"... and ended up three miles away from where she first began, surviving on a can of ginger ale she discovered unopened along the way.
Police are trying to determine if the woman was actually underground for three weeks. They say the health officials they have consulted believe it is more likely the woman was only in the sewer for two or three days. 'We don’t feel that there was any crime committed,' Ted White, a police spokesperson, said. 'But the biggest question is, is her story credible? Was she actually down there the whole time?'"
March 26, 2021
"The woman... told officials she was swimming in a canal when she noticed a door and entered it. She said she eventually became lost..."
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52 comments:
Yeah, no.
Someone missed the story about the boy in the well.
-XC
Methamphetamine is a hell of drug. Ditches become canals and sewers the magical gateway to Narnia.
The woman later told officials she was swimming in a canal when she noticed a door and entered it.
Not surprising. She broke the cardinal rule of spelunking: Never go by yourself.
Didn't you used to have a "naked" tag?
"She broke the cardinal rule of spelunking: Never go by yourself."
If she took someone with her, they'd have had to share that can of ginger ale.
Thought it said surviving 'in' a can of ginger ale which I thought was confounding.
Looking for Florida Man.
Remember that story about two women rescued drifting in sailboat hundreds of miles from land for 5 months and how they were attacked by sharks?
Yeah, that wasn't all it seemed either.
I'd have said windowpane.
Wouldn't have been particularly surprised if that news item included a naked, dazed and confused "President Biden" trapped with her and sharing that tasty beverage.
In the article, they refer to a driver "seeing the women", in reference to seeing this single woman. I see this more and more lately (or perhaps just notice it). I the word "woman" not the singular form, and "women" plural?
I know, it's the Grauniad and all that, but is this the new accepted form?
Was she after a white rabbit?
She was saved by some lukewarm ginger ale
She ate bugs cuz she forgot her damn lunch pail
But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas
But it's all right, she’s in the Enquirer and
it's a gas, gas, gas
Even a slightly built woman would need to have ingested somewhere between 20-30,000 calories to maintain her weight for 3 weeks; she should have lost a lot of weight if she was really underground all that time. I can see the skepticism of the medical folks who treated her
The rule of 4s (how I heard it anyway) is you can live 4 minutes without air, 4 hours without heat, 4 days without water, 4 weeks without food. Maybe she had all the water she wanted...
Who swims in canals?
Who, when swimming in a canal, sees a door, opens it and goes inside?
Police are trying to determine if the woman was actually underground for three weeks. They say the health officials they have consulted believe it is more likely the woman was only in the sewer for two or three days.
Lost time.
Aliens?
You can live in the sewer for years. Ask Chuck.
I see what Ann is doing here. Setting up a competing meme to Instapundit's Florida Man Friday. Starting with a naked Florida Woman. Well played.
I think the Bermuda Triangle overlaps part of Florida.
Only explanation.
That and drugs.
Somthin' fishy about this story. Naked, in a sewer, a can of ginger ale? I'm throwin' the BS flag on this one.
She should have just gone to 3Gs.
3 Gs Deli, Delray
No one and I mean no one with two working brain cells goes swimming in a Florida canal. You run the risk of becoming Polk Salad Annie's Grandma. As for the rest of her story drugs are without a doubt involved and she could not have survived that long. Hell even opening the door sounds too weird to be true. Eventually this will come out as a drug & alcohol bender with someone other than her boyfriend and this ending somehow in her getting into the sewer.
My wife and I lived in Ft. Lauderdale for 5 years, and the canals along some roads were always kind of scary. But I can't imagine any (sane) person jumping into a canal for a swim -- and then ENTERING A DOOR! As our President might say: Come on Man!
Mentally ill people are so entertaining, perhaps they should be put on display again and the public charged an admission which would help pay for their care.
3 weeks without food and you're emaciated
3 weeks without water beyond a can of ginger ale? You're dead from dehydration.
If her story is true, then magic occurred
You can enter a storm drain from a canal via a door? Has anyone checked the maps of storm drains that the municipal water department maintains?
And cubanbob is right; there's gators in those canals.
Mentally ill people are so entertaining, perhaps they should be put on display again and the public charged an admission which would help pay for their care.
Well, for our entertainment, there was a press conference by one yesterday...
Curiosity almost aborted the pussyhat.
If her story is true, then magic occurred
Give The Guardian some credit, it's a human interest story. A departure from their traditional fare of braying fire and limestone. That said, offsets for sale. Be socially responsible and buy your offsets, NOW.
"And cubanbob is right; there's gators in those canals."
Cottonmouths too.
We looked in Delray before we bought on the west coast. Charming town with a definite party vibe.
'We don’t feel that there was any crime committed,'
Law by feeling. Meanwhile, the LAW is that if she did not own what was behind the door or have authorization from the owner to enter, she was trespassing.
Just ordered a case of Canada Dry.For emergencies.
How'd they come up with that name anyway?
Green Door?
For Christ sake-
We don't feel a crime was committed?
Yet, the BIGGEST question is...did she lie to us, committing a felony for lying to law enforcement, as to how long she said she was there?
Hmm...we may have to send this to the D.A., who may have to send it to a grand jury--
To justify if our feelings were misplaced.
"Somthin' fishy about this story. Naked, in a sewer, a can of ginger ale?"
I'll have what she's having...
It's pretty well established that women don't lie. Probably something to do with the second X chromosome.
"It's pretty well established that women don't lie.
Study funded by women, then?
Moon said...
Just ordered a case of Canada Dry.For emergencies.
How'd they come up with that name anyway?
Back in the prohibition, most eye whiskey came from Canada... Canada wet
Jean Paul Marat caught a debilitating skin disease in the Paris sewers hiding from the gendarmes after a political rally was broken up. But that did not kill him, no it took Charlotte Corday to do that.
It's never explained why she was naked.
They fear Madame X is a bit impaired, mentally speaking, like our beloved Resident.
Well, duh...
I spent several years down there working at IBM, Boca Raton. I enjoyed Delray Beach from time to time, but the canals are nothing to fuck with.
People think of the Everglades as a swamp, but it's really a river -- a river about a hundred miles wide and a foot deep. It flows out of Lake Okeechobee mostly southeast and into the Atlantic between Key Biscayne on the south and about Juno Beach to the north. Some of the outflow turns southwest and empties into the Gulf between Naples and Cape Sable.
More than a century ago the Corps of Engineers began creating canals to direct the flow and create permanently dry land. They are wide, deep, and fast-flowing. I watched a quad scull try to row upstream on Cypress Creek Canal. Working full out they managed a walking pace.
How long was Jean Valjean in the sewers of Paris (in the book, not the movie)?
THEOLDMAN
It's pretty well established that women don't lie. Probably something to do with the second X chromosome.
Men are only partially checked by why... I mean, Y chromosome. Women: that's why.
Sewers are dark and moist. Ideal for growing mushrooms.
I'm Not Sure/n.n: It's also pretty well established that some people can't grasp sarcasm.
"People think of the Everglades as a swamp, but it's really a river..."
I took my daughters on a guided airboat tour the first time they visited me. The captain seemed very knowledgable and by his appearance and age, had been out on the everglades for 40 years. He had two environmental concerns, the first was invasive species, especially large pythons, and second, the change in the salinity profile of the region caused by my very namesake. The road constricted the natural flow of fresh water, resulting in a mostly salt water environment south of the road. He told us that if we wanted to see alligators, we needed to take a tour on the north side of Rt41, as they prefer fresh water.
He had two environmental concerns, the first was invasive species, especially large pythons...
Another is the paper bark tea tree (Melaleuca quinquenervia), which is messing with the wildlife and the hydrology of the Glades. I don't know whether this is true, but a Seminole guide told me about a Roaring Twenties ultra-rich idiot who hired some barnstormers pilots to fly over the Everglades spreading tea tree seeds. Apparently, the fellow had given himself the mission to dry up South Florida.
Sounds crazy to me, and for that reason, I'm inclined to believe it.
This sounds like a scene from a horrible book that I had to persevere to complete because I had committed to it, called The Starless Sea. There were always doors appearing, and if you went through one, you end up in an underground world, and had a good chance of being lost in space and time, only able to escape by coming out somewhere else with no idea what year it was. So if you are thinking of using this as an idea for a novel, it’s been done and the novel was lousy, so you might want to read Starless Sea as a warning on how not to write yours.
The above review of Starless Sea was not nearly as snarky as I would like, because it doesn’t convey the novel’s awful tediousness, the writer’s abdication of any responsibility to the reader, her feeble powers of observation, oh, I could go on. BTW lady, when your half man, half owl, owl king flies by, you wouldn’t hear wingbeats! Owls are silent fliers, dammit! Wouldn’t it have been cooler to have this giant bird/man hybrid fly by without the sound of wingbeats? And more grounded in reality!
Not that I am bitter about the time lost reading that book, time I will never get back, oh no...
On other thing, if you are going to write about Vermont in winter in a college town, and it’s going to be more than one quick scene, why not actually visit, say Middlebury, in winter and take a couple notes about what you see around you and use those, instead of using your feeble imagination. You wrote a best-seller, Night Circus, NYC is not far away. You could have done it. Or maybe that is your feeble powers of observation coming into play again.
Tim thanks for the review. This Erin Morgenstern sounds like a real jerk.
NPR likes her well enough, and she has written a best seller, and I am just an anonymous web commenter, but I did feel ripped off, And I always liked Ursula Le Guin, who also writes fantasy.
Ok.. down there 3 weeks... I am sure the ginger ale bottle was consumed in a day or so... so what did she drink? It takes about a week for parasites to start hurting you.. and I suspect there are lots of 'em in the sewer...
So, how did she survive 3 weeks? Answer.. I doubt she would have.
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