"And that’s move my seat on a plane to accommodate you so that you can sit with your friends or family or concubines or whoever else you’re flying with. Your grandma’s on the flight with you and you want to sit next to her? Granny should’ve taught you to plan ahead. Maybe Granny wants a break from her thoughtless progeny. You ever think about that? Of course not, because you’re thoughtless. You’re separated from your 6-year-old son? Braylin has to learn to fend for himself. Plus, this ain’t Antarctica. It’s an 80-minute, temperature-controlled trip to Albany on a flying couch. He’ll be fine next to his new Uncle D. Your grandma’s on the flight with you and you want to sit next to her? Granny should’ve taught you to plan ahead."
Writes Damon Young, author of "What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker: A Memoir in Essays," in "No, I will not switch airplane seats with you" (WaPo). He had me at "Braylin has to learn to fend for himself."
Anyway, though Young is extra generous to people in other situations, he hates flying. It's "a thoroughly uncomfortable experience" for him. It's "vaguely fascist." And he needs his window seat because he's got a big head that must lean against the wall.
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58 comments:
Democracy Dies in Darkness!
What a dick.
I will trade with you for an equal or better seat.
You should be downgrading yourself, not me, to make this work.
Churlish, to say the least. Peckerwood Nation.
"It's "vaguely fascist.""
There is one thing I haven’t done. Will not do. Will never do. Take anyone seriously who uses "fascist" this way.
His Momma never taught him much--Bless his hard little heart. Back in the day when airlines started to shun smokers (and even though I didn't smoke) I used to like to sit with the smoker types. They were more easy going--less fascist in their treatment of others.
I would have tried to swap seats the the person sitting behind this asshole and kicked the back of his seat all the way to Albany.
I thought it was funny.
I can't read the article. Is his refusal confined to requests to switch to less desirable seats? That would be understandable.
Damon is a jerk. It's OK to say no if they want to trade a middle or aisle seat for a window, if a window seat is important. But, to rationalize it some way other than being a prick doesn't work for me. The people who are split up, didn't do so out of poor planning. They may have no status (privilege) to choose their seats.
I hope he has to sit next to an obnoxious, smelly kid named Braylin.
"Needs" a window seat to lean his "big head against the wall"?
He definitely has a big head. Too bad they don't put seat backs on the planes he apparently flies. No place to rest his big head.
The way I constantly see black people use D as slang for penis in social media I find it problematical he would call himself Uncle D while talking about sitting next to someone’s young son.
Other than that he may be histrionic about it but I wouldn’t trade seats with someone if I had to take a seat I didn’t want. If I go to the trouble to book early, pay extra etc for a specific seat I am not giving it up for someone who booked 49.99 seats and then expects someone else to move to accommodate their family’s needs that they were too cheap or too unorganized to plan for.
On my last flight, the young man next to me took, literally, about 100 selfies. Much posing, arms up/arms down, hat on/hat off, looking at/looking away. My close proximity seemed to in no way inhibit this extended performance. I hope his social media followers were duly impressed with his presence in the cheap section of the sky bus.
I'm guessing this is his version of 'bad-ass black guy.'
Show them wypipo something!
More like 'sad' than 'bad.'
Wow. Most of us are embarrassed by our poor character. And we hope to learn to be better.
There seems to be a bee in his bonnet, likely unrelated to seat swap requests. He should figure that out then apologize for such a stupid article, flaunting his superior attitude. Get over yourself.
I do think it would be annoying to have people ask to trade seats so adults can sit next to each other on a relatively short flight.
I thought the bit about Braylin fending for himself was pretty funny, too. I'm not sure how serious to take this article. Seems like it's fairly tongue in cheek.
If not though, "It's "a thoroughly uncomfortable experience" for him. It's "vaguely fascist." And he needs his window seat because he's got a big head that must lean against the wall."
Someone should explain to Damon "It’s an 80-minute, temperature-controlled trip to Albany on a flying couch."
"I can't read the article. Is his refusal confined to requests to switch to less desirable seats? That would be understandable."
Yes, in the sense that he asserts that he's already picked the seat he wants and paid for it. He planned ahead. The person asking him to move did not (he assumes).
"Yes, in the sense that he asserts that he's already picked the seat he wants and paid for it. He planned ahead. The person asking him to move did not (he assumes)."
"Planned ahead"? He's clearly a white supremacist.
I'm with Damon. People who book late and/or cheap and then try to panhandle their way into better seats once they get on the plane are jerks. Pack your own lunch, hippie.
Okay, i wondered where this story would fit in.. It fit's in HERE
Last week, i was in Des Moines for a family reunion (my mom AND my aunt's 90's bDays were last week)
While my brotherInLaw was gassing up, i watched a guy drive up to the convenience store, taking the last open slot.. As he pulled in, the car next to him pulled out.
The guy then backed out of his slot (i THOUGHT, to better align in slot?); and pulled back in, so that he could take Both slots.
I was surprised about this effort, to be an asshole. Then the guy got out of his car, and went in.
Any guess what color his dreadlocks were?
“Damon is a jerk. It's OK to say no if they want to trade a middle or aisle seat for a window, if a window seat is important. But, to rationalize it some way other than being a prick doesn't work for me. The people who are split up, didn't do so out of poor planning. They may have no status (privilege) to choose their seats.”
And I would retort that that wasn’t my problem. You either build and/or buy status on the airplane, and building it often requires putting up with a lot of BS.
I should think the whole ask to swap thing is dying out now that airlines have a dozen different prices for seats on a flight. But funny.
Spitballs if I ask you to? All you have to do is say, sorry, no.
It's one thing to be a dick on petty scale. It's another to be this proud of it.
I've been quick to trade as long as I get an upgrade or stay even. I won't, however, give up my leg room or aisle seat, or have to go into an otherwise less comfortable seat. We all have access to the same seat selectors, and I paid for my amenities.
I haven't flown since TSA was established- and will avoid it in the future. I did trade seats once. The plane sat on the runway for over an hour at O'Hare. I had started talking with the young lady in the seat in front of me in the terminal- not knowing she would be seated in from to me. She kneeled on the seat facing me and we talked- and talked- and talked- and after 15-20 minutes her seatmate offered to trade seats with me. I accepted.
We went out on a couple or 3 dates after that. We were from opposite ends or the economic spectrum- and she was on the higher end. I don't think her parents approved of my showing her how to navigate mass transit and the PATH tubes and subway to get from Newark airport to their Manhattan apartment rather than just grab a cab, even though it saved a crapload of money. And I accompanied her the whole way so she wouldn't get lost. Only one brief detour for me from a subway stop to the building then back to the subway.
One of the two young ladies I dated from the upper crust. I'm sure you've heard the old saying there's no difference between the super rich and everyone else except they have money. It's not true. Everything they do, anywhere they go, is a business decision one way or another. Even a decision to stay home for the night rather than go out is decided on how it will affect business. Including "Who are my children dating?" I suspect the post on "Estranged parents often tell me that their adult child is rewriting the history of their childhood, accusing them of things they didn’t do, and/or failing to acknowledge the ways in which the parent demonstrated their love and commitment." is almost exclusively from that upper crust. Those of us who grew up with an alcoholic parent could blame them for our life's problems, but generally don't. We're too busy living.
Our own 5 adult children credit us with bringing them up right. They've even told us so. They stayed at friend's houses overnight, their friends stayed here. More often the latter- we let the guests have free reign to our larder and snack food. Their friends, and my children, never saw my wife smack me in the side of the head with a frying pan for coming home late.
Just yesterday I saw a guy give up his aisle seat in exchange for a middle seat in the same row to a guy who wanted to sit next to his wife. It was just a two hour flight but I would never have done that for him for the reasons articulated above. Sadly I had a great coach seat ruined by an enormous man who took the seat next to me. Fat shit.
People can ask and he can decline. I would not be rude when he declines. But he’s factually wrong about how people find themselves split up. It suggests he doesn’t try to travel in a group. Airlines will break up seats that were purchased and selected together by one person, months in advance, even when the booking shows some of the travelers to be children.
The best thing about being retired is having the time to not fly.
I know someone who only wants to sit next to her husband because she gets air sick and vomits. The airline split their seats up on them once because they were displaced by higher status people. She asked someone to trade with them and he said no and he had to sit next to her the whole flight while she vomited into the air sick bag. I thought it served the jerk right.
Why do assholes like this writer adore talking about themselves as if they are in a therapy session?
Does this come from narcissism, watching too much TV or going through too much therapy? I suspect that it is a combination of all three.
What type of audience finds this stuff interesting?
My husband and I, and the kids when they travel with us, fly Southwest pretty much exclusively on domestic flights, because we have such status as is available on that rather egalitarian airline. He is always trying to game the seating arrangements - get everyone together and so on. I don't care, myself. I don't like talking on planes; I like reading. I can read next to anyone. And I can talk with my husband all the other hours of my life.
I have traded seats in the past. However, I put my foot down the time that a woman was sitting across the aisle from her friend and next to a huge 300 pound man and she wanted me to switch seats with her so she could sit right next to her friend on the same side. That was just a kindness too far for me.
Sure he's a dick, but it is a problem. There's a class of people that think, if they ask reasonably nicely, that one is not entitled or permitted to refuse their request. I've had people get really angry that I wouldn't switch with them, and stomp off to the back of the plane leaving me in my extended-legroom seat, which I took the trouble to book. So I see his point. An equivalent seat, no probs - maybe. I still have the power of preference, though. But the expectation of deference: That's a bug problem.
It's the same with people coming onto the highway, expecting the rest of the Interstate to defer to their grand entrance, leaning on their horn when it doesn't happen, and not recognizing for a second that the onus is on them to Yield, dammit, not the rest of the Planet Earth.
“There seems to be a bee in his bonnet, likely unrelated to seat swap requests.”
There may very well be a bee in his beret, but it’s a fact he’s got a bug up his ass.
Howard @2:32pm…
Best comment you’ve ever made.
He hates grannies so much he hated on them twice in the same paragraph. Maybe granny could teach him to proof read.
Airlines will break up seats that were purchased and selected together by one person, months in advance, even when the booking shows some of the travelers to be children.
Happens to us a LOT. We are retired and take a couple of international flights a year and sprinkle in some domestic ones. Typically we schedule months in advance. I'd say one in four flights has us change seats on one or more legs. Usually splitting us up. My wife can often correct this, but it's a pain in the arse. Delta probably knows my wife's voice.
The airlines always seat my kids next to me, and I never pick in advance.
And I wouldn't ask for trades even if we were split up.
Plus, this ain’t Antarctica. It’s an 80-minute, temperature-controlled trip to Albany on a flying couch. He’ll be fine next to his new Uncle D
Ok Groomer.
I'm asking you to swap your window seat for my wife's window seat so my wife and I can sit together, because we had to book late enough that there were no seats together.
But if you're desperate to sit next to me, I'm happy to shove my elbows into you for the entire flight. Or ask my kid to spill several glasses of water on you.
Won't trade your window / aisle seat for a middle? That's entirely reasonable of you
Won't trade your window / aisle for a different window / aisle in the same class of service? I'm going to make your flight a living hell
Freeman Hunt said...
I do think it would be annoying to have people ask to trade seats so adults can sit next to each other on a relatively short flight.
I hate having other people in my space. Which is why I work really hard to book in planes where the seats are 2 across , not 3, and my wife and I are next to each other.
Because I don't mind her in my personal space.
So I find it entirely reasonable to ask someone to be willing to switch same seat types, even for a 2 hours on the plane flight
A big head.
Plus, he's an ass.
And proud of it.
What are you driving in the merge lane for?
I'm with Kevin.
I always pay extra for the extra legroom. I also always get an aisle seat when I can. Aisle and middle when my wife is with me.
There is no way I am going to swap with someone who is not extended legroom/aisle. I don't like bulkhead seats either.
Don't even fucking ask me.
OTOH, if you want to swap XL/Aisle with me, I'll be happy to oblige.
And if you are sitting next to me, don't even think of asking for my personal health information (Are you vaccinated?) I guarantee you will not like my response.
John LGKTQ Henry
I will also complain if I have purchased extra legroom and luck out with an empty middle seat and some jerk from the cheap seats tries to muscle in.
Get back with the peasants.
Aaaaannnndddd... There's a Seinfeld episode for that. (Elaine tries to sneak up to first with Jerry. Too lazy to find a clip, though.)
John LGKTQ Henry
Just to point out. Some airlines require you to sit next to small children and also make it impossible to pick seats in advance to allow you to do so. I certainly appreciate other passengers anger about dealing with a problem that is in.no way their fault, but the "poor planning" may e that they decided to fly with children at all, not failure to pick seats in advance. Presumably some people would say, just don't fly at all then,which is a somewhat fair point. But a rule of : never fly with children until they are old enough to sit on their own creates its own set of problems.
I can’t relate to this conversation lol. Thank goodness.
My husband and I have flown once together, were seated together towards the front of the plane. The stewardess asked that two people move so two other people could have those seats and no one volunteered until she caught our eye- nodded questioningly- and how could we say no?
We got “behind the wing” seats- but- know nothing of air space. A seat is a seat- the trip point A to B. Oh, well.
Flying, itself, sucks.
Once airlines started charging for seat selections it became completely fine to refuse seat swap requests in all situations. Offer money if you want to switch to compensate for what the other person paid to get that seat.
Notice how he specifies an 80 minute flight. I’m totally with him on this. My husband and I roll our eyes over people making a fuss to sit together on short flights, especially couples. You’re flying to Europe? My guess is you planned better. When flying across the country, we often take aisle and window. Some poor stranger gets the middle. Or, we will take aisle seats, maybe across from each other, maybe not. We both traveled a lot for business, so we care more about our individual seats than sitting together. I will not trade an aisle seat for anything else. And I won’t change just so some couple can sit together. You can handle it.
Does Southwest still herd passengers into chutes like cattle and board dozens at a time, without seat assignments? Because that makes sense to me. A bus with wings can be filled like a bus for a short haul flight. Head 'em up, herd 'em aboard. Rawhide!
Or, if you pay more money than Southwest charges, and have the mental ability to plan ahead, you sit where you paid to sit. With the seat pricing now being manipulated so a selected seat costs more than one the airline assigns, if you want my seat after boarding (hey, even on Southwest) start your pitch with, "I'll give you $xxx to swap seats with me."
Won't trade your window / aisle for a different window / aisle in the same class of service? I'm going to make your flight a living hell
And you'd be a jerk for doing so. There are lots of reasons for picking a particular seat in the same class of service. If I have a tight connection, I try to get as close to the front as possible within my class, except for bulkheads or any seat within 2-3 rows of a toilet if I have an aisle seat. The noise level can vary quite a bit on a plane, especially on smaller commuter flights. I remember boarding a small prop plane and feeling lucky that I got a front seat after so many had boarded. I soon found out why. All the regulars on the flight knew it was very noisy up front because of the propellers.
Window seats also vary. Sometime the windows don't align with your seat and if your sitting over the engine, you view is obstructed.
Most frequent fliers do plan ahead for their seat selection, especially for long haul. There are websites like Seat Guru where you can see the benefits and disadvantages of a particular seat.
Generally, I'll switch for a similarly seat if asked nicely and if requester doesn't come on too strong or I sense that they feel entitled to make me move.
Amexpat said...
Me: Won't trade your window / aisle for a different window / aisle in the same class of service? I'm going to make your flight a living hell
And you'd be a jerk for doing so.
Possibly. But he was a jerk first, and I always reserve the right to retaliate
Most frequent fliers do plan ahead for their seat selection, especially for long haul. There are websites like Seat Guru where you can see the benefits and disadvantages of a particular seat.
Yes, I know, I used to use it all the time
Generally, I'll switch for a similarly seat if asked nicely and if requester doesn't come on too strong or I sense that they feel entitled to make me move.
I'm not entitled to make you move, which is why I ask. And why, when we can't book together, I book us in the most similar seats to what we want that I can find, so the "move ask" is reasonable.
But the original author is a total ass, and deserves an elbow in the ribs
"Young is extra generous to people in other situations"
Young claims that he is extra generous to people in other situations. I'm skeptical.
Paid extra once for more legroom.
Got asked to move by mother and kid.
Never paid extra again. Airline is at fault, not passengers.
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