November 8, 2021

"We unearthed this hunk of tuber, and we thought to ourselves, ‘what is this? Was it some sort of a strange fungal growth?'"

"...recalled Colin Craig-Brown, 62.... 'It looks like a big tumor. A great big bumpy gross looking thing.' Eager to identify the strange growth, Colin bravely executed a taste test... After swirling the bite around in his mouth, he turned to his wife and confidently said: 'Honey, it’s a bloody potato!'... They named the potato Dug — 'because we dug him up. Plain and simple,' said Colin, adding that many media outlets have misspelled the spud’s name, calling it 'Doug' instead. The couple also made the potato its own small transport cart.... Since eating Dug would be 'sacrilege,' he continued, the grand plan is to eventually turn the potato into alcohol. 'We’ll have a wake for him, and I’ll get all my friends around, and we’ll toast him off with his own vodka'...."

17 comments:

Temujin said...

You're on a roll today. :)

Quaestor said...

Big is interesting, but a potato that doesn't resemble Gerald R. Ford is extraordinary.

John henry said...

An ubertuber?

John LGBTQBNY Henry

Lurker21 said...

"Dug" is fine, but I would have called it "Spud."

Colin Craig-Brown, 62

It would not surprise me if Craig Brown had cloned himself and was raising a mini-me named Colin, but it probably didn't happen 62 years ago.

Lurker21 said...

My first guess would have been that it was an alien pod that was going to assume my appearance and take over my identity ... but go ahead ... eat it anyway ...

rehajm said...

Dug is not bad. There was Bud the Spud by Stompin’ Tom Connors (I also appreciate a man with an apostrophized verb in his name)

…speaking of dug up, this triggered a memory of some shit commercial from the 70s my mind thought worthy of archiving in my brain…

So did the internet. It was for Heinz Homestyle Gravy

Wince said...

From the angle shown it looks like a doubled-up fetus.

Joe Smith said...

The world needs more stories like this...

Joe Smith said...

'You're on a roll today. :)'

A Kaiser roll...

rehajm said...

My father in law from Idaho and was Tater the Navy. Later he was Bud. No mention of Spud.

tcrosse said...

There are plenty of big tubers on the Apple River.

Howard said...

Blogger Quaestor said...

Big is interesting, but a potato that doesn't resemble Gerald R. Ford is extraordinary.


It's true. You owe me a keyboard

Narayanan said...

hard to believe it was not attached to any growth above ground or this couple could not tell plants from weeds?
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potato farmers please weigh in.

wishing for Meade to unearth some giant roots-a-bagas

john burger said...

"They named the potato Dug — 'because we dug him up. Plain and simple,' said Colin."

That is wonderful.

jvb

Narayanan said...

Howard said...
Blogger Quaestor said...

Big is interesting, but a potato that doesn't resemble Gerald R. Ford is extraordinary.

It's true. You owe me a keyboard
---------
shouldn't that be Dan Quayle

Luther Wu said...

Obviously too small to be a Texas potato. Everything's big in Texas, don't you know.

Bunkypotatohead said...

Grampa!!!