January 2, 2021

"This year, women around the country have staked out each other’s homes in the name of a quest that gained popularity during the pandemic: raising spirits by giving spirits, anonymously."

"Booze fairies, as they’re called, bring together the childhood thrill of ding-dong ditch with a side of Secret Santa and a dash of adult beverages. Sometimes, they wear wings and a tutu.... Booze fairies operate on a 'pay it forward' philosophy. Participants share their addresses (and alcohol preferences) with volunteer group leaders, who then assign them to various other fairies. Each gift basket comes with a new address to deliver to, and thus a fairy is born.... 'It’s hard to make friends. I’m usually shy... This makes me feel useful. It’s amazing how a little surprise can make you feel excited about what’s next.'"


1. No comments section over there, so nobody to naysay about alcohol. 

2. What's the NYT revenue from alcohol ads?

3. That "'pay it forward' philosophy" is the "philosophy" of chain letters and pyramid schemes.

4. I don't remember seeing the phrase "ding-dong ditch" before. It's explained in the Wikipedia article "Knock, Knock, Ginger":
Knock, knock, ginger (also known as knock down ginger, ding dong ditch, chap door run, chappies, knock knock, zoom zoom and numerous variants) is a prank or game dating back to 19th-century England.... It involves knocking on the front door (or ringing the doorbell) of a victim, then running away before the door can be answered.... 
Victims of this prank are not likely to call the police, but if they decide to, the prankster can face charges of trespassing and disturbing the peace.... In Scotland, although the Land Reform (Scotland) Act 2003 establishes universal access rights, the so-called "right to roam" is only permitted where the privacy of others is respected....

5. I found the NYT article via Metafilter, where somebody says, "Nothing sets my teeth on edge like the faux-cutesy phrase 'adult beverage.'" I hear it more as faux-sophistication. But there are plenty of grossly cute locutions for alcohol. I think! For some reason the only one I can think of right now is something that seems to come from the 1950s: "drinky-poo" (or "drinky-winky").

136 comments:

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Remember a few years ago when "women" were dressing up like toddlers and hiring photographers to take 'cake smash' pictures of their 30th or 40th birthdays with them sitting straddle legged around bakery cakes and pretending to guzzle bottles of champagne? I guess this is the new version of that.

Sometimes I loathe my sex.


Ken B said...

I only ever hear “adult beverage” used archly by stand up comics.

Big Mike said...

I imagine doorbell cameras have taken a lot of the fun out of “ding dong ditch.”

Howard said...

Yeah it really pisses me off when people have fun doing things that I don't want to do... how dare they.

Ann Althouse said...

Rush Limbaugh tended to say "adult beverage."

Howard said...

I never actually seen it done only heard stories about it but when I was a kid there was a variant on ding dong ditch where you would light a bag of dog s*** on fire and then the person would open the door see the fire and stomp it out and get dog s*** all over his foot. Probably just a childhood suburban legend wet dream

Old and slow said...

It wasn't called "ding dong ditch" in my childhood days... That's for sure.

It was "N.... Knock" and no mistake about it.

Greg Hlatky said...

Silly TimesWomen and their antics are so cute.

gspencer said...

Dino - handsome, funny, enjoyed life. And people paid him money for all of that.

Yet in the end he died of heartache. The death of his son took all the starch outta him.

Greg Hlatky said...

The Lives of Biden Voters.

Fernandinande said...

That "'pay it forward' philosophy" is the "philosophy" of chain letters and pyramid schemes.

No it's not.

Temujin said...

But I repeat myself: Whatever happened to New York and New Yorkers?

Hey...at least their Governor got an Emmy for his performance.

Wince said...

For some reason the only one I can think of right now is something that seems to come from the 1950s: "drinky-poo" (or "drinky-winky").

"He's crazy, he's high, he's floating on Sneaky Pete wine."

“Sneaky Pete” means cheap wine, and other amazing 1950s gang slang
https://www.vox.com/2015/3/25/8284949/1950s-gang-slang

tcrosse said...

Booze Fairy, or Giulietta of the Spirits.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

The first time I heard “adult beverage” it was on Rush’s radio show.

Rob said...

Booze fairies? Nope, not going to take the bait, no matter how much I’m tempted to mention Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper on New Year’s Eve.

stlcdr said...

They can do what they like, but don’t try and make it a ‘thing’ that people should be, or can be, doing to resolve their own personal issues.

Indeed, while I like to drink, I would never encourage someone who may not like to partake to drink, even if it is a good natured way. This is appears to be another irresponsible 18 year old drinking game.

Rory said...

"Adult beverage" is just descriptive, because alcohol is denied to minors. The silly euphemism is "adult language," which usually indicates an immature form of expression.

Kate said...

Booze fairy? Hahahaha! That's so repugnant it's gone around the bend and almost landed on cute.

Lloyd W. Robertson said...

Dean Martin: I don't drink any more. I freeze the stuff and eat it as a popsicle.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

These people in the NYT are just delusional.

Women "around the country"?... nope.

Trying to make this totalitarian, dictatorial lockdown of the country and the abrogation of freedom into a cute fun thing? NOPE

Delusional and more...dangerous.

Roger Sweeny said...

Watching old movies on Turner Classic Movies, it is astounding how quickly drinking went from illegal to something everybody does. And how often drinking heavily was presented as cute or sophisticated. Perhaps I am over-reacting to watching all six William Powell/Myrna Loy Thin Man movies.

AlbertAnonymous said...

Weird, we always called it ding dong ditch. Definitely in Nor Cal, but I thought we Called it that in NJ too. Wonder if it’s a geographic thing? Or generational?

Wince said...

Love on the Rocks
Ain't no surprise
Just pour me a drink
And I'll tell you some lies

Jupiter said...

"Neighbors have been donning wings and tutus to deliver adult beverages and other goodies."

All the news that's fit to print, right?

Greg Hlatky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jupiter said...

Just one minute, though. What culture is wings and tutus?

Greg Hlatky said...

His stage persona aside, Martin was a very moderate drinker.

Eleanor said...

Pay It Forward is a wonderful sentiment. Suppose I'm in need, and someone steps up to help me. Later, I find myself in a position to return the favor, but the person who helped me doesn't need it so I find someone who does, and in doing so I pay my "debt". Ponzi schemes and chain letters are all started and continued by people who expect to get a return on their investment. When things are "paid forward", the person doing the nice thing gets nothing and expects nothing in return.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Did NYT hire the Sex and the City writers to write that?

AlbertAnonymous said...

And “pool hopping” was a NorCal summertime game where you sneak into someone’s back yard, jump into the pool, swim to the other side, jump out and run away. They freak, then realize it’s harmless...

Fun for dumb kids...

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Rich progressive wimin might do this - but if I had to wager - NYT made it all up.

People are hurting financially. Booze or food? Booze or rent money?

Yay Chi-Com Democrat virus!

Jokah Macpherson said...

Is this something just women are doing? If so, what does that say about sex differences in personality?

rhhardin said...

Women around the country are mostly crazy. It's just that it doesn't hurt anything much if it stays local in its effects.

rhhardin said...

No need to fairify in person. You can order an Amazon gift of booze to be sent, assuming they sell booze. If not, send alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

Eric said...

The NYT focusses its marketing efforts at an increasingly insipid target audience. This is another thing that adult supervision could address.

AlbertAnonymous said...

I always heard the instructions for women as “show up naked, bring food”

But I think “show up naked, bring booze, works too”

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

BidenFamilyTaxPayerFundedCrackPipe said...

Rich progressive wimin might do this - but if I had to wager - NYT made it all up.

It's the NYT, they don't understand that the rest of the country isn't Manhattan.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

remember when booze was prohibited

...and church was encouraged?

RBE said...

All this stuff written about "what women do" seems like high school. My family has dropped off presents anonymously on Christmas night for some families in need. It was fun and nobody ever knew and that's how we wanted it. No expectations in any way.

Lurker21 said...

Your next big story, Althouse:

Man horrifies Twitter with recipe for a hand-shaped M&M cookie stuffed with Greek SALAD - which he spent a week making because he 'saw it in a dream'
Twitter user @thatfrood from Madison, Wisconsin said he had a dream about a dish called 'King’s Hand'
It's a 'hollow hand made of M&M cookie, filled with Greek salad'
He couldn't stop thinking about it, so he bought a silicone mold for his hand, baked the cookie inside it, and stuffed it with tomatoes, cucumbers, and onion
Other Twitter users are calling the dish 'cursed' and a 'nightmare'
@thatfrood even broke down the recipe for anyone who wanted to try it at home

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

RBE said...

All this stuff written about "what women do" seems like high school. My family has dropped off presents anonymously on Christmas night for some families in need. It was fun and nobody ever knew and that's how we wanted it. No expectations in any way.

For it to be a true act of charity there should be no possibility of self aggrandizement. Ain't no way the NYT readership is signing up for something like that!

Kudos to you and your family.

Joe Smith said...

Women sure do like to drink a lot, but seem to need excuses for it.

Birches said...

This story wouldn't exist in the NYT without Instagram.

I'm not sure the practice would exist at all without Instagram.

Basically what Pants said.

Ken B said...

No Howard. Fun constructs white supremacy. Do better.

Big Mike said...

@RBE, even better than buying toys for the Toys for Tots boxes. My hat is off to you and your family.

rhhardin said...

Nobody's exposing the wind chill temperature hoax. TV news weather report clickbait against ho-hum "another winter" weather.

The important variable is the actual temperature.

Mark said...

Was Ding Dong Ditch in Madison in the 70s.

Like prank phone calls, our modern world has lost the anonymity for these.

And Eleanor has it right re Pay It Forward ... it is supposed to be done anonymously and with no expectation of return or recognition. If it has those expectations, then it is something else.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

My biggest fear driving Lyft: People's strong alcohol hand sanitizer setting off my ignition alcohol detector. Luckily, because of the pandemic, people have to sit in the back, otherwise, I strongly believe, someone sitting up the front seat would have set it off already. 3 more months to go, before I'm monitor free.

Mary Beth said...

If it's an online group where new people are welcomed, that seems like a perfect way for minors to get free alcohol delivered. How hard would it be to create a fake profile and join? It might only work once, if you get booted when you don't "pay it forward", but a group of friends could get several deliveries that way.

NCMoss said...

It's helpful that the NYT offers creative ways to get smashed; this is apparently how you deal with the govt. usurping your rights.

Narr said...

No, Pants, I don't remember that! (I count myself lucky.)

I pretty much missed, and dismissed, the wine craze, and much else besides.

"Adult beverages" reminds of "mature audiences." Booze can be broken down into three classes of descending quality--

Rotgut
Paint remover
The cheap stuff

Narr
And who needs an excuse to wear a tutu, anyway?

D.D. Driver said...

I also hate "adult beverage." It garners cringes from me.

mezzrow said...

As I read this, I imagine myself hearing these words read by Foster Brooks in his best 1970's "drunk on the dais" voice. It adds a certain something. Try it.

robother said...

Stinko Bell. My Fairy Sodmother. And what's this, a sex toy thrown in by naughty Phuck!

tim maguire said...

We had a racist name for it that we had no idea the racial connotations of. If tik tok were around back then, we would all have destroyed our futures without any notion of what we were up to.

As for the booze fairy, given that it's an organized club, I don't see how it's any kind of surprise when the booze shows up. Unless I'm one of the first ones on the list, I'm more likely to be annoyed when it doesn't.

tim maguire said...

Old and slow said...
It wasn't called "ding dong ditch" in my childhood days... That's for sure.

It was "N.... Knock" and no mistake about it.


That's the one!

loudogblog said...

I always thought that it was weird that they cast Dean Martin, who had a reputation for heavy drinking, as the pilot in the original Airport movie. There's a photo out there showing his car crashed up against a tree and his custom license plate says, "DRUNKY."

Tina Trent said...

My handyman brings me tomato moonshine in mason jars. Very low octane stuff. Aged five years, it’s amazing. Like that artichoke aperitif. He does cucumber and muscadine too. Even the Baptists do muscadine. We live on opposite sides of Dawsonville, where the city hall building has a museum of NASCAR and moonshine. We also have people we barely know drop off deer meat when they’ve had a few kills. And the girl up the road leaves pears on our porch. The creeks are lined with blackberries and elderberries. The goats next door munch poison oak and recycled Christmas trees.

OTOH, one of our heelers has found the field where the hunters skin and gut their catch. He buries them in rotting tree stumps, checks them obsessively, and months later comes out with a ripened spine or pelt when the fancy strikes him. Then he rolls in it. He mows through the low-hanging blackberries and catches all the baby rabbits and turtles each spring. A gourmand.

Nobody wears a tutu for any of these activities. You couldn’t pay me to live in any city. The Times article makes me think of that depressing Cheever short story, The Swimmer.

effinayright said...

Howard said...
I never actually seen it done only heard stories about it but when I was a kid there was a variant on ding dong ditch where you would light a bag of dog s*** on fire and then the person would open the door see the fire and stomp it out and get dog s*** all over his foot. Probably just a childhood suburban legend wet dream
**********************

My late father told me he used to do that with his buddies in Pittsburgh when he was a kid in the early 1930's. Back then you could still see horse-drawn milk wagons, which offered fuel for their fire, so to speak.

effinayright said...

Narr saaid:

" Booze can be broken down into three classes of descending quality--

Rotgut
Paint remover
The cheap stuff
****************************

Let's not forget the term Brits and Aussies use:

Plonk

Joe Smith said...

Per Dean Martin's daughter to an 'L.A. Times' columnist:

'"When he started to redo his nightclub act, he started at the Sands Hotel and had some writers helping him," she said. "It was like Jack Benny who had the violin thing and made fun about being cheap. Dad was so handsome, so debonair. They just thought, 'We'll put a drink in his hand and a cigarette.' Every man wanted to be him, and every woman wanted to be with him."'

'The truth of the matter, she said, was her father was swigging apple juice and not liquor when he performed. "He would be home for dinner every night," Martin said. "He would come home, and he and mom would have their one cocktail at the bar. He was kind. He was so different from what everybody thought he was. There was no one who could do Dean Martin better than Dean Martin."'

mccullough said...

Bring back the term High Ball.

Joe Smith said...

'Doorbell ditch' in N. CA in the '60 and '70s.

Which is funny, because I don't remember anyone actually having a doorbell...

YoungHegelian said...

Doesn't Dante have a special level of Hell for booze fairies?

Joe Smith said...

"Bring back the term High Ball."

Highballs (Hi-bo-ru) are a very common drink in Japan...almost as common as beer (which is everywhere).

https://www.themanual.com/food-and-drink/understanding-japanese-highball/

Narr said...

We knew of the practice (flaming bag of dogshit) and did it once, as I recall, but I don't recall a term for it beyond 'ringing the doodrbell and running away.' Not a very creative bunch, I guess.

I also don't remember why the particular victim was chosen by my friends, but mine not to reason why!

Narr
Lobbing water-balloons at passing cars after dark was more our style

Tina Trent said...

Cookie Greek salad hand is the stuff of nightmares.

Fernandinande said...

"That "'pay it forward' philosophy" is the "philosophy" of chain letters and pyramid schemes."

No it's not.


Oops, nevermind, I see you were referring to what the nyt incorrectly called "'pay it forward' philosophy", not any actual "pay it forward" philosophy.

John henry said...

My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whiskey. All right, here is how I feel about whiskey:

If when you say whiskey you mean the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster, that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, and despair, and shame and helplessness, and hopelessness, then certainly I am against it.

But, if when you say whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips, and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman's step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy, and his happiness, and to forget, if only for a little while, life's great tragedies, and heartaches, and sorrows; if you mean that drink, the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged and infirm; to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.

This is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise.


Noah S. "Soggy" Sweat, Jr. Missisipi legislator

I've read the speech many times, never realized I could listen to a recording of Soggy delivering it.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ca/Whiskey.ogg

John Henry

gbarto said...

When you're too stupid to do Ding-Dong-Ditch:
Beavis and Butthead: Ding-Dong-Ditch

Points to a lot of problems with the booze fairy bit too, though: What if the person isn't home? What if they catch you leaving the booze... in your tutu and wings?

This sounds like some inside joke between a few friends that an NYT writer turned into a human interest story when they didn't have anything else to submit.

John henry said...

Based on yesterday's post on Midnight Diner and having seen a couple other mentions of it in recent days, I figured I would take a look.

I don't see the fuss. I only got about halfway through before I went back to my 20 part BBC epic of War and Peace. The one with Anthony Hopkins, not the more recent one.

I almost didn't watch it at all. When it was loading, I got a WARNING!!! "Contains nudity and smoking"

I can deal with nudity without being traumatized. But smoking!?!?!? No way am I going to watch something with smoking in it.

Seriously, I can understand the nudity warning. A bit silly but I can understand it. But a smoking warning?

I am surprised I have not seen any warnings about drinking. Much more dangerous.

I am sure that is next.

And after that, a "WARNING! : This video portrays graphic images of people without face diapers. Viewer discretion advised.

John Henry

effinayright said...

Narr:
Lobbing water-balloons at passing cars after dark was more our style
******************
We liked lining up in single file on both sides of a narrow street at dusk, when the visibility started to fall but before drivers put their lights on.

When a car approached, we would pretend to be having a tug-of war with an invisible rope stretched across the street at eye level.

When the driver slowed down we would laugh and run like hell.

wildswan said...

I liked Midnight Diner. No expectations, nothing sending the blood to my head. Just stories. The recipes are interesting, too, since I'm gluten-challenged. I already have a wood planer and so now when I find bonito in hard slabs in a US store I'm good to go after I get the planer on a little box. Or else I might try slicing a regular smoked fish with a cheese slicer. I liked the little octopus hotdogs, too.

Churchy LaFemme: said...

Stinko Bell. My Fairy Sodmother.

Drinkerbelle

Earnest Prole said...

If it’s really news to Althouse that upper-middle-class women drink like sailors, that New York Times subscription is worth every penny.

Churchy LaFemme: said...

As I recall Sticks McGhee eulogized the benefits of Sneaky Pete as in

"Sneaky Pete
Gives you two left feet!"

I'm not where I can play music right now, but I believe that was in Six To Eight.

navillus said...

Most of the families where I grew up were from the South, so we learned the prank as "N-word Knocking." Scandalous.
To 'jury-rig' something was termed "N-word-rig" in a similar fashion. To this day, I have to mentally hesitate a half-second before I say 'jury-rig' to ensure the right word comes out, such is the power of childhood imprinting.

This article is a classic in the NYT genre of praising something done by women that the NYT would condemn if men did it.
NYT headline- "Dudes are dropping off 30-packs of beer at other dudes' doors- many are saying this could lead to domestic violence, obesity, & alcoholism"

Joe Smith said...

"Seriously, I can understand the nudity warning."

One of the cable networks ran a marathon of 'Yellowstone' a couple of weeks ago so I set up my DVR to record then all...three seasons so far I think.

It is normally on a streaming network, but we have to put up with commercials (which I zap through).

The screen flashes the 'Mature Audiences, Nudity' warning of course.

So we get to a scene where the hot-in-a-slutty-way daughter strips off her clothes to take a bath outside in a cattle trough (don't know why) and we get a full-on look at a fairly nice-looking ass (an even better look as she walks back to the house).

But when it come to her tits? No sir, we're going to blur those out.

Seriously? I call false advertising!

Lucien said...

Pikers! Where I live the cat boxes are cleaned by Shit Pixies, Kitchen Gnomes do the dishes, and my bride gets her coffee from the Giant Coffee Rat of Sumatra, and her martinis from the Gin Wallah. (Then there are the Garçons du Vin).

n.n said...

Slut walk. Booze binge. Progress.

Curious George said...

We just called it "Ring the Doorbell and Run." If I remember correctly the advanced version included lighting a paper bag with dog shit in it on fire so the people would stomp on it. I don't remember ever actually doing that though.

sterlingblue said...

All these women drinking are going to result in thousands, if not millions, of families destroyed. I have experience with this. It's really sad.

Good for you, Althouse, for recognizing this for what it is.

cf said...

my friend K2 made every christmas present she gave away, I do believe, based on what I got and witnessed from others.

stunning dishcloth worthy of a museum wall of delight, inventive expression of the classic grandma quickie, and then! joyous rework onto the most humble of muslin tea towel into a classic i will be holding the rest of my life. I don't know how it is i have her as a beloved, i don't really understand friendship so well.

anyway, the reason I write it is that one thing she made for me was a homemade brew of Rock n Rye, which our house had on hand for Christmas tradition ever since our NYC friends baptized us in the catechism. she read a recipe and wahoo!

she's part of my wine-and-whine, hmm.

Women and drinking. it's not noon and i am taking a swig of K2's brew, it has a quick shelf date, and I don't want to say I had to throw any out! but I also need to take my vitamins right now, and had a little crisis of conscience, does taking vitamins get improved with pure grain whiskey as opposed to water, or do they work less well?

will test and see, Nyt figures its fine, right? all fine now, ladies.

Ken B said...

Prole makes a good point. Upper classes drink a lot more than lower. I saw figures recently, I forget them but it was really quite striking.

iowan2 said...

Rush Limbaugh tended to say "adult beverage."

I was going to say it must be a midwest thing. But Cape Guirado, while in Missouri, southern Missouri might not be the "midwest' culture.
Adult beverage was common growing up. Dropping by for a highball was a thing. If you had a highball that was private home verbiage. Stopping for a short one, implied a bar setting. Nip and toddy were terms I remember also.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

cf said...

...inventive expression of the classic grandma quickie...

Whatever you're into, dude. We don't judge.

cf said...

I love Althouse clips of music etc. and this one is fine, but makes me wonder/hunger for a slurring drunk-on-her-tushy Streisand instead, for instance, if such a thing is available.

A dame, in other words, a famous ruling-class NYT-approved Dame.

There's nothing worse than a drunk dame.

(ooh say let's see our soon-to-be VP Ho drunk & singing, ooh yeah, Go!)

ALP said...

Sounds like a continuation of college binge drinking. I hate those fucking articles about rape/sexual harassment on campuses. 99% of the time drinking is involved - but NOBODY wants to say a damn thing like "maybe if you students refrained from getting falling down drunk all the time there would be less inadvertant penis insertions into non-consenting, drunk women."

ALP said...

What Pants said - I am ashamed of my gender way too often.

NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...

The NYT is an apologist for female alcoholism. They know their demographic.

Switch the sexes and you see the problem.

Narr said...

And it's pronounced "sweet," not "swet."

Narr
Went to school with some

Curious George said...

My grandma used to yell out to my dad "Georgie, make me a highball!"

cf said...

haha, oh, dear, Ignorance is Bliss, i see how my words fail me.

you made me laugh out loud, my favorite involuntary reflex.

here's a pic of the gift I got, what I meant was that the design is based on the classic knitting pattern that is the quickest and easiest of all to do: "grandma's dishcloth". My friend made it exceptional, tied in varieties of yarn in her favorite mermaid underwater colors. "Sew blessed".


https://twitter.com/Ertist/status/1345467759228981249?s=20

Sprezzatura said...

“"That "'pay it forward' philosophy" is the "philosophy" of chain letters and pyramid schemes."

No it's not.

Oops, nevermind, I see you were referring to what the nyt incorrectly called "'pay it forward' philosophy", not any actual "pay it forward" philosophy.”

Sheesh, you had it right the first time.

How can you old people not know what a pyramid scheme is? If you call it “Ponzi” will the light bulb turn on upstairs?

FullMoon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FullMoon said...

Doorbell in our tract home stopped working. All the same, so me and my brother swapped it with the neighbors while all parents at work. Only took a screwdriver and a couple of minutes.
Several days later, Dad, sss, the doorbell is glowing, must be an electrical short.

As dad was not one to spare the whip and spoil the child, got my adrenaline flowing pretty good.

Swapped 'em back the next day. Guess the neighbor paid a couple of bucks extra for the fancy glow in the dark doorbell.

And, "doorbell ditch" is official, has a nice ring to it.

Sprezzatura said...

“Per Dean Martin's daughter to an 'L.A. Times' columnist:”

BTW, who else here read this and though of the movie called “Drive Me Crazy?” He wasn’t really a drunk? Now I need to question the wisdom of that masterpiece.

“ Your moms gonna see straight through that Dean Martin impression. I can sneak you through the back....”


Don’t also tell me Sean Young is a threat. From the same movie that I’m sure Golden Years folks missed:

“1) turn that thing off or i’m gonna go Sean Young on your ass! 2) I think she means Sean Penn. 3) Oh good....”

Joe Smith said...

'“"That "'pay it forward' philosophy" is the "philosophy" of chain letters and pyramid schemes."'

I know a woman who was always paying the bridge toll of the person behind her in line when Fastrak (or whatever system) wasn't a big thing yet.

I always assumed the toll taker was putting the money in their own pockets...

Anonymous said...

Tina Trent. Loved the prose. 11:34.

Iman said...

Q: do you smoke after sex?

A: I dunno. I’ve never checked...

Lurker21 said...

"Pay It Forward" might be a good idea but it didn't play well on the screen. Haley Joe Osment was an annoying little child "Karen," and with Kevin Spacey playing the adult lead, the movie will probably never be seen again.

I'm surprised nobody's followed up on the hand-shaped m&m cookie stuffed with Greek salad that seems to be the biggest thing to come out of Madison, Wisconsin ever. The guy should open up a store.

Big Mike said...

And “pool hopping” was a NorCal summertime game where you sneak into someone’s back yard, jump into the pool, swim to the other side, jump out and run away. They freak, then realize it’s harmless...

In 1988 some white teenagers from ultra-affluent suburb Chevy Chase * tried it in Washington, DC, but unluckily one of the pools in which they skinny dipped belonged to Carl Rowan. Rowan came out of the house, shot a blonde teenager with an unregistered (therefore illegal under DC law) .22 handgun, and went back inside. You’d think that charges of attempted murder and illegal use of a firearm would be slam dunks. But the kid was white, from a wealthy family, while Carl Rowan was a Civil Rights icon, Washington Post columnist, and former high official (Deputy Secretary of State) in the Kennedy administration. The case went to a DC jury, so Rowan walked.

Even back then, one law for wealthy, politically-connected, Democrats, another law for the rest of us.

* Yes, it was a village and a DC suburb before it was a C-list comedian.

chuck said...

Have some Madeira my dear.

Rory said...

"Watching old movies on Turner Classic Movies, it is astounding how quickly drinking went from illegal to something everybody does."

The BBC has a new version of All Creatures Great and Small. In the 1970-80s version they drank like fish. It'll be interesting to see if they do in the new one.

Freeman Hunt said...

Women encouraging each other to drink alone. How cute and sweet.

BUMBLE BEE said...

Timely... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjZR6Htma18

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

Big Mike said...

In 1988 some white teenagers from ultra-affluent suburb Chevy Chase * tried it in Washington, DC, but unluckily one of the pools in which they skinny dipped belonged to Carl Rowan. Rowan came out of the house, shot a blonde teenager with an unregistered (therefore illegal under DC law) .22 handgun, and went back inside. You’d think that charges of attempted murder and illegal use of a firearm would be slam dunks. But the kid was white, from a wealthy family, while Carl Rowan was a Civil Rights icon, Washington Post columnist, and former high official (Deputy Secretary of State) in the Kennedy administration. The case went to a DC jury, so Rowan walked.

If memory serves; Rowan was also a big proponent of gun control. I remember that being the big scandal about that incident.

DavidUW said...

Ale man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think

Also a description of the nytimes readership.

tcrosse said...

And “pool hopping” was a NorCal summertime game where you sneak into someone’s back yard, jump into the pool, swim to the other side, jump out and run away. They freak, then realize it’s harmless...

In The Swimmer (1968) Burt Lancaster does exactly that.

Freeman Hunt said...

For some of them, this may be a prelude to sharing coffee and donuts at AA meetings.

Mikey NTH said...

The NYT imagines its target audience to be the same as French aristocrats at Versailles playing at being shepherds and dairy maids. Perhaps they are correct, though the future of that sounds ominous.

walter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FullMoon said...

I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself

Every morning just before breakfast
I don't want no coffee or tea
Just me and good buddy Wiser
That's all I ever need
'Cause I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself
The other night I laid sleeping
And I woke from a terrible dream
So I caught up my pal Jack Daniel's
And his partner Jimmy Beam
And we drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself

The other day I got invited to a party
But I stayed home instead
Just me and my pal Johnny Walker
And his brothers Black and Red
And we drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself


George Thorogood - I Drink Alone Lyrics | MetroLyrics

walter said...

"a museum of NASCAR and moonshine"
Interesting combination.
Ding dong ditch was the phrase in Chicago and Southern WI growing up.
No shit.

Wine is so big with the gals that that there are brands so bold as to succumb to the binary via names such as Skinny Girl.
And oh...this: Nasty Woman Wines
"Drink with a purpose"

Iman said...

Giulietta of the Spirits.

Heh... that’s what I called my old Alfa Romeo, which seemed to only start when it had a mind to.

Howard said...

One Bourbon one Scotch and one Beer

Joe Smith said...

Sounds like a lush life...

rhhardin said...

For it to be a true act of charity there should be no possibility of self aggrandizement. Ain't no way the NYT readership is signing up for something like that!

Well, we were expected to go to confession, so like a good Christian, I went. But no matter who was on duty, I had only a string of good deeds to rattle off, and so I was at last warned that I must mend my ways or be barred from the house of the Lord. But next week it was the same story. Model conduct again and nothing I could do about it.

"I have fed the hungry and clothed the naked," I quietly persisted.

"Ten Hail Marys and as many Our Fathers."

"And I have never neglected my devotionals."

"Well, you can hop to them now. Make it the entire rosary."

The Vale of Laughter, Peter De Vries

Anonymous said...

The curtain that separated man from the Holy of Holies was torn down. With the sacrifice of Jesus, who was the Christ, the priesthood ended. Then Catholics reinstated it. Go figure.

FullMoon said...

I like beer, it makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer, it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer.


https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tomthall/ilikebeer.html

SeanF said...

My favorite "ding-dong ditch'em" (that's what we called it) story:

We were on a family vacation once and we had multiple rooms at the hotel - our parents had a room, my brother and I were sharing a room, and my sister and her husband and kids had a room. On evening, my brother and I decided to go get something from the soft drink machine, and ended up having to go down a level to find what we wanted.

So we're going back up the stairway, and as we come around the turn, we come up behind my sister and her daughter, hiding in the stairway and peaking out the door. Turned out they had knocked on our room door and run and hid, not realizing we weren't even in the room.

Big Mike said...

If memory serves; Rowan was also a big proponent of gun control. I remember that being the big scandal about that incident.

@NorthOfTheOneOhOne, your memory is correct. But that's just Democrats saying "Do as we tell you to, not as we do ourselves."

gpm said...

>>I never actually seen it done only heard stories about it but when I was a kid there was a variant on ding dong ditch where you would light a bag of dog s*** on fire and then the person would open the door see the fire and stomp it out and get dog s*** all over his foot.

I remember hearing about that one on the South Side of Chicago in the 60s (would that things were still that innocent on the South Side). Agreed, I don't recall ever hearing about, let alone seeing, it actually being done.

>>It was "N.... Knock" and no mistake about it.

Nah, don't remember anything like that terminology. Though the implicit N word would not have raised many, if any, eyebrows in the neighborhood.

--gpm

P.S. Your abhorrent sexism is showing in the reference to "his foot." Nancy Pelosi wouldn't approve, unless she was doing her Congressional Twitter file profile. In the future, please be more "inclusive" about who answers the door and gets dog shit on their foot!

DavidUW said...

Heh... that’s what I called my old Alfa Romeo, which seemed to only start when it had a mind to.
>>
You should try the new Giulia. 15,000 trouble free miles of smiles here. Fully loaded (not the QV), way cheaper and way more fun than a BMW.

Bunkypotatohead said...

The perfessor's trusted news source is becoming Cosmopolitan magazine. Why she still reads this dreck, I can't imagine.
Maybe she hopes someday they'll publish tips on how to improve those anemic orgasms.

Bob Smith said...

Just leave a bottle of nice Oregon Pinot Noir on the porch. I’ll shut the camera off so you can remain anonymous.

Kirk Parker said...

"...depressing Cheever short story..."

Well *that* really narrows it down!

FunkyPhD said...

@Walter: NASCAR was born from moonshine: when the shiners and the feds reached (somewhat) a truce after World War II, an enterprising southerner staged races between the cars formerly used to transport liquor from the mountain stills to the cities. Modified for enhanced speed and handling, these cars were deliberately left looking like ordinary conveyances (hence the adjective “stock”). Today’s NASCARs are purpose-built racecars, but up until the late 1970s they were still modified production Fords, Dodges, Chevrolets, and Pontiacs.

FunkyPhD said...

And Dawsonville is the home town of 1988 NASCAR champion Bill Elliott (“Awesome Bill from Dawsonville”) and his son (and reigning champion) Chase.

EAB said...

Ding Ding Ditch made me immediately think of this. (I know, I know...ignore the laugh track)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRGbJ67Ejzk

walter said...

Thanks Funky PhD,
Interesting..and gives me a new take on The Dukes of Hazzard show I grew up with.

bagoh20 said...

How small is the fraction of people who actually did this or saw it? The media has a habit of making very rare short-lived or even fictional occurrences into a thing, because you got to fill the page with something when the real news is problematic for your team which is most of the times these days. If you read this crap regularly you can't possibly have a realistic idea of the world. You'll have an idea though.

n.n said...

Bourbon brides are a feminist (i.e. chauvinist) concoction. Perhaps a slutty walk would help the medicine go down. #HateLovesAbortion

Anonymous said...

I knew about the dog poop fire thing when I was a teenager. Never heard it called N-anything. On mischief night though, the boys in the neighborhood would gather and plan our nefarious deeds. Bwahaha. We snuck around and used chunks of wax to deface the cars in the driveways. Bwahahaha. With every successful mission, we became emboldened. We began to reach up to the windows of the house we had targeted.

We'd hide in the bushes across the street, and then the bravest of us would sally forth to attack the 1st floor windows. Bwahaha. Didn't do the dog poop thing, because we liked the fathers in the neighborood, and they were the ones we would have to answer to. They didn't come out when we were waxing the windows, and shoot us, so that was a helpful restraint on their part.

Looking back, I can imagine the Mrs telling the Mr that the kids were waxing the windows, and the Mr saying...Honey, let it go.

Tina Trent said...

When you come to Dawsonville, be sure to turn onto Bill Elliot Street and get a burger at The Pool Room. The Bully Burger has cole slaw. That’s pretty much all they sell. Elliot’s race car hangs over the pool table, and the walls are papered with old newspapers reporting NASCAR triumphs. Two salvaged stills sit outside. They look like giant mud wasp’s nests with tangles of copper. I’m told I had a fine still build into a berm on my property, but I excavated and found nothing. In the autumn, they fire corn cobs from old cannons. This is significantly more engrossing than it sounds. Nobody can argue the pig races aren’t enjoyable.