December 2, 2008
"Substitute any intransitive verb for 'blog,' and you have some pretty good life advice."
Says Gordon Smith, quoting me... and setting up what I think is a nice challenge to think of some intransitive verbs to create advice that Gordon might not rubber-stamp.
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If you want to cheat, cheat. Otherwise, don't.
lie
rob
rape
plunder
torture
terrorize
there is an old story about otto klemperer, the conductor, who would interrupt rehearsals with long-winded and sometimes well of the mark monologues. Tabato, the oboist with the Philly orchestra grew tired of this and said "Mr. Klemps..you talka too much".
?
age
Advice gatekeeping is needed.
If you want to obfuscate, obfuscate. Otherwise, don't.
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
Whether or not he wants to;
But whatever it is a man's gotta do
Is easy if he wants to.
If you want to scratch, scratch. Otherwise, don't.
blink
hiccup
itch
dream
If you want to obfuscate, obfuscate. Otherwise, don't.
Eschew Obfuscation*
*Actually saw this on a bumper sticker recently. So jealous.
If you want to breathe, breathe. Otherwise don't.
ahhh...so, if you want to "talka" then "talka"
If you want to hate, hate. Otherwise, don't.
If you wanta sing out, sing out.
If you want to die, die.
Not good life advice.
...otherwise don't.
This is getting very philosophical. I tried the converse "If you don't want to x, don't." and still found myself in a quandry. Thank Evolution for my ability to make exceptions to rules.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" -- Charles Dickens
Make up your mind, Charles. Don't obfuscate.
Pretty easy,
If you want to vegetate, vegetate. Otherwise, don't.
If you want to shrink, shrink. Otherwise, don't.
If you want to combust, combust. Otherwise, don't.
shit
shower
shave
Want to be "neutral" be neutral
Otherwise, dont. ;)
masticate
bloviate
regurgitate
litigate
If you want to fuck, fuck. Otherwise, don't.
If you want to substitute an intransitive verb for 'blog,' substitute an intransitive verb for 'blog'. Otherwise, don't.
If you want to drink, drink. Otherwise, don't.
Smoke.
Fart.
Eat.
Snore.
Hallucinate.
Bitch.
Shoot.
Inhale.
Snort.
Suck.
Swallow.
Kvetch.
Jump.
Whip.
Fondle.
Wallpaper.
Paint.
Restrain.
Think.
Vote.
Leave.
Post.
Wait just a doggone minute. Fuck can't be intransitive. Or can it? I guess... maybe it can. But how? I don't know. Aw who cares? Fuck it.
Plagiarize. *shiver*
Wait just a doggone minute. Fuck can't be intransitive. Or can it? I guess... maybe it can. But how? I don't know. Aw who cares? Fuck it.
It is many things to many people.
lie
rob
rape
plunder
torture
terrorize
are all transitive.
so is litigate
Wallpaper and vote also take an object.
Plagiarizing has a victim.
Interesting, Chip Ahoy. I was wondering on some of them. But the online dictionary said plagiarize could be intransitive.
Somebody gets plagiarized, no?
OT (fixed a garbled sentence ^^^)
You know what kills me? When a politician takes the speaker's stand and to emphasize a point they make that hand motion that looks like they're pushing in a thumbtack. It seems so impotent. That makes me dismiss the point they're tacking.
If you want to thumbtack, thumbtack. Otherwise, don't. You weenie.
If you want a weenie, have a weenie. Otherwise, don't play with your food.
(fixed a link)
Transitive vs. intransitive is easy if you've ever seriously studied a foreign language.
I just read the coolest thing on Wiki:
In more technical terms, an intransitive verb has only one argument (its subject), and hence has a valency of one.
link
That's a totally cool use of the word "valency." As a chemist, the term has a very special meaning. I can see it vividly now for grammar too.
Well, I don't want to clutter up this thread further, but I guess we should get this right! This is what the online dictionary said about "plagiarize":
intransitive verb
: to commit literary theft : present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source
If you want to link, link. Otherwise, you're really not much of a blogger now are you?
It's very Zen.
When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep.
When bored, blog.
Or maybe we could get a little Yoda here: "Do or do not. There is no try."
If you want to do not, do not. Otherwise don't.
The strain of differentiating transitive from intransitive verbs has caused me to prepare (transitive) a chicken breast scaloppini, which is another way of saying flattened.
blake, couldn't that last one be:
If you don't want to do, do not do. Otherwise, don't not do.
Will that do? If not, try to make do 'cause I'm done.
I meant to say scallopini, up there ^^^.
Do on to others before they do it to you.
Or something like that.
a chicken breast scaloppini, which is another way of saying flattened.
That reminded me of this. Maybe it's a species thing.
Mmm...scallopini. Intransitive who?
Scaloppini?
If you want to eat, eat. If not, donate.
Yeah. If you want to cook, cook. But please share.
Anna Maria Alberghetti....get in a taxi honey.....
The childless are genetically intransitive.
Obscure Mary Tyler Moore referance.
People here bitch too much about Obama.
lie
rob
rape
plunder
torture
terrorize
are all transitive.
Chip: I may rob you, torture you, and rape you--and I might or might not plunder you and terrorize you whilst I plunder and terrorize--but I can assure you as to this: never will I lie you.
Nanny Bloomberg has just announced that the MTA is raising the intransitive fare $1 a ride.
Absolutely love Bloomberg.
A true diva.
"If you want to procrastinate, procrastinate. Otherwise, don't."
If you want to do not, do not. Otherwise don't.
Then I guess you really shouldn't.
Would "If you want to, do it" really make good life advice? I think you'd end up with a sucky life. I suppose it depends on how you defined "want."
blog bumper stickers.
Yodahouse version:
If you want to do, do. There is no try.
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