"Even knowing Charles was juggling multiple partners, I never doubted how important I was to him..."

"... because he never left an information gap for me to fill in. He told me all the time how special I was; he’d message me to let me know how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. Lack of appreciation makes your partner needy and insecure, not sharing your time and attention with work, friends or family."

From an inanely glib Salon list of lessons about marriage that one woman purports to have extracted from the experience of "dating" one man who was — with permission — having sex with women other than his wife.

ADDED: In the comments, MRG tells me: "No, they were lessons about relationships, not marriage." I look back to the (inane) article to check my reading. Inane things must be read correctly too. The lessons from the married man apply, the author says, to her "new, monogamous relationship."

I see that I read "monogamous" to mean: married to only one person. 

I check the (unlinkable) Oxford English Dictionary, and of course, my meaning is the correct original and literal meaning. But: "Now also (in extended use): remaining faithful to one person during the course of a sexual relationship other than marriage."

The historical quote signaling the arrival of the extended-use meaning is from 1987: "Throughout my twenties, I had superromantic, monogamous love affairs with passionate orgasms from intercourse."

The quote is from Betty Dodson (b. 1929) in "Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving."

Here's a very recent article about Dodson in The Guardian, and the picture of her at the age of 81 made me wonder whether whether one of the joys of self-loving was the preservation of a startlingly youthful appearance. Oh, I see the article addresses this: Dodson attributes her looks to "masturbation, pot and raw garlic." Also:

Although she was described as one of the "early feminists" by Gloria Steinem, she felt out of place in the consciousness-raising groups of the time. "I always thought sex was a top-priority issue," she says, pouring herself a whisky. "Feminists like Gloria Steinem thought it was private." (She chuckles, "I love Gloria. I used to call her 'the general'.")...

"They're afraid of sex because they say it's too controversial. But I feel it's because they're personally too conflicted. They don't want to masturbate, they want Prince Charming. It's Walt Disney. Puke. Barfarama."...

Dodson conducts workshops:

"In the workshop we share our orgasm with the group while being in control of our own clitoris," she says, explaining that the class consists of a "genital show-and-tell" followed by masturbation in a circle. Betty has been known to help out with her vibrator. "No wonder I keep doing it. Are you kidding? The sounds, the sights, the smells. Fat, skinny, one tit gone. Women are so beautiful."

"She doesn't believe in monogamy."

[W]omen are "so addicted to romantic love. It's the heaviest drug in the world and we make long-lasting bad decisions because of it. You get married, you give up sex. Pretty much count on it."...

Her message – keep up a sexual relationship with yourself, you can have first-rate orgasms by yourself; stop doing what you think your partner wants to see in bed – seems more necessary than ever in an age when increasing pornification of our culture is making these ideals harder for women.

My message — keep up your own stream of consciousness, you can have first-rate conversations inside your own head; stop writing what you think your reader wants to see in a blog – seems more necessary than ever in an age when increasing social mediafication of our culture is making these ideals harder for bloggers.

That is to say: I digress.