Airports around the globe use a variety of methods to inject some Zen into one of the busiest travel periods of the year. They decorate their halls in holiday lights, host carolers and concerts, and bring in therapy dogs for group canine counseling.
Portland does all of the above. True to the city’s quirky spirit, it also invites local camelids to the airport to canoodle with passengers....
Canoodle!!
Origin unknown; compare Swedish knulla (“to fuck”), Norwegian Bokmål knulle (“to fuck”), German knuddeln (“to cuddle”). The German word comes from Knoten (“knot”), so it may be that "close contact" is the root concept. Folk etymology cites the use of two-person canoes as an activity to escape the presence of a chaperon [sic] by couples during Victorian and Edwardian times, and the activities such privacy allowed. Supposedly, a "canoe" and "paddle" were used to sail away from the chaperone.
This post gets my "bestiality" tag.
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Living right between the two, I fly out of PDX whenever possible as it’s a chiller experience than SeaTac. Has a small airport vibe. Llamas seem unnecessary.
These need to be sent to several Althouse commenters!
I recently watched a video comparing common words of various Western and Central European languages including German. The German word for sexual intercourse is Geschlectsverkehr which literally translates into something like Gender-Traffic.
Therapy llamas?! Really? But not a Christmas tree or wreath to be seen at PDX. Not even “Seasons Greetings”. It may be a federal holiday, but Portland would rather ignore it. Disgusting. Why do they hate the “rest of us” so much? Oh yeah, I remember now. Because they’re better. Whew!
Something volcanic rumbles and churns under that cool ash-blonde exterior we call Althouse. How else does one account for any non-pornographic blog even having a bestiality tag?
Holiday lights on the holiday tree.
Good God. Americans are such losers.
Therapy llamas... It would be Portland, wouldn't it? The mad city funding another mad project obviously intended to export the maddest of Portlandian parasites to more rational environments as a form of psychological warfare against the decent and responsible.
Just stop with the New Age crap Kevin, it's Xmas!
Llamas are cute. They're smaller camels without the nasty temper.
Thought it said "Therapy Hamas...."
I hear they spit, NTTATWWT.
Nephew what flew here from PDX saw no therapy llamas but said passengers did have to line up like Noah’s Ark animals two by two so the drug dogs could sniff. Not sure if it was to aid their own people so they don’t get arrested with their meth and stuff or if it was to prevent some Portland cray cray from export…
If the llamas spitting in your face doesn't work in calming you down, maybe the piss on your feet will do it.
It could be a Festivus Miracle,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYi-99klXAs
Some mysterious power impelled me, nay forced me to backtrace the incidence of Althouse bestiality tag usage. The best(?) example was her comment on a classical sculpture of the Pan having intercourse with a she-goat, "Say what you will about porn and censorship through the ages, I just want to observe that it's not bestiality to have sex with a goat when you are a goat."
One observes that Pan is a god, not a goat, certainly not by any means an entire goat. Therefore his carnal relations with a goat can only be para-bestial.
That's great, let's canoodle a bit, then you can spit in my face. Makes you wonder who thinks this stuff up.
By just looking at them, I wouldn’t know that about llamas, that they can relieve stress. On a first impression they look kind of stuck up, aloof.
You can't pump your own gas, but you can fuck a camel at the airport?
"They're smaller camels without the nasty temper."
Llamas have a nasty temper that's all their own.
Wonder which Portland city pol's relative runs the llama farm?
This is what legalizing hard drugs will getcha…
Just when you’re calm, they spit in your face.
"You can't pump your own gas, but you can fuck a camel at the airport?"
A great reply, I heard the same language in the Uraniun Mines in NM. A Whore, an Animal, and a Banker. In any combination. The secret to any good joke.
Aggie said...
That's great, let's canoodle a bit, then you can spit in my face. Makes you wonder who thinks this stuff up.
12/23/23, 5:54 PM
It's like they're auditioning for a spot in the Biden administration.
The last time I canoodled with a llama, I was on cipro for six weeks.
Are these the same airports our army took over during the Revolutionary war?
Don't the llamas get stressed out from this?
Recent Examples on the Web
Holmes, 46, shared several photos of the couple canoodling on the sidelines while rooting for the Razorbacks.
—Emily St. Martin, Los Angeles Times, 24 Oct. 2023
Or, practice in the indoor studio, which begs for a thick pair of socks and yoga blanket canoodling.
—Perri Ormont Blumberg, Southern Living, 5 Oct. 2023
Would she and Kelce be caught canoodling amid the biker merch at Blip Roasters in the West Bottoms, brewery-hopping in the Crossroads or debating sauces at Arthur Bryant’s?
—Mary McNamara, Los Angeles Times, 28 Sep. 2023
I saw these llamas on Gutfeld! and people were kissing them on the llama lips. Yuck. I would never kiss an airport llama. You don’t know where it’s been and what else it’s stuck its face into.
That's great, let's canoodle a bit, then you can spit in my face. Makes you wonder who thinks this stuff up.
That senate aid fired for the gay sex tape posted on social media that he wanted Joe Biden to spit in his mouth. Definitely worse than an airport llama kiss.
Where do they poop?
Those airport llamas certainly have plush rumps, but to reduce travel stress, do the hard work to fix air travel. TSA is still mostly security theater, air traffic controllers are in distress and it was just last Christmas when that Department of Energy freak was fired for stealing airport luggage.
The Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg, is a diversity hire and Biden is throwing money at fantasy trains.
I'd be cautious about this canoodling. The possibility of unanticipated gender affirming care seems worth considering.
The fighting teeth are used to tear into opponents; after a battle, the llamas might exhibit torn ears or gashes along their flanks. But the favored target is the testicles. To secure the title as the only fertile male in a herd, llamas will attempt to castrate each other.
https://knowledgenuts.com/male-llamas-bite-off-each-others-genitalia/
LLamas, lights, carollers, dogs. When they want me to be happy with air travel, eliminate the entire TSA presence at Denver International. I understand that the Denver TSA workers deal with ultra-entitled Colorado natives and self-important ski tourists all day, but the TSA there regularly goes beyond the petty shittiness required to screen those people into a whole 'nother kind of powerplay obnoxiousness, apparently just because.
And any terrorist wanting a huge casualty count in Denver could just walk past the ticketing area to the 2nd floor above that giant TSA circle of Hell on the lower floor, and toss grenades into the massed travelers waiting for screening, before strolling back out to a waiting car. TSA security is not just a joke, it is a danger.
You need a tag for dimwitted decadence. It will populate rapidly.
Mike @ 12:20 PM,
Any security barrier across a high traffic pathway inherently creates a chokepoint in front of it. Terrorists have already made use of this in the US, e.g. the LAX shooting.
Behind a paywall, but I’m assuming one of the llamas is named Lorenzo (or at least Fernando).
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