December 30, 2022
"Russian soldiers called up to fight in Ukraine will have the chance to store frozen sperm in a cryobank for free, according to a leading Russian lawyer."
"[T]his solution meant that if a man died - or lost the ability to reproduce - then he would still be able to have children."
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That will certainly encourage the draftees.
Snowballs. So to speak.
Soldiers are often promised a kind of immortality: your names will live on forever. Some attempt at this is made with memorials, etc. Knowing you are leaving kids behind, either legitimate ones or offspring of women who live by military bases, is kind of promising. Lincoln: "The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they [soldiers who died at Gettysburg] did here." True in the sense that everyone remembers the Union won by means of hard-fought battles. But it would be a rare individual who remembers any name involved with Gettysburg other than Lincoln's.
In the past year, how many Russians have died in Ukraine and how many Americans have died of fentanyl overdoses?
“Who’s being naive, Kay?”
Well, that sounds like a great come-on. So to speak.
Perhaps some soldiers left impotent can use this service, but how many dead soldiers are likely to have their sperm used to inseminate someone? How many women are likely to make such a choice? Virtually all of it will be thrown out by the time the war ends; possibly within minutes of the soldier leaving the clinic.
Great idea. I can see many useful commercial applications. Wanking stations could be set up at Everest base camps or before extreme sports events. This is an idea whose time has come.
They won't need cryobank, in the Ukranian winter the Russians entire body will be frozen when they die in battle.
Overhead in Russia: "When we send these men to the front to fight and die, where will we find such great men to fight for us in the future? Easy comrade, we will take their sperm and freeze it before we send them to the front."
It raises the spectre of Putin growing a secret army on which to try out his super-soldier serum.
A reflection of the government's estimate of your chances of coming back. That'll be great for morale.
Not to be outdone, President Bidem offers free jism storage to drug addicts in the US.
I can see some lab somewhere in China, let's say Wuhan just for conversation, buying up all of those sperm samples to work on genetic re-engineering. A future Dr. Fauci, wearing a patch over one eye, overseeing the entire thing. Of course, it'll be funded by the NIH, with dollars from your kids bank accounts. And it'll all be done for The Good of Man...oops...HumanKind.
German cryobank operators and depositors are probably concerned these days too. Rolling blackouts are not good for the goo.
Has Jeffrey Toobin chimed in yet?
"Perhaps some soldiers left impotent can use this service, but how many dead soldiers are likely to have their sperm used to inseminate someone? How many women are likely to make such a choice?"
Their widows, perhaps?
“But it would be a rare individual who remembers any name involved with Gettysburg other than Lincoln's.”
Meade?
William - "wanking stations"
I hereby insist the first American Wanking Station be named the "SS Biden Wanking Democracy Station."
So... who is a "leading Russian lawyer"? What are BBC's criteria? Sounds like a sanitized "Fatalistic" bit of propaganda that they can easily dismiss.
How many Ukrainian's were surveyed likewise for comparison? Sounds quite Orwellian after all.
What Would George Write?
They'll never know if they were "firing blanks".
A Russian Mad Men roundtable came up with ideas showcasing Russian long-term commitment, in response to Person of the Year asking USA to help him and his country.
The implied message: The Russians are ensuring the next generation of soldiers needed to fight in Ukraine will be available.
It's supposed to make Ukrainians think the war is going to last longer than a TikTok.
Is a cryobank a better store of value than a cryptobank?
Those not answering the call of the Rodina at the Ukraine front can take the place of those who do at the womb front. No lack of volunteers for that duty.
That give a new twist to ," Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here".
“But it would be a rare individual who remembers any name involved with Gettysburg other than Lincoln's.”
I know dozens upon dozens upon dozens of names starting with my great great grandfather and namesake: Pvt T.M.Altee 2nd South Carolina "Governor's Guards" Co A, Kershaw's Brigade of McLaw's Division of Longstreet's Corp, Army of Northern Virginia. And his brother John in the 8th SC. And my family Doctor in Florida Phil Galliard whose great great grandfather was my gg grandfather's commanding officer in the 2nd SC. I could write names and brave deeds deeds for hours but will stop here. President Lincoln and his address to the American people was just the apex of those well remembered stories and deeds.
Battle of the Splooge.
One Russian lawyer claims the Russian government has agreed to pay, but there is no other source. Unlike in America, in Russia sometimes lawyers are not 100% credible sources.
The Mad Men idea in the back of my mind.
Precious Bodily Fluids
Access Confirmed.
Patrick Cronin, my great-great-great uncle, fought at Gettysburg and helped seal the hole made by Pickett's charge.
And the splooge repositories are funded by Russian Oil sold to China at Biden inflated prices.
Fortunately Biden is keeping Oil prices artificially high so Putin can continue to fund his war and stupidity like this.
It would be absolutely awful if we went back to the peace and prosperity of the Trump administration.
Hopefully Putin and Biden join each other in the afterlife soon in the deepest hell available.
The people supporting all of this need to look in the mirror and pray for forgiveness.
This little fantasy overlooks the women. Sorry, but you still need them for birth. And right now, Russian women don't want to have their own children with their living partner. The birthrate is far below replacement level. There won't be millions of volunteer women seeking to have the child of some stranger, a child who is to be raised to become cannon fodder like his unknown Dad. Putin may want to be Peter the Great but, unfortunately for him, the Russians don't want to be peasants.
USSR invaded Afghanistan and lost about 1500 soldiers a year for the next ten years. It was enough for these commie rulers to decide that the damage to the population's psyche warranted the the military withdrawal. (The Americans did a good job depicting this.
Now, in less than a year, Russia has lost at least eight times that total number. And the population isn't restive?
That's nice but in the beginning all the soldiers wanted was a place to store their frozen salmon. Things got garbled as the request moved up the chain of command.
Yup, got my balls shot off in Ukraine, but that’s not a deal, I went to the jizz in the box before I went to the meat grinder. So the little lady and I are all set. We got it right up the old Rodina.
“But it would be a rare individual who remembers any name involved with Gettysburg other than Lincoln's.”
George Meade
Robert E. Lee
Joshua Chamberlain (of Little Round Top defense fame)
George Pickett (of Pickett’s ill-fared charge fame)
We can thank today’s US public education system as to why people under 50 don’t know the names of soldiers on either side since the schools either cut US History classes or teach arcane history of very minor historical facts (or propaganda) to push the Regressive(TM) agenda. Plus, Lincoln wasn’t even at the Gettysburg battle. He went 4 1/2 months later when he gave his famous speech. With today’s education system, I don’t doubt the the young people in the country do probably think Lincoln showed up at the conclusion of the battle to give his speech. And the educrats don’t teach that Lincoln wasn’t even the main speaker that day. Edward Everett gave a 2 hour speech right before Lincoln’s 471 word speech.
Robert Cook said...Their widows, perhaps?
I wouldn’t bet on it. Any married couple impoverished enough to need a free service is unlikely to spawn a widow eager to become a single mom.
But it would be a rare individual who remembers any name involved with Gettysburg other than Lincoln's.
Gettysburg made an otherwise undistinguished Confederate general named George Pickett immortal.
Has Putin participated in the Beta testing phase?
Rootin' shootin' Vladimir Putin.
Leading by example.
True immortality comes from popular culture. Now millions know the name of Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain because of Ken Burns, Michael Shaara, and Jeff Daniels.
Incredibly sad.
War sucks. If you haven't yet watched it, find the newly released version of "All Quiet on the Western Front" on Netflix. It's well done, and hard to watch. And of course it is the story of German soldiers. They go from the pre-battle enthusiasm to living and dying in and absolute hellscape. Lives sacrificed by crazy blood thirsty generals between the time the armistice is signed and the 11th hour, on the 11th day, of the 11th month.
WWI was probably the biggest waste of life ever. A war fought for what?? And the territory gained and lost shifted merely hundreds of yards.
Quick Google:
There were 20 million deaths and 21 million wounded. The total number of deaths includes 9.7 million military personnel and about 10 million civilians. The Entente Powers (also known as the Allies) lost about 5.7 million soldiers while the Central Powers lost about 4 million.
Guess my point is, no matter what you think of Russia or Ukraine, there are nameless, faceless soldiers losing their lives for this ridiculous bullshit. It's Putin's fault. It's NATO's fault. It's Ukraine and Zelensky's fault. It the United States' fault.
I don't see the glory in a virtue signaling Ukrainian Flag in a Twitter or FB profile. "I stand with the people who are dying, because I don't have to fight and die myself. Nor do my children" As John Prine wrote..."Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore".
You know who's fault it isn't??? Donald J Trump's.
The real draw will be free gender reassignment surgery.
Reassignment surgery in a wartime trench has its benefits.
If you transition to a woman, you can be sent home.
if you transition to a man, you can further exemplify your manhood.
Sedgwick
Last thing I'd want on the brink of death would be a soon-to-be-born child who would be raised without a father's influence and income. Better to promise them their name on a Wall-type memorial.
I used to have thick glasses, and in a desperate attempt to score "pity sex", tried out a novel pick-up line in bars:
"Yes, it's very tragic. I lost my rods and cones outside Da Nang."
Didn't work.
They were promised many things: food, water, ammo, a quick and glorious victory. And now when they're about to freeze their balls off, free frozen sperm.
Plus, one supposes, a final, lonely orgasm.
Men of Russia Who Are About To Die
Yes, yes, you are commodities. Nameless stooges! But don't worry, in the future women will be able to shop and buy you.
We'll put you in a catalog.
Ivan Podunk 2002-2022.
Died for Mother Russia.
6 foot 2.
Eyes of blue.
Ladies, you can have his sperm for $29.99!
(Sorry, we don't have more of a DNA databank, comrades, cannot predict cancer possibilities).
Russian soldiers called up to fight in Ukraine will have the chance to store frozen sperm in a cryobank for free . . .
Free? Free, you say?
JAORE said...
Has Putin participated in the Beta testing phase?
Rootin' shootin' Vladimir Putin.
Leading by example.
It would not do for Regime supporters and warmongers to think too hard about this post.
It might be uncomfortable.
People: I think Ann is running this post as a social experiment: "If I put up this sad little blurb of bleak news, what response will I get: from guy-type posters or girl-type posters? With what degree of terminally bitter humor?" Etc.
And here we are, snapping at the lure, which combines male anxiety over performance on the battlefield and in the boudoir (or Petri dish); the whole issue of (excuse the verb) projecting oneself onto the Future, but here in the most impoverished way. If impotence resides in a failure to inculcate in one's offspring the ideals and values and habits of mind that one believes deserve propagation, then what could be more impotent than a program like this, deliberately producing fatherless children?
https://www.bitchute.com/video/x2G33lzwrLuN/
At about 16 minutes small arms fire got him.
He shouldn't have tried to retrieve his wounded buddy.
So their sons can die in Russia's next war even if they don't make it home from this one.
To be honest, not exactly a selling point for enlisting.
Three Palmores, my mother’s side, died at Gettysburg. One on the first day, two later from battle injuries. And they were a father and son. All on the Confederate side.
Several others participated in the battle, including one cavalry officer for the Union.
That’s the relatives I know of off the top of my head. There were other distant cousins with other surnames.
Planned parenthood. Something similar progresses in America that costs millions of lives annually, which Schumer laments has left America less than viable thereby necessitating immigration reform or population replacement with leverage.
It might be uncomfortable.
The popular consensus supports coups without borders, denial of essential services, torture and mass abortion, redistributive change, and apartheid in democratic progress (e.g. South African Mandela/Xhosa vs Zulu and native collateral damage).
I bet Russian oligarchs are storing their sperm too. That's a dangerous job these days.
I wonder if Putin is killing them or if we are.
Beautiful Russian nurse to extract said sperm? That would increase the volunteers.
Gusty Winds
11:35
!
Don't give Zelensky any ideas or else we'll be paying for that, too.
Imagine...
"Hey young man. We'll freeze you sperm for free, just in case you die...you can die knowing you might still seed our great motherland. It's a win, win."
So you're saying I'm probably gonna die then, huh???? And there's gonna be a shortage of young men to sire children to keep the state in tact... I get it.
Well not probably...but...you know... Here's a cup. Bathroom's down the hall"
You know Doc, I don't think I can knock one out on that kinda motivation man...
Are they thinking that their soldiers will be exposed to a lot of radiation at some point?
Da, comrade, we freeze jizz for free. Thaw and delivery to final destination will be surcharge.
World War One was fought to keep the Krauts from winning, from the B&F etc. perspective. I didn't pay any price personally, and try to stay out of pointless "Was It Worth It?" debates. (I always play the game this way: if keeping the Krauts from winning wasn't worth 6 million Allied soldiers, was it worth 3 million? 1 million? 300,000? 3Ok? 3k? 3? Congratulations if you have a good answer.)
Then again, the butcheries weakened the empires where they didn't sweep them away, and a lot of peoples got their national independence. If I was a patriotic Czech or Pole, and had been forced to fight under a flag not my own, I'd be very happy to see that result.
If I was an African or Asian, I'd start to understand that the guys in Europe weren't worth dying for . . .
As for Gettysburg (or as we call it, the Pea Ridge of the Eastern Theater) my maternal ancestors Jubilation T. Cornpone and Bo Rearguard served as lieutenant colonel and corporal, respectively, of the 1st Tennessippi Volunteer Stragglers.
Who-in-the-hell is going to take a turkey baster full of frozen dead guy jizz??
This has got to be fake news.
Let's not give Ben and Jerry any ideas.
Jim at said...
Don't give Zelensky any ideas or else we'll be paying for that, too.
We are paying for this little project every time we go to the gas pump.
We are paying for both sides of this war.
madAsHell said...
"Who-in-the-hell is going to take a turkey baster full of frozen dead guy jizz??
This has got to be fake news."
I don't think the Russian government has any intension of going through with this. They're having a hell of a time recruiting men to go and fight.
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