From "I’m a 37-year-old man not having sex. That’s my choice, and I’m happy with it," an anonymous essay in The Guardian.
August 30, 2022
"And here I am, six years later, a 37-year-old man not having sex. And you know what? I’m happy."
"I did what most people do after leaving a partner, and threw myself into my career, socialising and family. Anything but men – and certainly anything but sex.
If I’m honest, though, it’s deeper than that. I’ve never been entirely comfortable with sex and intimacy for a variety of reasons, and I think my reasons for giving it up stem from well before that relationship, which was my first.... Being a gay man further complicated matters.... Many of my friends were in open relationships, more than happy to satisfy their physical needs with a handsome stranger before returning home to the one they say they love.
Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and a vast array of other apps have transformed the dating world. Sex is more accessible than ever before – it’s become almost transactional, without emotion, and I find myself instinctively rebelling against it.... I am routinely and relentlessly mocked by friends for my views on sex – and I understand that completely. To be honest, I am surprised myself.... Sex may be one of life’s most pleasurable experiences, but it is also one of the most intimate. To waste that intimacy with a stranger seems futile."
From "I’m a 37-year-old man not having sex. That’s my choice, and I’m happy with it," an anonymous essay in The Guardian.
From "I’m a 37-year-old man not having sex. That’s my choice, and I’m happy with it," an anonymous essay in The Guardian.
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43 comments:
duh.
"Being a gay man further complicated matters"
Since being gay means not having to deal with women restricting access to sex?
"Many of my friends were in open relationships"
What proportion of gay relationships is actually, consistently "closed"?
"it’s become almost transactional, without emotion"
Wasn't gay marriage supposed to change this?
"an anonymous essay"
One wonders why.
I like this guy. Right on!
Go against the grain and spare yourself the misery and emotional trauma of sexual obsession. Bonus - you won't get a STD or Monkeypox.
Monkeypox ! No mention of that ?
Newspapers really aren't full of news anymore. They're full of lifestyle articles, entertainment industry news, music and restaurant reviews, home decorating ideas, and opinion columns that reflect the thinking of those who read the lifestyle articles.
It's gotten so one would need to avoid reading the 'newspapers' if one wants to actually get accurate news and information. I'm sure 34 pages of individual life angst stories will reach it's peak at some point. We just not there yet. How do these 'newspapers' stay afloat? Old habits dying hard?
You're no longer a gay man, gay man, seeing how you're no longer having the 'sex'. Please refer to yourself as homocel from here on out.
Your large red "H" patch for chest display will be mailed shortly, COD.
The first choice... but, other than the mitigation of human rites (e.g. wicked solution), it has no redeeming value to society or humanity, so, pray tell, why celebrate it, why normalize it? At best, a civilized society should not discourage it.
Thank you for sharing. People really needed to hear all that. /s
Sex in the human species is intercourse between a man and a woman, involves penis penetration of the vagina. Other forms of penetration (e.g oral, rectal) are sexual by popular social appeal.
That said, transgender, trans/social, and trans/science is trendy.
"full of joy, merry; light-hearted, carefree;"
Semantic drift.
Temujin - Goes without saying ... If the "news" organization were able to report on the Democrat Party corruption - the pages would be filled.
They are not able to do so --- weather pressured by higher powers - or willingly.
It’s interesting that he finds the alternative to marriage as being transactional, because marriage today and throughout history has always been transactional as well.
Hard to believe he can’t find someone who shares his values on monogamy.
I always joke about the local media. It's a silly mix of pro-democrat party platforms and talking points and baby-sitting. "Be careful out there!" ... "Don't take any risks in life"
It's the cradle to grave baby-coddling of our culture.
As Heinlein said, sex without love or commitment is merely healthy exercise. We are cautioned to not take a fictional character's dialogue as an expression of the authors belief, but here...
I guess men not only don't need women, they don't need other men.
"Man develops normal, healthy attitude to sex". That shouldn't be noteworthy for a publication, but this is the Guardian, and it's 2022, so maybe it is?
Newspapers really aren't full of news anymore. They're full of lifestyle articles, entertainment industry news, music and restaurant reviews, home decorating ideas, and opinion columns that reflect the thinking of those who read the lifestyle articles.
And, this is another 'Man bites Dog' piece. Omitting the fact that the man is gay in the headline leaves it for a surprise in the body of the piece. So, first, how shocking that a healthy male has given up sex. Second, how shocking that author (and editor) finds male-upon-male intercourse transactional, when we have been instructed for decades it is just as romantic as male-with-female intercourse. And finally how shocking and tragic that instead of doubling down and trying harder, he just gives up.
Yeah, I am going to call bullshit on this essay.
Good thing. Monkeypox is real.
"Many of my friends were in open relationships, more than happy to satisfy their physical needs with a handsome stranger before returning home to the one they say they love."
Keys.
Not my circus.
Not my monkeypox.
Wel, he's not getting monkeypox if he continues in his ways...
so the old rules made sense. and they even apply to gay men and women. wow. It's almost like human nature hasn't changed much, and when people find this out, they are shocked.
After monkeypox, and AIDS, are we finally able to say that having 5 or 6 or more partners in a night might just be a bad thing? The media has avoided this fact, and we all know why.
I remember AIDS in the bay area. and the left blaming Republicans and such for not 'helping' to stop it. The men I know who survived became chaste, or, horror of horrors, stayed in monogamous relationships.
But the official narrative must not be disrupted.
The tag says it all. Celibacy isn’t a new fad. It’s not for everyone, but neither is homosexuality yet it is for this person. I would also file this as U B U.
Pretty smart to take five with that monkey virus.
Coming upon the phrase 'disco rice' first thing in the morning is one of the many reasons this blog is a treasure. Same with the many side trips following the trail of other phrases and words in the english language.
Having hauled many tons of rotten banana, mango and guava to the dump, I can say it is an accurate and vivid description.
--- transgender, trans/social, and trans/science is trendy
Very trandy.
It's nice to see Britain's Guardian working side by side with CDC.
https://www.cdc.gov/poxvirus/monkeypox/prevention/sexual-health.html
"many of my friends were in open relationships"
Translation: the gay lifestyle is inherently promiscuous
"Sex in the human species is intercourse between a man and a woman, involves penis penetration of the vagina. Other forms of penetration (e.g oral, rectal) are sexual by popular social appeal."
A silly statement that says nothing.
Intercourse between men and women involving the vagina is how humans procreate. That form of sexual behavior, and all other forms of sexual behavior, including "other forms of penetration" have always been sex "by popular social appeal," as you put it. In other words, homosexual sex has always existed in the human species, and oral and anal penetrative sex has always been part of human sexual activities among heterosexuals and homosexuals.
My son is 36, single, working and so far as I know, celibate and not that interested in sex or romance. At least, his life in those areas is utterly opaque to me.
I don't know how I'd react if he told us he was seeing monkeys.
Is it remarkable for a gay man to not have sex? There are many hetero men not having sex either.
Seems odd to highlight the uniqueness.
Beto O'Rourke postponed campaign events due to an infection and Reuters wants you to know it's definitely NOT monkeypox
A spokesperson for Beto O'Rourke told Reuters that doctors diagnosed him with a bacterial infection, not monkeypox, as some online are claiming
i Don't understand? People should be PROUD of their Gay tendencies, and that includes admitting you picked up the monkeypox while at your last gay orgy
If you are really truly happy, you don't have to declare it. In fact, you should keep it to yourself because everyone else can see it clearly and it's not polite to brag.
As I read this- 12 mentions of monkeypox in 9 posts- and it wasn't mentioned by our hostess or apparently in the article.
Gee, I wonder why the writer didn't bring that up. Or for that matter- fear of any other STDs more common among folk of his kind.
I mean, with the worldwide coviocy we saw all kinds of people give up all kinds of social interaction. For fear of a disease that for most people is nothing more than a bad cold. And for many, unaware that they have it unless they test for it. But disease fear didn't reckon into his descision, not at all.
Makes one wonder, doesn't it?
Most of what the left claims is sexual freedom involves mutual masturbation
"many of my friends were in open relationships"
The hope and dream promised by social progress is that reproductive health will forgive debts conceived by choice through a policy of abortion and sequestration of "burdens" in darkness, at the twilight fringe, under an ethical religion. Surely, a progressive path and grade.
So? Nobody cares.
Most of what the left claims is sexual freedom involves mutual masturbation
Also freedom from sex through castration, augmentation, and other simulations of life and death.
They can now call MonkeyPox Betopox.
This option becomes easier with age. Some people are making it without having tried even having one kid, which is sad.
At 37, he's likely using porn, which is also sad.
Oh good grief. I’m a gay man. So your relationship didn’t work out. It is not special just because you are gay. No sex? Here’s a bottle of lotion. Plenty of folks who go without for while. You are not special. You are average.
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