killed). Maybe this lust thing is not such a modern phenomenon after all.
Chip..very funny!
Titus: Bottom line... I do not want this person making decisions that tell me how I must live, as he has demonstrated the ability to feel entitled to enact rules for others while he lies and lives outside those same rules. Doesn't matter if it's sex, cheating on taxes, substance abuse, illegal nanny, placing your partner in a high level position at Fannie/Freddie...whatever. Rules for thee and none for me just does not cut it.
Titus;
How many non-famous politicians, artists etc are sending out nude pics over the internet tonight?
I would guess millions.
That was a joke right?
Last week some news outlet (I forget) in the lead in to the upcoming story stated "How do you legally manage a political sex scandal?" My reflexive reaction:
Don't have one!
On NPR's "Wait, wait, don't tell me" they end with a challenge to the panelists about future news story related to a present news item. This past week it was about Weinergate. One of the panelists had the same thought as I about the future newsworthy headline:
Congressman admits to having sex with his wife, and only his wife
(PS and appropriate for all of this, the WV is "worse", as in "yeah, it gets worse")
I thought Alec left the US years ago when President Bush was elected.
I hope Mrs. Weiner can take some comfort from his words.
Weiner is one # away from winning.
r-v, I would think a mens room stall the perfect place from which to tweet privately.
I'll buy a Palladian print if he'll post an audio edition of Baldwin's missive :)
alec feels sorry for the modern democrat. His sympathies in the piece do not extend to non human republicans.
I wish Baldwin would run for mayor in character as Jack Donaghy. Sometimes I forget the his actual politics are completely 180 from his character on 30 rock. He really plays a pitch perfect conservative.
So I wait my turn, I'm a modern man
And the people behind me, they can't understand
Makes me feel like
Makes me feel like
So I wait in line, I'm a modern man
And the people behind me, they can't understand
Makes me feel like
Something don't feel right
Like a record that's skipping
I'm a modern man
And the clock keeps ticking
I'm a modern man
Makes me feel like
Makes me feel like
In my dream I was almost there
And you pulled me aside and said you're going nowhere
They say we are the chosen few
But we're wasted
And that's why we're still waiting
On a number from the modern man
Maybe when you're older you will understand
Why you don't feel right
Why you can't sleep at night now
It's so sad, isn't it? Baldwin feels sorry for Weiner... and for the modern man.
Thank you very much, er, Mr. Roboto?
Like I look to Alec Baldwin, or any Baldwin brother, for lessons on manhood.
Not.
Smells like the typical liberal victimology discourse to justify stupid behavior.
One cocky asshole defending another cocky asshole. Maybe Baldwin and Weiner can send each other photos of their privates to see which one bigger.
Titus said...
Airdog, I was being sarcastic.
Whew.
My "//sarc-detector" is not working very well these days. My bad.
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