"'Feeding them, petting them, and even holding our sloth babies!' The company’s website claims its two-room storefront across from Carvel in Hauppauge is a very close environmental approximation to 'the jungles of Costa Rica' and notes that should you wish to buy a sloth, your admission fee will go toward your purchase.... 'This isn’t a zoological park... It’s literally an old pool store that he blacked out the windows and put some fake plants inside.'"
From "Sloths Are Tearing Apart Suffolk County" (NY Magazine).
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25 comments:
sloths… sloths will tear us apart again.
Sounds like an old SNL or SCTV skit.
"Sloths Are Tearing Apart Long Island" will be Elizabeth Banks' follow-up to "Cocaine Bear."
"Sloths Are Tearing Apart Suffolk County"
Very slooowly, one assumes.
There are quite a few cardinal sins at work in Suffolk County, but Sloth is not among them.
All snarking aside sloths do have a certain charm, particularly on childless women of childbearing age. Their body portions and flat, round faces push the oxytocin button like Sisyphus pushes that rock. Wallach knows this and he's hoping to clean up in that NYC suburbia of rich potential pickings.
But they are wild creatures of humid forests, and not at all social animals in their natural habitat. Being cuddled by 37-year-old Bambi Goldfarb, MLS does the sloth no favors. However, active resistance is often a bit too metabolically taxing for the average pilose foliage muncher, hence the shortage of bites.
Too bad he-man adventure magazines have gone far out of vogue. Sloths Ripped My Flesh could be an amusing read.
When I read the headline I thought it was about an Executive Recruiter for former Big Tech employees.
I certainly don’t need to pay $50 per half hour to have a sloth encounter.
i'm just too lazy, to be interested in this story
OMG! it Just Hit Me!!!
coming to theaters SOON! Cocaine Sloth!!
February 1, 2012
"My entire life had been waiting for this moment where I would get to interact — I'm serious! — with a sloth." - Actor Kristen Bell
Link to Althouse Archives
Animated film "Zootopia" trailer
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=zootopia&docid=607991735538883965&mid=3D3A6AFE6B1A03C8DFEB3D3A6AFE6B1A03C8DFEB&view=detail&FORM=VIRE
Never looked at sloths the same way again.
A group of bears is called a sloth. If you are being pursued by a sloth you may want to adjust your speed accordingly.
My 19-month-old grandson's binky is a (loosely) stuffed sloth. He takes it everywhere, and on occasion when it gets lost, panic ensues. (My daughter was once forced to enlist the entire staff of her local Target store, as well as willing shoppers, to find the damn thing.)
His parents bought an identical one for backup, but he won't have anything to do with it. It's the original or nothing.
Business is kind of meh...
A sloth is my spirit animal... But we've never cuddled.
[The pythons from the other 2012 post ate my comment.]
The Sloth
In moving-slow he has no Peer.
You ask him something in his Ear,
He thinks about it for a Year;
And, then, before he says a Word
There, upside down (unlike a Bird),
He will assume that you have Heard—
A most Ex-as-per-at-ing Lug.
But should you call his manner Smug,
He’ll sigh and give his Branch a Hug;
Then off again to Sleep he goes,
Still swaying gently by his Toes,
And you just know he knows he knows.
-Roethke
"Link to Althouse Archives"
Thanks. I don't know why I had a tag for sloth, but it wasn't on that, the most slothy post in the archive.
I've added the tag now (and found some other old sloth posts that needed the tag).
I have a post for "animals" and generally don't like tag proliferation. But various animals have their own tag — dogs and cats, of course, but also fish, birds, insects, wolves, bears, foxes, elephants, arachnids, whales... even weasels. Can't think of them all. Giraffes. Lions. Snakes. Lizards. Alligators. Crocodiles. Frogs. Turtles. Those more specific tags are more fun to click on. In retrospect, "animals" is too general to matter.
...charges interested parties $50 per half-hour to encounter his sloths.
Game Night with a Sloth.
Long Island? That ain’t right.
Many years ago I decided that if I ever wrote my memoirs (I will not ever write my memoirs) I would title them "Beastly, All Too Beastly: Memoirs of a Five-Toed Sloth".
Great title, Dr. Weevil.
Very bad grammar in that headline.
I'm sort of surprised that the Prof didn't point it out.
I'm not even good enough at grammar to know the term for the outrage, but "tearing apart Suffolk County" is just wrong.
From "HMS Surprise", one of a series of historical novels about the Royal Navy in days of sail. An admirable film version of one of the novels "Master and Commander" featured Russel Crowe some years ago.
The ship's surgeon has adopted a pet sloth and the poor creature is sharing the captain's cabin during a storm....
The sloth sneezed, and looking up, Jack caught its gaze fixed upon him; its inverted face had an expression of anxiety and concern. 'Try a piece of this, old cock,' he said, dipping his cake in the grog and proffering the sop. 'It might put a little heart into you.' The sloth sighed, closed its eyes, but gently absorbed the piece, and sighed again.
Some minutes later the Captain felt a touch on his knee; the sloth had silently climbed down and it was standing there, its beady eyes looking up into his face, bright with expectation. More cake, more grog; growing confidence and esteem. After this, as soon as the drum had beat the retreat, the sloth would meet him, hurrying towards the door on its uneven legs: it was given its own bowl and would grip it with its claws, lowering its round face into it and pursing its lips to drink. Sometimes it went to sleep in this position, bowed over the emptiness.
The sloth's owner, shop's surgeon Stephen, walked into the cabin, "What is the matter with the sloth?" It was curled on Jack's knee, breathing heavily: its bowl and Jack's glass stood empty on the table. Stephen picked it up, peered into its affable, bleary face, and hung it upon its rope. It seized hold with one fore and one hind foot, letting the others dangle limp, and went to sleep.
Stephen looked sharply round, saw the decanter, smelt the sloth, and cried, "Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
I see the Sloth impresario has a history. "...and has been cited in the past by the U.S. Department of Agriculture for violations including handling a tiger in an inhumane manner."
You would think that particular crime would carry its own punishment, sooner or later at least.
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