"Clad in a little white suit and cowboy boots, his hair a nimbus of blond curls that his mother had bleached and permed, he gestured and lunged, delivering his lines in a piping voice from a pint-size pulpit..."

"... and rolling his R’s as his mother had taught him: 'Hell is a place of extrrreme suffering.' 'I’m herrre to give the devil two black eyes.' 'I thank God for my good Chrrristian mother.' Marge sewed special pockets into his suits so that when he went through the congregation collecting offerings — $20 would get you a kiss from 'Little Marjoe' — there was ample room for the money.... He was good at his job, and he enjoyed being onstage, but he never believed in God. And he certainly didn’t believe in hell.By the time he was 14, the novelty of preaching had worn off, for him and his congregants. His voice was changing, and his father had abandoned the family and absconded with Marjoe’s earnings — some $3 million, he later estimated...."

I'm reading the obituary for Marjoe Gortner, "As a Child Evangelist, He Roused the Faithful. Later He Exposed the Con. An ordained minister at 4, Marjoe Gortner went on to star in a documentary that revealed the flimflammery of his former profession: 'You go into it like a business'" (NYT).

You can watch the whole documentary on Tubi, here.

"An early clip of the film... features the toddler character bending down to pick up a snail, before gently touching it, her face breaking into a smile."

"Such a performance would probably be beyond a child actor of the equivalent age, raising the question of whether it is easier for filmmakers to work with AI toddlers than human ones. Minkoff said that working with young children on 2002’s Stuart Little 2 'in some respects was horrible' because they would be crying while the film’s stars tried to console them. 'Geena Davis would be holding the baby, Hugh Laurie would be holding the baby, trying to calm the baby,' he said. Minkoff added that using an AI toddler was 'much more humane.'"

I'm reading "Lion King director: Why I’m embracing AI/Rob Minkoff touches on a source of tension in Hollywood as he tells The Times about Storm Dogs, his forthcoming film made with AI" (London Times).

Working with adults is also in some respects horrible. They're always crying and demanding consolation. It's not easy getting them to gently touch snails or whatever damned thing you'd like to tell them to do. And the problem isn't limited to moviemaking. In all fields of endeavor, human beings are difficult crybabies and A.I. will just get the job done. 

I like this quote from the director: "Obviously it’s not my goal or interest to put people out of work." Oh, the things you can do with an excuse like that! I wasn't my goal to hurt you. I was just achieving my goal and you were in the way. 

"Cube enthusiasts... explain the plummeting age of champions by pointing to kids’ enthusiasm for the puzzle, their ability to learn quickly and that they simply have more time to practice."

"Many are from China, which has schools that teach speedy Rubik’s Cube solving.... Yunzhi practices two to three hours a day, her mother told Red Star News of Chengdu, China...."

I'm reading "6-Year-Old Girl in China Sets a Rubik’s Cube Record Lian Yunzhi of China solved a Rubik’s Cube five times in an average of 4.27 seconds, setting a women’s world record" (NYT).

And I'm not thinking oh, isn't she cute? like most of the commenters over there. I'm thinking: 1. Child abuse, and 2. A separate "women's" division is bullshit. 

The "men's" record — i.e., the record — is 3.51 seconds, almost 20% less.

These kids who train for hours a day in Rubik’s Cube solving — what are they really being trained for? It made me think of this viral video:

"Children in foster care sometimes live in group homes if they haven’t found placement with a family."

"When they are placed with a family, they usually move to where that family already lives. Together California upends that model by having both the parents and their foster children (and up to two children those parents already have) move together into the village, where they will be joined by 11 other foster families. One of the parents in each family will devote themselves fully to managing the household and will be compensated for that work by the nonprofit.... [T]he townhouses... are spacious enough to accommodate large sibling groups, who are often separated by the foster care system...."

From "Christian Bale Built a Foster Care Village in the California Desert/The actor has been working for almost two decades to build a foster care nonprofit outside Los Angeles" (NYT gift link).

"Mr. Bale revealed that his sister was briefly in foster care when they were children but discounted that as his motivation. 'I usually don’t say that because I think that it shouldn’t require any experience of that to care about little human beings,' he said."

"We’re building a rocket ship as we fly it."

Said Michelle Lujan Grisham, the Governor of New Mexico, quoted in "One year into free child care in New Mexico, too many kids and not enough slots/In a first-in-the-nation experiment with universal child care, demand is outpacing availability and costs are soaring" (WaPo).

Last September, Lujan Grisham took the final step, announcing that New Mexico would be the first to open its subsidized day care to any family, a move estimated to save families $13,000 a year per child.... The announcement was met with applause and cheers, but behind the scenes, state legislators — who said they had not been informed that the program would become universal — were confounded, along with some members of the department’s own staff.

“We were all shocked,” said state Sen. George Muñoz, a Democrat and chairman of the Senate Finance Committee. “Nobody knew about it until the day it was in the paper. All of a sudden we were all calling each other, saying, ‘Where did this come from?’ ‘Did anybody from the governor’s office talk to you about it?’ Nope, we were all in the dark.”...

"Greg began cautiously. His first video was just him reading out loud a newspaper article about a Florida woman..."

"... who had accidentally burned down America’s fifth‑oldest tree by smoking meth underneath it. After he read it, he said to the camera, 'Isn’t that crazy?' 'The video got 10 or 12 views,' Greg told me, 'and a comment: "You look like you’ve been smoking meth."'"

I'm reading "He Was a Top Lawn Care Influencer on YouTube. Then Everything Went Haywire. Many people think Greg Chism is a freak — or worse. He says he was just following the incentives of the platform" (NYT gift link).

Read the whole amazing story of a man ruined by YouTube. It's adapted from a new book called "The Castle: Adventures in a World of Unraveling Men" (commission earned). The author is Jon Ronson.

This morning's random song encounters.

1. I woke up and looked at the phone to see that it was 4 in the morning, and it made me think of that Paul Simon song with the soaring line "4 in the morning/Crapped out/Yawning/Longing my life away." I found it on Spotify and played it through headphones, then found this version by Karen Carpenter (singing "crashed out" for "crapped out"):

2. On the way to the sunrise, the car played Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide," which has the line "Even children get older/Now I'm getting older too." Meade said aborted children don't get older, and it made me think of that Byrds recording of a Pete Seeger song with the line "I'm only 7 although I died/In Hiroshima, long ago/I'm 7 now as I was then/When children die, they do not grow":

3. I was reading the news about the dismantling of the "autonomous zone" here in Madison, including a letter said to be from the family of the man who, it seems, drew a knife on the police and was shot to death. It said: "We are entrusting The Pressure Movement" and "We are working directly with The Pressure Movement." What's the Pressure Movement? This song played in my head:

"When I was younger, I definitely felt smug about how much money I was saving. I felt like I was doing something secretly smart..."

"... living this ultrafrugal lifestyle in preparation for a day when I wouldn’t have to answer to anyone but myself. But I don’t feel that way anymore. If I drop dead of a heart attack tomorrow, most of my friends will have had more fun in their lives than I had in mine. Right now, I’m playing catch-up on fun. But I’m still pretty far behind...."

From "She Retired at 35. The Only Problem? It’s Lonely" (NY Magazine).

"And only since I retired have I started looking hard at what achieving all this shit was actually going to do for me. What emotional need was I trying to meet? My ambition level, the way I used to think of it, is now gone. But what did it serve?... I have a lifetime goal to foster and adopt out 100 animals, and I’m three-quarters there already.... I am not bored or underchallenged at all. I feel like I am busier than I’ve ever been, just with different things. I have the flexibility to help my friends with their kids, which — as I don’t plan to have kids — is pure joy...."

"Casper weighed a little over 104 pounds at the time, which means the boy — who was 4 feet 2 inches tall when he died — gained roughly 150 pounds in less than two years. His diet consisted largely of potato chips and French fries...."

From "Michigan Couple Are Charged With Murder After Death of Morbidly Obese Son/Seven-year-old Casper O’Brien weighed 255 pounds when he died last year. Prosecutors said he was bedridden and subsisted on little more than snack foods" (NYT).

"[Elon Musk] is reported to have told one of his children’s mothers he wants to use surrogates to 'reach legion level.'"

"In the meantime, he has goaded the competition. In response to a post about [Russian billionaire Pavel] Durov notching triple-digit offspring, Mr. Musk replied, '"Rookie numbers lmao" — Genghis Khan,' a nod to the Mongol leader’s supposed millions of descendants. What drives these men to reproduce at an industrial scale? Mr. Musk’s reference to Genghis Khan holds one clue.... Like kings of earlier eras who claimed divine lineage, many of these men hold their own bloodlines in exalted regard. Mr. Musk, who in 2021 changed his job title at Tesla to 'technoking,' has said he wants smart people — or even just rich people, according to a report in Business Insider — to have more children. One of the mothers of his offspring, an executive in his business, told his biographer that he encouraged her to have kids and suggested he be her sperm donor...."

From "Is Kidmaxxing the Ultimate Status Symbol for Ultimate Wealth?" (NYT).

"Technoking" is not a gerund. I can't believe I spent time trying to understand "to technok" as a verb. The "ing" goes with the K. It's "Techno King."

You know, "nok" isn't just the NYSE stock ticker for Nokia. It's the genus of the bare-faced bulbul (Nok hualon). The Nok were an ancient African people, known for their terra cotta sculptures.

And never forget the Nixies — Danish: nøkke, Norwegian: nøkk, Swedish: näck; Icelandic: nykur, Faroese: nykur; Finnish: näkki. These were "male water spirits who play enchanted songs on instruments, luring women and children to drown in lakes or streams." 

So, ladies, resist the nøkk, the techo-nøkk, the technoking. No kings! No nøkkings. Maintain a no-nøkk policy.

"So when in middle school other kids began to tease and bully Evan, saying that his channel was 'cringe' and that he was too old to be playing with toys, Evan was taken aback...."

"He recalled that in middle school, haters in the comments called him 'spoiled,' and people told him things he had never considered before. His parents were 'taking advantage' of him, they said, or 'using you for money,' Evan told me. 'That definitely made me feel sad. Like, sad-angry.' He started telling his parents he didn’t want to review toys anymore and withdrew to his room....  'I had to really make a case to my parents,' he told me. 'It took them time to understand that I was growing up.'...  In middle school, when Evan had the impulse to post on Twitter that he was 'really sad,' his parents discouraged him. 'You don’t need to let the internet know all of your emotions,' he remembered them saying.... "

From "When a Child’s Life Becomes the Family Business/Evan Lee, better known as EvanTube, still had his baby teeth when he became an influencer. Now he’s ready to reflect on what that kind of exposure meant" (NYT).

"You can get married at the New York Marble Cemetery on Second Avenue/The Balloon Saloon in Tribeca has the best gag gifts and the biggest fake poops in town."

"Avoid trampoline parks at all costs. Throw a less chaotic kids’ party instead at Twinkle PlaySpace in Williamsburg. For $399, hire NY Teacup Piggies to bring in three piglets for the young partygoers to play with.... Call Beverly Fish at Chezzam for out-of-the-box entertainment — think actors in rat costumes serving a cheese platter.... You can hire a babysitter to walk your child (ages 4 to 15) from school to your home (or wherever they need to go) using the service Trot My Tot. You’ll pay a maximum of $25 per hour.... Cheeky tweens tend to enjoy the 'butt scavenger hunt' at the Brooklyn Museum; ask for it at admissions.... "

From "259 Things New Yorkers Should Know/The second edition of our annual handbook will help you make the most of the city" (NY Magazine).

I looked up the "butt scavenger hunt" so you don't have to:

"It seems like a kind of arms race. You have people becoming more and more assertive about including dogs everywhere and then..."

"... on the other side, people becoming more and more assertive about their resistance to having dogs everywhere."

Says Jessica Pierce, "a bioethicist studying human-dog relations," quoted in "Where Does a Dog Belong? In restaurants or grocery stores? Tensions between canine lovers and other New Yorkers are boiling over" (New York Magazine).

“If there wasn’t dog shit all over the sidewalks, then I don’t think dogs would necessarily be coming to a boiling point,” one Greenpoint dog owner in his early 40s reflected. It wasn’t as though he had never pushed the boundaries with his 50-pound supermutt. Yet if he didn’t always follow the letter of the law, he believed he observed the spirit, though he understood that not everyone agreed. Recently, he’d been in Transmitter Park with his dog — who, yes, was off-leash, but people do that there — when a guy in the playground area with his kid leaned over the fence. “He was not even in the vicinity of where my dog was,” he says. “He said, ‘Excuse me, you see the sign? It says NO DOGS.’ And I kind of looked at him like, Hey, you must be new here.” Why did he feel so entitled, the guy wanted to know. “And so I told him, ‘Hey, man, you’re here with your family, and I’m here with my family.” In seemingly every argument, someone brings up children. “Well, my dog,” someone inevitably says, “is better behaved and less disruptive and more pleasant than your disgusting child.”...

AND: From the comments over there:

"Father God, dispatch your angels to encamp all around them."

Video going viral of kids going to their pastor’s home asking for prayers after seeing something upsetting. pic.twitter.com/RHlcAwLTbI

— Juanita Broaddrick (@atensnut) March 31, 2026

"5 things society makes a big deal about that don't have to be that important" and "21 more things I love about being single and living alone."

It might be dangerous — especially for the young — to consume these 2 lists in sequence. It might be what "they" don't want you to know.... 

ADDED: These are Tiktok videos and I'm having trouble embedding them. So: the first one is here and the second one is here.

"It’s easy to look at $3 million in damages ordered to be paid by a company that makes billions every quarter and say, 'does this really matter?'"

"But if only a fraction of one per cent of teenagers in the United States are impacted at this serious level, that ends up being a trillion dollars of damages, not even considering punitive damages."

Said Frances Haugen, quoted in "Facebook whistleblower: Meta now faces a Big Tobacco-style ‘reckoning’ exclusive/In 2021, Frances Haugen revealed her former employer was getting users hooked on damaging social media. Now she tells The Times: 'A thousand flowers will bloom from this'" (London Times).

"They say history doesn’t repeat, but often it rhymes,' she told the Times. 'The rhyming beats between this and tobacco are just too loud for nothing to happen now. All other industries that have had the level of societal impact that Meta has had have faced a reckoning much sooner.... I think Meta understands that if they have to stop serving under-16-year-olds — or maybe even under-18-year-olds depending on how over barrel they end up being — the future of their company is over.... I am not a prohibitionist when it comes to this.... But I believe in the power of negotiation. These platforms have basically felt like they were able to negotiate from a position of strength. Now, they have to sit down at the table and discuss how to provide their services more responsibly."

"They cut off the internet. No blogs. No channels.... We don't want it. We don't want it. You won't find us on line."

"We don't sit. We don't sit on your internet. We don't want it. We don't want it. Don't sit. Don't sit there. I declare a whole year of everything turned upside down."

Russia's main TV channel is airing songs about how great life is without the internet. Getting even closer to North Korea. pic.twitter.com/KS2Hur0ioc

— WarTranslated (@wartranslated) March 20, 2026

"Your need for approval is like a sickness."

A gem of meaning at 3:14 in this video of the opening of the Oscars show last night.

Not having seen the movies, I experienced this noisy cluttered barrage of vignettes as ugly chaos. It reminded me — with jarring pokes and jabs — why I don't want to see new movies anymore. Why was Conan in overdone makeup that made him look like a very ugly woman? Why did animated Conan develop stars in his eyes for 3 adolescent girls? Why were children screaming and chasing him? He stops for a moment to speak Norwegian and examine whether his need for approval is like a sickness and then the children screaming chase him out of the psychoanalytic dark Norwegian room. It's back to the noisy cluttered barrage that is Hollywood as Conan runs into the theater. I don't know what movie those children were supposed to represent, so I was just thinking generically of Hollywood's exploitation of children. How did the children become the monsters? Or were they running from monsters and Conan running with them, not away from them? At least tell a clear story. But no, I think this years stories were about chaos and raw fear and uncomprehended monsters. 

"The Birthrate Is Plunging. Why Some Say That’s a Good Thing. The political class is worried about the historic drop. But..."

"... the biggest change is among the youngest women, who are the least ready to have children."

Headline at the NYT.

I get the "good thing" interpretation, but it's also a bad thing, isn't it? The older women, with their greater emotional maturity and economic independence, are not only more able to care for children, they are also more able to think through the whole enterprise of child bearing and child care, to weigh the pros and cons and forgo it altogether. Isn't that what is happening?

"As a kid, I was part of a youth theater repertory... this intense acting coach came to class, and after I performed a scene she told me with this terrible sneer..."

"... that all I’d ever be was funny and charming. It took me until I was 35 to realize that: (1) I wasn’t that charming; (2) I was also a whole lot more than charming; and (3) it takes an especially miserable adult to tell a child what he can and cannot be."

Says "Grant Ginder Read One Novel 7 Times While Writing His Own/James Salter’s 'Light Years' had a big influence on 'So Old, So Young,' his new book about college friends drifting in and out of one another’s lives" (NYT).

I liked his answer to the old question "You’re organizing a literary dinner party. Which three writers, dead or alive, do you invite?"

I’m supposed to say Jane Austen, Sophocles and a Finnish novelist no one’s heard of, but actually the literary dinner party I want to attend already happened. It’s the one mentioned in a recent Times article where Joan Didion refused to give Nora Ephron her recipe for Mexican Chicken. I’d die to see that.