This is why we can’t have nice things. I was trying to take a picture of the lobster roll I ordered in Maine and well, this happened 😂🤦🏻♀️ pic.twitter.com/N601vpQ41h
— Alicia Jessop (@RulingSports) June 7, 2019
June 7, 2019
Nice things.
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My daughter had her sandwich swiped by a kite in Africa. I was thankful the bird didn't take part of her hand.
Trust me, on safari the animals know where the lunch stop will be.
Rookie mistake. :-)
Unfortunately, I didn't get the picture of the kite, but I'm pretty sure that gull has scored lobster many times at the same location.
Serves her right for taking a picture of a stupid sandwich.
Around here I see a kite or hawk swoop and scoop a live lunch two or three times a year.
I used to see it more often on campus, and usually only a few yards away.
I don't know how busy the waters are where the pic was taken, but of course you can easily enough feed seabirds by hand in a busy harbor, from a slow boat.
Narr
It's the circle of death
By the way, kites don't go beak first, then come in talons first.
Nice things
I wonder what she thinks about the wall on the southern border.
It's a gull not a rat. Finish your sandwich
LoL. ON safari, we were told in advance at a lunch stop that the birds in the trees would swoop down and steal food out of our mouths. So, we were super careful, and yet these birds stole the food out of our hands. Seagulls by comparison are clumsy amateurs.
That there is a life lesson in three seconds.
Even gulls hate the food-posters.
45 years ago, we went to a State Park and my mother dropped us kids off with a bag of groceries at campsite for the night. We were going to "rough it". There wasn't a bird in sight, so we left, and went to the Lake for a couple of hours.
When we came back, the bag of groceries, and every package was ripped open. Hot dogs, Hamburgers, Buns, etc. The crows had quite a feast. Fortunately, there was still enough left for a pack of hungry boys to last through the night. But those damn birds got at least 1/2 of it.
It was our first meeting with Democrats.
Well, it's Maine lobster.
C'mon. Don't be a baby.
In the Okavango I was worried I would be the lobster roll.
News for the gullible.
Sue hey, you feeling ok Ray?
Ray: uyyyyyyyu uhhhhhhhh
Sue: have you been over to the Pound again? Swiping lobster rolls?
Ray: uhhhhhh it burns
Sue: you know that's too rich for your birdass. You're not a young bird anymore
Ray: it was soooo good at the time.
Sue: all that extra sauce with it too, I imagine. You're a bird Ray.
Ray: uhhhh you shut it, I see you sneaking fries w ketchup all the time.
In San Francisco, hot dogs in little kids hands are the seagulls rightful prey.
My daughter had the more regal distinction of losing a cookie to a peacock.
Lobster is overrated anyway.
She probably held it in the air for 30 seconds trying to get the lighthouse backdrop just right.
Looks like Nubble Light in York, Maine... the gull, though, doesn't look familiar...
This is why we should eat our food instead of acting as if the whole world cares what we had for lunch.
DEREK: I didn't. I was thinking while I was down there, 'cause I was shocked really at some of the stuff they had down there. . . I was thinking to myself, "What was the worst job I ever had?"
CLIVE: Well, that's tricky, because I've had some terrible jobs, you know. Yeah, I think the worst actually was in the States.
DEREK: Oh, you've been over there?
CLIVE: Yeah, I've been Stateside. And I was working for Jayne Mansfield.
DEREK: Jayne Mansfield eh?
CLIVE: Yeah, you know, she was very big in her day.
DEREK: She was very big in her day, is that what you said?
CLIVE: She was very big all day, and you know, all night, but the point I'm coming to was that my job was to retrieve lobsters from Jayne's arsehole. 'Cause Jayne, like a lot of Hollywood starlets at the time. . .
DEREK: Wait, wait, let me get this straight, you retrieved lobsters from Jayne's arsehole?
CLIVE: Did I fucking retrieve them? Yeah. I've got the marks to prove it.
DEREK: I'd have though that was a job with a lot of interest.
CLIVE: No, well, you're forgetting various factors, you see, Jayne had a huge bum and an enormous capacity for lobsters. And she used to go swimming every day off the beach at Malibu, you know, like the starlets did in those days. . . it was the fashionable thing to be seen with Hedda Hopper topless. . . And Jayne use to go out swimming and what happened was inevitable really, the lobsters flocked up her bum. I mean, I'm not blaming Jayne, I mean she had her personal problems and I'm not going to drag those in. . .
DEREK: Especially in the water.
CLIVE: Especially in the water, no.
DEREK: Well, from what you say, it sounds like a fifty-fifty thing… I'm sure that she led the lobsters on and I'm sure the lobsters got a sort of. . .
CLIVE: Got a kick from going up her bum. Yeah, and uh, the problem with the job was. . .
DEREK: Sort of I'll scratch my arse, you scratch mine. . .
CLIVE: Yeah, that was the sort of thing, and the problem with the job basically was that I was on twenty-four hour call, you know, there was no let-up, I mean, Jayne being a star, being temperamental. . . I mean all the accoutrements for being a star. . .
DEREK: Big tits.
CLIVE: Big tits, yes, I mean, was very demanding. . . if she had several lobsters up her bum, be it three o'clock in the morning or midnight, whatever time, she'd come screaming on the telephone, "Come up and get the lobsters out!" Which, of course, I did. And the pay wasn't bad, but the problem was once the lobster was lodged in her bum....
DEREK: They must have been buggers to get down.
CLIVE: Oh, they were buggers to get out, because a lobster, once in a crevice, likes to stick there. . . that's built into the lobster from, you know, nature. . . self-protective device. And she wore a heavy perfume.
DEREK: They used to back in, apart from that, because of their claws, didn't they?
CLIVE: No, they used to zoom up her bum backwards. Because the claws. . .
DEREK: They couldn't get out. . . because, you know, although the arsehole is spacious, the entrance was, you know. . .
CLIVE: Well, you know, it was not tiny and you'd have to, no you didn't have to. . . I had to put my hand up, you see, and get these lobsters out, and they were comatose, sort of dozy. . .They were stupid, overcome by the fame of it all. Any lobster worth it's salt is going to have a story to tell - "I've been up Jayne's bum!"
DEREK: Do you think they're that aware of things?
CLIVE: Lobsters? Oh, they're like dolphins. They're more intelligent than Joe Levine. And I used to get my hand right up and Jayne was not co-operative. She used to say, "Oh come on, move on." But all the time she was relishing the movement. So, it was a tricky job, but it had its perks, because a lot of the job, and I use the word with a certain amount of forbearance, sort of rubbed off on you. And in the fashionable bistro scene in Hollywood in those days… you know, if you could walk into a restaurant with a brown forearm, and they knew where that came from, you could pick up a few birds, mate, I'll tell you that. What's the worst job you've ever had?"
I am Laslo.
Here in Valdez, AK, the fishermen at the fish-cleaning stations can't take their eyes off their catch as gulls are lurking all around them waiting for that golden opportunity.
I fished out of Valdez, it was nice in the summer, so many salmon....
And this year, there are lurking ravens, too. Diversity.
Valdez is, IMO, the most beautiful town in Alaska.
My wife bought a lobster roll from a cart in that same spot. No Hitchcockian avian theft, though.
always make sure the horizon is level.
thanks
Hell of a lot more interesting shot than the planned "Lobster Roll Salute to the Light House".
Seagulls by comparison are clumsy amateurs.
Ha! At San Francisco Zoo, they will steal the hot dog right out of the bun. Ant then fly up on the roof and laugh at the startled tourist.
Practice makes perfect.
Valdez is, IMO, the most beautiful town in Alaska.
How are the mosquitoes up there?
...and crop the top
Sea gulls are natures thugs.
Once I was walking down the quay in St. Ives, eating a big ice cream cone, and a gigantic seagull swooped down and snatched it right out of my hand. It landed on a post and glared at me with malevolent yellow eyes, and I could see the point of my cone sliding sideways down the inside of its neck like in the cartoons. I hoped it would die because of it, but afterwards I read that that kind of seagull sometimes catches birds in the air and swallows them whole, head first.
Here in southwest Texas you sometimes have to watch out for vultures, but they only swoop down if you walk away. I've seen them devour bunches of bananas off a picnic table.
I was grilling on the roof top of our house in San Diego. I had to run down to get some buns. I heard gulls screaming. I went up and found a gull screaming w/ a burned foot. I'm an empathetic person but loved it. I see them stealing food all the time on the beach. The ignorant tourists who feed them should be flogged.
"Valdez is, IMO, the most beautiful town in Alaska."
The views of Resurrection are stunning. If you are driving, you went through Thompson Pass to get there. I hope it was clear. Summer or winter it is something to see. If you are able, take the ferry to Cordova/Whitter from Valdez. That ride is some high end scenery.
rc, We were camping and a raccoon opened the tupperware and ate all our desserts.
hmmmm. Lot of animosity building up towards these seaside swindlers.
maybe the coast is clear to mention feeding them Alka-Seltzer
poof!!
The views of Resurrection are stunning. If you are driving, you went through Thompson Pass to get there. I hope it was clear.
Yes, I drove down yesterday. It was showering off and on but by the time I got to the pass the mountains were all crystal clear. It's gorgeous here again today but--to me--cold. And windy. You can tell the Alaskans here, shirtless and tank tops in 53-degree weather. Had some good Thai food for dinner. Last time I was in Valdez it rained the entire week I was here but it was still stunningly beautiful. Great town. Homer is beautiful too but has become such a zoo I don't stay there.
45 years in AK. 5 years gone :/ Jeez. Seward, Resurrection is by Seward. Seward, Homer, McCarthy are also great if you haven't been.
Been to Seward and Homer, not McCarthy. Last time I drove up unpaved Nabesna Rd and camped overnight in a pull-out with the most amazing view of Mt. Sanford. I'll be going there again.
Seriously, my friends, don't eat lobster.
(a) it is disrespectful to eat a creature that is quite likely older than you or your parents
(b) they are not some "higher form of insect" they are gentle creatures who just want to spend their life walking around the floor of the ocean without walking into some horrible trap where everything they love - freedom, the hunt for food, the flow of water, the hope of finding a mate - is denied them.
People talk about how earlier generations were better than this one. Well, think about al the trapped animals back in the day who would never be trapped today, because we are kinder and are setting better examples for future generations.
Except for the poor lobsters, people still trap them just as much as they used to trap our friends the foxes, the beavers, the mink, the poor bears, the raccoons.
It was very cowardly of our great-grandparents to do all that trapping, and they did it for money not from necessity.
You know it and I know it.
Anyway, if you eat lobster, do so sparingly.
In the 1800s, feeding lobsters to prisoners was considered an 'unusual and cruel punishment', like making people eat rats.
@laszlo
Read the whole thing in a British and German accent (Clive = uk, Derek = German)
Bravo
"Nabesna Rd"
Glad to hear you are getting off the highways (all three of them:) There are some cool backroads, but some are pretty rough. RVing? Whats your tow?
If it has mayo, it ain't a true lobster roll. It's lobster salad.
I-t - ARM ----- lots of the italian peasant foods of the 1800s are now extremely expensive in the "farm to table" or "sea to table" restaurants in the heart of Italy
if you like lobsters eat them sparingly don't eat them as if you wanted to eat up every lobster in the ocean
that would be gluttonous
God bless
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=i+want+ya+in+ma+belly&view=detail&mid=5FC05E3525DB6B9CBEDB5FC05E3525DB6B9CBEDB&FORM=VIRE
Check your mammal privilege!
No recent bird thefts, but a few months ago were on our way to the Ngorongoro Crater and had to stop at the Park office with all the other vehicles to have our permits checked. The lot was full of safari vehicles who were the prime target of the troop of baboons that live in the bush around the lot and make a living preying on the unaware, slow moving tourist. We stood with our cameras in the middle of the lot and photographed the baboons as they wandered nonchalantly around waiting for a window to be rolled down or a door to be opened upon which they would dive right into the vehicle and immediately locate the lunch sack and jump back out. We’d watch as they would inspect the contents—out goes the juice box, sandwich is inspected, fruit definitely kept. If they didn’t see the lunch bags right away they would definitely make a mess of the insides looking for edibles. Definitely smart and on a mission and have that local market totally staked out! There’s a big fight if anybody tries to move in on their territory.
Maine has very good lobster rolls. Nova Scotia lobster rolls were a bit fresher and tasty. And yes, a real lobster roll has no mayo. I've eaten them w/ mayo, and they're good. But not the real deal.
Some of the raven-pairs in Grand Canyon have learned how to work zippers. They leave if you huck a rock at them, but then they perch above your chamber door....
The monkeys in India dart up and rip the lunchbag from your hands. And scamper up into trees and chortle about it, and assess your lunch, scornfully pitching undesirable pieces of it at you. And if you intercept one in the act and make shift to kick the shit out of the little bastard the Indians rip your hands from your arms. They LIKE those monkeys.
The baboons in Africa, at least where we were, were granted the waterhole truce, with transit from the high rocks above the ranch down to the pool and back. But if one of them broke into your room and messed with your chifferobe, it was hunted down and killed.
when the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there.
Stay Hungry, my friends
You know it and I know it.
Sanctimony. Break me a fucking give.
Anyway, if you eat lobster, do so sparingly.
On the contrary, when a lobster comes my way I gorge.
Glad to hear you are getting off the highways (all three of them:) There are some cool backroads, but some are pretty rough. RVing? Whats your tow?
Don't need one with my Bengal Tiger TX. It has 4X4 and good clearance. I also took the Denali Highway last trip and camped at the top. Splendid views.
Quastor - you seem not to want good advice.
Sad!
Reread Proverbs 8!
by the way I am the least sanctimonious person you will ever meet.
that being said i don't like bullies and gluttons, but I know many people whom I like have such tendencies, and I try to give them good advice.
Gorge on if you want. But reread Proverbs 8 first.
"I was grilling on the roof top of our house in San Diego. I had to run down to get some buns. I heard gulls screaming. I went up and found a gull screaming w/ a burned foot. I'm an empathetic person but loved it. I see them stealing food all the time on the beach. The ignorant tourists who feed them should be flogged."
Lol. Yeah the Crows are bandits but the Seagulls are the biggest Pirates this side of Long john silver. What they lack in intelligence, they make up for in muscle and sheer gall.
for the record I have no curiosity as to what mean-spirited thing some loser who pretends to have a lot of testosterone and jokes about gluttony has to say .....
no curiosity at all.
if such a person chooses to rise above joking about gluttony and has something human and normal to say, well I would find that interesting.
if i were sanctimonious i would just criticize, but i am not sanctimonious at all, and i want everyone to be the person God wants them to be
"Splendid views."
Sounds like you know your way around. Have fun.
stephencooper writes a lot of sanctimonious verbiage for someone who professes no curiosity. (BTW, no curiosity is just what one should expect from a person who claims God is his "pal".)
And another BTW for your information, your claim about the age of lobsters is unsupported by evidence. You know what evidence is, don't you, stephencooper? That's the thing your pal has none of.
I am the least sanctimonious person you will ever meet.
What else does one say about a person who claims a supernatural phantom for a "pal"? It's either sanctimony or insanity. There's nothing in between.
But reread Proverbs 8 first
I rather eat lobster and be a glutton, than be an unctuous windbag like stephencooper.
Quastor you seem sad.
cheer up!
should I look up unctuous, what do you think?
Start with evidence. It comes before unctuous in my dictionary.
Am I really the first to state "that's a shoop!"?
Quaestor it is always nice to argue about important things.
No offense taken, I hope.
You think you are right, I think I am right, who really cares?
@stephencooper
...it is always nice to argue about important things.
Well put.
So, why do you believe what you seem to believe? An honest question — I have set no logical traps in your path, just a Socratic question.
Quaestor - because I have seen angels, and the only reason I saw angels was because they felt sorry for me. Typically they hide themselves from people but when people suffer an awful lot I guess they just can't help themselves,
Almost everyone my age who has suffered as much as I have is dead. I have a pretty good grasp of statistics and that is just the truth.
I saw angels when I almost bled to death after an accident,
I saw angels in my dreams when all my hopes of happiness in this world turned out to be futile --- this is not my world.
And I read the bible a lot, and pray a lot, and experience lots and lots of deep happiness knowing that God loves me, as stupid and sinful as I am.
And every once in a while I realize that God appreciates the fact that I like him.
I am not humble and not a faith-filled preacher and I am, although not someone who sins much, not someone who inspires other people with my love of the Lord, but I know this .....
This world is part of Heaven, when we are good, and not part of Heaven when we are, well, when we are the sort of person I usually am.
That is why I come across sometimes as phony, because I am flawed. A flawed person who has seen a truth that is too great to express, if one is a flawed person.
I have met people who do not come across as flawed but, to tell the truth, most of them have had an easier time in life than I ever had.
Just saying. Anyway, no harm no foul, any time I seemed like i was trying to win an argument maybe I was just being a failure.
Better people than me have failed to say what they wanted to say in the right way.
that was good Laslo.
It's funny how the tweet betrays no consciousness that taking a picture of a sandwich is, uh, stupid.
Nobody said..."that was good Laslo."
The immortal Derek and Clive. And, somehow, 10cc and the Gizmo.
I am Laslo.
Pretty dramatic photo.
That's a nice thing.
Crustaceus 11:10
But anything in the seas or the rivers that does not have fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is delectable to you.
If you eat your food, and don't try to show people that you're traveling and eating, then things like this will not happen.
Nice photo, but even better if she wasn't attracting the seagull with human food.
I went for a walk this morning with my dog. The weather was nice, the air was clean, I met a number of neighbors who greeted us warmly. The hydrangeas in my neighborhood are in bloom. We saw some deer along the path and my dog chased them into the woods. But I was not able to get any pleasure from the walk because my phone's battery had run down, so I was unable to document the wonderfulness for facebook. It's almost like it never really happened.
Quaestor! Careful, or your gluttony will lead you to the fate of Mr. Creosote.
I've seen it so many times.
Narr
One thin mint?
Coincidentally, that lighthouse is one of the background photos provided by Microsoft (tm) on my system, sans gull, of course. I thought it looked familiar.
Good. Food is for eating. Stop taking pictures of it.
Good. Food is for eating. Stop taking pictures of it.
I agree and don't like food porn or sex porn. Sex is for enjoying not for videotaping.
The reason that we evolved intelligence in the first place was to help us outsmart stupider omnivores, like seagulls for example. This tweet is proof that technologies like cellphone cameras allow other omnivores -- at least temporarily -- to outsmart us.
Now, this can't end well, can it?
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