King meets President... and the ladies who carry pocketbooks meet the lady who carries only herself.

The wind kicks up as the King steps forward and all the many ladies' hats threaten to undercut the extreme dignity. The First Lady waits until she's duly shaken hands with the King before she reaches up — at 16:57 — to steady her headgear.

Stick around until 18:35, and you won't be sorry, unless you hate horses, white horses, arrayed in fairy-tale style.

It's the King's very best carriage, lavishly festooned with gold leaf, the very frippery Trump's haters deplore in the Oval Office. Their slogan plays in my head: No Kings!

At 23:13, I get the answer to the question that's been puzzling me: How do they keep the horses from shitting? (They don't.)

I had thought there was no music, that somehow silence was the soundscape for the event, but at 24:07 I see musicians and notice faint music. Perhaps there was music all along and a telephoto lens on the camera is creating the illusion that it is much closer than it seems. The faint music informs us of our great distance from these illustrious characters.

At 25:00, the music is (or seems) louder. It's "The Star-Spangled Banner." A song about fighting the British. 

"The women have historically served as a combination of brood mares and mannequins. Their job is to stay thin, say little..."

"... look good in clothes, and produce heirs who will stay thin, say little and look good in clothes. (Prince Philip was said to have approved of Diana’s entry into the family because she would 'breed in some height.') When something threatens the reputation of a more senior, male Windsor, the women have another essential role: human shield. Has King Edward VIII abdicated and run off to France to be with Wallis Simpson? Let’s be sure to blame the American divorcée. Has Prince Charles taken a mistress? Blame his mom for not letting her son marry his true love; blame his wife for not keeping him faithful — oh, and call the mistress ugly. Has Prince Harry declined to perform his family duties and decamped for sunny California? Let’s blame his 'narcissistic' wife for ensorcelling him!"

Writes Jennifer Weiner, in "How the Windsor Women Became Human Shields" (NYT).

It had seemed, until recently, that "Catherine might become the rule-proving exception, the single privileged Windsor wife allowed to float above the fray." But then something popped in her abdomen.

"It feels like you’re almost handling it badly in an impressive way at this point."

John Oliver is wondering what’s going on with Kate Middleton! #WWHL pic.twitter.com/vNAxWzj5Uc

— Watch What Happens Live! (@BravoWWHL) March 13, 2024

For the truly graceful, a baby's burp is a sumptuous opportunity.

It’s not every day that the Princess of Wales is interrupted by a massive burp 👶
She’s in Nuneaton chatting to parents and health visitors about her new NHS trial that monitors the emotional well-being of newborns pic.twitter.com/M1FONyHbCf

— Victoria Ward (@victoria_ward) June 15, 2023

"It wasn't as good as it should have been."

And your next Bingo callers are…#ThankYouCareWorkers pic.twitter.com/iz7XWI1oku

— The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (@KensingtonRoyal) May 21, 2020

"I got about half way through this and realized I have absolutely no interest in these Instagram accounts, or the mystery — whatever it is."

That's the second-highest-rated comment on the really long NYT article, "A Royal Instagram Mystery/Two royal couples, two Instagram accounts, one conspiracy theory."

The highest-rated comment is:

I know I'm alone in my thinking but having a "brand" and putting your entire life on Instagram (owned by Facebook) strikes me as quite tawdry, especially when you exploit your children in the process. Whether a Royal or a Hollywood star, the shamelessness, the egomaniacal way famous people present themselves in order to self promote and make money is sickening. Whatever happened to mystery, decorum, privacy, and discretion? I do not go on Instagram and never will. It also seems so hypocritical that Meghan left England because she did not want to be the focus of the British press but she is doing all she can to become as famous as possible. You can't seek fame and then complain about the scrutiny you might receive.

"ABC News anchor Amy Robach was caught on camera slamming her own network for allegedly sitting on the Jeffrey Epstein story three years ago...."

"Robach says she’d spoken to Virginia Roberts Giuffre, who alleges Epstein used her as a sex slave and trafficked her to his powerful friends, including Britain’s Prince Andrew. 'I’ve had this interview with Virginia Roberts .. we would not put it on the air,' Robach says on camera. 'First of all, I was told "Who’s Jeffrey Epstein?"... Then the palace found out that we had her whole allegations about Prince Andrew and threatened us a million different ways.' She went on to say the network was afraid that running the story would prevent interviews with Kate Middleton and and Prince William. 'It was unbelievable what we had. [Bill] Clinton—we had everything. I tried for three years to get it on to no avail and now it’s all coming out and it’s like these new revelations.'"

The Daily Beast reports on the newly released video you can watch below. Amy Robach is the journalist who got Hunter Biden to cry (in that long interview last month).

BREAKING: @abcnews anchor @arobach caught on 'hot mic' in August disgustedly exposing networks decision to strategically spike bombshell investigation into Jefferey Esptein over THREE YEARS AGO.

Says what she had was "unbelievable" #EpsteinCoverup: https://t.co/HagfLpwKDn pic.twitter.com/fPvJc3JCCQ

— James O'Keefe (@JamesOKeefeIII) November 5, 2019

"Congratulations & best wishes to the Earl & Countess of Strathearn."

Tweeted the Scottish prime minister, Alex Salmond, using the Scottish titles for Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge (Kate Middleton), who've just announced the expected birth of their second child. Salmond is in the process of campaigning for Scotland's independence.

"The Duchess explained that she would like to be portrayed naturally — her natural self — as opposed to her official self."

So says the artist of the official painting that is apparently horrifying people.

"If this has worked, it's the easiest prank call we've ever made. Your accent sucked, by the way."

Here's the full audio of the prank call that led the person who was fooled by the call to commit suicide:



It's a completely ridiculous Queen imitation, and they obviously expected to be laughed at immediately. They were entirely unprepared for success. And they make it very funny.

How much outrage/blame/consequences should come down on these 2 djs, Mel Greig and Michael Christian?

The London nurse whose shocking death followed a cruel radio prank will be laid to rest in her native India was found dead after she was globally humiliated by two Australian deejays posing as Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles.

What was "cruel" about it? It's only cruel retrospectively because the woman — Jacintha Saldanha — killed herself, presumably out of humiliation for being so incredibly stupid and careless.

Should pranking end? Howard Stern has been doing calls like this for many years. And what about the prankster who claimed to be David Koch and got through to Governor Scott Walker? Many people found that hilarious. And I'll bet there are people who think it would be hilarious to say: It would have been even more hilarious if Scott Walker had reacted by committing suicide.

Pranking is what it is. Stupid, but potentially hilarious. It has a special role to play in puncturing pomposity, and if you listen through the Greig and Christian call, you'll hear the satire of royalty. Royalty deserves that! I don't know what all went through the suicide's head, but I suspect she took royalty very very seriously. Should we have more seriousness, more deference toward our superiors?

Which way lies suicide? I say more pranking, more satire, more laughs and unseriousness.

And by the way, the suicide, with her heavy respect for royalty, has laid a horrible burden on the very person she presumably intended to show respect for: Kate Middleton. But you know, it's possible the suicide intended to express hostility and to hurt the royal family, which she did, in fact, wound terribly. It should be a time of great joy for Kate and the rest of the bunch, but now everyone is talking about and sympathizing with this previously unknown nurse. There's much more to the story. How was Saldanha treated by her coworkers and supervisors? Isn't that the location of the cruelty?

"A hospital nurse caring for the Duchess of Cambridge, who was duped by two DJs pretending to be the Queen and Prince Charles..."

"... is understood to have committed suicide."

The DJs... apologized for the hoax — sheepishly noting that they were surprised that the call was put through and that their Australian accents were not detected.

"Kate Middleton's pregnancy: 10 stories I don't want to read."

Aw, come on. We're not supposed to amuse ourselves with the reproduction of the royals?

"Their Royal Highnesses had every expectation of privacy in the remote house.

"It is unthinkable that anyone should take such photographs, let alone publish them... The incident is reminiscent of the worst excesses of the press and paparazzi during the life of Diana, Princess of Wales, and all the more upsetting to the Duke and Duchess for being so."

"Ann Romney slammed for $990 shirt, Michelle Obama praised for $6,800 jacket."

What a sharply tailored double standard!

But let's take a closer look. Michelle Obama was consorting with royalty and representing the United States at a very posh event of the highest importance to Great Britain. Her clothes had to express our country's respect. They had to be completely appropriate and a thorough defense against criticism, as she would be minutely examined by hundreds of millions of persons, many of whom love to slag her, especially when they get their hands on pictures of her next to Kate Middleton, the #1 fashion icon in the world, whom the Brits love to fawn over and adore. Do you think that's was all narcissistic fun for Michelle? Remember last time she was photographed with Kate? Everyone went wild over Kate's simple beige dress, while Michelle stood there in something very shiny and colorful that ended up looking really awful. There was a lot of pressure to get it right this time, and she did. It was pretty, it was flattering, it was not overly showy, and it was appropriate for the occasion.

Ann Romney was going on TV in that $990 shirt. It was just another public appearance. She needed to look pretty and appropriate, but there was no gala event and no anticipation of comparisons with other women. She could have worn a $25 long-sleeved black top and been perfectly fine. No one would have thought to ask about it. But she wore a top with a giant photograph of a yellow fish printed across her chest. Of course everyone's going to talk about it. Naturally, we found out the price of the shirt. We wanted to know all about it. It was so in our face, that fish face. Ann Romney and her stylists chose to make us talk about her fish shirt. They knew many of us would be flummoxed by the style, that we'd hear the price, and we'd be all you paid a thousand dollars for that?! It's not just that the very rich lady wears thousand-dollar shirts. It was that particular shirt. It shouted at us that she wanted to be judged as a style icon. She wanted to stir it up. Maybe she wanted at least some of us to think: It will really be fun to have her as our First Lady.

In short: This isn't proof of a double standard. The 2 things compared are not equivalent. (And I'm currently really disgusted with the extreme pro-Obama bias in the press. It was going to be the first thing I blogged about this morning, but I got distracted. So I am absolutely not a defender of the neutrality of the press.)

"What else an one expect from a Republican magazine, they probably dislike themselves."

Outrage over photoshopping Kate Middleton's teeth for a magazine cover about how something's "rotten" in Great Britain. But the magazine is The New Republic... not the New Republican.

"Many in India are asking whether the woman routinely referred to as the most beautiful in the world..."

"... and who occupies a place in Indian popular culture akin to Kate Middleton or Victoria Beckham, has an obligation to her fans to lose weight."

6-months after giving birth, Aishwarya Rai hasn't found her way back to that pre-pregnancy look.