Althouse: You hear noises...

June 28, 2019

You hear noises...

From the Wisconsin State Parks Facebook feed.

59 comments:

rehajm said...: My yard most nights.; 6/28/19, 7:23 AM
Susan said...: The original children of the corn.; 6/28/19, 7:25 AM
Shawn Levasseur said...: Bug out, nuke the site from orbit...

Only way to be sure.; 6/28/19, 7:26 AM
My name goes here. said...: The best way to break a gaze is to blink really hard.; 6/28/19, 7:26 AM
meTym said...: turn off the TV; 6/28/19, 7:29 AM
Gahrie said...: Give them a driver's liscence and welfare.; 6/28/19, 7:31 AM
Paul said...: Sounds like they feed those raccoons. And like welfare recipients and the homeless they always come back for 'free stuff'.; 6/28/19, 7:33 AM
Tank said...: You should be running !; 6/28/19, 7:33 AM
iowan2 said...: Funniest thing I've seen on the internet in days.; 6/28/19, 7:36 AM
Fen said...: ...call a friend and remind them to delete my browsing history; 6/28/19, 7:39 AM
Craig Howard said...: What do you do?

Well, over here in New York, you run.

Raccoons are almost all rabid.; 6/28/19, 7:41 AM
Beasts of England said...: Ewoks?; 6/28/19, 7:42 AM
whitney said...: That is terrifying!; 6/28/19, 7:43 AM
alanc709 said...: See what happens when you let the animals watch the Dems debate?; 6/28/19, 7:47 AM
The Minnow Wrangler said...: Backpacking on Cumberland Island, GA a couple of times...I had read about the aggressive raccoons but I was not prepared for how bold they were. They attacked our empty backpacks even though they were unzipped and there was no food in them. We ended up having to take the packs into our small tent with us.

Also I had brought rope to hang our food from a tree. Put all the food in a single bag, hung it from a branch, then put a hiking pole in the bag extending to the branch, where we also secured it to the top of the rope. It worked but I'm glad I knew about the raccoons in advance. They were not the least bit afraid of us.

For non backpackers the coolest thing I saw was where the campers had used large metal Christmas type tins, with metal loops riveted to them so they could be suspended from a metal dog tie-out cable hung between two trees.; 6/28/19, 7:49 AM
Big Mike said...: Could be worse. Could’ve been bears. There’s a state-run campground not far from here where a brainiac planted apple trees. If you go camping there in September you’ll find black bears roaming around the campsite and among the tents after dark.; 6/28/19, 7:50 AM
Wince said...: The raccoons have that George Romero dramatic zombie spacing between them.; 6/28/19, 7:53 AM
n.n said...: Call Coon Busters.; 6/28/19, 8:02 AM
Fernandinande said...: Looks fake, e.g. the shadow angles, some down, some up.; 6/28/19, 8:10 AM
Leland said...: Hand them voter registration cards.; 6/28/19, 8:10 AM
Ignorance is Bliss said...: What do you do?

I turn my back and say "Green Light". Then, immediately call out "Red Light" while turning back around. I bet I catch a bunch of those suckers moving, sending them back to the treeline...; 6/28/19, 8:11 AM
Bill Crawford said...: My parents lived in the hills in NW Portland (OR) and had outside stairs coming up three floors from the yard below. Raccoons would come up all three stairs and we would watch them through the sliding patio doors eat the dog food and occasional egg my mother would put out for them.

Her brother was describing this to a friend, but he phrased it unfortunately: "In Portland, the coons come and stare in Nora's window...."; 6/28/19, 8:12 AM
rehajm said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 6/28/19, 8:17 AM
rehajm said...: Sent to my AT thru hiking friend...

That account is pretty funny. That 'king of Texas' one is making the rounds this morning and is responsible for many coffee spit takes...; 6/28/19, 8:17 AM
LakeLevel said...: The most unsettling thing about raccoons is that you can jump up and down, yell really loud and wave your arms and they will just look at you like they are annoyed by the interruption.; 6/28/19, 8:23 AM
Tina Trent said...: First and last ever camping trip. Raccoons in federal parks know how to open tent zippers. One wonders why they don't just tear a hole, and the mystery of it more or less distracts one from screaming.; 6/28/19, 8:24 AM
Dave Begley said...: Start shooting.; 6/28/19, 8:26 AM
dbp said...: Gently move the fire selector from semi to full.; 6/28/19, 8:27 AM
stevew said...: Permanently remove all the food you've stashed in the tent to a secure location; or just toss it to the rabid critters.

Otherwise, David Begley has the best idea.; 6/28/19, 8:31 AM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: I love critters. So cute. I'd find bambi and the skunks, start a camp fire and have a party.; 6/28/19, 8:38 AM
Fen said...: For the "why do you NEED a 10 round magazine?" file for the "common sense" crowd.; 6/28/19, 8:39 AM
JaimeRoberto said...: We recently installed a doggie door in our garage for our cat. I guess I should call it a kittie door. It's controlled by the cat's chip so that only he is allowed through. The cat is scared to use it, but within a couple nights a raccoon figured it out and ate all the cat food in the garage. Smart animals. Annoying, but smart.; 6/28/19, 8:40 AM
Heartless Aztec said...: Hunting Island State Park on the ocean in South Carolina. Truly a beautiful place. 20+ racoons had the mother of all parties at our campsite. They actually drug the cooler down the road. All beers popped open. Oreos decimated. Chips open and scattered. The dog hid in the van. She wanted no part of the bachanalian proceedings. It looked like a warzone the next morning. Destruction on a minor key biblical scale. I'm thinking bring back the uber predators - gators, panthers, wolves and coyotes. Maybe a bottle of Jack Daniels and a 410g shotgun.; 6/28/19, 8:43 AM
Nonapod said...: The trash panda revolution has begun.; 6/28/19, 8:50 AM
Ice Nine said...: What do you do? You close the tent "door" and go back to sleep.; 6/28/19, 8:56 AM
Temujin said...: You tell them the time of the raccoon has come. As foretold. I am here to lead you to your destiny.; 6/28/19, 8:57 AM
The Minnow Wrangler said...: It's not only raccoons and bears. I once left the hatch open on my station wagon for a few minutes at a campground concession, and found that feral cats had ripped open bags of hot dog buns I packed for a church children's campout. The animals are wise to our ways and some of them will do anything for free food. An economics lesson?; 6/28/19, 9:01 AM
gilbar said...: what's FUN is to bring Lots of food to the campground (food sprinkled with Strychnine), and then let the raccoons munch away Hilarious!

Oh! and don't forget Strychnine is ALL NATURAL!
The most common source is from the seeds of the Strychnos nux-vomica tree.; 6/28/19, 9:04 AM
Roughcoat said...: Another funny Althouse post.

I like racoons. My two border collies, however, absolutely hate them and seek their termination with extreme prejudice. They have had epic battles with those critters on several of our nightly off-the-leash walks. The yowling and howling and snarling are clamorous and there is much ferocious paw-to-paw, claw-to-claw close-quarters combat, positively homeric. Border collies are working dogs, they just want to herd sheep and maintain order -- I think their enmity for racoons stems from the latter's threat to the cosmic order of things as border collies understand it. Death to all racoons! the border collies proclaim, and they mean it.; 6/28/19, 9:30 AM
buwaya said...: Surrender.; 6/28/19, 10:01 AM
Crimso said...: Pray you didn't screw up the "Front towards enemy" part as you're triggering it.

There are numerous accounts from the Civil War of artillery units using double-shotted canister on raccoons.

[I may have made that last bit up.]; 6/28/19, 10:20 AM
jim said...: Roughcoat, years ago when my border collie was young, he took exception to a raccoon's presence on his deck, charged and head butted him, sending the raccoon flying off the 15 foot high deck. Since then generations have stared down at him from the trees, and he always threaten mayhem. But no knock down, drag outs like you describe.; 6/28/19, 10:44 AM
jim said...: Me, I think they're cute and occasionally make friends with them.; 6/28/19, 10:45 AM
Yancey Ward said...: You have them sign up for the Democratic primary.; 6/28/19, 11:12 AM
Yancey Ward said...: Or you bus them to Minnesota.; 6/28/19, 11:13 AM
Yancey Ward said...: Raccoons are big, destructive, and dangerous rats.; 6/28/19, 11:14 AM
Static Ping said...: Play Freebird for the encore.; 6/28/19, 11:23 AM
PB said...: Reminds me of the scene in Men in Black where he opens the locker door and all the little aliens cheer, "All hail J!; 6/28/19, 12:30 PM
rehajm said...: I love critters. So cute. I'd find bambi and the skunks, start a camp fire and have a party.

Know Your Meme; 6/28/19, 12:43 PM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: lol rehajm - doing it right.; 6/28/19, 1:22 PM
Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...: furry Democrats; 6/28/19, 1:30 PM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: I've never had a negative run-in with a raccoon. I've had 2 young raccoons in my kitchen, eating pet food while their too-fat to get in the pet door parent waited outside on the patio.
they were far more afraid of me and ran out the pet door as soon as they heard me laughing.

I don't know how or why, but they crap on the roof and I've been told their poop is dangerous. OK. That's gross.

Dead of night, I once tossed a bag of wedding trash into a lonely bin behind the gas station.
I received the scary territorial growl from the raccoon who was inside. I said "Hey buddy, I just did you a huge favor. There's left-over cake in there."; 6/28/19, 1:30 PM
Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...: @BleachBit
I received the scary territorial growl

furry Democrats. They're never satisfied.

what you subsidize, you get more of.; 6/28/19, 1:37 PM
Seeing Red said...: I could use a new fur coat.; 6/28/19, 1:39 PM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: LOL.
I see your point but at least raccoons provide a garbage eating service.; 6/28/19, 1:40 PM
Jim at said...: Start shooting.

Yep. Pellet gun.

Previous homeowners left cat food out for the raccoons. Over the years, they (the 'coons) completely tore up the cedar siding on the house, around the doors ... everywhere. Spent a pretty coin to fix it.

Only needed to stop the food train, pop a few of them in the butt and they now know where they can roam and where they can't.; 6/28/19, 1:45 PM
Roughcoat said...: jim:

I also think they're cute. Any mammal with opposable thumbs is my brother. But, as you know, border collies are implacable. They cannot be dissuaded from their view that raccoons are evil. Once one of my border collies treed a raccoon in a young sapling. The raccoon climbed to the very top of that slender tree and clung to it for literally dear life while my BC stood below, staring up at in the way that only a border collie can stare. The standoff went on for about an hour before I decided to end it. I took pity on the raccoon. When I went into the back yard he looked at me forlornly as if to say, "can you help a brother?" The sapling swaying from the weight of the racoon at the top. My BC glanced at me for just an instant then went back staring at the raccoon. She would have stood there til Kingdom Come if that's what was required. Implacable. I called her inside and the moment the back door swung shut behind her the raccoon zipped down from the tree and ran off. Nature is harsh but fair, and sometimes funny.; 6/28/19, 2:01 PM
Unknown said...: Are they migrating from Pawnee, Indiana, or just on vacation?; 6/28/19, 9:09 PM
Achilles said...: Start shooting.; 6/29/19, 4:53 AM