While acne has been destigmatized to some degree by bold stickers, and body hair appears in ads plastered across buses and trains, chewed up fingers have failed to capture that same cache of authenticity.
"Cache"?! They mean "cachet." A "cache" is a group of hidden things, like a "cache of weapons." Unless you have a box of chewed-up fingers stowed away somewhere, you mean "cachet" — which is prestige or high status.
But anyway, my question is answered. Body hair has gone public, plastered across buses and trains. So this is an article arguing for acceptance of bitten fingernails:
To escape a beauty culture that relies on pretending everything’s always under control, we have to become comfortable showing the tiniest parts of ourselves that are not. "Sit with those nails," [said Dawnn Karen, a former psychology professor at the Fashion Institute of Technology]. "Walk around for a week or two. Don’t get them done. Go through all of the feelings — embarrassment, shame, cringe. Let them pass."
Can we do the feeling where "done" nails seem embarrassing and shameful and — I hate to say it — cringe?
Speaking of words, I see that word up there — "authenticity" (in "that same cache of authenticity"). Just 2 days ago, I had a post "What authenticity means these days," with 4 examples from the current news. That makes me want to do a Friday "authenticity" check. I've already got one — the insane "cache of authenticity" — so 3 more are desirable:
1. "How ‘Fawning’ Is Ruining Your Relationships/Excessive people pleasing can trap you in a cycle of insecurity. Here’s how to break the habit" (NYT): "'When we’re fawning... the fearful part of ourselves chooses dishonest harmony over deep, authentic connection.'... The next time you have the urge to fawn... give yourself an authenticity check: Do I really mean what I’m about to say? Am I saying something I don’t mean to try to appease the other person?"
2. "When a Close Relationship Becomes ‘Enmeshment’/If you’ve lost yourself in a relationship, it may be time to untangle your identities and establish clearer boundaries" (NYT): "An enmeshed relationship has a lack of clear boundaries, leading to blurred individual identities.... [P]eople in these relationships become disconnected from their authentic selves. 'You get to a point where you don’t even know who you are'.... Is this your emotion, or are you co-opting someone else’s?..."
3. "The Authenticity Paradox/How 'Being Real' Became Performance" (Philosopheasy): "The paradox inherent in Rousseau's ideal of authenticity lies in its dual nature: while it encourages individuals to be true to themselves, it simultaneously demands recognition from others, thus complicating the pursuit of genuine self-expression.... Cultural critics argue that the rise of a 'culture of authenticity' can lead to societal tensions.... The expectation to present a genuine self in every context can feel burdensome... in an increasingly artificial world...."
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Also, nose picking, which was banned in China. Human rites were once performed publicly, then in chambers, now in clinics. Why not, indeed.
Well, the people in my Airbnb aren't stirring yet, so I will dive in:
To "go the way of" is to go away. The phrase she's looking for is simply "gain the same acceptance as."
I'll bet she pronounces "cache" as "ca-SHAY."
This wedding I'm attending is in the Pacific Northwest, and as soon as we made our first stop in Oregon, shockingly (to me) far from the coast for this sort of thing, I found myself in a restaurant in which every piece of wall decor in the women's restroom sounded like a pissed-off 15yo: "It's not MY job to please YOU." "I'm perfect the way I am. You're the problem." (These are not actual quotes - I can't remember the exact phrases. But they capture the essence, trust me.) The fish/bicycle thing was missing, but every other expression of defiant self-actualization at the expense of civil society was there.
The thing is, back in Houston I have been assailed by wall decor in restrooms too - but it tends to have a humorous tone rather than a "Yes I DID pierce my septum and you saying that that's what they used to do to cows has NO bearing on what it means to ME, which I am NOT going to articulate for YOU. I'm EXHAUSTED" tone.
Farting too. Just let 'em rip wherever you may be with your exposed body hair, chewed nails and (gasp!) shorts. Especially enclosed spaces like elevators and crowded restaurants and subway cars. Extra credit for maximum duration and volume ("gusto").
Don't, don't .... you're trying to copy edit the idiots who work at the NYTimes?
You are going to need a bigger blog.
Barry,
"Fart proudly, fart for liberty and freedom." (Quoting Ben Franklin from memory)
John Henry
Fortunately, my wife has not "embraced body hair".
My mother and older brother were nail-biters. Absolutely revolting.
My wife has embraced body hair. Mine.
Only error funnier than cache for cachet is per say for per se.
Maybe the general public doesn’t want some persons spit covered fingertips touching public doorknobs, grocery store items, handrails…We’ve been told to cough into our inner arms because exhaled air and spit droplets on our hands could spread germs. But sticking your fingers in your mouth should be fine?
Only in the NYTimes mind(s) would something plastered over buses and trains mean total coverage to the public. Talk about that New Yorker cover mentality.
this is called.. Living in the past..
Welcome to the NEW WORLD lefties!
morbidly obese hairy people are no longer IN.
Try looking at CURRENT ads
(there's this one.. About a blonde girl wearing genes.. it's VERY POPULAR now)
Maybe the NYT should do an article on destigmatizing people using the back of their hand to wipe their snotty noses.
I was wondering about the lack of an editor at the NYT this morning when I read this - "Later that year, Mr. Lydon wrangled an invitation to travel with the Rolling Stones during its seismic American tour".
Apparently, having good hygiene and proper grooming is now a sign that you are a right wing extremist.
MB notes teh NYT's use of "wrangled an invitation."
Good Althousers know they should have used "garnered an invite."
More and more the NYT reads like a Catholic girls' high school "humor magazine".
I understand that nail biting, along with alcohol use, smoking, and gambling is reduced with ozympic use. I talked to a doc who is co authouring.
We're progressing/regressing.
I doubt it reduces body hair, but that would be a good fake paper to write!
...said Dawnn Karen, a former psychology professor at the Fashion Institute of Technology.
Oh, for a laughing face emoji, one with tears... I'd insert at least seven. The Python's were occasionally as funny. Titania McGrath, look out!
Sorry about the misused possessive above.
We don't need to laxen up the social expectations of grooming an hygiene any further. The way one dresses and grooms oneself affects the way one comports oneself. Culturally we seems to be on the tail-end of a movement of people trying to get away with the bare minimum, whether it is dressing, grooming, or maintaining a bare minimum of fitness. I wonder if this is linked whatever loneliness epidemic or performative man epidemic, or missing man epidemic folks seem to like to write about recently.
...."While acne has been destigmatized to some degree by bold stickers, and body hair appears in ads plastered across buses and trains.... capture that same cache of authenticity....."
Don't try that in Dallas, hon.
meet Lady Windesmear's Fan
The Great Crepitation Contest of 1946
Performative flatulence.
Based on my recent visits to the beach, body hair is mostly shaved off by young men these days.
Nail biting is indicative of deeper personality disturbances. Don't get enmeshed with them, it will be hard to get out of it.
I tried to get Grok to draw me a picture of a bus with body hair plastered all over it, but it couldn’t do it right.
"Sorry about the misused possessive."
We'll forgive it, this time. Next time, twenty lashes with a wet noodle.
Is this relevant?
"Letter from Benjamin Franklin to a Royal Academy About Farting (1781)"
https://teachingamericanhistory.org/document/to-the-royal-academy-of-farting/
I'd bitten my fingernails for 33 years, then, a drop dead beautiful/successful woman fell in love with me. Early on she commented (suggested?) how much she liked men with manicured nails. Haven't bit my nails since (going on 50 years now).
Everything mentioned here should just go. I don’t care which way, just begone.
laxen up
Ahem. I think you meant "enlaxen."
Also, I personally think it looks weird for a man to be entirely without body hair. I know some men are hairier than others, but almost all men have SOME body hair that may be visible in normal social situations. (Especially if you don't hew to our host's view of Men In Shorts.)
Also - I appreciated* the fact that in the first couple of episodes of 1882, the teenage female protagonist correctly had unshaven pits. Not only did I appreciate the historicity, but also I admired the young actor for her commitment - this wasn't stubble but full-on pit hair, so she didn't shave or wax (do people wax their armpits?) for quite a while.
* I'm thinking maybe test audiences appreciated it less, because after those first couple of episodes, suddenly there were no more scenes in which her pits were shown.
Body hair and acne can be side effects for women taking testosterone to transition. Nail biting isn't.
The article seems to want body hair and acne to be celebrated, but it isn't going to happen.
@Jamie - if you want to impress other men in the locker room, by all means, hirsute is your pursuit. If you want long loving licks from 20-something vixens, you are gonna wanna roll smooth as Michaelangelo’s David. Me? I’m down with the ladies and survived my first waxing this very week
Good Althousers know they should have used "garnered an invite."
But why doesn't the NYT know the difference between wrangle and wangle? They have layers and layers of fact-checkers and editors!
I just want to say to all the Gen Z ladies, and you Millennial girls, that you don't have to go to Brazil for us. Some of us are old school. Thank you very much.
remember that prostitute?
that was running for office a few years ago?
She was the concubine of the mayor of Oakland or something;
and then she became the Au Pair for some rich banker or such.
ANY WAY,
the rich guy had an UGLY daughter,
that was being cared for by the prostitute/Au Pair..
and the UGLY daughter was featured in magazines with 2 inch long pit hair. I THINK that is where the idea that body hair was "destigmatized" came from..
Rich, UGLY (2 bag ugly, not just 1 bag ugly) girls would LOUDLY not shave their pits.. Telling The WHOLE World about it.
it was supposed to distract from how GOD AWFUL UGLY they were.
it did NOT work. putting pit hair on a pig just made a Ugly Hairy PIG
"But why doesn't the NYT know the difference between wrangle and wangle?"
How am I supposed to know?
Actually it's because they're a bunch of wrankers.
Did body hair go away naturally, or did people just start trimming it more aggressively? I guess it had to happen after Sean Connery passed away.
Wait a minute ... body hair became acceptable? That's doubtful. Even James Bond couldn't rock that much chest hair today. As for nail biting and acne, what's the message? Did they go away or just become acceptable? Or did everybody just stop noticing?
And are people really biting into their fingernails or biting off the pieces of nail or skin that stick out?
I hesitate to say
"More body hair, less tattoos."
Depends on the body hair. And the tattoo.
You could maybe shave off the body hair, and replace it with tattoos of body hair. That might be fun.
Of course it was Serge in Beverly Hills Cop who threw down the hair gauntlet.
"Cover this up. It's like a dog to scrub for the customer. It's not sexy. It's animal."
I’m calling bullshit. This is as real as some dude saying he thinks Lizzie is hot.
If Marilyn Monroe was chewing her fingernails, I'd be like, "Oh, baby, you are sucking your thumb, that is so hot."
But if Marilyn was walking around with 10-inch green fingernails, I'd be like, "What the fuck, Marilyn, you're embarrassing me in public. And put some underwear on." And then I'd start calling her Norma Jean and telling her to go back to the farm. I just can't be with a woman who has crazy ass fingernails. How do you type? How do you eat a sandwich?
On Youtube you can see old photos of Hollywood beauties. Sophia Loren is shown displaying her hairy armpits---enough there to macrame into a spider plant hanger.
Then there are the nudes of a young Madonna. My God! You would need a machete to hack through that RubyFruit Jungle!
I can't believe I'm writing this. But I'm around a lot of sick people, and they frequently cannot avoid passing wind. I had a friend with stomach cancer, and he didn't ever apologize; he would just explain, 'pardon me, I have a medical condition.'
He was an entirely reasonable man.
R.I.P., and he would laugh at that.
Mary Beth: “ But why doesn't the NYT know the difference between wrangle and wangle? They have layers and layers of fact-checkers and editors!”
Maybe he was cutting an invitation from the herd?
If you have a problem with chewing nails (a disease vector), go to a nail salon once a month and pay for a manicure and pedicure. Money is a great motivator; so is (racism warning, no offense intended as I consider these women very driven and tough, and I tip great) being giggled at and hectored by 20 utterly relentless Vietnamese women who had no idea I speak some Vietnamese. Lots of male customers are there, unless it's an upscale salon. The women will pressure males to get clear buff nail polish. That might help. I've only let them defeat me once viz nail polish: they gave me a free French polish on my toes, something clear with white ends. I have to admit, it looked great. Then they put makeup on me for free. They were worried my husband would find a better-looking woman. It was all in fun.
being giggled at and hectored by 20 utterly relentless Vietnamese women
That reminds me of an Anjelah Johnson stand-up routine
At the same time young prog gals are brandishing all sorts of body hair, Gen Z men & boys are doing all they can to make themselves hairless. WTF?
Wow, the commemnt thread for the "fawning syndrome" article may be the most pathetic thing I've ever read. Half the commenters worry that they must fawn to fascist Daddy Trump or be hauled away and punished; the other half are grateful that "this feeling I've had" is actually a disease to which they're being victimized, though they don't want to thank the author too much because that would be fawning too.
Never has a group so richly deserved to be attacked by a herd of rabid deer.
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