১৫ জুলাই, ২০০৬

"Because you only let me take pictures of you when you're drunk."

Overheard, in a café this morning. I didn't hear the question that provoked this answer, so I'm just offering it up as a contest. You compose the question, you know, like in those New Yorker caption writing contests, which I despise. The reason I don't despise my own little contest is not (just) because it's mine, but because The New Yorker uses some damned picture that was drawn without a caption in mind, the readers come up with such poor ideas, and The New Yorker keeps doing it in spite of the nauseating mediocrity. On the other hand, I really did hear this quote, so there is a true answer somewhere out there lost in the past, and you will probably have some good ideas, and I'm not going to keep doing this if you don't.

IN THE COMMENTS: Lots of funny suggestions, but I'm going to declare a winner. It's AJ Lynch for
"How come we get always get drunk before we have sex?"

৩৩টি মন্তব্য:

Jennifer বলেছেন...

Why do pictures of me look so ugly the next morning?

buddy larsen বলেছেন...

"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?"

I'm Full of Soup বলেছেন...

Barney said - "Moe- how come you never use your camera until happy hour is over?"

I'm Full of Soup বলেছেন...

How come we get always get drunk before we have sex?

Robert বলেছেন...

"How come every picture in this album is of me exposing myself in some fashion?"

Chennaul বলেছেন...

Why am I always wearing a lampshade?

Chennaul বলেছেন...

Wait...

That's so cliche.


Why am I always wearing a marmot?

buddy larsen বলেছেন...

uhhh...trouble at home, Johnny?

buddy larsen বলেছেন...

LOL--and the sun ain't even set yet!

Ron বলেছেন...

Why do you keep submitting my nude pics to Modern Drunkard to be their centerfold?

reader_iam বলেছেন...

Why don't we have any pictures of me that I can send to my mother?

reader_iam বলেছেন...

Why are my clothes always stained in the pictures you take?

Jennifer বলেছেন...

Wow, Gerry - party at your house!

Freeman Hunt বলেছেন...

Our dinner party starts at six--the guests will be here any minute! Why aren't you helping?! Why did you put those HMIs in the living room? Why are you wandering around the house with that light meter? Why is your tripod laying on the kitchen counter?

buddy larsen বলেছেন...

"Why do I look like I forgive you for ruining my life, in all these pictures?"

John Stodder বলেছেন...

How come there aren't any pictures of me in Utah?

J. Cricket বলেছেন...

Ann says: "and The New Yorker keeps doing it in spite of the nauseating mediocrity."

Awww. Haven't been picked, huh?

Ann Althouse বলেছেন...

Great answers! The sex theme is funny. I thought the most logical question, which no one's said yet, is: Why do I look drunk in every single picture you take of me?

The answer I think I like best... well, I'll wait to say. You can start voting. Keep adding more entries too. I'll pick a winner. The prize... ah, I don't know. A front page announcement of your answer... or question really. Hmmm.... this contest is like "Jeopardy."

Jennifer বলেছেন...

I'm voting for:

How come we always get drunk before we have sex? aj Lynch

My runner up: (do I get one?)

Why is Dick Cheney in all these pictures? Jim

Jennifer বলেছেন...

"Why am I wearing shorts in all these pictures?"

SippicanCottage বলেছেন...
এই মন্তব্যটি লেখক দ্বারা সরানো হয়েছে।
buddy larsen বলেছেন...

"Why do you write poems about me when I'm sober?"

Sanjay বলেছেন...

I know it's too late. But: "Why must you always side with the police?" Requires an emphasis, in the reply, on the word "me."

Jim Kenefick বলেছেন...

"Why does everyone I meet recently have intimate, personal, gynecological details about me?

reader_iam বলেছেন...

Why don't carry my photo in your wallet?

reader_iam বলেছেন...

Why do you always want to use her as your model?

vh: wwoozabi

" 'm f'l'n a little w-wooz[y], [b]abi!"

reader_iam বলেছেন...

But my vote goes to this entry of Buddy's:

"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?"

Tibore বলেছেন...

"Why do I keep getting e-mail from guys calling me "Hot Momma Babe", and why's our internet bill so high?"

Tibore বলেছেন...

"How'd we get a 5 foot cake, 3 Chippendales dancers and a Llama in the same picture? At 3 different parties?"

Freeman Hunt বলেছেন...

My favorites:

"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?", "How come there aren't any pictures of me in Utah?", and "Why do I look like I forgive you for ruining my life, in all these pictures?"

Gahrie বলেছেন...

Why do you keep spiking my wheatgrass and mango slushies?

buddy larsen বলেছেন...

"Hey, I'm not NEAR as think as you drunk I am!"

buddy larsen বলেছেন...

...one more & then i quit...a lawyer joke:

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a setting hen?"

A setting hen clucks defiance.