January 4, 2022

Freaking out over J.D. Vance's beard.

This is a bit strange — by Simon van Zuylen-Wood in the Washington Post — "The Radicalization of J.D. Vance/As he runs for the Senate, the ‘Hillbilly Elegy’ author has gone from media darling to establishment pariah. Is his new, fiery, right-wing persona an act? Or is something more interesting going on?"

It begins: "Let’s start with the beard." Okaaaay.
J.D. Vance didn’t used [sic] to have one. 
Pretty much true of everyone with a beard, but he didn't have one when the elite first encountered him... and adored him:
The Vance who in 2016 achieved incandescent literary fame with his memoir “Hillbilly Elegy” was all baby fat and rounded edges.
Back when he was right where you wanted him, you loved his fat face. Or so you say.
The Vance I’m watching now, from the back of a coffee shop in the depressed steel town of Steubenville, Ohio, has covered up his softer side....
Because if you cover your ill-defined chin line, you're covering it up.
Recently, I asked one of his law school friends to tell me about his personality. “He’s lovely,” the friend said, describing Vance’s smile and laugh. Then he paused. He wanted to talk about Vance’s facial hair. Even as a slightly older law student — Vance had served four years in the Marines before enrolling at Ohio State as an undergraduate — he came across as guileless, boyish. No longer. 
“He looks different,” the friend said. “He’s going for a kind of severe masculinism thing. He looks like Donald Trump Jr.”

He looked chubbily babyish before, and now he's — what? — tricking us into perceiving him as a man?!

Toward the end of our conversation, which was mostly about the way the culture shock of Yale Law School informed Vance’s politics, I asked the friend if he wanted to discuss anything else. He returned to the beard. “That’s honestly occupied an outsized amount of my attention,” he said. 

The beard isn’t a bad symbol for Vance’s U.S. Senate campaign — or at least for how that campaign is being received....Vance’s new political identity isn’t so much a façade or a reversal as an expression of an alienated worldview.... Vance has become one of the leading political avatars of an emergent populist-intellectual persuasion that tacks right on culture and left on economics. Known as national conservatism or sometimes “post-liberalism,” it is — in broad strokes — heavily Catholic, definitely anti-woke, skeptical of big business, nationalist about trade and borders, and flirty with Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orban.... 

I don't know how the beard symbolizes that, other than that those things are masculine. How weird to get caught up in his beard! 

71 comments:

Kay said...

This guy went to Yale, right?

Ann Althouse said...

"This guy went to Yale, right?"

I wouldn't blame the friend for the way the Post chooses to quote him. I suspect that there was a lot of nice stuff to go along with “He’s lovely,” but that wasn't want the writer wanted. The stray fixation on the beard was useful.

It's hard to understand how reporters will use your words when you talk with them for a while. 1% of what you say may make it to the article. You have to guard every statement, because it could be the one thing they use.

Joe Smith said...

Lots of Hollywood actors and pro athletes with beards who are clean-shaven...

Drago said...

Little Known Fact: In the Age of Democratical control of government, Beards are Infrastructure.

I hope JD gets his share of that Infrastructure bill.

Drago said...

Joe Smith: "Lots of Hollywood actors and pro athletes with beards who are clean-shaven..."

You left out the most recent one: Corey Booker, who was just so gosh darn "into" Rosario Dawson, but dang it! She is west coast and he is east coast so that "perfect couple" just wasn't able to make it work!

I feel sorry for those kids. If they couldn't make it, what chance is there for the rest of us?

Readering said...

I have a confession to make. Since the pandemic I have cut back on shaving. A lot. My beard comes and goes. I hope no one who sees me speaks to a reporter about it without giving me a chance to address their concerns first. Don't get me started about what I've let happen to my hair.

But at least I don't wear open toed shoes or sandals.

Joe Smith said...

'It's hard to understand how reporters will use your words when you talk with them for a while. 1% of what you say may make it to the article. You have to guard every statement, because it could be the one thing they use.'

Bring your own tape recorder!

Not too long ago a pro 2nd amendment spokesman was interviewed by Katie Couric.

She added a dramatic pause in the interview and it made them look really bad.

But they had their own recording of the interview and sued her.

They didn't win, but the world knew that she wasn't playing with a straight bat...

Readering said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joe Smith said...

'You left out the most recent one: Corey Booker...'

I want to give proper credit, but I think it was Ace (Ace of Spades) who started referring to him a 'Fiercely Heterosexual Corey Booker.'

: )

rhhardin said...

J.D. Vance didn’t used to have one.

Didn't use to have one. Only one verb carries tense, and here it's "did." "He used to have one" is correct though, when it's the main verb.

Peter Spieker said...

“1% of what you say may make it to the article. You have to guard every statement, because it could be the one thing they use”.

Of course, and that’s why so many interviews are tedious and so many quotes in news stories are completely predictable. Stick to the talking points. Stay in the defensive crouch. Don’t feed their narrative.

Jamie said...

I guess we're only ten comments in as I write, but I am surprised that no one so far has pointed out the penchant of the left-leaning for less "traditionally masculine" men. Results from their fierce opposition to the Patriarchy, I expect.

RMc said...

Republicans are evil when they grow beards. And also when they don't.

Andrew said...

Vance should say "Jesus had a beard" and watch them really freak out.

wild chicken said...

Alas, poor Vance. Trying to fill that Trumpian void, without being Trump.

He's just too transparent, like Cruz. Now comes the jejune millennial beard.

Meh.

madAsHell said...

But at least I don't wear open toed shoes or sandals.

No Birkenstocks??

Wince said...

"That's the thing, the word beard shook a lot of people up. 'Beard!' It's not American sounding."

"George Carlin, on beards'"

Skeptical Voter said...

I've had a beard--and a couple of moustaches along the way in life. But I look at young guys these days who always seem to be three or four days since their last shave. I finally asked my barber how they achieved that look. Well dang they trim their whiskers most every day with a barber clipper. Being young men I assume they believe the look attracts young women.

Vance's beard is quite a bit longer. But when a liberal or Yale law graduate (not necessarily a classmate of his) looks at Vaqnce's beard these days, he or she sees something else. Ol J. D. is going back to his roots, with a black slouch hat, bib overalls with one strap off his shoulder, and a black bushy beard down to his chest. He's gone full ancestral moonshiner. That may be what they see--but frankly I hope he brings a can of white lightning whoopass to Washington D.C. and the Senate.

If I recall correctly when he was at Yale Law one of this then current classmates told Vance that [Vance] "didn't belong there".

madAsHell said...

Most older guys with facial hair are just trying to disguise a double-chin.

Joe Smith said...

'Most older guys with facial hair are just trying to disguise a double-chin.'

More chins than a Chinese phone book : )

Howard said...

He's a fat fuck with a child molester countenance like Cholo Cruz. He's covering his gluttony with vanity.

madAsHell said...

J. D. is going back to his roots, with a black slouch hat, bib overalls with one strap off his shoulder, and a black bushy beard down to his chest. He's gone full ancestral moonshiner.

I just don't see that as being a problem.

rehajm said...

Ya gotta have a hook, right?

madAsHell said...

Cholo??

I'm not surprised.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

Simon van Zuylen-Wood's Dream:

Simon: Hey, isn't that JD Vance?

Other Reporter: Yeah, it is.

Simon: Did he have that beard before or is that new?

Other Reporter: No, it's new.

Simon: When did that happen?

Other Reporter: I don’t know…sometime…you know…

*PING*

Simon: Holy shit! That’s a corncob pipe!

Other Report: Huh? What?

Simon: A corncob pipe! It just appeared in his mouth!

Other Reporter: I don’t….

*PING* *PING*

Simon: His suit! His suit…it just turned into a pair of overalls and his shoes disappeared!

[Other Reporter starts giving Simon the stink eye and slowly starts to sidle away.]

*PING* *PING* *PING*

Simon: Now he’s got a jug and…and a floppy hat and…and… IS THAT A SHOTGUN?!!!!!!

JD Vance: Whut yew lookin’ at, City Boy?!?! [Raises shotgun]

Simon: ARMAGEDDON!!!!!!!!*

[Simon runs screaming from the room as a perfectly normal JD Vance and group of pool reports look on bewildered.]

*As in "Armageddon outa here!".

gilbar said...

technically, isn't J.D. Vance also 6 years older than he was in 2016?
i mean, aside from having a beard; a Looking older... Isn't he: Older?

who was it, that said, that Churchhill used to say:
If a man's not a Liberal in his 20's; he has no heart
If a man's not a Conservative in his 40's (or, 37); he has no brain
????

Michael K said...


Blogger Howard said...

He's a fat fuck with a child molester countenance like Cholo Cruz. He's covering his gluttony with vanity.


Another thoughtful comment by Howard a week after the child molester trial ended with Bill Clinton unmentioned.

Drago said...

Howard: "He's a fat fuck with a child molester countenance like Cholo Cruz. He's covering his gluttony with vanity."

Come on Howard, you're slipping!

You forgot to mention crossing state lines, the russians and also how JD Vance is responsible for the inflation you say doesn't exist.

Let's hope you get back on track soon.

rcocean said...

Looks better with a beard. But I'm less concerned with his looks than his political views. Is his current Pro-Trump rhetoric just a "beard" to cover his standard issue Yale elitism? WIll he "Shave off" those Trumpian views, once elected?

Its happened before.

Of course, the usual Sasse/Romney/Kemp trick was to just not criticize Trump - while on the Campaign trail - and allow people to think your silence as approval. Its funny how Cassidy and Sasse in 2020, and Romney in 2018, did nothing on the campaign trail to keep people from thinking they supported Trump. And its only after they took office, that they SUDDENLY rediscovered how much they loathed him.

rcocean said...

WHile it doesn't apply to Vance, many old guys wear beards and facial hair to distract from their lack of hair on top. Of course, some like the Brian Seltzer Jeff Zucker dickhead look.

Drago said...

Anything worth saying is worth saying 5 times.

Wa St Blogger said...

Being young men I assume they believe the look attracts young women.

I have two young adult daughters (and one fashion aware son), I can assure you, looks matter to young women. They are judging a boy's fashion, looks and grooming.

Joe Smith said...

"He's a fat fuck with a child molester countenance like Cholo Cruz."

Howard has never met a 'Cholo' in his life and would probably crap his pants if he did : )

cubanbob said...

madAsHell said...
Most older guys with facial hair are just trying to disguise a double-chin."

Yes sir! That's me and as noted upthread the beard distracts the view of my barely existing hairline.

It appears that Vance is campaigning as a cultural conservative and a Trump populist on policies. I can live with that although I prefer Trump's populist policies and Trump's moderate cultural views.

Maynard said...

As someone with an on-and-off beard for 50 years (No. Not my wives), I find that the more grey the better. My beard is now entirely grey and white and it looks maaahvelous.

When my beard was dark, I was required to shave it off for at least two professional jobs. Corporate people were not yet woke and did not think guys with beards were serious about their work.

Now I guess if you are a Republican or a conservative, the beard makes you look scary. If you are a lefty Democrat, it makes you look thoughtful and sensitive.

cubanbob said...

Apparently the ever so sophisticated Simon van Zuylen-Wood thought Vance evolved from his Hillbilly roots only to find that Vance apparently to his horror has devolved. Devo wasn't just a band to his surprise.

Drago said...

Anything worth saying is worth saying 3 times.

farmgirl said...

Worth saying 3x, eh?

Mike of Snoqualmie said...

Most older guys with facial hair are just trying to disguise a double-chin.

Nope. For me, I just don't want to shave. I've had a beard for about 30-years now and only need to shave about once every three weeks.

farmgirl said...

All the old hippies have beards. They are definitely Liberal- back when the word and definition aligned.
I finally watched Hillbilly Elegy- I think it’s similar to The Beans of Egypt Maine. It was hard for me to watch that.
The young man who took a lot of abuse by his Mom- he joined the military- and went to law school… holy shit-

My lightbulb just went off.
Wow.

Wa St Blogger said...

Nope. For me, I just don't want to shave. I've had a beard for about 30-years now and only need to shave about once every three weeks.

My beard began in 1986, uninterrupted (but always trimmed). The blogger spouse prefers it. I am considered thin, no extra chins for me.

iowan2 said...

Judge a person by their hair??? Haven't women attained equality? Do they deserve to be treated that way. This is soo 1960's, When are we going to stop treating women diffe....oh, my bad, Vance is a guy.

This piece is just a vehicle to keep the tribes fighting

I've had my beard for 35 years. Last time I was clean shaven my daughter was 2. She was in and out of the bathroom and as I used the clippers and then shaved, Got all done and my daughter came around the corner and screamed like she saw a monster.
I've had the beard ever since. Full beard trimmed once a week with clean shaven edges, from Halloween, to March, then a well manicured Van Gogh. till Halloween. People may try to attach some meaning to my hair...but its just hair.

Mikey NTH said...

Maybe they fear the return of the bearded Republican politician like Lincoln or Grant who will treat Democrats like they need to be treated. With malice towards none and sustained artillery fire for all.

mezzrow said...

"Devo wasn't just a band to his surprise."

I guess it's the Ohio thing. *shrugs*

Clyde said...

Lenin had a beard. So did Castro and Che Guevara. Lefties loved those guys' beards.

Yancey Ward said...

They loved Barack Obama, and he had a beard.

farmgirl said...

ROTFL Yancey!

Michael K said...

I'm not comfortable calling Michelle a beard but she does see a bit that way.

madAsHell said...

Lenin had a beard. So did Castro and Che Guevara. Lefties loved those guys' beards.

.....and don't forget my all-time favorite. Yasser Arafat!!

Tim said...

My advice is, anytime a reporter tries to talk to you, about anything including the weather, your answer should be "No comment" unless you have your own recording going on.

walter said...

"J.D. Vance didn’t used [sic] to have one."
AA: Pretty much true of everyone with a beard
Ha!
More like sideburns, this baby needs a "wife-beater" tank:
https://www.unilad.co.uk/life/minnesota-dad-jokes-his-newborn-is-mini-wolverine-after-he-was-born-with-beard/

Sebastian said...

"Back when he was right where you wanted him, you loved his fat face."

In prog propaganda, faces are tools, beards are tools, etc. etc., ad infinitum. Boring, I know. More predictable than sunrises. (Or are those fighting words chez Althouse?)

Mary Beth said...

Didn't use to have one. Only one verb carries tense, and here it's "did." "He used to have one" is correct though, when it's the main verb.

Thank you for explaining that.

MadisonMan said...

It's hard to understand how reporters will use your words when you talk with them
My Dad stopped talking to reporters at the College Paper because of the way they used his quotes.
Also: Drago at 549 PM: (laughing)

Rollo said...

Weaselly style writers can turn anybody into a pariah in DC. Can they do it in Ohio? I don't know whether Vance is worth voting for, but I really hope that the Post's style swamis' reach doesn't extend that far.

Quaestor said...

He's a fat fuck with a child molester countenance like Cholo Cruz. He's covering his gluttony with vanity.

Takes one to know one, Howard.

Quaestor said...

It's all part of the typical WaPo/Nooyawk hatch job. Stage One, belittle the target for some utterly inconsequential characteristic or sartorial choice, like facial hair, then attack again when the target adopts a different personal style.

Should J.D. Vance ever tire of the whiskers, look for a WaPo item over Simple Simon's byline titled Humiliated Author Discretely Shaves Controversial Beard Hoping the We Won't Notice.

Wilbur said...

Wilbur's view is that beards are similar to the shaven-head look: they are flattering to 1% of men, but 100% of men who have it think it looks great on them. Like Olive Oyl, I like a clean-shaven man.

I have abandoned any beard-growing attempts throughout my life. I end up looking like Ming the Merciless.

It seems the Left now wants to turn Vance into Lafe Crick.

Quaestor said...

The WaPo beard obsession is more than usually preserve seeing as none of its writers have bothered to comment on the prevalence of beards among the trust fund hipsters of Williamsburg who parade around in Pendleton shirts and suspenders like a tribe of indolent lumberjacks.

Christopher B said...

I've had a beard pretty much continuously starting when I skipped shaving for a few days after the birth of my son in 1987. Never even had a mustache before that but discovered I liked it. It might be because I was a bit counter-cyclical to fashion but I think it made me look older back in the 1990s but younger now. About two weeks growth is as much as I can stand, however. I've never gone for the ZZ Top/Duck Dynasty/mountain man look.

Yancey Ward said...

I had a full beard from my senior year in high school until a few weeks before I started interviewing for jobs as post doctoral student- a total of 11 years. However, once I got rid of it, I was glad I had and never grew it out again.

Yancey Ward said...

I had the long hair, too, for almost the same period of time- full Duck Dynasty hillbilly look.

walter said...

Too bad things didn;t work out between Cory and Rosario.

Narr said...
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Narr said...
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Narr said...

My moustache has been here since 1971, when I started regrowing it the day after Old Man Hewlitt the principal had ordered me to shave it. It was only weeks before graduation anyway, and we had long hair already, so the ban on facefuzz was just arbitrary.

My beards wax and wane. They aren't that thick, but even so I find them hot when I let them grow, and since I hate shaving too I tend to clip it short every few days and shave once a week. I've cultivated a combo horseshoe and soul patch that leaves my chin dimple visible.
(That's a legacy from my mother's father, who died 20 years before I was born; that and a bookish bent.)

Got plenty on top, so no compensating there.

As for JD Vance, he's clearly over the target and the sitztinklers are freaking out.

Is this thing working? Tap tap

Rabel said...

Word search of the very long article showed no use of "Evan McMullin."

Drago said...

Rabel: "Word search of the very long article showed no use of "Evan McMullin."'

Have you tried "Egg McMuffin"?

Bunkypotatohead said...

Talking to a reporter is like talking to th fbi. You're better off if you just don't do it.

roesch/voltaire said...

Read his book, worked in Appalachia but never thought much of Jd Vance with or without the bread. I am glad his drive pulled into Yale etc, but for writing and understanding there are more insightfull writings.

Drago said...

roesch/voltaire: "Read his book, worked in Appalachia but never thought much of Jd Vance with or without the bread. I am glad his drive pulled into Yale etc, but for writing and understanding there are more insightfull writings."

Well, don't leave us in suspense.....