Writes Samantha McLaren, quoted at Rotten Tomatoes.
And here's the original song that asked the question, "Oh Lord, why don't we [live together in perfect harmony]?"
August 19, 2025
"Ebony & Ivory wastes your time, knows it's wasting your time, knows that you know it’s wasting your time, and loves that you know."
"Make no mistake: it has extremely niche appeal. But having watched this film, I think I can safely say I’m in that niche."
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42 comments:
Artistically irredeemable and impossible to recommend on any basis whatsoever, about the only thing “Ebony & Ivory” succeeds at is matching the artistic value of the eponymous song: a dubious distinction if ever there was one.
There used to be a TV personality who wore big floppy hats and she reviewed movies for the local TV station. She loved everything. And people cared about her because there was no internet. If she's alive, and on TV, she's probably giving this movie 3 hats.
I like the guy what labeled it ‘stoner farce’. Yes. I can see that…
doesn't really look like them, coexistence no longer a thing,
My time was irretrievably lost just watching the first half of the trailer.
- Krumhorn
Snippets of the pitch meeting: Nobody’s going to the movies anymore so what does it matter what we make…if we make one more propaganda film and it flops we’re all getting shit canned. So what’s safe when it bombs?…remember how your grandparents told us they got baked and go see midnight showings of Rocky Horror and Pee-Wee and The Wall? What about one of those?…
Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord why don't we?
Until I double-checked the lyrics I didn’t realize that Paul McCartney wrote this song. I remember singing this song in college, in dorm room get-togethers. I do recall that we ended the chorus with “why can’t we.”
And now I know that answer to why we can’t — Barack Obama and the Democrats. Because everything a white person does, including mow the lawn, support school bake sales, and check our kids’ report cards are because of white supremacy and racissssssmmm.
Gay.
This is gay.
…you know, like one of those movies they make for dogs or cats, except it’s for people…and they’re baked..
“Oh Lord, why don't we [live together in perfect harmony]?"
Because that would be really boring.
naw, even ryan george wouldn't try this, and he did one for the star wars christmas special
As their website suffix states “WTF”?
From the director of "The Greasy Strangler..."
Per Wikipedia
"In 2007, BBC 6 Music listeners voted "Ebony and Ivory" the worst duet in history. Two years later, Blender magazine named it as the tenth-worst song of all time.[26] Writing in 2010, biographer Howard Sounes said that while many people consider the song to be "annoyingly simplistic", it contains "the ineluctable power of McCartney's best tunes" and was a "massive hit"."
I vaguely remember liking it when it came out in the 80s. Just listened to again on youtube. And yeah, its pretty Goddamn bad.
The only thing gayer than this is the NFL's newest cheerleader - Dylan Mulvaney.
As for the movie its supposed to be a comedy. And an unfunny comedy is like experiencing death for 90 minutes. Maybe if they'd made it in 2000 with Robin Williams and Eddie Murphy.
Shouldn't we be talking about Ne Zha 2, arriving in theater Friday?
Didn’t Murphy (Stevie Wonder) and Joe Piscopo (Frank Sinatra) do a take on this in early 80s SNL? I remember it being damned funny.
this last batch of films were quite underwhelming, F! was perhaps a rare exception, the Naked Gun, Superman and F4 were passable, Ne Zha looks interesting by comparison,
I was annoyed this morning because "We Built This City" was playing when I stopped at Lowes. One of the worst songs of all time. Bad earworm.
Now I am well and truly pissed off.
I won't be seeing that movie simply because, it must be supposed, I would then be subjected to that absolutely horrid song.
Why can’t people get along with each other the way a keyboard gets along with itself?
A thought arrived at by a man trying to think of something to say as he was staring at a keyboard.
BU law school used to have a student run show called legal follies. My wife attended BU in the late 90s and we went to the show. The best act was two students, one black the other white dressed as Justice Thomas and Justice Scalia singing a version of Ebony and Ivory. It was hilarious.
It's cringeworthy, but not Florence Foster Jenkins bad.
Ebony and ivory have a long and storied relationship on the plains. Hopefully, this story suffers a less catastrophic progression.
Seinfeld - Black and White Cookie
Look to the cookie. There's your answer.
Is dunking an Oreo an act of white supremacy?
when you can't make thru the trailer.
Arguably a musical genius, Paul McCartney stopped writing interesting music after Sgt. Pepper. I found his post/Beatle work uniformly execrable, amply filled with hooks and earworms, best exemplified by his Christmas classic Wonderful Christmastime, the only holiday song that makes me want to punch the artist in the mouth.
Ebony and Ivory was just another (hugely successful) entry in this catalogue.
Is dunking an Oreo an act of white supremacy?
@n.n., silly fellow, the answer is obvious. It’s only an act of white supremacy if you dunk the Oreo in milk. Coffee and hot chocolate are perfectly okay.
Smilin' Jack said...
“Oh Lord, why don't we [live together in perfect harmony]?"
Because that would be really boring.
@Smilin’ Jack, sometimes boring is good. Althouse has a tag.
Some movies are so unintentionally bad, they are fun to watch.
Reading reviews of this one, as well as prior movies by the same guy, it seems to be "bad" on purpose.
Trailer shows it is not bad enough to be good. It is simply bad.
One reviewer praised it and said see it with a bunch of your friends.
That would be a decent practical joke.
the trailer is really cringe, did they hire someone from Marvel to paste it together,
honestly even on the plain cable side, the offerings have been dissapointing see the latest Alien offering from Noah Hawley, who did some good Fargo seasons, then caught TDS
this one supposedly takes place on some island in the Indian Ocean, where a rival to Weyland Yutani has a research base,
it happens before the original Aliens, which messes up the timeline,
“ Arguably a musical genius, Paul McCartney stopped writing interesting music after Sgt. Pepper. ”
I heard that Paul died during the production of that album and was replaced. Which is concordant with your thesis. The new Paul was less ineluctable.
Yikes.
Looks more like Paul Simon and Lionel Richie.
The song truly sucked so why would the movie be any better?
So I thought, "Hey, that doesn't look anything like Michael Jackson." Now I realize that the Jackson-McCartney collaboration was another song (even though that's not how I remember it)
Wilbur said...
Wonderful Christmastime, the only holiday song that makes me want to punch the artist in the mouth.
***********
I want to find something---anything!---to hurl at Alexa when I hear that Holiday kaka.
@boatbuilder LOL, now you've got me missed off. ^&%$# earworm!
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