I got a reservation for Cat's Cradle at my public library.
(Flashman I had to buy)
Some librarian in Charlotte has decided that there will be no overdue fees while COVID-19 is still a thing.
I was like, "Holy shit! No overdue fines!"
So my floor is littered with books I haven't read yet, and movies I haven't seen.
After a couple of months of that shit, Fucking Blogger gets involved and moves my library books to the "Lost" category.
All of a sudden I owe $300 or some shit like that.
I'm like, "They're not lost! They're on my fucking floor! And the DVDs are right there! I'm busy as shit, man. I'm doing things. Holy shit."
So I have to go over to my public library and explain that I have all the books and movies that I had checked out. (And I was lucky that I did because the pile was getting high).
Liberals try to do well but they spoil us rotten. And if you're going, "who's paying for this shit?" That's a good question.
Anyway, I've got a dozen overdue books and movies, plus one lost one that is not fucking lost it's right on the floor, and they let me check out Vonnegut. I'm actually #2 in line so apparently people are still reading him.
Eyes need goggles, yes. Ears need protection, yes: a Snoopy helmet?
But also noses. The poor guy is trying to sample the airstream at a hundred feet per second and, excuse me, now he’s got a bug stuck deep in his sinus. Not good!
"Eyes need goggles, yes. Ears need protection, yes: a Snoopy helmet?
But also noses. The poor guy is trying to sample the airstream at a hundred feet per second and, excuse me, now he’s got a bug stuck deep in his sinus. Not good!"
Howard said...You people could stand to follow the dogs lead and be happy just to be alive.
In English, "you" is second person, number indeterminate (i.e, can be singular or plural). To avoid such embarrassments in the future, you may want ask your English tutor to discuss to spend a little time on the first-person singular.
Checking him out, and letting him sit on floor, sure
that was some big laughs for me
he's going to impress the shit out of anybody looking at the books on my floor.
next to that damn G.K. Chesterton book which is heavy, Althouse, heavy, thanks for that shit. Also that Leo Tolstoy audio book is not in my car where it needs to be. It's just sitting there, piled up, impressing my dog. I'm almost a powerful reader. My big problem now is falling asleep. I used to be able to read a book in a day.
Now it's sleep, snort, sleep, snort, where did the damn book go? Sleep, snort, what page was I on?
I did successfully read The Rights of Women. That was excellent pro-life feminism. At the beach it was all Bernie Rhodenbarr, the cat burglar who solves murders. Light but fun.
I don't know if I want to spend $32 after spending $5,000 on the damn surgery. I guess she'll get the sweet blue cloud collar. Anyway, missing my dog. Pick her up tomorrow.
If a dog's sense of smell is up to 100,000 times greater than ours, I estimate he could probably smell a rat pissing in Albuquerque from a suite in the Bellagio.
tim maguire said... "Howard said...You people could stand to follow the dogs lead and be happy just to be alive.
In English, "you" is second person, number indeterminate (i.e, can be singular or plural). To avoid such embarrassments in the future, you may want ask your English tutor to discuss to spend a little time on the first-person singular." Howard's a racist. That's how they talk. Did you see all the self congratulatory horse shit going on in Martha's Vineyard? You'd have thought they invented Mexicans. Which is how they referred to them. To the racist, Biden left everyone south of Austin Texas is a Mexican. The lack of self awareness is truly astounding.
Now I'm like, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do on this thread, I'm out of dog stuff, that vibe passed over me like a storm cloud,"
and Blogger is all "I'm going to fuck with you regardless motherfucker"
it's been a fun week
so let me tell you a fun story about a nice hostess here in Charlotte and my sorry ass
So this girl, this was 1985, was throwing a party and she invited all of my friends, and did not invite me
probably because I had no idea who she was
did she even go to our school?
I'm like, "What the fuck, I'm left out."
So I crashed the party.
And all my friends were there, and they were happy to see me.
Taylor!
Like that.
And the hostess was unhappy. "I did not invite you."
"Yeah, I know. But I'm a good guy. Taylor Carmichael. Nice to meet you."
She's like, "Get out."
I'm like, "Seriously, I'm a good guy. My friends are here. Ask them."
She's like, "Get out."
I'm like, "Come on, baby." I was a little drunk.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE.
Girls in the South are awesome, passionate and nice, but nobody fucks with them in my experience.
(I don't think she said "fuck" but the attitude, man, she didn't need it)
I was gone.
A year later, I'm drunk again, and I decide it will be funny to crash her party again. She knows me now, right? It's got to work. She invited all my friends again.
So I talk a friend into going with me. "Are you sure it's okay? We're not invited."
"Yeah, it's fine. She knows me."
So we get there. And the same damn thing happens. All my friends are happy to see me.
"I think she might kick us out," I said, to one of my friends. "She kicked us out last year."
"Nah, you're a good guy," my friend said. "I'll tell her."
She booted us the fuck out.
I'm like, "You know me now. We did this last year. Isn't this funny?"
My friend the wingman took off. He was vanished, and did not speak to me for like a year. I mean, he was gone.
And she was like, "Get out!"
So I was gone too. Be nice to your hostess! That's the take-away from this story. It's her place.
(Blogger I will do it three fucking times if I have to)
If a dog's sense of smell is up to 100,000 times greater than ours, I estimate he could probably smell a rat pissing in Albuquerque from a suite in the Bellagio.
Not only can he smell it, he's ready to eat that motherfucker
You have to put something under it for short-haired dogs because the short hair will rachet it tailwards putting huge stress on the fabric. A tee-shirt under it works for a week before needing replacement of the tee-shirt. Or a dog coat in colder times.
Obviously there's a purpose for the "Cone of Shame," but you need to be careful that your dog can drink. A lot of these cones do not make much provision for water bowls.
Saint Croix, I have just spent the last three hours reading Chesterton. What was the book? I mean, I have an entire freakin' shelf of GKC about two feet away from me as I type, and were that all in one book it would certainly be a doozy, but so far as I know, no one has yet tried that.
Howard, every time you type "you people," what follows is invariably rubbish. Try not immediately bifurcating your audience into "Me" and "Everyone else." It will improve both your style and your reason.
That's hilarious, Rusty. In LA, growing up, the parents generation who elected Mayor Sam Yorty and Gov Reagan called the town Los Angle Us and called the gardeners and housekeepers "Spanish." I always considered myself half culturally Mexican having grown up in what was once Mexico and playing sports all my life with Mexican kids whom we called Chicano. Chicano Power, Si Se Puede, no grapes. A lot of those Vatos joined the Corps. I can dig a hole and set posts in concrete like a Mexican, but my white half can't sling mud and set block. Man, I'm craving ceviche and an ice cold Negra Modelo right now.
Saint Croix, I have just spent the last three hours reading Chesterton. What was the book? I mean, I have an entire freakin' shelf of GKC about two feet away from me as I type, and were that all in one book it would certainly be a doozy, but so far as I know, no one has yet tried that.
I know! He's brilliant. Big influence on C.S. Lewis, I think. The alleged atheist got me reading Orthodoxy. Not heavy in the page count, just heavy on my mind. I think he's several IQ points higher than I am.
Obviously there's a purpose for the "Cone of Shame," but you need to be careful that your dog can drink. A lot of these cones do not make much provision for water bowls.
When my parents moved to their retirement cottage, I got all of my mom's scrapbooks of me.
I was like, I don't have room, Mom. I also did not have a choice.
So in my kitchen, several scrapbooks are piled up and my dog's water bowl is sitting on them. (You got to watch out for bloat which will kill a dog quick).
We're kind of messy over here but my dog definitely gets water.
Scout used to solve the water problem himself by trying to flip the toilet bowl lid up with his nose. So I'd be on my computer and I'd think, "What the fuck is that noise going on behind me?" It was Scout trying to get into the toilet bowl to drink some water.
Meanwhile, my girl dog did not believe in trying to solve the problem herself. Her solution was to communicate with me. And she did that by picking up the empty water bowl and dropping it on the floor. That's a whole different sound.
Toilet bowl lid flipping up and down = Scout is thirsty
Water bowl getting picked up and dropped = Katy is thirsty
My new dog, Vanna, she is 8. She just suffers in silence. I'm like, "holy shit, the bowl is empty." So I now keep the lid of the toilet bowl up all the time. And I have her water bowl up on a pile of scrapbooks so she doesn't have the bloat. Which is a thing I just found out about a year or two ago. It's a process.
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34 comments:
Easy Rider: Hellhound
What Windows did dogs stick their heads out of before pick up trucks and will they, dogs, be allowed in electrics?
It's not only the eyes, it's the ears that need protected.
That is a beautiful sidecar for those doggies!
I got a reservation for Cat's Cradle at my public library.
(Flashman I had to buy)
Some librarian in Charlotte has decided that there will be no overdue fees while COVID-19 is still a thing.
I was like, "Holy shit! No overdue fines!"
So my floor is littered with books I haven't read yet, and movies I haven't seen.
After a couple of months of that shit, Fucking Blogger gets involved and moves my library books to the "Lost" category.
All of a sudden I owe $300 or some shit like that.
I'm like, "They're not lost! They're on my fucking floor! And the DVDs are right there! I'm busy as shit, man. I'm doing things. Holy shit."
So I have to go over to my public library and explain that I have all the books and movies that I had checked out. (And I was lucky that I did because the pile was getting high).
Liberals try to do well but they spoil us rotten. And if you're going, "who's paying for this shit?" That's a good question.
Anyway, I've got a dozen overdue books and movies, plus one lost one that is not fucking lost it's right on the floor, and they let me check out Vonnegut. I'm actually #2 in line so apparently people are still reading him.
. I'm actually #2 in line so apparently people are still reading him.
little indication that they're Reading him.. Checking him out, and letting him sit on floor, sure
You people could stand to follow the dogs lead and be happy just to be alive.
Eyes need goggles, yes. Ears need protection, yes: a Snoopy helmet?
But also noses. The poor guy is trying to sample the airstream at a hundred feet per second and, excuse me, now he’s got a bug stuck deep in his sinus. Not good!
I would love to take my dogs riding with me, but I'm more worried about their ears than their eyes.
Owen said...
"Eyes need goggles, yes. Ears need protection, yes: a Snoopy helmet?
But also noses. The poor guy is trying to sample the airstream at a hundred feet per second and, excuse me, now he’s got a bug stuck deep in his sinus. Not good!"
It's called speed-reading the pee-mail.
That is one cool pooch.
Dogs will let you do that to them.
Don't try it with a cat.
Howard said...You people could stand to follow the dogs lead and be happy just to be alive.
In English, "you" is second person, number indeterminate (i.e, can be singular or plural). To avoid such embarrassments in the future, you may want ask your English tutor to discuss to spend a little time on the first-person singular.
Checking him out, and letting him sit on floor, sure
that was some big laughs for me
he's going to impress the shit out of anybody looking at the books on my floor.
next to that damn G.K. Chesterton book which is heavy, Althouse, heavy, thanks for that shit. Also that Leo Tolstoy audio book is not in my car where it needs to be. It's just sitting there, piled up, impressing my dog. I'm almost a powerful reader. My big problem now is falling asleep. I used to be able to read a book in a day.
Now it's sleep, snort, sleep, snort, where did the damn book go? Sleep, snort, what page was I on?
I did successfully read The Rights of Women. That was excellent pro-life feminism. At the beach it was all Bernie Rhodenbarr, the cat burglar who solves murders. Light but fun.
hey Blogger, this is a cafe, right?
My dog tore her ACL (or the dog's version of an ACL), so she had surgery this morning. She will be 90% and back to fetching in no time (I hope).
Sentenced to the cone of shame for two weeks. We'll see how that works.
Look at this fucker having a beach day.
I don't know if I want to spend $32 after spending $5,000 on the damn surgery. I guess she'll get the sweet blue cloud collar. Anyway, missing my dog. Pick her up tomorrow.
If a dog's sense of smell is up to 100,000 times greater than ours, I estimate he could probably smell a rat pissing in Albuquerque from a suite in the Bellagio.
Ooh! Wire wheels!
Coolest dogs in town, no doubt!
tim maguire said...
"Howard said...You people could stand to follow the dogs lead and be happy just to be alive.
In English, "you" is second person, number indeterminate (i.e, can be singular or plural). To avoid such embarrassments in the future, you may want ask your English tutor to discuss to spend a little time on the first-person singular."
Howard's a racist. That's how they talk.
Did you see all the self congratulatory horse shit going on in Martha's Vineyard? You'd have thought they invented Mexicans. Which is how they referred to them. To the racist, Biden left everyone south of Austin Texas is a Mexican. The lack of self awareness is truly astounding.
assuming this is a cafe thread
(Blogger will fuck with you if you mess it up!)
it ain't like a sunset, but it's a fucking dog, right?
actually I put a bunch of dog shit on the tik tok thread
Althouse is like, "I'll give him a dog thread for his dog links,"
she is so organized!
I am not organized
Althosue is the sweetest host
(unless she's in a mood, watch your ass if she's in a mood)
(fuck you, Blogger!)
I was in a dog mood yesterday
Now I'm like, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do on this thread, I'm out of dog stuff, that vibe passed over me like a storm cloud,"
and Blogger is all "I'm going to fuck with you regardless motherfucker"
it's been a fun week
so let me tell you a fun story about a nice hostess here in Charlotte and my sorry ass
So this girl, this was 1985, was throwing a party and she invited all of my friends, and did not invite me
probably because I had no idea who she was
did she even go to our school?
I'm like, "What the fuck, I'm left out."
So I crashed the party.
And all my friends were there, and they were happy to see me.
Taylor!
Like that.
And the hostess was unhappy. "I did not invite you."
"Yeah, I know. But I'm a good guy. Taylor Carmichael. Nice to meet you."
She's like, "Get out."
I'm like, "Seriously, I'm a good guy. My friends are here. Ask them."
She's like, "Get out."
I'm like, "Come on, baby." I was a little drunk.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE.
Girls in the South are awesome, passionate and nice, but nobody fucks with them in my experience.
(I don't think she said "fuck" but the attitude, man, she didn't need it)
I was gone.
A year later, I'm drunk again, and I decide it will be funny to crash her party again. She knows me now, right? It's got to work. She invited all my friends again.
So I talk a friend into going with me. "Are you sure it's okay? We're not invited."
"Yeah, it's fine. She knows me."
So we get there. And the same damn thing happens. All my friends are happy to see me.
"I think she might kick us out," I said, to one of my friends. "She kicked us out last year."
"Nah, you're a good guy," my friend said. "I'll tell her."
She booted us the fuck out.
I'm like, "You know me now. We did this last year. Isn't this funny?"
My friend the wingman took off. He was vanished, and did not speak to me for like a year. I mean, he was gone.
And she was like, "Get out!"
So I was gone too. Be nice to your hostess! That's the take-away from this story. It's her place.
(Blogger I will do it three fucking times if I have to)
If a dog's sense of smell is up to 100,000 times greater than ours, I estimate he could probably smell a rat pissing in Albuquerque from a suite in the Bellagio.
Not only can he smell it, he's ready to eat that motherfucker
@Saint Croix. Our German Shepard had two ACL surgeries. The vet warned us after the first one, the second one may be forthcoming. He was correct.
Our dog is good as knew.
Doberman transport.
Cone of shame, consider a recovery suit instead.
You have to put something under it for short-haired dogs because the short hair will rachet it tailwards putting huge stress on the fabric. A tee-shirt under it works for a week before needing replacement of the tee-shirt. Or a dog coat in colder times.
thanks Humperdink and rhhardin
super kind
Obviously there's a purpose for the "Cone of Shame," but you need to be careful that your dog can drink. A lot of these cones do not make much provision for water bowls.
Saint Croix, I have just spent the last three hours reading Chesterton. What was the book? I mean, I have an entire freakin' shelf of GKC about two feet away from me as I type, and were that all in one book it would certainly be a doozy, but so far as I know, no one has yet tried that.
Howard, every time you type "you people," what follows is invariably rubbish. Try not immediately bifurcating your audience into "Me" and "Everyone else." It will improve both your style and your reason.
That's hilarious, Rusty. In LA, growing up, the parents generation who elected Mayor Sam Yorty and Gov Reagan called the town Los Angle Us and called the gardeners and housekeepers "Spanish." I always considered myself half culturally Mexican having grown up in what was once Mexico and playing sports all my life with Mexican kids whom we called Chicano. Chicano Power, Si Se Puede, no grapes. A lot of those Vatos joined the Corps. I can dig a hole and set posts in concrete like a Mexican, but my white half can't sling mud and set block. Man, I'm craving ceviche and an ice cold Negra Modelo right now.
So Don Lemon asks the British Royal Family for reparations.
The spokeswoman for the royal family runs over him like a bullet train.
The look on his face!
When all other angles to the death of the Queen have been beaten, and beaten yet again, there is one headline that can still grab attention,
"Here's the latest news from London, The Queen is still dead"
Saint Croix, I have just spent the last three hours reading Chesterton. What was the book? I mean, I have an entire freakin' shelf of GKC about two feet away from me as I type, and were that all in one book it would certainly be a doozy, but so far as I know, no one has yet tried that.
I know! He's brilliant. Big influence on C.S. Lewis, I think. The alleged atheist got me reading Orthodoxy. Not heavy in the page count, just heavy on my mind. I think he's several IQ points higher than I am.
Thanks, Michelle.
Orthodoxy is the name of the book.
Obviously there's a purpose for the "Cone of Shame," but you need to be careful that your dog can drink. A lot of these cones do not make much provision for water bowls.
When my parents moved to their retirement cottage, I got all of my mom's scrapbooks of me.
I was like, I don't have room, Mom. I also did not have a choice.
So in my kitchen, several scrapbooks are piled up and my dog's water bowl is sitting on them. (You got to watch out for bloat which will kill a dog quick).
We're kind of messy over here but my dog definitely gets water.
Scout used to solve the water problem himself by trying to flip the toilet bowl lid up with his nose. So I'd be on my computer and I'd think, "What the fuck is that noise going on behind me?" It was Scout trying to get into the toilet bowl to drink some water.
Meanwhile, my girl dog did not believe in trying to solve the problem herself. Her solution was to communicate with me. And she did that by picking up the empty water bowl and dropping it on the floor. That's a whole different sound.
Toilet bowl lid flipping up and down = Scout is thirsty
Water bowl getting picked up and dropped = Katy is thirsty
My new dog, Vanna, she is 8. She just suffers in silence. I'm like, "holy shit, the bowl is empty." So I now keep the lid of the toilet bowl up all the time. And I have her water bowl up on a pile of scrapbooks so she doesn't have the bloat. Which is a thing I just found out about a year or two ago. It's a process.
also, not to pick on Howard
but if you substitute "y'all" for "you people"
your English would improve
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