From "Ski jumping rocked by ‘penis-gate’ claims athletes manipulated genitals for aerodynamic edge" (NY Post).
Such a bloggable headline. Once seen, this post was inevitable. It is not the result of my trying to get 2 Norway posts in a row, but that's what I've got.
Speaking of penis manipulation and the Olympics, I see, via Grok:
In ancient Greece, male athletes, actors, and performers used a device called a kynodesmē—a leather thong or string tied around the foreskin to pull the penis upward and restrict its movement during physical activities. This not only prevented exposure (considered immodest) but also aimed to elongate the foreskin for aesthetic and functional reasons in competitive or public settings, aligning with cultural ideals of a smaller, controlled penis symbolizing civilization and restraint. In contrast to modern preferences, large penises were often mocked in art and theater as barbaric.

52 కామెంట్లు:
Just waiting for the George Costanza clip.
Jeffrey Toobin should have used this excuse.
said that while being warm during measurements can matter
Oh such tasty blogbait. Worth bolding….and not the first to think…happy thoughts matter?
There are no transgender ski jumpers on stolen land.
…these guys are usually slight, well below six feet and small hands but this measurement puts a…wrinkle in things dunnit? The Algorithms to the rescue!
That's the problem with AI, every connection that it makes in its neural net is another rabbit hole to run down.
In other news, people assigned male at birth but self-identify as female have no advantage in women’s sports.
Who would have predicted a synergy between male porn stars and ski jumpers? So having an extra big johnson can translate to additional meters on the jump. There is nothing more I need to read today.
"In contrast to modern preferences, large penises were often mocked in art and theater as barbaric."
This is what happens when theater kids get power. Then the women folk get all dissatisfied and turn AWFL on us all. Humans have the largest penis to body ratio among mammals, thus disproving the superiority of the microepenic class. Size matters. Civilization depends on it. Make America Giant Again!
Back in the 1970s, I would attempt to artificially enlarge my genital area with an issue of OUI magazine.
There was the Disney movie about Jamaican bobsledders, time for a sequel?
If you have no rules then it's impossible to cheat
The showers win again vs. the growers!
I had no idea there was such a thing as a professional ski jumper.
The crotch measurement is taken from the lowest point of an athlete’s genitals
literally hung
"rehajm said...
…these guys are usually slight, well below six feet and small hands but this measurement puts a…wrinkle in things dunnit? The Algorithms to the rescue!"
The opposite, they're taller. Olympic men average height is 6'. Tall means bigger "wing" means more lift. I wouldn't call them slight, they're lean. You want to maximize the ration between height and weight.
I suppose without official measurements, they'd all put the crotch of the suit at their ankles.
Who came up with this measuring idea? I bet he was well dressed, stylish with great skin and hair, and a fresh manicure.
Somehow we get by with one crotch size fits all on other clothing - even jock straps.
"Ralph L said...
I suppose without official measurements, they'd all put the crotch of the suit at their ankles."
Hockey goalies also do this. Oversized everything. The NHL finally had to standardize gear:
"NHL goalie attire rules focus on safety and fairness, requiring specific protective gear like helmets, masks, chest protectors, pants, leg pads, gloves, and skates, all designed to prevent injury while ensuring equipment doesn't provide "undue assistance" for making saves, with strict limits on pad size and chest protector dimensions to maintain game balance and player skill focus. Key regulations involve tapered arm pads, maximum pad dimensions (around 38 inches, with ongoing adjustments), and streamlined pants for better mobility and less coverage, all subject to league approval.
Core Equipment Requirements:
Head: Helmet with a full face mask (HECC/ASTM certified) and a throat/neck protector are mandatory.
Body: Chest & arm protector, hip pads/padded hockey pants, protective cup/pelvic protector, gloves (blocker & catcher), skates, and stick.
Pants: Designed for mobility with room for knee pads, often with suspenders, and should not have excessive padding.
Pads: Leg pads and chest protectors must adhere to specific size and shape regulations to prevent excessive net coverage.
Key Rule Changes & Focus Areas:
Sizing Restrictions: The NHL has continually tightened rules on maximum pad size (e.g., around 38 inches) and chest protector dimensions to reduce coverage and highlight goalie skill.
Streamlined Designs: Mandates for tapered bicep/forearm pads, clavicle floaters, and angled shoulder caps aim for a more natural, body-conforming fit.
No "Undue Assistance": Equipment must be solely for protection, preventing any features that would unfairly help stop the puck.
Pants Evolution: Recent years have seen moves toward tighter, more contoured pants to reduce coverage and encourage more goals.
How Rules Are Enforced:
Manufacturers submit equipment for third-party testing and approval, using 3D scanners to verify compliance with dimensions and contours.
Officials monitor for illegal equipment during games, though most issues are caught in the design phase.
In essence, NHL rules aim for a balance: enough protection to keep goalies safe but not so much that the equipment becomes the primary factor in stopping shots, keeping the focus on the goaltender's skill.
NHL, NHLPA add new chest, arm pad rules for goalies
Sep 16, 2018 — Bicep and forearm pads must taper -- 5.5 inches to 4.5, then 4.5 to 4. Clavicle floaters cannot extend more than 2 inches above th...
NHL.com
Has anyone considered a 600 lb goalie?
using substances such as hyaluronic acid — sometimes placed in a silicone, condom-like sleeve...
Judges were onto the potato trick.
Why not use a helium balloon?
filed under: "more cringeworthy than lutefisk"
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things"
Ski jumping is supposed to be cold - right? and - It it shrinks!
Measures must be taken.
…average height of olympic jumpers is like 5’ 9” despite what ai says. at sochi average was 171cm, only speed and figure skaters were shorter. Ya there are taller jumpers but with same bmi as a shorter jumper they start losing out in jump power since they are so willowy..
bagoh20 said...
Has anyone considered a 600 lb goalie?
What is Refrigerator Perry up to these days?
John Henry
Was Austin Powers a ski jumper too?
@bagoh2o
Pop-Punk artist Atom & his Package envisioned a 1500-lb goalie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxtXGI8iORI
Another reason to keep men out of women's sports.
So it's not Red Bull that gives you wings, it's big balls?
"Speaking of penis manipulation and the Olympics, I see ..."
That's not on the agenda for LA 2028, but someday perhaps ...
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things"
It's challenging. But how do you gals walk around with those big things on your upper bodies? I know there was a prominent tennis player who decided to have hers reduced.
And I see women's ski jump has been an Olympic event since 2014. Is it better to be well endowed? And will we see news stories about implants or reductions for women ski jumpers?
What did they do for 'equity' in olden times when knights in shining armor wore huge metal codpieces? I suppose this distracted opponents are maybe became an impact weapon up close????? ;-)
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things"
We just do what they tell us to, and they seem to like to like adventure.
Giving depth to the question of "Do you have the balls for Olympic ski jumping?"
If this catches on, will snowboarding become known as scrotumboarding?
There used to be a television show called The Wide World of Sports. They would start off with a clip of a ski jumper wiping out as the announcer intoned "... the agony of defeat." I used to wonder why the skier went off the side of the ramp. Now I know. Mid-flight package adjustment.
‘taint natchul!
TeaBagHag left swooning by all this talk of balls ‘n’ scrotes!
Trendsetter Howard busted for moving his Idaho spud to the back…
Rather than hassle with the rules, just go with base jumping suits. That would be a lot of fun to watch.
’I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.’
It’s a burden sometimes, but chicks dig ‘em…
Unsurprisingly, for an obvious reason, Hunter Biden is a skier who has visited Colorado multiple times. Joe Biden and his family have been spotted at Beaver Creek, Aspen Mountain, and other locations, but their favorite go-to spot seems to be Snowmass, where they have rented a private home for multi-generational skiing on multiple occasions. During his first visit as VP, Biden spent a week in a private home in Snowmass Village with Dr. Jill Biden, his children, Beau, Hunter, and Ashley, and his grandchildren.
Why does this remind me of that guy on the show "Reno 911" who insisted on wearing hot pants "for the speed."
When I was an student at Duke University over a half century ago, there were two campuses, separated by about three miles, for the men and the women. A bus went back and forth every fifteen minutes. The cafeteria on the women's campus was more pleasant than the larger dining hall on the main campus. So my friends and I would often travel by bus to the East Campus for dinner and perhaps to run into a girl we might know from class. One evening my classmate, Mike, impulsively grabbed a banana as he left the dining room. As a joke he went to the restroom and positioned this very massive banana under his pants. He sat down in one of the seats on the bus that faces across the aisle and casually assumed the mansplaining position with his knees spread out and placed his hand along the outline of the banana in his pants. He maintained a very straight face and never moved his hand or did anything to bring attention to himself. It was absolutely amazing to watch the coeds who were sitting on the bus do a double-take and then try to suppress their interest in his appearance.
I don't remember much from the formal education I received so long ago but watching the reactions of those fellow bus riders was priceless.
Gender dysphoria.
So Doge’s ‘Big Balls’ has another career possibility!
I knew those had to have large cajones to do that, but this takes the cake.
48 comments and no one has asked: how the heck does hyaluronic acid make your wiener grow? I mean, it's face serum! I don't get it. CC, JSM
Why aren't they just wearing wing suits? Keep their arms tucked and legs together until they launch.....
I AM GLAD MY EX-BOYFRIEND CAME BACK TO ME AND RECONCILED WITH ME AFTER HE BROKE UP WITH ME 5 MONTHS AGO. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
(THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE),
THANKS TO THIS RELATIONSHIP EXPERT...
I recommend_____Robinson.buckler@yahoo.com
I did not have this on my bingo card.
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