"Picture it: Harvest season... hunting season.... She does everything possible to make sure friends from Georgia bag some pheasants, but Cricket — 'out of her mind with excitement' — ruins everything. 'I was livid,' Noem writes. Then, on the way home from that disaster, Cricket attacks some beloved, irreplaceable chickens at a neighbors’ house. The mother — holding a baby, no less! — runs toward the melee, sobbing: 'My chickens! No, not my chickens!' Noem pays for the birds and hauls Cricket into her truck. 'She whipped around to bite me,' she says. 'I hated that dog.'... For a few glorious pages, Noem feels like a Flannery O’Connor character...."
Writes Ron Charles, in
"Kristi Noem’s dog killing is pure Southern gothic/A literary critic’s take on the South Dakota governor’s memoir, 'No Going Back'" (WaPo).
It's not as though Charles likes the book — which is, "mostly a hodgepodge of worn chestnuts and conservative maxims, like a fistful of old coins and buttons found between the stained cushions in a MAGA lounge" — and he certainly doesn't approve of Noem's killing the dog. It's just that the rest of the book is the usual unreadable nothingness.
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60 comments:
Seems like a pretty hack-y writer to be criticizing others' writings.
Another distraction as the nation is willfully pushed closer to the edge of the cliff.
No tag for Ron Charles? Nice writing.
But then, after the Souuthern Gothic novel, there's the string of descendingly bad television interviews. By the end of her weeklong television book tour in New York City, Kristi Noem was getting ridiculed by Greg gutfeld on Fox, and getting cross-examined by one of the no-name reliably TrumpWing maniacs on Newsmax.
This is cosmically, comically stupid stuff.
Perhaps my favorite bit -- and there may be more to report on this one -- was the baseball-capped Noem standing outdoors and video-recorded against a backdrop of trees, warning her fellow South Dakotans to be safe in the face of a weather threat from a possible late spring snowstorm. It wasn't possible to tell where she was, but it was credibly speculated (based on her appearance schedule alone) that she was standing in Central Park.
"..like a fistful of old coins and buttons found between the stained cushions in a MAGA lounge"
Damn! that sentence is so bad, it is accidentally good.
She really screwed up that dog story. Pretty easy to describe the situation so dog lovers and
"ranchers' are sympathetic.
Should have went with Old Yeller situation, "broke my heart but had to do it"
Conservative maxims: God-given rights, We the People... and our Posterity, due process, etc. without diversity for all.
People for the Euthanasia of Throwaway Children... Canines? Were they rabid or otherwise catastrophically misbehaved?
Seemed familiar. Now I remember..
" Like an old man returning soup at a deli
While I don't elevate them to the new level of 'furbabies' that some do, I do like animals, particularly of the pet variety. However I am very much aware of the difference between the way folks in the suburbs and cities interact with their animals and those in rural areas interact with their animals. And while it doesn't particularly bother me that she put the dog down I can understand how it feels bad for many. However, a lot of the negative reaction to this story from the Left strikes me as Mean-Girl cliquish behavior. Trying to reinforce some idea in their collective heads that this person and people like her are just awful horrible people and by extension those that recognize this are better.
It reminds me recently of some behavior on the right. When a person named Steve-O who was formerly on MTV's Jackass and now hosts his own podcast which is fairly popular revealed that there had been discussions between him and Bill Maher for him to appear on Bill's own Podcast. Steve-O is a recovering Drug and Alcohol abuser, and so asked Bill if he would be willing to refrain from smoking marijuana during the podcast which he smoke during every podcast. Bill Maher said no and so the discussions over him appearing were over. Some on the right tried to use this as proof that Bill Maher was a horrible, terrible, worthless person in the similar vein to how some on the Left are reacting to the Dog story.
Neither events seem like a big deal to me, though I can understand how people don't like either. However the reactions to the events from both sides do strike me as bad and unhealthy for a civil society composed people of very different viewpoints and lifestyles.
Local shock jocks play live practical joke phone caalls.
Pretending to be animal control, called a victim and said his fiancés
dog escaped again and it would cost $1000.00 to get it back, or animal control would put it down.
Victim says, "Put it down, never liked it anyway"
Wonder how the marriage worked out.
"MAGA lounge"
Where can I find one? I'd like to go hang out with my fellow deplorables, you know, practice the secret handshake, and swap Trump anecdotes.
There's a brief exchange from "Veep" making the rounds that seems all too prescient.
like a fistful of old coins and buttons found between the stained cushions in a MAGA lounge
This line tells me everything I need to know about the honesty of the review. The author is not writing a review of a book, he is creating performance art for his MAGA fearing audience. The fact that he has to make a dig at half the country tells you he is not interested in the book itself but in having an excuse to curry favor with the cool kids.
The funny part is that Noem didn't even know what was in her stupid book.
What is happening now is this is just pulling the curtain back on the fake celebrity book industry. They all hire writers and provide little to no guidance in how to write it. Some people like Noem are too fucking lazy to even read it before it gets sent out.
Cricket the dog would have been a good pet for some kid somewhere. Cricket the dog could have been properly trained. No actual dog owner would have decided to kill Cricket.
You hit a dog for killing a chicken and drive it away but you don't kill it. It was your fault for letting Cricket be in the same space as a chicken. That is just what dogs do with chickens. Chickens are really stupid animals that don't even wait for sick weak chickens to die before they try to eat them. Akin to Lizards without teeth. Dogs and Chickens are not of the same value.
People that buy a politician's book at this point are either stupid or digging for dirt to destroy someone's campaign.
Poetically it ispossible Noem's stupidity here deals mortal damage to this diseased awful genre.
Chuck said...
This is cosmically, comically stupid stuff.
Almost as stupid as showering with your daughter, raping Tara Reade, giving Willy Brown blow jobs to boost your political career, or being a part of the lincoln project child rape ring.
In a way, I’m hopeful this story has removed Noem from serious consideration as a VP candidate.
Both parties have a number of wannabes who aren’t ready for prime time (ahem, Kamala). I’m reminded of the old Clint Eastwood movie with the line “A man’s got to know his limitations” Unfortunately, not enough politicians know their limitations.
Has Kristie Noem given $16 billion to Iran?
Has she withheld arms from Israel?
At the very same time did she issue sanctions waivers to go around congressional prohibitions on arms sales to a host of Arab nations that boycott the Jewish state, including Hamas ally Qatar and Iran-controlled Lebanon?
No? Then what’s the problem?
Kicking a woman while she's down is better sport than hunting pheasants, for some.
It seems to me that some objections to the Cricket business are based on sheer fastidiousness. Many people who are appalled by the shooting might be quite willing to "put down" a dog who has become dangerous or maybe just inconvenient, as long as they can drop them at the vet and walk away. But getting your own hands dirty (not to say bloody) is too much like real life.
@Althouse, this is getting way past tiresome. She’s younger than you, and objectively better looking. You’re in your 70s; deal with it. The people of her state must like her policies — in 2022 she won her primary by better than 3:1 and won re-election by a touch under 5:2. Instead of looking honestly at her accomplishments, all anyone left of center seems able to focus on is that she killed a bad dog. Do any of you ever grow up?
Noem is Just an Old Chunk of Coal (But She's Gonna Be a Diamond Someday)
Looks like the left had to dig up Noem's dead dog.
A massive distraction is needed.
Noem would have been much better off lamenting her decision the "put down" her 39 week old healthy fetus, when she was still a liberal. Dogs are more important than Dogs. amiright?
RFK Jr OR BUST!
Michael Vik ring any bells? 24 years ago the Nation came dangerously close to bringing back lynching. NFL Quarterback Micheal Vik was busted for running a dog fighting ring.
The moment I heard the story on the radio, I told my wife he would have fared better being caught screwing 12 year old boys. I was right
The moral compass of this nation need a serious re calibrating
I think the fact that she stood against the lockdowns, is the pill they can't swallow, this is the same press corps that had let Biden's devil dogs attack 24 people, and they still haven't put those two pooches down,
no the Dems and the Media, reward the toked up slattern, that jailed scores of minor offenders and let actual criminals on the loose, but keep up with the foolishness
has she shown weakness on the womens sports issues, or the chinese proxy of farmland, probably, could she have phrased it better
"Damn! that sentence is so bad, it is accidentally good."
Caught my eye too.
It just exposes the virulent pro-abortionist's for what they truly are.
some sick people
"Seems like a pretty hack-y writer to be criticizing others' writings."
Why? What makes you think that? What do you know of his work?
It is partly a rural thing, and most of us real rural folks understand completely. Except for the feedlot types, and factory chicken outfits, most of us truly love animals, but we absolutely won't put up with rogue or vicious animal, and as people have done for tens of thousands of years ... we select for temperament.
During my 20 or so years of raising livestock I killed more than a few that showed themselves to be NRTS-9 [not repairable to standard -- Discard]. Shot a few neighbors' dogs, for attacking my stock, one of 'em with his mouth full of my prize tom turkey [breeding tom for the whole flock]. In every case the response was the same "Thanks for doin' that ... saves me the pain of doin' it myself." It worked the same when my dogs after the neighbors' cattle. But I selected, hard, for temperament, especially with dogs.
I remember one litter of puppies, fathered by some unkown dog, coyote, or wolf. Born under the corn crib. At three weeks I'd locked up the mother and pulled out the pups, one by one. The first was cuddly, licky, and waggy. He went into my flannel shirt. Each of the next two snarled and bit me. Their brains were immediately smashed on a nearby railing. Yet when a black house-dog half-scalped my 16-month-old daughter -- she tripped over him in a very dark corner. He stood by her, whimpered, and licked the blood off her face. Not a problem in the previous four years. Without hesitation ... he lived, to a ripe old age and always guarded the child.
That's how it has to go. These are ANIMALS. We have to keep selecting for temperament. I had a dry-sow [= no babies to protect] attack me in the dry-sow pen. I shot her on the spot, hauled her out and dressed her. Maple syrup cured ham is delicious. As soon as her two daughters's pigs were weaned, they, too, were shipped. It was much rarer, but the same thing with cattle, because when you have herds of animals, the bad behaviour can spread very quickly.
Politically, I believe we need to adopt a similar approach with seriallly violent humans.
this is the same press corps that had let Biden's devil dogs attack 24 people, and they still haven't put those two pooches down,
===========
This task awaits Noem! Warrior Govvernor
Will she avenge? MAGA Nation holds breath!
It all makes sense when you realize Cricket is Putin and the chicken coop is Ukraine.
fistful of old coins and buttons
I find old coins interesting. Old buttons maybe even more so.
did writer spell it right? MAGA lounge if rhym[aim]img for nostalgia?
So..... it looks like they didn't find any more dirt on Noem, then. But nature, and editors, abhor an empty space and feel driven to fill it.
I wonder what Biden's fictional life story would rate in this writers eye?
Achilles: "The funny part is that Noem didn't even know what was in her stupid book."
I know, we can't even give her credit for the Southern (Dakota?)Gothic. Take warning, change your ways, Governors: that's the message of the Ghost Writers in disguise.
Kristy is so MAGA dumb tha she doesn’t even think of killing all the Jews like the Ivy League graduates do.
So, South Dakota now qualifies as Southern. Good to know. For the people on the Acela Corridor, all those rubes in flyover country are all the same anyway.
Actually dogs that kill farm animals in the country or even chase them are killed at once. That's understood. No one says anything about it but it's the rule. So when the dog killed someone's chickens, it had to go. Probably the ghost writer didn't understand this point.
I knew the chickens were mine. the crying mother with a baby knew the chickens were mine. And now, the Governor of North Dakota knows the chickens were mine, too. With God as my witness, I'll never be hungry again.
s/ a dog.
Howlingly dull--like virtually all ghostwritten political memoirs. Certainly applied to "Dreams From My Father"--not that this clown would say that.
Chicken killing dogs--when I was a kid in a large town (25,000 residents) in Southeastern Washington State I had a dog--a nice black cocker spaniel. The dog had lived on a farm until it's appetite for the farmer's chickens grew too large. So he got banished to live with town folk.
Chicken killing does not necessarily merit a canine death sentence--if you can send them to thee"big house" in town. But biting the owner? That's a problem; a useless hunting dog (albeit perhaps just in need of training) a chicken killer--and an owner biter. Add it all up and a rural person is likely to put the miscreant critter down. OTOH the rural person is not likely to eat the dog---so there is that.
“Almost as stupid as showering with your daughter, raping Tara Reade, giving Willy Brown blow jobs to boost your political career, or being a part of the lincoln project child rape ring.”
Sorry… that just flies over the head of the cosmically clownish Chucko.
Imagine it is not chickens that were mangled, but was your loving, pretty, Siamese with her fluffy kittens.
Still a problem?
Noem failed at properly training her dog, took an untrained or poorly trained dog hunting, failed to contain and control her dog, then killed the dog in a fit of anger when the dog publicly exposed her failures.
When Donald Trump is turning away from you because you're bad for the brand, that's pretty close to rock bottom.
Narayanan said...
this is the same press corps that had let Biden's devil dogs attack 24 people, and they still haven't put those two pooches down,
===========
This task awaits Noem! Warrior Govvernor
Will she avenge? MAGA Nation holds breath!
5/10/24, 5:34 PM
LMAO! Yes to this! Make it happen!
As far as leftists are concerned, Kristi's mistake was killing a dog and not a baby. That, they could get behind.
tommyesq said...
"Seems like a pretty hack-y writer to be criticizing others' writings."
I think he's talking about you Ann.
In the space of just one week, we got "Orange Turd," "VonShitzenpantz," and "Cricket's Last Stand.'
What a week for MAGA.
Every week I go to my library and haunt the new books section. It gives me a chance to see what's getting published and bought by tax dollars.
It is a festival of unreadable nothingness. Today,I read five pages of Lynne Cheney's self apotheosis. No actual human being would prefer to have that book in their hands to having 30 dollars in their pocket.
Rural life is different than city life to be sure, but there are several ways in which Kristi Noem’s telling of the story puts herself in a bad light.
First, Kristi’s telling violates the old adage, never spank your children when you’re angry. A good rule for corporal punishment, an even better one for capital punishment. I concede she couldn’t really work the this is going to hurt me worse than it is going to hurt you angle into her story, but still.
Second, Kristi’s Cricket was a working dog defense rings hollow. She’s trying to invoke the pets v. farm animal distinction, but instead manages to conjure up the worst practices of the greyhound track.
Third, not many people raise chickens in the barnyard as farm animals anymore. They’re pets. Kristi could have told the story as the dog killing the neighbor’s pets, and left out that the pets killed were chickens. But she wasn’t going for sympathy or understanding, her telling was presented to prove that she is just as big an asshole as anyone in the MAGA crowd, which seems to be the political job requirement in the Republican Party these days.
Fourth, the pheasant hunt with friends from Georgia doesn’t quite fit the working ranch narrative. Are these paying guests at a dude ranch or hunting lodge that Kristi was running? Was this some sort royal-family-type outing with fellow aristocrats? In the telling, it comes across as phony to my rural ear.
Stupid, stupid Rich assumes all dogs are trainable if you just throw enough money at their training. He’s Rich, but stupid. Do not fear for him; as long as he’s Rich there are plenty of young, gold-digging women who will let him grab them by their pussies.
Stupid, stupid Rich assumes all dogs are trainable if you just throw enough money at their training. He’s Rich, but stupid. Do not fear for him; as long as he’s Rich there are plenty of young, gold-digging women who will let him grab them by their pussies.
A dog that kills chickens isn't a dog that any farmer or rancher can tolerate. I think Noem did the right thing by killing that dog - but it's something to be ashamed of, raising such a vicious dog, and not something to brag about in her book. Put the dog down, but don't write about it.
" ... like a fistful of old coins and buttons found between the stained cushions in a MAGA lounge ... "
What's so special about a "MAGA" lounge? I'd be happy to do my own research if someone could point me to one.
Achilles: "The funny part is that Noem didn't even know what was in her stupid book."
She recorded the audio for the audiobook, so she read the entire book out loud prior to release.
Claiming not to know what was in there is difficult to believe knowing she recorded an audio version.
What's so special about a "MAGA" lounge?
===================
did writer spell it right? MAGA lounge[r] if rhym[aim]img for nostalgia? with Barcalounger
coins falling out and buttons popping out in sex frenzy!! undressing and stains
@ BM try to be more concise — your sarcasm doesn’t improve with length.
Left Bank sees no difference between misbehaving chlldren and vicious dogs that attack farm animals and people. Noted.
I find it unintentionally hilarious when city slickers like Rich, Left Bank, and others who purport to advise how a farmer should treat a vicious dog. On another thread Rich claimed to have been raised on a farm. If true (and the guy lies like Joe Biden) it must be what they call a gentleman’s farm — an estate with enough livestock and/or crops to technically qualify as a farm (and get tax breaks). The proof is that he insisted in the same comment that she should have hired a someone to train Cricket, expense be damned. Working farms do not have spare hundreds of dollars to bring in Cesar Milan or similar expert to waste on an animal that does not earn its keep.
I’m not saying this isn’t a huge unforced error on Noem’s part, and probably spells an end to her political ambitions. But in the end I see it as more of the blind hatred directed at black, Hispanic, and female Republican politicians because Democrats think blacks, Hispanics, and women “belong” to them in some sense. It’s true that Republican women are smarter and better looking than their Democrat counterparts — just compare our batshit crazy female, Marjorie Taylor Greene, with the Democrats’ Maxine Waters. Greene is better looking and has a 3 digit IQ.
It seems like the only true thing in Noem’s book is that she shoots puppies and goats.
She killed a vicious dog. Big deal.
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