"[RFK Jr.] was going to look into all of the vaccines and the food. He didn't do any of that. It's fake."

"So he's on some summer vacation with Cheryl and some yak.... On his Instagram... he's like, We did a 10 mile hike up the mountain and I saw a yak... The Secretary of Health and Human Services now doing content on social media with wild animals...."

"I just can't stand it when I see kids that are making $70,000 a year spending $28 for lunch. I mean, that's just stupid."

"Think about that in the context of that being put into an index fund making 8% to 10% a year for the next 50 years."

Said Kevin O'Leary, on "The Diary of a CEO" somewhat recently.

I'm only interested in that statement because Tim Dillon got so mad about it on his show the other day:

To Tim, O'Leary is saying, essentially, "They just want to push you into a form that is not human.... You are stupid and you are an idiot because you didn't go and make yourself a tuna sandwich or a turkey sandwich and bring it into work.... There used to be the days of the 3-martini lunch, people would spend two hours at Smith & Wollensky's getting bombed and having fun and enjoying their life. Now people eat a bowl of slop and they're not even allowed to do that. They don't even want them doing that...."

Half a century ago, I made one tenth of $70,000 working in a ridiculous job in NYC, so I guess, by O'Leary's standard, I'd have been a fool to pay $2.80 for a sandwich, which I think I did, not every day, but it probably felt like a splurge. Actually, turkey for making a sandwich at home was considered expensive.

Tim Dillon explains Melania's Epstein speech.

I like the detail in the interpretation of the line, "Donald and I were invited to the same parties as Epstein from time to time since overlapping in social circles is common in New York City and Palm Beach."

Dillon translates: "Here's what she's telling you: We are rich.... I'm wealthy and I'm attractive. Many of you aren't either one of those things.

"This is the CEO of Victoria's Secret, claiming that Epstein, who he hired to manage all of his money, had alerted him to the danger if you didn't inventory forks and spoons...."

"A guy like Les Wexner has to protect himself from fork theft. Understand? So that's where Jeffrey Epstein came in. Even his lawyer is looking at him like, well, this is an odd example. Even his lawyer's like, this is why we gotta keep it to five less, five words or less. Because now we're like, you're talking about forks and knives and spoons. Les Wexner on what Jeffrey Epstein did for him.... People could be stealing your silverware and Les Wexner's like, well that's what a good thought. I'd never thought that, here's all of my money. Let me give you power of attorney over literally all of my assets. Because you came up with this...."

"Zoran Momani has been elected.... So what?... What's the big deal? Obviously he was going to win.... You can just leave...."

"But there are people out there who... are finding it increasingly difficult to afford New York City. Those people — the paint-by-numbers/pin a ribbon on me/I did all of the right things/I have all of the right views/I post all of the right things on social media.... They're normies.... They're just boring and vapid and surface and dull and pointless.... and their concerns are so small and petty.... That is the coalition that Zoran has. He has a coalition of angry, boring, mediocre people that have done the right things and have gotten very little for it....

"The problem with it is, if you make the whole world run by fakes and simulations, everybody becomes increasingly more dysfunctional."

"Everybody becomes alienated and nervous and unsure of their own value, and the whole thing falls apart, and at some point, it’s like civilizational and species collapse."

Said Jaron Lanier, "a top scientist at Microsoft," quoted in Maureen Dowd's new column, "When A.I. Came for Hollywood" (NYT).

Dowd is taking on the Tilly Norwood problem. Do I have to explain that? Why do I have the creepy feeling that Al Gore is going to sidle over and smirk: "What about the Tilly Norwood problem?"

Just kidding. That's Dingell Norwood.

Tilly Norwood is just an all-A.I. actress. People might prefer a completely fake human to a mixed-up, fake-and-real, on-screen human. Why wouldn't we?

Here, watch the new episode of The Tim Dillon Show. Dillon talks about Tilly Norwood:

"If there was a big, explosive there there.... If it was there, we would have told you."

So said Dan Bongino, the deputy director of the F.B.I., sitting alongside the F.B.I. director Kash Patel, quoted at the end of the previous post. The topic is what does he know about Thomas Crooks, the man who shot Trump's ear.

Here's the Fox News interview where Bongino makes the statement. Listen to his tone, watch his eyes, assess his demeanor. 

I'm noticing this verbal tic, this argument format: If X were true, I would have told you. It's an oft-expressed idea. It's the same idea as "Trust me" or "Would I lie?" But those are laughably ineffectual  expressions these days. 

I'm noticing this new effort at demanding trust. Kash Patel used it on Joe Rogan (talking about the Epstein video): "If there was a video of some guy — or gal — committing felonies — and I'm in charge — don't you think you'd see it?"

I'm paying attention to this after experiencing Tim Dillon's brilliant trashing of Patel. "They're doing 'Who's On First,'" with Joe as Costello and Kash as Abbott:

"Do you think, do you think... when you don your tinfoil hat and and velcro, the chinstrap... that this is a grand plan to destroy civilization?"

Joe Rogan asks Tim Dillon:

Dillon says he doesn't know if there's "a grand plan," but, he says, there are "two things that are happening simultaneously." First, there are "people that believe in like nothing," "like empty suit Gavin Newsom types." And second, there are "the craziest people in the world that somehow have gotten hold of a ton of money and a ton of influence on social media." It's a terribly destructive combination:

Bill Burr goes on "The View" and insults nerds... sexistly.

NEW: Comedian Bill Burr says he is mad at Elon Musk, calls him a "nerd" who doesn't "know how to talk to hot women."

The comments come days after Burr directly compared Elon Musk to Adolf Hitler.

Behar: "Is there anybody getting your ire up more these days than usual?"

Burr:… pic.twitter.com/6aOOtacajl

— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) March 20, 2025

I'm saying it's sexist because of the line: "All these tech nerds that want to build robots because they don’t know how to talk to hot women." This is the kind of sexism you used to hear all the time half a century ago. A negative personality trait — or even just an interest in science or a hobby — would be attributed to a failure to have sexual intercourse. People with very little comic talent would think they were witty to say things like "You need to get laid."

I heard Tim Dillon — who's kind of my favorite comedian — make a similar joke on his podcast that came out on March 13th: "Now I understand there's man children out there that wanna fly rockets to Mars because they can't fly their penis into a vagina."

Did Burr just steal Dillon's joke, sanitize it, and run over to talk about it with the "hot women" on "The View"?!

"He’s still not a populist nationalist, he’s a globalist. He and I have a chasm that is probably insurmountable."

Said Steve Bannon, quoted in "The Populist vs. the Billionaire: Bannon, Musk and the Battle Within MAGA/President Trump has made clear he wants to keep both men and their allies within his movement, but the tensions are growing" (NYT).

Mr. Bannon vigorously disagrees with Mr. Musk’s support for H-1B visas, which allow high-skilled individuals to work in America. Mr. Bannon has also warned that billionaires like Mr. Musk and other tech executives — many of whom supported Democrats before backing Mr. Trump — will abandon the MAGA movement.

For the annals of Things I Asked Grok: "Is this a mixed metaphor: 'He and I have a chasm that is probably insurmountable'?" And: "I think a good writer would see the concrete images behind these words and keep things coordinated. I believe George Orwell — 'Politics and the English Language' — supports my position."

But Bannon wasn't writing. He was speaking. 

Tim Dillon — the comedian who says Trump is a great comedian — does not appreciate Elon Musk as a prop comic in sunglasses.

From the new episode of his podcast (transcript): "So we have Elon Musk, who is up at CPAC, bombing with a chainsaw and doing weird bits.... Americans, by and large do not love Elon Musk.... He is not Donald Trump. Donald Trump kills. Elon Musk does not. Donald Trump's jabs land. Hard. He's a political genius.... You might think he's an idiot. You might hate him.... He's great at what he does. Elon — it doesn't land all the time. It looks like you have sort of... like a weird billionaire talent show.... Where is Trump? Where is the one who got elected, who communicates effectively?...So here is Elon Musk with a prop. He's so high. I do respect how high he is. I do miss and love drugs. I really do miss and love drugs. Oh man, he's high.... 'Chainsaw for bureaucracy.'... "

"Can you play the meme thing where he goes, 'I've become meme' and it just doesn't land... I don't think this is good. This is not good.... I know that he's having fun with it, but there's gotta be a way to present this that where... he seems less high.... I'm just saying walking out on stage with sunglasses and a chainsaw is a little bit of a tell.... Whether they're high on ideas or actual drugs, I don't know. But we need sobriety in this country.... We need a dad... to just go, Hey man, here's the reality. You are outta control right now. You are absolutely out of control.... But this, this is a dad who himself is a little out of control, I think. I think you come home and you see dad with sunglasses and a chainsaw, and you go, my dad's going through something...."

"Emilia Pérez & The New Gaza."

I tried to quote something from this, but it's impossible, and that's how it should be. Live inside it — inhabit it — or skip it altogether. You know which is right for you.

"Here's the way I look at January 6th. Truly. Have you ever been at a party that's gotten out of hand?"

Says Tim Dillon, on the new episode of his podcast:

"That's kinda what happened.... It was a high school party.... It wasn't a civil war.... The kids from the other high school came. And they're a little wild. And things got a little out of hand. And then the really popular quarterback may or may not have egged it on without knowing.... He was like, we're having the best time of our lives tonight. We gotta go out there and have the most fun. No one can tell us how much fun we can have.... He's quarterback. And he was like, we're tonight's our night to make a mark and have the most fun we've ever had. And, and, and this is what happened.... We're all kind of having fun, And it's getting a little wild. It's getting wild. It's getting a little wild. Well, we've all been at those parties where we regret the next day. Everybody looks around and goes, that, that was really nuts.... I can't believe that happened.... It's a regrettable day. Yeah. It's a regrettable day...."

Bill Maher asks about the "fact" that 84% of "gays" "stuck with the Democrats," and Andrew Sullivan doesn't agree with the assertion of fact.

Sullivan: "We don't really know how gays vote.... That's how GLBTQIA+ people vote.... The vast majority — 40% of that — are bisexual women, many of whom are in relationships with straight guys. So we don't know. I'm sure it was a big majority. I'm not sure including a big bunch of of of young women in that will distort it somewhat. I wish we could have polling of gay men and lesbians. Why can't we? Why are we now forced into this bleh?"

I'm using the letters b-l-e-h to represent a Sullivan vocalization that seemed to express the opinion that the GLBTQIA+ grouping is annoyingly large and indistinct. He seems to think gay men and lesbians should be polled as a distinct group and that their opinion is more meaningful than the amorphous grouping that sweeps in the many young woman who call themselves bisexual and may very well be living the most privileged sort of life. Of course these women tend to vote Democratic, but did gay men continue to vote Democratic? Sullivan groups gay men and lesbians together, but why not demand separate polling there too. There is an important difference in the voting of men and women, and why wouldn't that difference also show up among gay people?

ADDED: Tim Dillon says that trans people ought to identify as Republicans:

"Saturday Night Live" did a good job with the election results.

It goes a little long, but stick with it, because one person is much funnier than everyone else...

... and he's not a current cast member.

They did not repeat the inanity of their response to the 2016 election — the sorrowful "Hallelujah" performance by the Hillary impersonator. And I think they realize that as a comedy show, they are better off having Trump as their raw material rather than the dreary, awful Democratic Party.

The basic comedy idea used in the "SNL" cold open last night is very similar to what the brilliant comedian Tim Dillon used in his new podcast, released earlier in the day: Trump detractors are terrified that now Trump will come after them. 

If Trump on the Joe Rogan show was not enough for you...

 ... get ready for JD Vance on the Tim Dillon show — here — in 26 minutes.

"She makes me happy. ... She'll probably lose, but she makes me happy. I like seeing her. It's the joy you have when your best friend, who doesn't have their homework, gets called on...."

"It is the face — your friend confides in you: They did nothing. They go, bro... I didn't open the book. 'Cause this was me in school. Like I didn't open a book. And then they'd call me, and they'd be like: Mr. Dillon, what do you think? And I'd go: I'm trying to create an opportunity economy. Like, I'd say shit kind of like her. She still won't study. Like, she's running for president. She's still won't really even — which is what I like about it! If she was like really trying, I'd find it disturbing. The fact that she's kind of half-assing it on the biggest stage — there is no bigger stage.... She's kind of half-assing it on the largest stage. And... I wanna hang out with her. I wanna have drinks with her. I think she'd be a fun person. 'Cause a few years from now, she's just gonna be somebody fun in California.... She's gonna be like: Remember what I was? They tried to make me President. And we're all gonna laugh about it.... There's so, so much hot-under-the-collar anger at her... but we can't forget that this is essentially just a person who had no idea any of this was going to happen.... She never thought that it was going to happen the way that it happened.... And, she refuses to study. She will not open the book."

Says Tim Dillon, in the new episode of his podcast (audio and transcript at Podscribe).

ADDED: I listened to that as I was out on a walk, but the post I had meant to write — just before I gave in to the whim to do a walk — was based on Maureen Dowd's new column, "Where Is the Fierce Urgency of Beating Trump?" (NYT). And now that I'm getting back to it, it feels like the same idea as Dillon's, just way more polite. Dowd says:

[Kamala Harris] needs to make the case for herself more assertively.It’s hard to understand why she didn’t sit down with a yellow pad or laptop long ago and decide why she wanted to be president, what her top priorities would be and how she would get that stuff done. The Vision Thing. Even when getting softballs from supportive TV hosts, Harris at times seemed unsure of how to answer.

ALSO: Here's the Tim Dillon monologue in video form: 

"Biden's fun. Biden's kind of fun... I don't want to lose him now that he's just not going to be the president. He's fun now...."

Says Tim Dillon near the end of this week's podcast, reacting to Biden's putting on a Trump hat he gets from some old guy at a rally and telling the guy not to eat dogs and cats:

And watch beginning at 24:10 for Tim's critique of the Wall Street Journal piece reassuring readers about the viral video of armed migrants in the corridor of an apartment building in Aurora, Colorado: "This is the Wall Street Journal writing an article telling people to relax, going, hey, why don't you fucking relax, you racist, because what you thought was a full takeover of a building was not — it was just 10 violent Venezuelan prison gang members carrying out a routine operation or something they felt needed to be done.... Thank you, Wall Street Journal.... There are guys in the in the corridor with guns, and they're killing someone, but it's okay. They didn't take over the whole building.... Can you imagine writing this article thinking it lands?...."

Here's the Wall Street Journal piece in case you want to fact-check Tim's mockery: "In Colorado, a Murder and a Viral Video Stoke Fears of Migrant Crime/In exaggerated claim that a Venezuelan gang took over an apartment complex spread quickly through an already-on-edge community."

"Kamala is throwing a party. She doesn't believe in anything. Well, she's flip-flopped. It's not flip-flop."

"She doesn't believe... She wasn't for it before she was against.... It's nothing. It has no foundation in reality. None of it matters. The Democrats are living in a post-reality world of parties. People are twerking. People are singing. There's Yas queening. It it has nothing to do with anything.... You can't touch it it's The Sphere...."

Says Tim Dillon, a third of the way into his podcast that began with a description of his visit to The Sphere in Las Vegas. 

 

"Do you see? The people come in. They herd them in. Come in, fatty, sit in your seat and look: It's pretty colors. It's things that are flying by a mile a minute.... Yes,  play this, play this.... [Plays clip of women twerking at a Harris rally]... That's right, this is the campaign. These are the policies.... This is what you're going to get. These are the policies. This is what you're voting for... and by the way this is brilliant.... If Kamala Harris did not exist, billionaires would have to invent her.... She is hollow in in the best way...."

Dillon takes the position that the candidate that throws the best party will win, and he weaves that into a critique of the inane Sphere and the awful Darren Aronofsky movie — "Postcard from Earth" — he paid $300 to see there.

Dillon's comic rant merged with my own thinking on the subject — about why Kamala Harris avoids any substantive interactions with anyone. The lack of substance is her substance, and it is exactly what will work. America wants a show about nothing — to use the old "Seinfeld" phrase. Or... as I've said a few times around here: Better than nothing is a high standard. 

Nothing is a good bet. Stick to nothing. Trump has a lot of baggage. Kamala is unburdened by what has been.

People think they're attacking her when they put up a montage like that, but it is a testament to genius.

"This CNN anchor is saying Trump sent a bad message by saying fight fight fight... So the President who had just been shot was sending a divisive message?"

"Can you imagine these people? The president who had just been shot was at fault for the divisiveness, having just been shot. The guy who got shot, who almost died, who a bullet missed his head by, you know centimeters, I mean... it's crazy.... and somebody's on CNN going: Actually, we felt the message was a bit divisive. We're actually disappointed in the wording. We don't love the wording of that. I wish he had kind of workshopped that a bit as he was being bloodily dragged off the stage by the Secret Service. I wish he had kind of — I don't know— taken people's temperature more. We're trying to ramp it down.... Was that the Secret Service trying to ramp it down when there's nobody on the fucking roof? Is that what they were trying to do? Trying to ramp it down a week ago Biden goes: Let's put him in the bullseye?..."

Tim Dillon ridicules the civility bullshit: