Althouse: "Cessario's 'straight edge' contemporaries were looking for a water brand that spoke to them, instead of to 'Whole Foods yoga moms'..."

May 8, 2019

"Cessario's 'straight edge' contemporaries were looking for a water brand that spoke to them, instead of to 'Whole Foods yoga moms'..."

"Straight-edge punks are sober, Cessario said, but still otherwise all in on the punk lifestyle. 'Red Bull blurs the lines — are they an energy-drinks company or action-sports brand?' Cessario said. 'You just don't see that in the health space and with the healthy brands. I don't drink soda or energy drinks, and neither do most of my friends.... Initially some of our thinking was, we wanted to take more inspiration from the beer category because one thing we know in marketing is if you want younger people to want something, you have to market to people in their 20s because teens want the thing they can't have... At first we knew the easiest crowd for us is anyone into heavy metal, punk rock, and that kind of world because they immediately get the joke and get the humor and have never seen anything like it. What makes this appealing for such a large group is that it feels like a niche thing."

From "A former Netflix creative director just got $1.6 million from big names in tech for Liquid Death, which is water in a tallboy can" (Business Insider).

Well, he's getting the publicity, and you're watching this ad:

Maybe you're not buying the water, but people buy bottled water. It doesn't make sense to buy any of it, when tap water is just fine, so you're just picking a label. Why not "death"? It's not as if death hasn't been used as a brand before. There's Death's Door gin (and Bob Dylan's Heaven's Door whiskey). There are all of the "death by chocolate" desserts. And Tombstone pizza.

Is water death? It can be. Sure. Sure as raw marmot innards.

And if you're wondering about straight-edge punks — "Straight edge: How one 46-second song started a 35-year movement/No drugs, no booze…just 'positive mental attitude' and lots of testosterone."

50 comments:

Anthony said...: Dunno about tap water always being fine -- here in the Phoenix area it very often smells and tastes like a sewer (although it is supposedly "safe") -- but I rarely buy bottled water. Except when it's mixed with various chemicals and junk to make it taste delicious and/or caffeinated.; 5/8/19, 11:35 AM
Achilles said...: Tap water here probably destroys all your gut bacteria. It tastes way better filtered.

I never understood buying bottled water in the US.

Even oversees how likely is the bottled water actually safer than the tap water. But I buy it anyway.; 5/8/19, 11:37 AM
rehajm said...: Death Wish Coffee made with Liquid Death water. Yowza!; 5/8/19, 11:39 AM
n.n said...: Planned [Soda] Pop; 5/8/19, 11:41 AM
The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...: Who wants to drink water from a can? Maybe after your freighter has been torpedoed by a U-boat, but not a chance otherwise. Branding stupid.

And Tony's right. Tap water throughout the Southwest is virtually undrinkable. Even the locally bottled Diet Pepsi tastes like shit. We're blessed in Washington in this at least.; 5/8/19, 11:43 AM
Fernandinande said...: It doesn't make sense to buy any of it, when tap water is just fine,

It doesn't make any sense to eat a steak when you can have hotdogs made from chicken, which are just fine.

We get Safeway brand water, which is cheap and actually tastes good.

here in the Phoenix area it very often smells and tastes like a sewer

That might not bother AA because her sense of smell, and therefore also her sense of taste, is very deficient.; 5/8/19, 11:45 AM
Lucid-Ideas said...: LMFAO

Shipping water from the Alps. These guys are laughing their butts off.; 5/8/19, 11:48 AM
gerry said...: The animation looks like an Itchy and Scratchy production.; 5/8/19, 11:49 AM
Quaestor said...: What a lame ad. Yes, violent murder is bloody, but as a vehicle for humor blood has its limits, and that ad reached it 8 seconds into the clip.

For a humorous treatment of an unnecessary product, there's this.; 5/8/19, 11:49 AM
Fernandinande said...: Fatal water intoxication

"Water intoxication can occur in a variety of different clinical settings but is generally not well recognised in the medical literature. The condition may go unrecognised in the early stages when the patient may have symptoms of confusion, disorientation, nausea, and vomiting, but also changes in mental state and psychotic symptoms. Early detection is crucial to prevent severe hyponatraemia, which can lead to seizures, coma, and death."; 5/8/19, 11:50 AM
walter said...: A good use for bottled water is keeping it within reach, ample supply in car to prevent opting for more expensive and less healthy drinks.
I drink more water when driving around than I do at home with so many other options.; 5/8/19, 11:52 AM
Lucid-Ideas said...: "Stigmatized Food"

Just water. No Stigma. Liquid Death.; 5/8/19, 11:52 AM
Fernandinande said...: Shipping water from the Alps.

Is that what it is? I might buy Ötzi! Naturally Mummified Water for the hole[sic] family.

I thought the goofiest was "Fiji" water, actually shipped from Fiji, which just sounds salty and nasty.

Fiji - Area
• Water (%) negligible; 5/8/19, 11:55 AM
Ficta said...: The recyclable metal can is meant to be more environmentally friendly and health conscious than a plastic bottle, I'm assuming. Plus..Metal. So underage kids and straight edgers can stand around holding something other than beer or energy drinks while looking cool at parties.

Not all tap water is "fine", some is pretty awful.

I thought this ad for Liquid Death was amusing as well.

I could see buying it under the right circumstances.; 5/8/19, 11:59 AM
Lucid-Ideas said...: Liquid Death goes great with raw plague marmot. While working overtime for the privilege of which one kills you they end up canceling each other out.

It's proven science.; 5/8/19, 11:59 AM
Sigivald said...: The way they've marketed it as "alkaline" annoys me, because it verges on the sort of Utter Nonsense Hippie Woo that claims you need to "alkalinize" your body*.

And it comes across as Trying Too Hard. Real punks DIY.

(* You don't. If you successfully do so, you'll be in the hospital or dead.)

(Re. comments above, note that most commercial bottled water *is just tap water* anyway.

If you live in a place with awful tap water, like much of California or Arizona, it'll be better tap water from far away, or filtered, but ...); 5/8/19, 12:05 PM
Fernandinande said...: "Naturally Mummified Water" sounds edgier than "Liquid Death".; 5/8/19, 12:06 PM
Lincolntf said...: Okay, if I were required to analyze this commercial for my Copywriting class, I'd give it a B+. It targets a specific consumer-type (high energy bros), it gets attention with the opening scene of violence, it keeps interest by showing the animated figure hacking and smashing people to death, it triggers desire with the closing scene of the refreshed sigh and the audio of the water trickling out of his neck. I didn't see a clear call to action at the end, but I might have missed it. If they direct you to a website or a phone number, preferably repeated, then it might get an A. That said, I'm not the target demographic and found the ad off-putting and ridiculous.; 5/8/19, 12:13 PM
Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...: Meaning no disrespect to noble friends of that ethnic persuasion, but...

Some 6-8 yrs ago I was somewhere looking for some bottled water to buy. What caught my myopic eye was a small section on the bottom shelf of "Sewage Creek Water."

Somewhat astonished, I hunkered down for a closer look and on careful inspection was able to read "Sawridge Cree Water." Sourced from natural mineral springs on the reservation, or some such.

Cannot find any reference to this brand on the internet now, but true story nonetheless.; 5/8/19, 12:23 PM
Lucid-Ideas said...: You could - as likely inclined - sip on a Liquid Death or its prime lifestyle competitor, Zima, and still get both the same effect while putting out the same 'message':

- 30-40yr old closet-gay lumbersexual with bro-beard who plays VG and works in IT

Or

- 30-40yr old also closet-gay metrosexual with ascot who doesn't work in IT but stil pwnsss people on the web; 5/8/19, 12:26 PM
MayBee said...: I don't think flat water tastes good out of a can. But I get and applaud the inclination. Having something to hold onto at a bar or party is a big part of being there. Sober people might want something that looks cooler than just a plastic bottle of water or a soda can. I applaud it, because I applaud people who are sober in this alcohol-fueled world.; 5/8/19, 12:27 PM
rehajm said...: We're blessed in Washington in this at least.

Funny WA water story. My parents lived in Chelan, WA for a time. Chelan is a lovely place just east of the Cascade mountain wilderness from where the community sources it's wonderful tasting pure mountain water. Well, some leftie hoo ha bureaucrat in the state mandated that every state municipality purchase and install a certain type of industrial water purification system. Chelan complied but the system kept breaking down, to great expense. Come to find out the source water was so pure the system couldn't properly function, so they had to start adding crap to the water to make it run properly.; 5/8/19, 12:28 PM
Birches said...: As has been said, AZ water is pretty bad. Never realized it until we moved in 2007. Some cities had better water than others. My uncle would fill up giant 5 gallon bottles of water at my grandma's in Mesa. They lived in Chandler. Colorado water is heavenly.; 5/8/19, 12:45 PM
Sebastian said...: Progs dish out BS. Progs eat up BS. Why not drink and swallow BS?; 5/8/19, 12:45 PM
Art in LA said...: The total opposite of Jolt Cola -- Jolt's tagline "All the sugar, twice the caffeine"! When I was in college it was a badge of honor to drink straight up Coca-Cola, what we called "workahol". I'm glad kids are smarter these days, but I say just go for tap water.; 5/8/19, 12:48 PM
Jim Gust said...: As others have noted, not all tap water is created equal. I drink tap from the well at my rural home, but at my office in town the tap water is awful.

Drinking bottled water instead of soda or juice has been great for my weight loss program. I drink exactly one liter every work day.; 5/8/19, 12:57 PM
Mike (MJB Wolf) said...: I'm dashing this off before I read the 25 or so comments already here. My family is intimately familiar with the SoCal Straight-Edge scene (20 or so years) and especially the subset of Christian SE punk bands, and this product is EXACTLY what appeals to these guys, and most of the girls, in the movement. Most of the bandmates have legit jobs since they out-grow touring Europe and settle down like regular people, but the Straight-Edge aspect is a serious part of their lifestyle, the center of it and their self image. Otherwise they appear to be regular old punks with lots of tattoos and aggressive attitudes when flocking together.

To me, the aluminum is attractive. If I need water I'd rather have the aluminum to recycle than the crappy plastic bottles. So, price being equal (cough - fat chance - cough) I'd prefer this presentation over other brands. We just recently moved from Palm Springs to civilization nearer LA. One always took water in the desert because you never know and the landscape is unforgiving. But now I'm settling back into casual attitude toward water because our mountain source is delicious.; 5/8/19, 1:03 PM
Scott Patton said...: Local tap water is too inconsistent. One week fine - next week musty cardboard. I buy a case of deer lake at Sam's. Dump it out when I need a new bottle and refill many times with Britta filtered tap. The case of bottles lasts 6 months to a year.
BTW:raw marmot innards - Great name for a band.; 5/8/19, 1:03 PM
Ann Althouse said...: I wrote "It doesn't make sense to buy any of it, when tap water is just fine..."

If your tap water is NOT fine, then it does make sense to buy bottled water. Or canned or boxed water. Whatever container you like.

Personally, I never drink out of a can. I think I've done it a handful of times in my entire life. I just find putting my mouth on the edge of a can very unpleasant!; 5/8/19, 1:17 PM
Nonapod said...: I wonder if Ian Mackaye could have imagined what he has wrought.; 5/8/19, 1:18 PM
Robert G. said...: Most of my friends are middle-aged punks who still play in bands. Many of them have been straight-edge since the eighties (others are reluctantly straight-edge after the debauchery of their youth). In our scene there is a bit of snobbery around fizzy water that's not unlike craft beer snobbery. I think the overall consensus favors La Croix, but this is mostly because of its Wisconsin/Midwestern roots rather than perceived edginess.; 5/8/19, 1:20 PM
Titus said...: I loved tombstone pizza growing up in Wisconsin. Made in Medford wi. I was devastated when I couldn't find tombstone pizza in Boston.; 5/8/19, 1:38 PM
Caligula said...: "Cessario's 'straight edge' contemporaries were looking for a water brand that spoke to them" ... only to discover that sometimes a can of water is just a can of water?

(Yes, but it's branded water ...).; 5/8/19, 2:40 PM
JackWayne said...: The skinheads were also into straight-edge living.....; 5/8/19, 2:46 PM
JaimeRoberto said...: I wanted to teach my son about how people can be fooled by branding. I gave him a blind taste test of tap water, Fiji water and some other bottled water. Tap water came out on top. Fiji finished last. I repeated the test just to make sure, and the results were the same.; 5/8/19, 2:46 PM
MayBee said...: Think of it this way: people aren't buying the water. They are buying the can.; 5/8/19, 3:02 PM
chuck said...: > It doesn't make sense to buy any of it

Genius marketing, some companies made billions selling water to people with perfectly good water coming out of the hose. If you aren't impressed by that, you're missing something. IIRC, it all started with Perrier...; 5/8/19, 3:16 PM
DimWhit said...: If yer tap water stinks, filter it into submission. If you need water on the go,
get a refillable bottle. I use Sigg. I also collect rainwater, filter it thru
my Katadyn gravity ceradyn microfilter. (Started this practice mostly to get
good quality water for my coffee.) How many people sucking on plastic water bottles
(a petrochemical product) think the world is going to end in 2050 IF WE DON'T ACT
NOW? (Idiots); 5/8/19, 3:25 PM
Anonymous said...: I don't buy water. My ancestors left their villages in Europe so they wouldn't have to haul water from the well. Tap water is a great invention.; 5/8/19, 3:29 PM
Wa St Blogger said...: Think of it this way: people aren't buying the water. They are buying the can.

People are buying the hype. The water plus the can is $.10. The rest is hype and image. People always pay for hype and image. No one want's to be caught being uncool.; 5/8/19, 3:44 PM
Gospace said...: I prefer my well water, filtered to 5 microns, and softened with KCl. No chlorine.; 5/8/19, 3:54 PM
Yancey Ward said...: I would market a can that simply said "Tap Water".; 5/8/19, 4:33 PM
Maillard Reactionary said...: People too broke to own a car or a house are paying good money for tap water in a can. Only in America. Where is Bernie Sanders to rescue us from this waste?

We pump our own water from the Kirkwood-Cohansey aquifer. We had them run the full panel on it again last year and it is still pristine. pH is a bit low for the pipes' liking straight out of the ground (although very tasty to humans) so we moderate that a bit with an "acid neutralizer", but otherwise it's good.

Philadelphia tap water used to be infamously foul ("Schuylkill Punch") but it's much better now. You could smell it before you drank it, and I'm not talking chlorine. There are aficionados who say that NYC's is better, but I can't imagine their water mains are in any better shape than Philly's. A few of those rupture with great regularity every winter, making the affected neighborhoods temporarily much more vibrant.; 5/8/19, 5:22 PM
Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...: for smart women--
you've got your own water now, baby! You've come a long, long way!

https://www.psfk.com/2013/06/nestle-bottle-water-women.html; 5/8/19, 5:25 PM
Jaq said...: Maybe you're not buying the water, but people buy bottled water. It doesn't make sense to buy any of it, when tap water is just fine, so you're just picking a label.

‘Fine’ is a funny word, if used before a noun, as an adjective, it means one thing, “fine wine,” “fine horses,” “fine cars” but if you use it after ‘is’. “this wine is fine,” “the horse is fine,” or “the car is fine,” it means almost the opposite. Tap water is fine some places, not others, try Florida, where there are notes of alligator piss and turtle droppings, or where I live, where the chlorine smell is so strong it seems like you could bleach your underwear with it.

I just finished today putting a sediment filter followed by a carbon filter on under the kitchen sink so that I could drink the tap water, but I still prefer to run it then through a zero water. Bottled water is much easier and worth the cost.; 5/8/19, 5:33 PM
Jaq said...: BTW, the best product at Starbucks is free, it’s a cup of that water that they filter the living shit out of in order to make their coffee.; 5/8/19, 5:34 PM
Jaq said...: Local tap water is too inconsistent. One week fine - next week musty cardboard.

I was going to write a response, but that “musty cardboard” image is great.; 5/8/19, 5:38 PM
iowan2 said...: Poor people spend more on bottle water than what school hot lunch would cost for their kids.; 5/8/19, 9:05 PM
JAORE said...: But isn't "positive mental attitude and a lot of testosterone" a contradiction?

The left has left me confused on so many issues.

But then I prefer words to not change meaning by 180 degrees on a moments notice.; 5/9/19, 9:27 AM
TML said...: Thta's the "Mr. Pickles" animator's work. One of the greatest Night Swim cartoons; 5/9/19, 11:40 AM