"On one end, there’s the unmissable thigh-baring hemlines.... On the other side, you have the slouchier, below-the-knee joint.... [One fashion writer] cites
that photo of Giorgio Armani on the phone as 'the Bible' for shorts right now. And then there’s
the ongoing John F. Kennedy Jr. cosplay, as sparked by
Love Story. 'Last summer, short shorts were everywhere. Now, a lot of men are like,
"Oh, but JFK Jr. wore baggier shorts. Let’s ditch the short short...."' Of course, there will always be the extremes. Some guys prefer the ultra-trendy, downtown look of giant,
capri-like shorts with white socks and black leather shoes.... But... 'In the city and polite society, you kind of want your shorts hovering right at the knee.'"
Who knew men were in such a quandary about the length of their shorts? One solution is don't wear shorts or don't wear shorts whenever you care how you look.
I'm interested in the notion that there is "ongoing John F. Kennedy Jr. cosplay" — interested enough to look up "cosplay" in the OED. Cosplay involves not just dressing up like a character but also performing as that character. Who would even know if you were performing the role of JFK Jr.? You'd know. And maybe that's all that matters.
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I have been able to find stretchy dress pants that are super lightweight with enough pockets that dry almost instantly for 20$.
I can drop the collared shirt for 10 minutes hit the gym and go back to work before I start sweating.
The only thing that stop you from swimming in them is drag.
Shorts are good for sleeping in.
Who knew men were in such a quandary about the length of their shorts?
"Men" are not. Some subset of "men" might be (metrosexuals, gays, urban-dwellers, TikTokkers, artists, Democrats, lefties, look-maxxers), but they are in quandaries about many things, fashion being only one.
Jack Paar used to wear a tux with Bermudas.
I moved to Florida specifically so I could wear shorts 365.
There's no such thing as capri-like shorts. They're capris.
Bring back knickerbockers! That would look jaunty.
I like that Armani photo, but how old is it? I haven't seen a phone with an antenna in ages.
I know Althouse has a sports exception to the shorts scolding. With the World Cup looming, there will be hundreds of 20-something foreigners running around stadiums in our cities in athletic shorts. Lots of people will be in jerseys cosplaying their favorite player.
It occurs to me that American team sports are dominated by long pants-wearing players, except for the sport that resembles soccer the most, basketball. At least in terms of angles, moving off the ball, passing lanes, defending a goal and attacking a goal at all times, one v one match ups in the context of an integrated offensive or defense scheme, etc. Maybe shorts are need in a game that requires players to play both offensive and defense at the same time (hockey too but ice changes that rule).
Hooters length for the ladies, Bird-Magic era for the men. If you've got it, flaunt it!
Cabala 5" inseam cargo shorts are best for cycling.
We are all cosplaying as ourselves. Jung called that our persona. I won't boar you with the voluminous text and references, but Gemini agrees with me.
$500 for shorts? Those pictures are not of men.
I was in court this morning for a replevin hearing (which is done in the small claims court here) and two men in separate cases appeared in court wearing shorts. Not the fancy JFK Jr. type shorts either.
"...Anyone who has sat down in a pair of Patagonia Baggies has experienced the quiet indignity of accidentally revealing too much thigh....."
Oh, Margaret.
You haven’t truly cosplayed JFK, Jr. until you’ve piloted an plane into a fog bank and spiraled into the sea.
I rewatched The Sand Pebbles last week. The officers wore shorts that extended about 3/4 of the way down the thigh. Main Stem Stop Wow
Now, a lot of men are like, "Oh, but JFK Jr. wore baggier shorts. Let’s ditch the short short...."'
No man has actually said that. But the people who make money in fashion, and the people who make money covering fashion, understand that engaging in fiction is good for their bottom lines.
I clicked on the GQ article. (Wearing correct length shorts is one of my priorities in life.) In the article they feature some shorts that you could purchase for $540 and some others from Banana Republic for only $90......Does anyone know anyone who would buy a pair of shorts for $540 or, for that matter, $90, I guess if you want to cosplay JFK Jr, you need his bucks.
Who knew men were in such a quandary about the length of their shorts?
Men who frequent tony vacation enclaves worry about this stuff until they don’t…
I wear shorts pretty much every day all year round because I am up early and running. Sometimes I'll go straight my my business afterwards and carry on wearing shorts all day, but if I go home for any reason, then I do the civilized thing and change into trousers and proper shoes because I am not a child.
It’s really all about the fabric. If you wear the right fabric, you will be comfortable in long pants, if not, well you might insist on wearing shorts. The thing is that the really good fabrics are not cheap.
There was a time when men knew all about fabrics.
The wife and I once chose incorrectly to walk from upper east side to the coca cola building in midtown. It was well below freezing so I had the brilliant idea to walk into a warm Vilbrequin store to buy a swimsuit for an upcoming trip. Not looking at the price I almost passed out when I saw the receipt. It was an inappropriate price. I still have it and will never get my money’s worth…
I wear one leg well above the knee and one well below.
With white socks and sandals of course.
…I like to think they’re using the term cosplay in a facetious or tongue in cheek way.
Now do women in track suits. Especially women’s curling, where the track suits and the brooms make them look like cleaning ladies, thus ending the short viewership boom in the sport.
One thing I don't understand is why the PGA doesn't let their players wear shorts. Just about every recreational golfer wears shorts whenever the weather permits (above 60 degrees, as far as I can tell, but a substantial percentage wear shorts in the 50's), and hardly anybody buys those $125 golf slacks.
It seems like a yuge marketing opportunity. Wear a pair of those UnderArmor plaid shorts that Spieth was wearing last week!
I do notice that the sports clothing companies are now putting the players in pleated slacks. Which is great for cheap bastards like me who never got rid of the old ones.
Pretty much all of my shorts -- for tennis, workouts, or casual wear -- are 9" inseam. In the old days, '70s and '80s, my shorts inseam was maybe half of that. Here in L.A., I bet I wear shorts 50% of the time. I don't have "formal" shorts. I remember a trip to Bermuda and saw guys wearing Bermuda shorts.
Nowadays, a key feature for me, zippered slash front pockets.
I went longer shorts in the '90s after the Michigan Fab Five hoops team started going baggy. I doubt I go back to classic length tennis shorts.
It’s a pro thing. They do or did used to be allowed to wear shorts in practice rounds…the pros I play with in Miami told me the secret to long golf pants is summer weight wool. I went home and ordered three pair from a new fangled custom shop, requesting the appropriate wool. The shitheads in Hong Kong took it upon themselves to correct my order for ‘golf pants’ by making them out of cotton. 😵💫
10 months out of the year (and parts of the other two, AZ) I exist solely in Dockers Perfect Shorts. When not in exercise mode, in which Champion 9" inseam jersey shorts.
You will have to pry both out of my cold, dead. . . .waist.
I did not know that Men’s shorts were a fashion item. I still wear my 20 year old LLBean cargo shorts (6 inches) that never go out of style.
"Who knew men were in such a quandary about the length of their shorts?"
GQ knew.
Playing the part of JFK Jr.:
The most heavily criticized and reckless decision JFK Jr. made was his fatal 1999 flight, where he chose to pilot a Piper Saratoga at night into poor weather conditions. He was not instrument-certified, flew with a broken ankle that impaired his ability to operate the aircraft's rudder, and ignored expert warnings and his instructor's offer to act as a co-pilot, resulting in the deaths of himself, his wife, and his sister-in-law.
The most heavily criticized and reckless decision JFK Jr. made was his fatal 1999 flight, where he chose to pilot a Piper Saratoga at night into poor weather conditions. He was not instrument-certified, flew with a broken ankle that impaired his ability to operate the aircraft's rudder, and ignored expert warnings and his instructor's offer to act as a co-pilot, resulting in the deaths of himself, his wife, and his sister-in-law.
Because when you are a Kennedy none of the rules apply to you. None.
If people are going to critique my pants, I'm just not going to wear any. Now what length should THIS be?
I think shorts are only a quandary up north. Here in South Florida they're survival. All styles count, all styles work.
But if anyone is seen wearing "giant, capri-like shorts with white socks and black leather shoes" it will be assumed they're from Nantucket or Provincetown. Possibly Miami. But then you see everything in Miami.
Schrödinger's shorts : they're long, short, both, neither, and all styles at once...
I say bring back the jeans cutoff shorts of 1976. Give the mid-Boomers a last hurrah.
1976 men's jean cutoff shorts were typically DIY creations resulting from wearing out the knees of standard jeans, rather than pre-made retail products which were rare in the early-to-mid 70s.
These shorts were characterized by frayed hems, often featuring pockets that hung below the cut-off fringe
..."He was not instrument-certified, flew with a broken ankle that impaired his ability to operate the aircraft's rudder, and ignored expert warnings and his instructor's offer to act as a co-pilot, resulting in the deaths of himself, his wife, and his sister-in-law.
Because when you are a Kennedy none of the rules apply to you. None...."
I'd say the rule of gravity re-asserted itself pretty well, Kennedy or (as it turned out) no Kennedy.
AFTCO original fishing shorts are the correct length.
@Aggie, a more important rule: “It is much, much better to be down on the ground wishing you were up in the air, than to be up in the air wishing you were safely down on the ground.”
Bob Weir nostalgia.
That was a totally legal VFR flight in VFR conditions.
JFK, Jr. died in 1999. Today's young people probably have no idea who he was, nor do they care.
I prefer the Armani style, except I don’t like the way it pleats—makes him look like a bagman, wearing someone else’s pants held up with a rope for a belt.
I live in Florida where shorts are comfortable almost every day of the year. I like cargo shorts because the pockets are convenient. I like the length to fall around the knee; I have no interest in short shorts. And I don't care about fashion.
In my long-lost youth the fashion was for Madras Bermuda shorts, just above the knee. Now, in my dotage, my calves are not really presentable, and I have no wish to dress like a teenager.
The expected time before disorientation and/or loss of control, for an unrated pilot flying into instrument conditions (e.g. fog) is short. Very short. (30 seconds). Regardless of inseam length.
EVERY pilot knows this. A few are stupid or careless or unlucky, and die.
Althouse, you'll take my shorts when you pry them from my cold dead hands.
Howard said...
That was a totally legal VFR flight in VFR conditions
Howard and pettifoggery.
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