"A moment of total stillness followed. Caught unprepared, the mass of teenagers quickly backed off, silent and non-plussed. Evidently this was something for which no clever riposte had been rehearsed. The unexpected interlude allowed the elderly ladies to make appreciative noises and climb onboard without further harassment."
Do you have what it takes to be the adult in a world of teenagers?
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७७ टिप्पण्या:
As a twenty-something in the 90's, I noticed a difference in the teenagers coming into college with me as early as 92. At the time I thought it was all my own perception and a function of "growing up" (shudder...lol).
However, after the Woodstock debacle and having spoken to a large number of public school teachers who are at the end of their life-long careers, there has been a fundamental shift in behavior toward the bad end of the spectrum.
I used to think this had something to do with the fact that most of the Gen Y's were latchkeys; kids of two-income families that didn't have one or the other parent at home when they got back from school every day. I still think this has something to do with it, but there's got to be much more.
As an adult now with kids of my own, I see adults shy away from groups of teens or, indeed, look the other way at outright bad behavior. Part of this is fear of retribution, knowing the little punks don't have any fear of authority for the most part, but I think a large part of it is due to runaway litigation in this country.
Do you have what it takes to be the adult in a world of teenagers?
Yep. As a matter of fact last year Mrs. Hoosier and I went to the movies and there was a gaggle of teens about four rows behind us who carried on talking, laughing and what not. Now this was during the previews so I ignored it. Once the movie started the talking and laughing continued despite a couple of people who shhhshed them.
Finally I got up, walked into the row in front of them and said in no uncertain terms that if they didn't shut the fuck up I would physically drag each and everyone of them out of the theater. Oh and if you think you're gonna call your daddy on me I'll kick his ass as well. There was actually a small scattering of applause as I walked back to my seat and enjoyed the rest of the movie in blissful silence.
"I don't think the Dems and their media allies are malicious in that they really intend to rob poor people and give it to the upper middle class. I think they are just that ignorant. They really don't understand the second order effects of their actions. Worse still, they are so pig headed they refuse to learn, which is just as bad as being malicious."
In civilized times it was considered your adult duty to kick the shit out of the rowdy youth who was causing problems. Now, had you done anything, you hosier would have ended up in jail with a felony conviction. Had the teenagers done anything, they would have spent a night or two in juvenile hall and had their records expunged at 18. The force of law is behind the hooligans not the adult.
"In every generation civilization is invaded by barbarians. They are called children."
Rebecca West
Let's say that you fall on the sidewalk and are lying there as people walk past. If you say "Help, I can't get up, someone please call 911!" chances are no one will respond - everyone will just keep on walking.
Instead, you should point at one person walking by, it can be anyone, and say "You! I need help! Call 911!" Your chances of getting help will be much greater.
Peter
@Hoosier, whereabouts in Indiana do you live? I think I need to buy you a beer.
Do you have what it takes to be the adult in a world of teenagers?
Yes, but I would like to remind people that being an adult isn't just about yelling at children. I see lots of adults yelling and threatening their kids, but it's all about letting off steam, they wont follow through on anything and their kids know it.
An adult does unpleasant things that need to be done, like punishing, sticking up for others, and cleaning up other people's messes.
It's doing those sorts of things that give you the right to insist on order in others.
Now, had you done anything, you hosier would have ended up in jail with a felony conviction.
Doubtful. At best it would have been a misdemeanor assault.
The point is I don't care. I really don't and I make sure its obvious to the punks who usually deduce the prospect of eating through a straw for six months simply isn't worth it.
@Hoosier, whereabouts in Indiana do you live? I think I need to buy you a beer.
Indianapolis. I like Guinness, Widmir hefeweizen, Sam Adams and McEwans.
:-)
"Now, had you done anything, you hosier would have ended up in jail with a felony conviction.
Doubtful. At best it would have been a misdemeanor assault."
Guess again. In most states if not every state assault on someone under 18 is an "assault on a child" and a class I felony. Unless you had a self defense claim, you would have been in a lot of trouble. Hitting a 17 year old punk, in the law's eyes at least, is no different than punching out a 10 year old.
Clockwork Orange is an amazingly prophetic novel...
Unless you had a self defense claim, you would have been in a lot of trouble.
I'm sure I would have managed it.
As I said, I just don't care. In any case, most punks don't have the balls to call the cops as they usually have had dealings with them before.
"As I said, I just don't care. In any case, most punks don't have the balls to call the cops as they usually have had dealings with them before."
Depends on the punk. Although, if there are more than one of them and they act threatening, my guss is your self defense claim would succeed. I don't care either, but I would make them take the first punch. At that point, I am entitled to meet force with force. Moreover, if they do hit me, I can just call the cops and send them off to jail.
My point was not that you were not right. It was that we have a legal system often devoid of common sense that punishes people for defending themselves or others. See many states' refusal to recognize the castle doctrine for an example of how sick our society has become. Better to let some hood rob your house than risk the occasional hood getting shot while robbing people.
Do you have...
Yes.
To Jason (the commenter) --
"Yes, but I would like to remind people that being an adult isn't just about yelling at children."
True, but sometimes it is.
If you preclude a set of actions for yourself, those are the actions the uncivil will utilize against you.
"Yes, but I would like to remind people that being an adult isn't just about yelling at children."
That is true. But I would define anyone over the age of 14 as an adult. I agree with you that we should not as a general rule be yelling at children. But in return we should get rid of this rediculous idea that you have to be 18 to be considered an adult. No civilization in history has ever operated under such an absurd assumption.
I try not to ascribe to malice what can be ascribed to ignorance. Especially with teen boys, the mind just isn't thinking.
I do have a patented Death Glare, however, that I take out when needed.
It helps that I'm tall.
@Hoosier, there's a technical conference coming up next spring at the U of Indiana, right down the road. Otherwise I don't get out to the Midwest very much. I'll be in touch.
(BTW, I'm not familiar with Widmir hefeweizen. How do you rate it against Guinness and Sam Adams?)
I've in the middle of reading "Watching the English" by Kate Fox... this topic has a whole chapter. The English are known for their appreciation of good queing and when the etiquette is breached, the reaction is always to mutter a little and ignore it. Making a scene or attracting attention would be horrifying to the average Brit. I recommend this book highly to anyone who travels to England. Their behavioral mores are so different from Americans', some of it is astonishing.
BTW... I'm generally a very mild mannered person, but something happens to me in movie theaters. I simply will not tolerate rudeness in the theater. I will face down anybody who dares to ruin a show for me and those around.
@John, I think your dialog with Hoosier makes Scott's point about runaway litigation.
Alpha theater's success totally depends on the venue. Be very careful when you are performing out of town.
@Big Mike: Buy Hoosier a Bass. ;-)
It is what is known as a Command Voice and is used throughout the armed forces, police and firefighters around the world.
It is not simply being loud, but carrying a tone of command and authority that tends to be immediately obeyed.
This can be crucial in certain circumstances, for example when a civilian wants to assist a firefighter/policeman but is actually going to do something that they know will quickly make the situation worse, not better.
One example was of a civilian wanting to help a police officer at an accident scene at night who was going to light a roadside flare, but did not know he was standing close to a gasoline leak. The officer on the scene immediately used command voice to make certain the flare did not get lit... it was not a time for reasoned discussion or asking politely.
For more information, The Command Voice (ArmyStudyGuide.com)
"A correctly delivered command will be understood by everyone in the unit. Correct commands have a tone, cadence, and snap that demand willing, correct, and immediate response."
@Rick Lee
"BTW... I'm generally a very mild mannered person, but something happens to me in movie theaters. I simply will not tolerate rudeness in the theater. I will face down anybody who dares to ruin a show for me and those around."
I’m am exactly the same way. In a movie theater, there is a minimal expectation of behavior, part of which involves shutting the hell up. I get self-conscious just tipping my cup back to get ice. Not to wantonly inject race into this, but I do remember a race-based show one of the big-three TV news organizations did a few years ago. A room full of “average” white people and another full of “average” black people. The topic was how the two groups differed on day-to-day things.
When the subject of movie theaters came up, you could tell the white group was completely uncomfortable talking about “typical black behavior”. On the other hand, the black group jumped instantly to the defensive. In particular, I remember one lady saying that she was sorry, but for “black people, movies are an audience participation event”. Fine, but if other paying customers in the same theaters don’t feel the same way, what do you do? Separate theaters? As much as you have to gird your loins to get up and go confront a group of white teens, how much more so do you have to gird to confront a group of black teens?
I will say, though, that this was roughly ten years that it aired. I’m an avid movie-goer and, honestly, I’ve noticed this hasn’t been a problem lately.
@Hoosier, there's a technical conference coming up next spring at the U of Indiana, right down the road. Otherwise I don't get out to the Midwest very much. I'll be in touch.
(BTW, I'm not familiar with Widmir hefeweizen. How do you rate it against Guinness and Sam Adams?)
Well when the date looms closer let me know and if you come through Nap town we'll hook up and I'll take you over to my favorite brew pub!
I do have a patented Death Glare, however, that I take out when needed.
It helps that I'm tall.
To MadMan's point, I'll admit that my appearance has a tendency to cower most kids. I'm 6'1 about 210lbs, closely cropped head and tattooed. Mrs. Hoosier never cared for the look (she fell in love with my winning personality) but is now finding it useful as my daughter is expressing her interest in boys.
I’ve noticed this hasn’t been a problem lately.
Not been a problem for me either. I've stopped going to movie theatres because of the inconsiderate behavior I was encountering. Why bother when you can watch it in peace in your own home?
"Why bother when you can watch it in peace in your own home?"
Because, frankly, no matter how good your home system is, some movies just beg to be seen on a huge screen with digital projection and sound that will knock you out of your seat.
@Hoosier, LOL. In the place where I used to work we had a very attractive admin. She was easy to talk to, probably because I was a bit older than her dad. She told me how her Dad, a trophy-winning marksman, always made sure her dates had a chance to see his trophies and gun case when they came by to pick her up.
Tattoos could be pretty effective too, though.
a gaggle of teens about four rows behind us who carried on talking
I shushed a group of kids -- the oldest was 12, the youngest were 5 -- sitting behind us at "Kill Bill." The oldest said, "You can't tell me what to do!"
I answered, "Oh yes I can missy" and got the manager, who promptly threw them out.
My father was quite successful as a middle-school teacher because he demanded order in his classes. His students were Navy brats whose fathers were at sea and these kids were starved for an adult male in their lives.
@David, I learned the "command voice" a while ago, too. Don't know whether I can still summon it. I should practice.
In lieu of a "death glare" I make my face go totally blank. As little expression as I possibly can muster. Behind the experssionless coutenance I imagine myself tearing the miscreant into pieces ("visualization"). It has worked well until now. Of course everything works until it doesn't.
Hoosier:
"..Mrs. Hoosier never cared for the look (she fell in love with my winning personality) but is now finding it useful as my daughter is expressing her interest in boys."
Forget the look have the 'talk' with the boy hanging around.
The best one is from the movie "Clueless". The father takes his daughter's date off to the side and tells him: "There's three things I want you to remember, I have a .45, I have a shovel, and somebody like you will never be missed."
The best one is from the movie "Clueless". The father takes his daughter's date off to the side and tells him: "There's three things I want you to remember, I have a .45, I have a shovel, and somebody like you will never be missed."
Dude, you have no idea how I am waiting to use that line. The first time I saw that movie I wrote that down.
Because, frankly, no matter how good your home system is, some movies just beg to be seen on a huge screen with digital projection and sound that will knock you out of your seat.
I'm only impressed with the theatrics if I can suspend disbelieve and put myself in the action. I can't do that if there's a lot of distractions going on around me.
Wild in the Streets
Voice over:
If you're under 25, you're the Majoity. And you can run the country! . . . President before he's 25, following a campaign that broke every rule in the book. People went wild. Wild In The Streets."
Patience and politeness are great virtues among a civilized group. There is a open communications channel still there for later interractions when we use these virtues. But an enemy can overwhelm a patient and polite person, especially where the enemy has a gang of supporters and a common goal.This is the origin of rules for radicals a la Alinskyites. When your counter verbal assault quickly given and not backed down from is the only alternative left, then be strong and give it, and also accept that even your own friends will not like you anymore. That is the conundrum. You must chose between being a miserable loser coward, or being a rude and an offensive person.That necessary choice is the loss in quality of life we have suffered since authority figures became unsupported from the late 1960s. See, Skip Gates encounter with an authority figure still doing his job and not backing down to a gang of rebels (a/k/a Harvard Professors).
(BTW, I'm not familiar with Widmir hefeweizen. How do you rate it against Guinness and Sam Adams?)
Well it's a German wheat so I can't compare it to Guinness or Sam Adams Boston Lager as they're pretty different beers altogether.
Widmir is probably the best wheat I have had.
I'm partial to Island Wheat by Capital Brewery here in Madison (well, it's in Middleton) that uses only wheat grown on Washington Is in Lake Michigan -- at least, that's the marketing claim.
MadMan
Wisconsin should probably be known for its excellent microbrews as much as its cheese.
His students were Navy brats
They would be Navy juniors.
Army Brats.
It may not be as true now, but public misbehavior by an officer's kids or spouse could affect his career.
It may not be as true now, but public misbehavior by an officer's kids or spouse could affect his career.
How true that was. Growing up a Marine Officer's son in the 60's, we said Yes M'am and Yes Sir to every adult. And if we ever sassed an adult - I still shudder to think what would have happened!
Absolutely. It's the actual offensiveness of the topic at hand that should remind all adults that children to teenagers do not rule the roost. That is the distinction between a child and an adult. Adults acting like adults in an adult world ruled by adults, not that of children. Stand on principal for good behavior, decency and the dignity of others who can't do it for themselves even if you stand alone. I try to confront bad behavior regardless of consequence. It works 99% of the time because you have to mean it, not just say it.
Fascinating that this gutsy Brit very carefully avoided discussing the appearance of these teens. Were they perhaps noble blacks or pakis?
for “black people, movies are an audience participation event”.
I actually like this for certain types of movies, particularly horror. We used to make it a point to go to a certain movie theater in DC because it had greater audience participation. I agree it would not be appropriate for, say, Schindlers List. But for light movies, I don’t see the harm. (I do make an effort not to talk during movies because I know it bothers others, but if I had my way and someone chatty next to me I would talk through most movies. Most of them aren’t really good enough to warrant much concentration, anyway).
I did have someone kick my chair because my friend and I were talking during previews and I thought that was a bit much. A polite request would have been more effective.
@Hoosier, I've only ever had wheat beers in microbrewries. I always liked them, but don't know whether it's the wheat beer I'm liking or the fact that the beer is so fresh.
(Not to hijack the thread or anything.
It embarrasses my wife, but yes, I do and I have.
I once witnessed in a parking lot one teenage boy threatening another who was wielding a knife in defense. A woman stopped her car and yelled at them. The first boy cursed at her. Then a large, adult man opened the trunk of his car, pulled out a tire iron, and slowly advanced on them.
Instant dispersion.
You do and you have WHAT, Pogo?!
"Why bother when you can watch it in peace in your own home?"
Because, frankly, no matter how good your home system is, some movies just beg to be seen on a huge screen with digital projection and sound that will knock you out of your seat.
My home theater setup has a large screen, high quality surround sound, a wet bar, a pause button, a bathroom, and no sticky floors or overpriced snacks. Not too many theaters can compete with that.
As for being an adult in a world of teenagers, I deal with that regularly when I interact with liberals. Many of them are no different than teenagers.
ricpic:
heh.
it was in answer to the blogged query: "Do you have what it takes to be the adult in a world of teenagers?".
In short, yes, I have threatened teens with physical violence for being assholes.
You reminded me of that scene in Mad Men when Draper is on the elevator and two men on board are making sexually suggestive comments which are obviously distressing the woman also riding. Draper shuts it down perfectly by making one of them take off his hat.
Old School.
As for movies as audience participation events, I once saw The Usual Suspects in one of those second run movie houses that also serve beer and food. The sound went out. We started yelling the lines for the actors. When it was time to mention the nemisis of the movie, I yelled out "Kaiser Permanente!"
That brought the house down with laughter and it was before health care was even a primary issues.
Well I pretty much stopped going to the movies, in large part because of the asshats who seem to think that they're in their friggin living room rather than a public theater. The incident I described upthread was not an isolated one.
I always told Mrs. Hoosier that we could go to the movies and if there was only one other person in the theater with us, the fucker would be talking to himself.
I have pretty much the same story as Hoosier, (without the threats of violence!)
I was seeing Spiderman (I think) with my husband and halfway through the movie, a group of about 4 teen boys came in, sat in the back, and just started talking loud, cussing, and laughing. There were lots of young kids in the audience, but none of the parents were saying anything! Finally, after one loud outburst, my husband and I both turned around and yelled "Shut up, get out of here," etc. It actually worked... after a couple minutes they left.
One other time we yelled at some guys who were kicking a possum around a parking lot. Those were actually extremely drunk rednecks, so it was probably unwise for us to do so. But that was in the mid-90s, long before we had cell phones.
##
OT, I envy big guys' ability to intimidate. Last time I went running, I was followed by 2 jerks in a truck. They kept circling the neighborhood to gawk at me. It just made me blindingly angry. How I wished I could kick their asses.
Fascinating that this gutsy Brit very carefully avoided discussing the appearance of these teens. Were they perhaps noble blacks or pakis?
I suspect it is because in Britain, poor Whites are famously the worst-behaved of all. I recall that Theodore Dalrymple's Life at the Bottom, has plenty of examples of absolutely pathological behaviour by lower-class Whites. Of course, it's also the case that young upper-class Whites in England can be awfully badly behaved, e.g. the Bullingdon Club (of which David Cameron, the current Tory leader, was a member when he was an undergraduate). And for good measure, I'm going to guess that perfectly ordinary middle-class youths behave awfully badly when they feel they can get away with it. It's not like all the yobs you see in the soccer riots, or making monkey noises at the African players, (and of course, hissing noises at the Jewish players) are poor or ultra-rich or non-White. Young people are savages.
"This requires a certain willingness to look like an escaped mental patient, at least temporarily"
It causes me no end of pain to have to maintain order with my stepdaughter using this exact technique. She uses her mother as a doormat but keeps a respectful distance from me, if for no other reason than she isn't quite sure if the nexet time I go "off" there will be serious bodily injury. I don't like it, but this kid won't respond to anything else.
Being an adult in a world of teenagers is certainly NOT threatening bodily injury, or engaging in a shouting match. This is simply dealing with bullies on their own level, and raising the aggression stakes.
May I suggest you all take a note from Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer. Better yet, watch the show on National Geographic Channel. Not only does it work on dogs and on kids, it makes you feel both relaxed and powerful. I sound like an ad, but as a 68 yr old grandmother I have learned more about control from The Dog Whisperer than in all my years as a mother and a teacher.
" Not only does it work on dogs and on kids..."
I'd like to see it work on a belligerent 200 lb 16 year old with ballcap turned back and baggy pants slung around his knees.
In that case you'll have to watch the Dog the Bounty Hunter show. We sometimes get those two mixed up.
-The Other Jeremy
Take the dog and the 200lb kid away from their pack, and you might be surprised just how well this could work.
Might.
Explain how you separate the kid from his pack at the ballgame, subway, movies, or mall again; I missed it.
ired --
"May I suggest you all take a note from Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer. Better yet, watch the show on National Geographic Channel."
May I suggest you watch dogs a bit. When the beta's refuse to back down, there's a fight. You might also rethink your worship of Cesar. It is a TV show.
Wiki:
Dr. Nicholas Dodman, the director of the Animal Behavior Clinic at the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine of Tufts University, has said "Cesar Millan's methods are based on flooding and punishment. The results, though immediate, will be only transitory."[citation needed]
Jean Donaldson, the San Francisco SPCA Director of The Academy for Dog Trainers has criticized Millan for physically confronting aggressive dogs and using choke chains for fearful dogs.[21]
On September 6, 2006, the American Humane Association issued a press release criticizing Millan's tactics and called on the National Geographic Channel to cease airing the program immediately. [22]
In October 2006, the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants wrote a letter to the National Geographic Channel regarding concerns "that the program may lead children to engage in unsafe behaviors." The Association called for a change in the program's rating of TV-G. [23]
Physically confronting and choke chains. Pretty much what we've been suggesting.
"This requires a certain willingness to look like an escaped mental patient, at least temporarily"
As James Brown said, "I don't know karate, but I know carazy."
About the difference between black and white audiences in movie theaters: I missed seeing Fame when it first came out in 1980 and waited for it to hit a second-run theater. Friends and I went to a theater in the black area of town because that's where it was showing. Boy, were we shocked at the behavior of the audience. We were the only ones in the theater who didn't have the thing memorized. We'd never seen an audience that noisy, that active. We were shocked, but didn't necessarily disapprove. It was a riot, listening and watching people sing and say the lines with the movie. I rented the movie later so I could watch it at home...instead of watching the audience watch it.
"Explain how you separate the kid from his pack at the ballgame, subway, movies, or mall again; I missed it."
You didn't miss anything, Pogo, but this is where my earlier advice comes into play. You always need to be aware of your "venue".
This reminds me of something I heard on TV yesterday or day before. They were talking about how Obama was having lunch with all of the Democrats, then noted that apparently he didn't expect to have anything positive come from this since movement in Washington comes from meetings of two or three.
Of course, maybe Obama naively didn't know this, and thought his mere invite and presence would move along his health care initiative?
It was a riot, listening and watching people sing and say the lines with the movie.
I think it's fun, as long as it's a light movie. Actually, white audiences do this to for the right movie...when they re released star wars in 1997, I went the first day and people were cheering every time one of the characters came on and then I think luke and leia kissed and somebody yelled "incest". Hee.
Speaking of, went to the bakery tonight and the guy behind the counter introduced me to someone and told me it was George Lucas. I was skeptical, but the guy looked like George Lucas and didn't deny it, so maybe it really was.
There aren't many guys who look like George Lucas out there. I hope.
I have a young dog that refused to submit. Cesar Milan's methods did not work with her. I had to learn a new way of working with her, so I will say that Cesar's line about educating the dog owner is true, but sometimes what the human has to learn is not what Cesar is teaching.
Intelligent, young, working dogs need a job. A choke chain will only piss them off.
Pissed off, untrained, undisciplined youth need a work camp or basic training. They don't need to be anywhere around me.
I have pretty much the same story as Hoosier, (without the threats of violence!)
Oh come on knox. It wasn't a threat of violence. I just said I'd drag them out of the theater.
I mean that's being tosseled, roughed up at best. Violence is when I am causing arterial spray and you hear bones snapping.
Years ago, I took my foster nephew in after he had discovered gang-banging, and set him straight. He was a huge kid, who merely discovered he could scare people, but still a kid. He went from being a failing student to one of the best kids in school - and one who loved books. Then he went back to his mother and, within three months, he began a 12 year stint in prison for armed robbery.
Folks, The Macho Response works,...
And for the record: Yea, there was violence involved - featuring fists, a pipe, whatever I could get my hands on. This attitude that violence is ALWAYS WRONG is baloney propagated by weaklings and cowards. Eventually, if you're nice, NewAgers will push you too fucking far, and to not respond is just an invitation for more of the same - and YOUR world thrown into chaos. Don't be fooled:
That's when you need The Macho Response
Violence is when I am causing arterial spray and you hear bones snapping.
Whatevs. Just wait til I get my concealed carry!! Then we'll see who's busting caps or cracking skulls or... yeah, stuff like that.
Whatevs. Just wait til I get my concealed carry!! Then we'll see who's busting caps or cracking skulls or... yeah, stuff like that.
Well in all honesty the only cap I ever busted was the one on two month old crown when I bit down on a Jolly Rancher.
But I did sleep in a Holiday Inn Express once.
when they re released star wars in 1997, I went the first day ...
I did too, and I had to sneak out of boarding school with two other people to do it, and we got caught and grounded to our rooms for a week! I guess we were the teenagers, and they were the adults.
Mrs. Hoosier never cared for the look (she fell in love with my winning personality)
Hoosier, could you share some of your tricks of the trade there? That has yet to work for me...
@class-factotum: The group of kids you shushed at the movies had more problems than just being loud; what the hell were a 12-year-old and a 5-year-old (!) doing at Kill Bill in the first place? Did they tell their parents they were going to see Spongebob and just "accidentally" went into the wrong theatre?
Kev, I was appalled too, to see such young children at such a violent movie. It was too violent for me!
I think that's part of the reason the manager was willing to act so quickly. He said that parents dropped their kids off at the movies and then left.
This cinema had over a dozen screens and no way to control who went into which one unless the theater wanted to post someone at each door, which they were not willing to do. (And should not have had to do.)
Cracky, what's the point of having a blog if you don't respond to comments? Or maybe, what's the point of comments if you don't respond to them?
I have asked you three times what was the deal with that horrible pic of the black woman with half her scalp ripped off, and the cup of dirt in her hand. Is that to do with gang violence, homeopathy, cults, or what? Is it someone you know? It's perfectly freakish.
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