"Nine months later, she tried to kill herself by overdosing and had to be put on a ventilator for two weeks. Ultimately, she said, no amount of medication or therapy can make her whole again and that she 'can’t wait' to die. She’s already chosen what she will wear on her deathbed and told the Daily Mail that Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars’ 'Die With A Smile' will be playing as she passes on.... [Duffy said] she paid Pegasos, a Swiss assisted-dying nonprofit organization, $13,500 to euthanize herself under its care... This time, she said she wants it to be 'neater.' 'I could step off a motorway bridge or a tower block but that would leave anyone finding me dealing with that for the rest of their lives,' she said."
Did you think it was possible to fall asleep while eating and choke to death? Sit up, pay attention, or don't eat. You could kill yourself and kill your mother.
A horrible similar case involving just one person:
Sparklehorse (Mark Linkous) overmedicated/drugged himself, passed out, and laid on his own legs all night. This caused severe medical problems thereafter. Then, he later committed suicide per addiction issues and a general awful social world.
Linkous passed out in his hotel bathroom as the result of an adverse interaction between his antidepressants and the Rohypnol—aka Mexican Valium—he took to help with his insomnia. The following morning, a hotel maid found him in a position where the circulation to his legs had been cut off overnight.
Nowhere does it say that a sandwich was involved. The son might have been intoxicated, or he could have had narcolepsy. Or food poisoning, or an allergic reaction, or dysphagia.
If not otherwise impaired, if you fell asleep with food in your mouth or throat, I would think you would start to reflexively cough and wake up. There’s more to the son’s death than a simple choking, imho.
"Did you think it was possible to fall asleep while eating and choke to death? Sit up, pay attention, or don't eat. You could kill yourself and kill your mother."
Isn't she making her own choice? Yes. I get the sarcasm. But even so...
I know two people who died by - no, I'm going to say it the old way because of what happened next: who committed suicide, one by shotgun and one by hanging. Both were discovered by their teenage kids. Horrible.
Philosophically I am against MAID and everything like it, but I do have sympathy for people with terminal conditions whose suffering brings them to a state where they just want it to end. I'm conflicted, in those cases. This mother - I can't imagine the pain of having to carry on living after a child dies. But lots of people do it, and I wish she could find the strength to do so. You never know how your life (or your death) is going to affect others.
I can see someone choking to death while eating in bed. But why would anyone assume that he fell asleep when eating? How would you even know this? I mean really, HOW? I can only assume the bedclothes weren't in disarray as you might expect from someone flailing about trying to dislodge this tomato. Maybe he wasn't the type to flail. Who knows, but to assume he choked while asleep is a real stretch.
Those cases mentioned earlier in the comments involved people incapacitated by drugs and had no idea of what was happening. No drug use was mentioned in this case.
If you look through your posts, you’ll find a NYT (maybe New Yorker) article on Ozempic and a mother of a bride to be that asphyxiated while trying to lose weight before the wedding. It is still a risk / side affect of such drugs, but yeah, you just wake up and sit up. You can also not overeat or cut back on carbs that cause reflux.
When I was a child, my mom would occasionally - I would even say rarely - give us sore throat lozenges in the middle of the night when whatever liquid medicine she'd given us before bed wasn't cutting the mustard. (I now take analgesics for sore throats, when I get them, and can't really remember what it was like to wake up with a real rager that made me want to cry.) She always made us sit up until the lozenge was entirely dissolved. I hated that almost as much as the sore throat - all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. But she was trying to keep us alive, of course
Ah, yeh. Choking to death on a tomato while sleeping. Too tragic, whatever really happened, to be issued the "bullshit" tag it technically deserves. Loss of a child, the nadir of human existence.
Gerda said: "..I expected more details about the mysterious killer tomato..."
they made an ENTIRE movie about these! They were horrible! or, it was horrible? maybe this ties to yesterday's movie post ? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attack_of_the_Killer_Tomatoes
Ambien (and or booze)? I can't picture someone on heroin etc. munching a tomato. I can imagine someone stuffing a tomato or whatever else is on hand into someone's mouth.
Food asphyxiation is the 4th most popular cause of accidental death with approximately 5,000 cases in the US Suicides are successful ~50,000 times per year in the US out of 1.5-million attempts.
Achilles said: Is it safe to say that these people were indulging in drugs and a lifestyle that was morally debased?
Is it safe to say people always try to find reasons why they couldn't possibly be victims of the same fate as others, so they make up moralistic reasons.
The only thing that gave her the strength to carry on was the planning for her idyllic death. What's the proper attire for such an occasion? You don't want to go too casual. I'd recommend a more upbeat musical number. That song is too much of a downer........I suppose this gives her a sense of control over all the dark forces that have conspired against her, but this sense of control is part of the conspiracy.
I think the most likely scenario for the dead son is that he was eating in bed and choked to death. I learned a long, long time ago, like as a preteen, to not chew and swallow anything in a supine position.
On the mother's suicide- how have we reached the point where a physically healthy person can get assisted suicide anywhere in the western world?
Why is this woman not committed to a mental institution for help with her crippling depression/grief? Many people lose children and there is support and grace for those individuals. I feel the medical system is failing her. This is horrific.
While losing a child is tragic, parents have been losing children for as long as there have been children to lose. Most don't respond by killing themselves. There is no indication in the article that less insane remedies have been tried (the timeline makes it impossible for me to believe she isn't being let down by her friends and family).
I don't know if it's a proverb or a line from "The Godfather" but "He who sleeps with tomatoes will end up choking" is a common expression where I come from.
“ Nowhere does it say that a sandwich was involved”
I read it somewhere that I didn’t link to. But you could look up the names and see it. The mother was in the next room and she had just made the sandwich for him. She was making herself a sandwich and when she returned to the room, he was already blue. That’s what I read.
OK. Whatever the cause, I agree with Tina848 that this poor woman needs intensive mental care, not assisted suicide. I don't think grief of that type ever leaves you. The best you can do is make space for it, if you can.
This was an only child, which makes the loss much harder. It also seems (inferring from the lack of any mention) that there is no husband/father in the picture. But I agree she should be getting help rather than killing herself.
@Peachy: "I'd ask her - do you think your son wants you to do this?"
From Althouse's link at 10:55: She admits Marcus would probably tell her to ‘Get a dog, Mum, buck up your ideas', but ultimately he would understand.”
Nowhere mentioned in any of the articles I saw: husband, father.
My wife and I lost a son to suicide 6 years ago at age 23. Facing that with a supportive family is tough enough.
Since none of the articles mention the tragic loss of a husband I'm going to assume that she either never married the father, or there was a failed marriage. I further assume that she built her identity around being his mother. (He's living with his mom, she's making him sandwiches when he comes home drunk)
I thought I was going somewhere with this, but don't think I actually ended up anywhere. Except that this is just another bad choice. And her choice of music is entirely wrong.
Suicide: Man across the street, shotgun in backyard, migraines.
Man down the block, gun. living with woman 10 years, 2 kids, they finally have a big wedding, comes home alone from reception and kills himself (don't know why}
Teen couple break up, he hangs himself, she is so distraught she uses Dad's gun.
Teen boy, failed romance, hanged himself.
Except for migraine guy, broken hearts that would have recovered.
“She’s already chosen what she will wear on her deathbed and told the Daily Mail that Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars’ 'Die With A Smile' will be playing as she passes on....”
Makes sense. You don’t want to have second thoughts at the last minute. “Have I made the right choice? Is it really that bad?” Bruno Mars comes on. “Oh. Yes. Yes, it is….”
I never thought of that song that way. It’s like hearing it for the first time again. Good art does that I suppose. It puts you back at an imaginary crossroads, where you previously thought there was none.
This all sounds very sad. It seems there is no one around now to help her get the help she needs. And by help I do not mean assistance to kill herself; That should never be the role of government.
"I forgot Ralph, accidental shot on camping trip, wheelchair bound. After a few years, leaves a note, od's on heroin."
My wife recently met a woman whose son had an accident (dove off a boat, not knowing they were over a sand bar), and became a quadriplegic at age 18. But he didn't give up. He graduated from college, made a career, is a public speaker, and involved the Christopher & Dana Reeve foundation. An inspiring story, in contrast to these suicide tales.
I'm remembering Garry Shandling suicide bit, but I can't find it on YouTube. The word "suicide" is probably flagged and not allowed to remain up for long.
Anyways... the note says, "this has nothing to do with anything you did, or said... this is just something I want to do for myself."
My brother's last words were: "don't stop the dialysis." Which was pretty fucking ballsy after 53 years of nonstop medical hell, from birth. But his heart was too weak to pump. Still, I didn't stop the dialysis. Fuck them, my other brother was paying.
But I understand that we all don't have the same level of what may be endured. The chronically ill are generally the strongest among us. You will not understand this until it happens to you.
If you’re going to murder yourself, have the decency and courage to do it yourself. To totally disregard the effects of your own death on others, while drowning in the effects of your son‘s death on you is spiritual murder of the others that love you. I have no sympathy for suicides. I have seen the effects. Fuck her!
my reflexive anger got the best of me. I do feel sympathy for the woman. Obviously, he was all she had. my friend killed himself with seconals when he was 19 years old. 20 years later, while perusing the inside pages of the New York daily news I see a picture of his father bloody T-shirt, escorted by an NYPD cop. He had just murdered his landlady with a butcher knife. We were childhood friends, and I knew his father as one of the nicest and gentlest men. if that isn’t spiritual murder, a mythical fratricide, I don’t know what is.
Life really is sorrow. Everyone seems to have at least one story that penetrates and savages one’s life. To see people overcome overwhelming grief is awe inspiring. It allows me to recognize the grace present in my own life.
Please use the comments forum to respond to the post. Don't fight with each other. Be substantive... or interesting... or funny. Comments should go up immediately... unless you're commenting on a post older than 2 days. Then you have to wait for us to moderate you through. It's also possible to get shunted into spam by the machine. We try to keep an eye on that and release the miscaught good stuff. We do delete some comments, but not for viewpoint... for bad faith.
I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Encourage Althouse by making a donation:
Make a 1-time donation or set up a monthly donation of any amount you choose:
પોસ્ટ્સ
72 ટિપ્પણીઓ:
Sometimes slippery slope arguments are valid arguments.
Sort of "Dumb ways to die" in real life. The Mama Cass sandwich story is relevant, but apparently false.
Jimi Hendrix died from drugs and choking on his own vomit:
The post-mortem examination concluded that Hendrix aspirated his own vomit and died of asphyxia while intoxicated with barbiturates.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Jimi_Hendrix
A horrible similar case involving just one person:
Sparklehorse (Mark Linkous) overmedicated/drugged himself, passed out, and laid on his own legs all night. This caused severe medical problems thereafter. Then, he later committed suicide per addiction issues and a general awful social world.
Linkous passed out in his hotel bathroom as the result of an adverse interaction between his antidepressants and the Rohypnol—aka Mexican Valium—he took to help with his insomnia. The following morning, a hotel maid found him in a position where the circulation to his legs had been cut off overnight.
https://pitchfork.com/features/article/9745-the-sad-and-beautiful-world-of-sparklehorses-mark-linkous/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Linkous
Nowhere does it say that a sandwich was involved. The son might have been intoxicated, or he could have had narcolepsy. Or food poisoning, or an allergic reaction, or dysphagia.
If not otherwise impaired, if you fell asleep with food in your mouth or throat, I would think you would start to reflexively cough and wake up. There’s more to the son’s death than a simple choking, imho.
"Death comes for us all."
-- Putrid of Bambergers
Without political points to be scored will the artists comment on their music being used in this way?
"Jimi Hendrix died from drugs and choking on his own vomit"
Elvis died on the shitter with his pants around his ankles.
$13,500 to euthanize herself? click bang thump. $2-3?
Was it those repeating LifeVac ads on FoxNews with that guy and his daughter that pushed her over the edge with grief and regret?
"Did you think it was possible to fall asleep while eating and choke to death? Sit up, pay attention, or don't eat. You could kill yourself and kill your mother."
Isn't she making her own choice? Yes. I get the sarcasm. But even so...
Didn’t a musician in Spinal Tap die from choking on someone else’s vomit?
Mammy’s little baby did love tomatoes.
I know two people who died by - no, I'm going to say it the old way because of what happened next: who committed suicide, one by shotgun and one by hanging. Both were discovered by their teenage kids. Horrible.
Philosophically I am against MAID and everything like it, but I do have sympathy for people with terminal conditions whose suffering brings them to a state where they just want it to end. I'm conflicted, in those cases. This mother - I can't imagine the pain of having to carry on living after a child dies. But lots of people do it, and I wish she could find the strength to do so. You never know how your life (or your death) is going to affect others.
Attack of teh Killer Tomato 🍅
What did she try to overdose on? Didn't do enough research.
If you have a reflux problem you can die in your sleep by choking on your own vomit. This one does sound like there was more to it, though.
I can see someone choking to death while eating in bed. But why would anyone assume that he fell asleep when eating? How would you even know this? I mean really, HOW? I can only assume the bedclothes weren't in disarray as you might expect from someone flailing about trying to dislodge this tomato. Maybe he wasn't the type to flail. Who knows, but to assume he choked while asleep is a real stretch.
Those cases mentioned earlier in the comments involved people incapacitated by drugs and had no idea of what was happening. No drug use was mentioned in this case.
If you look through your posts, you’ll find a NYT (maybe New Yorker) article on Ozempic and a mother of a bride to be that asphyxiated while trying to lose weight before the wedding. It is still a risk / side affect of such drugs, but yeah, you just wake up and sit up. You can also not overeat or cut back on carbs that cause reflux.
@Lawnerd, yes, but unfortunately there’s no way to dust for vomit.
A lot of famous music and entertainment folks have died in bed or the bath because of drug abuse. I call the phenomenon Bed, Bath and Beyond.
planned parenthood
When I was a child, my mom would occasionally - I would even say rarely - give us sore throat lozenges in the middle of the night when whatever liquid medicine she'd given us before bed wasn't cutting the mustard. (I now take analgesics for sore throats, when I get them, and can't really remember what it was like to wake up with a real rager that made me want to cry.) She always made us sit up until the lozenge was entirely dissolved. I hated that almost as much as the sore throat - all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. But she was trying to keep us alive, of course
Ah, yeh. Choking to death on a tomato while sleeping. Too tragic, whatever really happened, to be issued the "bullshit" tag it technically deserves. Loss of a child, the nadir of human existence.
Gerda said:
"..I expected more details about the mysterious killer tomato..."
they made an ENTIRE movie about these! They were horrible!
or, it was horrible? maybe this ties to yesterday's movie post ?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attack_of_the_Killer_Tomatoes
Ambien (and or booze)? I can't picture someone on heroin etc. munching a tomato. I can imagine someone stuffing a tomato or whatever else is on hand into someone's mouth.
I'd ask her - do you think your son wants you to do this?
Bruno Mars has a sensational voice.
Lady gag and her cigarette - meh. She is over-rated and her prop is tired.
Is it safe to say that these people were indulging in drugs and a lifestyle that was morally debased?
Food asphyxiation is the 4th most popular cause of accidental death with approximately 5,000 cases in the US
Suicides are successful ~50,000 times per year in the US out of 1.5-million attempts.
Achilles said: Is it safe to say that these people were indulging in drugs and a lifestyle that was morally debased?
Is it safe to say people always try to find reasons why they couldn't possibly be victims of the same fate as others, so they make up moralistic reasons.
I want to thank Lord Huron form making songs about death, a thing.
Didn’t a musician in Spinal Tap die from choking on someone else’s vomit?
And it wasn't even his vomit! (You can't dust for vomit the way you do for finger prints.)
The only thing that gave her the strength to carry on was the planning for her idyllic death. What's the proper attire for such an occasion? You don't want to go too casual. I'd recommend a more upbeat musical number. That song is too much of a downer........I suppose this gives her a sense of control over all the dark forces that have conspired against her, but this sense of control is part of the conspiracy.
I think the most likely scenario for the dead son is that he was eating in bed and choked to death. I learned a long, long time ago, like as a preteen, to not chew and swallow anything in a supine position.
On the mother's suicide- how have we reached the point where a physically healthy person can get assisted suicide anywhere in the western world?
Why is this woman not committed to a mental institution for help with her crippling depression/grief? Many people lose children and there is support and grace for those individuals. I feel the medical system is failing her. This is horrific.
Accessories to a selfie-abortion. it is her Choice, but their empathetic? Sympathetic support with benefits.
Fentanyl?
OK, Jamie I'll bite.
If you were asleep in the middle of the night how did your mother know the cold medicine wasn't working?
While losing a child is tragic, parents have been losing children for as long as there have been children to lose. Most don't respond by killing themselves. There is no indication in the article that less insane remedies have been tried (the timeline makes it impossible for me to believe she isn't being let down by her friends and family).
Another article said that he was eating a sandwich while hung over. To die like that suggests that he was in fact still quite drunk. Poor guy.
The son upstaged a narcissist and the narcissist said ‘Not on my watch.’
To me the worst thing about suicide is that it so often happens to the wrong people.
I don't know if it's a proverb or a line from "The Godfather" but "He who sleeps with tomatoes will end up choking" is a common expression where I come from.
Was Lady G actually smoking a cigarette while singing? When I watch famous women singers, I find myself wondering whether they are having sad lives.
“ Nowhere does it say that a sandwich was involved”
I read it somewhere that I didn’t link to. But you could look up the names and see it. The mother was in the next room and she had just made the sandwich for him. She was making herself a sandwich and when she returned to the room, he was already blue. That’s what I read.
Here’s a link https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/wendy-duffy-son-marcus-death-37057965
OK. Whatever the cause, I agree with Tina848 that this poor woman needs intensive mental care, not assisted suicide. I don't think grief of that type ever leaves you. The best you can do is make space for it, if you can.
If you ever have issues with swallowing or acid reflux - docs often tell you to remove tomatoes from your diet.
This was an only child, which makes the loss much harder. It also seems (inferring from the lack of any mention) that there is no husband/father in the picture. But I agree she should be getting help rather than killing herself.
@Peachy: "I'd ask her - do you think your son wants you to do this?"
From Althouse's link at 10:55: She admits Marcus would probably tell her to ‘Get a dog, Mum, buck up your ideas', but ultimately he would understand.”
Nowhere mentioned in any of the articles I saw: husband, father.
My wife and I lost a son to suicide 6 years ago at age 23. Facing that with a supportive family is tough enough.
Since none of the articles mention the tragic loss of a husband I'm going to assume that she either never married the father, or there was a failed marriage. I further assume that she built her identity around being his mother. (He's living with his mom, she's making him sandwiches when he comes home drunk)
I thought I was going somewhere with this, but don't think I actually ended up anywhere. Except that this is just another bad choice. And her choice of music is entirely wrong.
"Getting help" or "putting her in an institution" sounds good on paper.
In the real world, not so easy.
Suicide:
Man across the street, shotgun in backyard, migraines.
Man down the block, gun. living with woman 10 years, 2 kids, they finally have a big wedding, comes home alone from reception and kills himself (don't know why}
Teen couple break up, he hangs himself, she is so distraught she uses Dad's gun.
Teen boy, failed romance, hanged himself.
Except for migraine guy, broken hearts that would have recovered.
“She’s already chosen what she will wear on her deathbed and told the Daily Mail that Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars’ 'Die With A Smile' will be playing as she passes on....”
Makes sense. You don’t want to have second thoughts at the last minute. “Have I made the right choice? Is it really that bad?” Bruno Mars comes on. “Oh. Yes. Yes, it is….”
FullMoon said...
..Teen couple break up, he hangs himself, she is so distraught she uses Dad's gun..
..broken hearts that would have recovered..
well, to be fair;
IF i'm reading the rules right (unlikely),
they'll be together in Hell.. so there's THAT
“Don’t believe me? Just watch”
I forgot Ralph, accidental shot on camping trip, wheelchair bound. After a few years, leaves a note, od's on heroin.
His teen aged brother accidently shoot and dies at a party
I never thought of that song that way. It’s like hearing it for the first time again. Good art does that I suppose. It puts you back at an imaginary crossroads, where you previously thought there was none.
The purpose of suicide is to punish the living, see what you made me do!
This all sounds very sad. It seems there is no one around now to help her get the help she needs. And by help I do not mean assistance to kill herself; That should never be the role of government.
One thing.suicides have in common
No more suffering. I am against death penalty. Too easy. Cripple and.blind the perp and let.him suffer.
"I forgot Ralph, accidental shot on camping trip, wheelchair bound. After a few years, leaves a note, od's on heroin."
My wife recently met a woman whose son had an accident (dove off a boat, not knowing they were over a sand bar), and became a quadriplegic at age 18. But he didn't give up. He graduated from college, made a career, is a public speaker, and involved the Christopher & Dana Reeve foundation. An inspiring story, in contrast to these suicide tales.
I'm remembering Garry Shandling suicide bit, but I can't find it on YouTube. The word "suicide" is probably flagged and not allowed to remain up for long.
Anyways... the note says, "this has nothing to do with anything you did, or said... this is just something I want to do for myself."
My brother's last words were: "don't stop the dialysis." Which was pretty fucking ballsy after 53 years of nonstop medical hell, from birth. But his heart was too weak to pump. Still, I didn't stop the dialysis. Fuck them, my other brother was paying.
But I understand that we all don't have the same level of what may be endured. The chronically ill are generally the strongest among us. You will not understand this until it happens to you.
Good luck.
It may be very sad, but Darwin was right, and there is good reason for the mechanism he discovered.
If you’re going to murder yourself, have the decency and courage to do it yourself.
To totally disregard the effects of your own death on others, while drowning in the effects of your son‘s death on you is spiritual murder of the others that love you. I have no sympathy for suicides. I have seen the effects. Fuck her!
my reflexive anger got the best of me. I do feel sympathy for the woman. Obviously, he was all she had.
my friend killed himself with seconals when he was 19 years old. 20 years later, while perusing the inside pages of the New York daily news I see a picture of his father bloody T-shirt, escorted by an NYPD cop. He had just murdered his landlady with a butcher knife. We were childhood friends, and I knew his father as one of the nicest and gentlest men. if that isn’t spiritual murder, a mythical fratricide, I don’t know what is.
That’s patricide not fratricide. Ahhh Who cares.
I lost a comment in there. maybe I should shut up
Life really is sorrow.
Everyone seems to have at least one story that penetrates and savages one’s life. To see people overcome overwhelming grief is awe inspiring. It allows me to recognize the grace present in my own life.
Ignorance is Bliss: I'm very sorry for that. Words are so inadequate.
Planned Personhood... follows the progressive path paved with liberal license.
ટિપ્પણી પોસ્ટ કરો
Please use the comments forum to respond to the post. Don't fight with each other. Be substantive... or interesting... or funny. Comments should go up immediately... unless you're commenting on a post older than 2 days. Then you have to wait for us to moderate you through. It's also possible to get shunted into spam by the machine. We try to keep an eye on that and release the miscaught good stuff. We do delete some comments, but not for viewpoint... for bad faith.