"Harvard law student hopes to buy a Segway after his $1M ‘Survivor’ win."

ABA Journal covers John Cochran's win:

He told the Hollywood Reporter he would like to spend some of the prize money on a Segway, a new apartment, investments and "a lot of wireless gizmos and stuff."

On the finale, Cochran said he would like to become a writer rather than a lawyer. Asked about his paper about Survivor, Cochran told the Hollywood Reporter it was “basically Survivor for Dummies” and wasn’t that great....

“It wasn't showing any great insight into how to manage the Survivor jury,” Cochran said. “It gave maybe a brief overview of maybe what sort of strategies work and what don't, but it's not especially insightful. That's why I haven't released it. It's just gonna shatter everyone's illusions that I've written some sort of brilliant thing. It's not brilliant at all. It's embarrassing, so I'm gonna keep it a mystery."

Ha ha. Is the new book going to be insight into Survivor or insight into modesty? Or... may I recommend... a memoir of traveling around America on a Segway? If so, scoot through Madison, Wisconsin, because we love those things around here.

"We’re making a safe motorcycle."

Is that a motorcycle? 

The C1 is gyroscopically stabilized – sort of along the lines of a Segway – so it can’t tip over.

Do 2 wheels, motorized, make a motorcycle? Isn't there a soul to the thing? A soul that has something to do with exposure — danger... freedom.... Ah! Here's the picture I'm looking for:



I took that picture in Augusta, Kentucky back in 2009.

Too much -pie: 3 Occupies in 6 days.

Occupy Lincoln, Occupy Denver, and Occupy Austin... experienced in less than a week.

The last couple seconds — which are not part of the protest — show something Meade and I call "an army of Jeremys."

At Occupy Madison, the occupation is accomplished not so much with human beings.

It's more... vegetables and corrugated cardboard:



Who knew you could claim an entire city park for yourself with litter? "Occupy Everything," indeed.



Later, there are a few more folks there, all male, for some reason...



... or maybe you can see the reason.



"This is CLASS WARFARE."

"I will buy a pink Segway before I spend a nickle on any goddamn government car.."

"... Including a ZR-1. U.S. OUT OF DETROIT."

I had to Google ZR-1. Then, I screamed.

But I've got to say: If the Segway hadn't already been made, the Obama administration would have funneled hundreds of millions of public money into developing it. And it would still only be ridden by that one guy, and as he scoots by, everybody who sees him thinks: No way!

"A special adaptation of Segway Inc.'s dynamic stabilization technology and a wider track maximize stability, while the x2's higher ground clearance ensures that steep hills, uneven trails, and errant rocks won't impede your ride."

And when you get to the point where you want the ride impeded... it will be too late.

The owner of Segway rides a Segway off a cliff...

... and dies.

"Entrepreneurs tend to have a singular weakness that allows them to do things without checking their conscience."

"Juvenile delinquents act and then try to sort things out afterward. I think entrepreneurs have this tendency."

Entrepreneurs don't care what you think. They're going to do what they want.

"I'm not stopping. It would be an act of shallow cowardice." Sounds juvenile delinquent-y, doesn't it? It's actually what the Segway entrepreneur keeps telling himself.

ADDED: Gordon Smith thinks entrepreneurs are too varied to be stereotyped — which is, I think, a slam on the whole idea of applying psychology generically.

The new Segway.

All the wires and machinery have been removed from the top. To tell you the truth, I'd love to have one of these things for getting around Madison, even though I think it might be embarrassing. Would it look too ridiculous? Can they handle the snow and ice? But do you really think think the fear of looking dorky is the real reason these things haven't caught on? They're just too expensive! Segway, Inc. missed its chance to be a big sensation because people who would have risked riding one just couldn't bring themselves to pay $5,000 to see how it would work.

Bonus advice to Segway: Give a hundred of them away to bloggers.

Do Segways increase or decrease air pollution?

As the New York State Legislature considers whether to classify the Segway as a motorized vehicle (like a car) or a a "personal assistive mobility device" (like a wheelchair), environmentalists are taking the position that the Segway increases air pollution by troubling pedestrians, pressuring them to switch to using cars.

I switched from walking to work, which I did for fifteen years, to driving, in part because I got quite annoyed by people bicycling on the sidewalk. Bicyclists at least know they are wrong, but rationalize that they need to protect themselves from cars. But Segways supposedly belong on the sidewalk, yet on most sidewalks, if two people are walking together, there is not enough room for the Segway to pass them. The thing clearly seems capable of knocking you down. There don't seem to be enough of them right now to matter much. They simply haven't caught on. (Because you look like a dork riding one?) People are tolerant of carelessly driven motorized wheelchairs -- which I see a lot of -- but insensitively driven Segways are going to drive pedestrians crazy.

Which is an environmental problem.

Something French.

Americans have largely shunned the Segway, it seems, because you just look too damned foolish riding one. I mean, this says it all, doesn't it?

Aren't the French supposed to be -- or at least look -- more sophisticated than us? How then can you explain this? (That's one of a number of pictures from Paris, by my colleague, Nina Camic. For more, go to her blog and scroll down.)

Fall movie preview.

The big Fall movie preview issue of Entertainment Weekly arrived in the mail today, and on the cover is my personal favorite actor, Johnny Depp. Not only is he clean shaven now, but he's got his hair combed back quite elegantly and he's wearing a suit. He looks quite like my father in the pencil drawing that I keep on the mantel. I'm having a bit of trouble getting past the cover! Hmm… the cover folds out and there are sixteen small pictures of various Fall movie stars. One of them is Maggie Gyllenhall, who looks uncannily like my own mother as a young girl. Okay, I'm finished with the cover. On to the magazine. Here's what caught my eye:

1. "Seinfeld" is coming out on DVD with "deleted scenes, blooper reels, an alternate version of the pilot, and cast commentaries."

2. Ereka Vetrini, Omarosa's nemesis from "The Apprentice," will be Tony Danza's sidekick on the new "Tony Danza Show." It's a talk show. Yeah, Ereka can talk.

3. Jamie Foxx, playing the role of Ray Charles in the biopic "Ray, " "wore prosthetics (modeled on Charles' actual eyes) to simulate the singer's blindness." He asserts that this was needed to avoid "cheating" as he moved around. It would be unaesthetic without prosthetics. But acting is faking it in all sorts of ways. Among the great actors who played blind sans eye prosthetics are: Audrey Hepburn and Bette Davis and Gabrielle Anwar and Patty Duke and Virginia Cherrill. The movies seem to prefer blind women to blind men, but I note the great Mr. Muckle in my all-time favorite comedy "It's a Gift." And the guy in "Butterflies Are Free." Ah! The best performance by a male actor as a blind character was Al Pacino. Hmm… and there was good old Gabrielle Anwar as his love interest. What has become of of Gabrielle anyway? Oh, and another fine performance by a male as a blind character was Gene Hackman. It seems blind men are funny and blind women are dramatic. You can think about why, and think about whether Foxx's film will be a hit. He sure looks like Ray Charles in the photograph. He's also, according to EW, a fine pianist--he went to college on a piano scholarship. So he'll be doing all the piano playing as Ray. Nice fact to know: Ray Charles, who died in June, was able to witness the final cut of the film.

4. John Travolta and Joaquin Phoenix play firefighters in "Ladder 49," which is supposed to be better than "Backdraft," which real firefighters hate (because it's unrealistic). The filmmakers want you to think "Black Hawk Down."

5. They remade "Alfie," with Jude Law as Michael Caine. I've never bothered to watch the Michael Caine one, so why should I care? Well, Law is much cuter than Caine.

6. So what's the Christian Bale diet? "I just didn't eat." He got down to 120 pounds (he's 6'2"). He also only slept 2 hours a night. What role required all that? Some paranoid guy in "The Machinist." He's bulked back up for "Batman."

7. New Alexander Payne movie. "Sideways." I loved "Election" and "After Schmidt" was pretty good. Good lord, this new film is set in a wine-tasting milieu!

8. "The Grudge"—they've hired the director of the original Japanese film ("Ju-on") to do the Hollywood version. Takashi Shimizu. It stars Sarah Michelle Gellar, who looks just like Gwyneth Paltrow in this picture.

9. Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet together at last! "Finding Neverland." A biopic of J.M. Barrie. I hope it's good, because this is one I'd like to see.

10. Kevin Spacey directs himself in a biopic of Bobby Darin. "Beyond the Sea." How could that possibly be good? Spacey is eight years older than Darin was when he died. And who is interested in the life of Bobby Darin? That's just crazy! It seems the only reason for this is that Spacey has always looked a bit like Bobby Darin. What's next for Kevin? A biopic of Lee Harvey Oswald?

11. It's biopic year for the Oscar-craving actors as Leonardo DiCaprio plays Howard Hughes (with Martin Scorsese directing) in "The Aviator." There really is some fascination in seeing Cate Blanchett impersonate Katharine Hepburn and Kate Beckinsale impersonate Ava Gardner.

12. Jim Carey as Lemony Snickett. He rides a Segway. Okay.

13. "Proof," "Closer" … I guess I'm supposed to care about these Oscar-y productions. I'll wait for the reviews. And even if they are good, I'll probably resist, because I still remember getting hoodwinked into seeing "The Hours." Prestige movies for women: leave me alone!

14. Then there's the question: What Don Cheadle movies can I see in December? There's "Hotel Rwanda," in which Cheadle plays the role of Paul Rusesabagina, who saved the lives of 1200 Tutsis in 1994 (a great story). And there's "The Assassination of Richard Nixon," a political thriller that also stars Sean Penn and Naomi Watts.

15. They're making a film of "Get Smart," with perfect casting: Steve Carell.

16. A current film I'd buy right now if it were on DVD: "Los Angeles Plays Itself." It's a documentary about L.A. as it appears in the movies.

17. Ah! Finally, a decent DVD of "Purple Rain." Make sure you get the 20th Anniversary version. Don't buy this one.