There are 4 tips in this WaPo article, and I think the most important one is: "Do not tell people you are staying home. Act as though you’re gone by not filling your days with obligations with friends and family — unless they are part of your vacation-at-home plans."
The way that's written, it seems to be based on the problem of other people taking up your time if they know you're around. If that's your problem, I don't think you've got your day-to-day life in order. Arrange all your time to defend yourself against unenjoyable, unnecessary get-togethers.
I like the tip because it protects you from thinking too much about what other people think about you. People are always asking where you are going on vacation. They're mainly just being friendly and doing the most conventional small talk, but it can get into your head and make you feel that you're supposed to go away on vacation, that you'll be pitied if you don't. So keep it to yourself. Just like you don't freely dish out info on how much sex you're having, you don't need to tell everyone whether or not you travel. By making these topics private, you'll have a better chance of doing what you really want to do.
Of course, I've broadened the topic beyond the scope of the article, which is people who don't really have the money to travel but have been convincing themselves that they ought to anyway. If that's why you're staying home, there's all the more reason to keep your "staycation" private. Other people don't need to know what you can't afford.
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Years ago our youngest son spent a few days at a soccer camp. We decided to take a vacation over the same period, but also decided to stay in-state. One of the better vacations we'd ever taken to that time.
Your home area likely has many things worth seeing that you always intended to see but have never taken the time.
And, as we found out when we retired, friends and family have a nearly infinite capacity to find ways for you to spend your time.
The things people worry about. We simply alienated ourselves from many of our family and friends, so no one cares what we do. We win!
Also: Turn off your electricity. Saves money and no on knows you're home.
"deserve" is a strange word.
I didn't even take vacations. Tribulations of a play for pay job.
"Do not tell people you are staying home. Act as though you’re gone by not filling your days with obligations with friends and family
So, does This explain the nightly Cafe situation? :)
I like the "it's none of your business" angle, and the advice not to feel self-conscious about not going somewhere. Some of our best vacations have been staycations: we do local things that we've always wanted to do but never got around to.
My wife and I do a 'big' trip every couple of years. These are usually international and to a civilized place (my requirement). The only downside I've experienced from telling people is that it can trigger a conversation about their trip to wherever it is we are going, and their advice about what we should do and see. Ugh. Even worse is when they want to show me their photos of their trip. Nothing worse than sitting through photos of other people's journeys.
How about: "Tell everyone you are staying at home. And if they drop by they can help move rocks."
When i got back from fishing on the Blue Ridge last week, i went to the post office to restart my mail; and started to say: "I'm back from my vacation..."
THEN! I remembered that i don't GET vacations anymore; Stupid Retirement!!! I miss days off of work
"THEN! I remembered that i don't GET vacations anymore; Stupid Retirement!!! I miss days off of work"
And weekends are the worst!
“Just like you don't freely dish out info on how much sex you're having, you don't need to tell everyone whether or not you travel.”
Travel?
Yes, please!
We go by Mr Money Moustache's statement: Your debt is an emergency. But there is no deserve or not deserve. Nobody "deserves" a treat, like cake or a vacation. It's a matter of affording, vs. not affording. Can your blood sugar handle a piece of cake? Can your body afford it? Can your finances handle a vacation? Are you optimizing your choices to achieve the best outcome?
On staycations - sure, they're great. Travelling can be stressful. I don't understand why secretiveness is necessary. In small-talk, acquaintances ask if one is travelling for the summer or over holidays. It would be odd to respond with, "I cannot confirm nor deny that question." But there's no reason to go into hiding if you don't want to socialize. Use curtesy to gently turn down invitations over the holidays or summer or whatnot. Mature Adults understand that people are not available 24-7.
You DO deserve a vacation. Go in debt. Someone else can pay for it. New Bernie slogan.
"deserve" is a strange word.
Yeah that was my response too. Not necessary and possibly counter-productive to reach the intended audience which benefits the most from the advice. That Game of Thrones bell ringing scene came to mind, "shame! shame! shame!" Some people aren't happy unless they are enacting the Scarlet Letter on someone else.
which is people who don't really have the money to travel but have been convincing themselves that they ought to anyway
Really? People do this? I feel like it's the opposite: most people love to travel and have to convince themselves to be adults and pay down the credit card instead of taking a trip. Who (besides Althouse) has to talk him or herself into traveling?
Free Universal vacation. you deserve it.
Original Mike said... And weekends are the worst!
The ABSOLUTE WORST! Trout streams fill up with crowds of people; can't they stay home and mow the lawn?
Nothing makes me crazier than when people deep in debt try to persuade me that they are being financially responsible because they “saved up” for their vacation.
Four days of vodka and meth might make you crazier. Try it!
And I am not impressed that you saved for a summer trip to Walt Disney World with your children when you haven’t even set up a college fund for them.
Disney World is more inclusive and less expensive than those picky colleges with their stupid "admissions".
Neither will I give you a high-five for paying cash for a cruise when you have continued to carry a credit card balance for years.
Oh man, I was really looking forward to a high-five from Michelle Singletary.
Go have a picnic at a community lake.
Go jump in a community lake.
The reason (these) people are in debt is the same reason they feel obligated or deserving of a vacation.
people who don't really have the money to travel but have been convincing themselves that they ought to anyway
I guess that’s The next free thing Bernie will propose. Because FREE!
I never felt obligated or pressured to tell people my vacation plans. Upper middle class people are weird.
Talk about going against the grain: I get the impression that for many people, if it's not thoroughly documented on Facebook or Instagram, the vacation didn't happen. Saves having to talk to people about it, but the pressure to travel and recreate luxuriously and look like you're really, really enjoying it is high these days. Another reason I'm feeling like I dodged a bullet by never having created a FB or Instagram account.
A lotta status symbol gazing and virtue-signalling about vacations.
If you're flying to the South of France, this summer, well, that's exotic and sophisticated.
If you're taking the family on a road trip to Buck Owens' Crystal Palace in Bakersfield during the oppressive July heat, well.......
Also: WaPo article catering to their audience.
Yeah, people go on vacations for status. Remember when Notre Dame burned? For some it was just an excuse to talk about "When I visit Paris..."
Since I don't like traveling, I certainly hope I don't "deserve" a vacation. Sounds more like a sentence to me. "I sentence you to two vacations, with four long flights, a bunch of lines to wait in, and your plants will be dead when you get home." Ugh. No thanks.
"how much sex … whether you travel.
By making these topics private"
Private….? Remind me what that is, again?
Oh, yeah, that was from the 20th century somewhere, right? I'm sure we read about that in high school.
My idea of a vacation is Industrial tourism.
I go to interesting plants, meet interesting people in interesting places.
Expenses are paid plus I get paid. It's been a while since I've taken a vacation I had to pay for.
May get an Australian vacay this summer.
If my wife can get off she comes with me and all it costs is her airfare.
Maybe I'll retire one day. In another 20-30 years.
I'm having too much fun to stop now.
John Henry
One thing I am really kind of sick of though are the cloying little Instagram cuties posing for their boyfriends in gauzy dresses and elaborate hairstyles everywhere, the kind who fix their makeup in line before going into a museum.
See? I couldn’t even leave that comment up and I don’t even know you people.
My idea of a vacation is Industrial tourism.
I go to interesting plants, meet interesting people in interesting places.
I'm reading "Father, Son and Company, Tom Watson's biography. It's pretty good but it strikes me funny how much it is similar to one of my favorite novels, "Sincerely, Willis Wayde. by John P Marquand. Watson was in the Air Corps in the War and began at IBM in the exact period Marquand was writing about.
It is amusing how many of Watson's anecdotes are exactly like Marquand's stories in the novel.
A lot of my vacations were related to medical meetings. Of course I was paying for them.
I'm with the people looking askance at the word "deserve". You might very well deserve a vacation. But maybe you can't really afford it.
I get the impression that for many people, if it's not thoroughly documented on Facebook or Instagram, the vacation didn't happen.
if i mention that i caught trout; people reply:
Pictures or it didn't happen
and i don't think they're all joking
I may have just seen the most Amsterdamy thing ever. It was one of these moorhen type “ducks” swimming up the canal with a tulip in its mouth, probably taking it to build its nest.
Travel is great if you have the time and the means to travel properly. Otherwise, it’s just another form of Hell.
I am the type of person that enjoys a certain amount of alone time. When you are married with a child that comes few and far between. So my husband and son go on two or three guy trips a year (often with uncles, great uncles, and grandfather fishing, camping, and golfing). The first time or two this happened my mother and sister were all over me wanting to get together and do things. So I instituted a rule that when the guys are gone I’m off limits. I love my vacations.
I also think this was a great thing for my son and he learned a lot about how to be a good man.
Meade does look pleased.
People are always asking where you are going on vacation. They're mainly just being friendly and doing the most conventional small talk, but it can get into your head and make you feel that you're supposed to go away on vacation, that you'll be pitied if you don't.
How else can you virtue signal if nobody asks?
The destination question is really a question of scope: what are you taking a vacation FROM?
Your job? Your family? Your city? Your country? Your native language? Your spouse? Your kids?
Correspondingly, how far must you go to be "away" from it?
"The only downside I've experienced from telling people is that it can trigger a conversation about their trip to wherever it is we are going, and their advice about what we should do and see. Ugh. Even worse is when they want to show me their photos of their trip. Nothing worse than sitting through photos of other people's journeys."
I actually love it when people do this. If I think we have a lot in common, their stories have great suggestions. If I think we have nothing in common, they've provided me with a list of places to avoid.
How else can you virtue signal if nobody asks?
I have a hard time with this because I have travelled internationally a lot in my life, and many of the important things that happened to me in my life happened in places that seem exotic, and it seems like I am bragging if I bring up a story that relates to something that we are discussing as friends, so I guess your advice to me is to clam up instead of partaking of the conversation.
If I think we have nothing in common, they've provided me with a list of places to avoid.
Ha! I have a friend who is great at movie recommendations, if she “loved it” I know to avoid it like the plague, even when it’s streaming at no additional charge, and if she “hated it” I know there is a good chance it’s worth watching.
MARVIN
Bob, I thought I made it clear to
you that I'm on vacation.
BOB
I know, but I'm a mess. Worse than
usual.
MARVIN
Bob, if this is an emergency, go to
the emergency room. If not, call Dr.
Harmon and I'm sure he can help you.
BOB
I'd feel better if I just knew where
you were. It's Martha's Vineyard
right?
MARVIN
Bob.
BOB
Couldn't we just talk?
MARVIN
In my office, after Labor Day.
BOB
Fire Island?
MARVIN
Good night, Bob.
it seems like I am bragging if I bring up a story that relates to something that we are discussing as friends, so I guess your advice to me is to clam up instead of partaking of the conversation.
I'm sure there are many ways to tell the story and pass along your wisdom. Sometimes it doesn't matter a bit where you were or how you got there. Other times it's central to the story and the lesson.
What I meant was exchanges like this:
Person 1: I can't meet next week, because I'm going on vacation.
Person 2: OK, should we push the schedule back or just meet the following week?
Person 1: We're going to Mozambique to study endangered ecosystems and help the local people build a basin to catch rainwater! We're using Jeff's miles but have purchased carbon offsets for the full amount of the tickets to reduce the footprint of several of the other passengers! It's our twelfth trip to Africa! It always reminds us how fortunate we are!
Person 2: So... We'll push the deliverables back one week...
Big Mike said...
[people who don't really have the money to travel but have been convincing themselves that they ought to anyway]
I guess that’s The next free thing Bernie will propose. Because FREE!
The greatness of socialism is you never need to propose paying for people's vacations. They spend their own money on luxuries. Then since they're broke we must fund their necessities.
"the effective executive never knows whether they are working or playing. They are always doing both."
Peter Drucker in his classic book The Effective Executive available vua the portal.
Words to live by. Not just for executives.
John Henry
If you are starving, bread and water will do. No need for filet mignon and Dom Perignon.
More words to live by:
Find something you love doing so much you would pay to do it. Then get so good at it that people pay you for doing it. "
Zig ziglar about Gaddabout Gaddis who had the first TV fishing show in the 50s
John Henry
@Kevin,
"We're going to Mozambique to study endangered ecosystems and help the local people build a basin to catch rainwater! We're using Jeff's miles but have purchased carbon offsets for the full amount of the tickets to reduce the footprint of several of the other passengers! It's our twelfth trip to Africa! It always reminds us how fortunate we are!"
Heh -funny and accurate! That's the how the limousine liberals on my block talk.
Just got a neighbor's e-vite about an "International Worker's Day" BBQ on May 1. Something about a holiday that we can "unreservedly" celebrate. I wanna respond with "Fuck those Commies!" but my wife won't let me.
Something about a holiday that we can "unreservedly" celebrate.
You should send them a copy of The Black Book of Communism.
Vacations come in four sizes:
1. Size S: Staycation (day trips).
2. Size M: Road trip (overnights).
3. Size L: Air travel, domestic.
4. Size XL: Air travel, to another continent.
BTW, is there any hoarier (yet apparently still effective) ad message than, "You deserve to buy our product!"
Blogger Bay Area Guy said...
Just got a neighbor's e-vite about an "International Worker's Day" BBQ on May 1. Something about a holiday that we can "unreservedly" celebrate. I wanna respond with "Fuck those Commies!" but my wife won't let me.
I'm entirely with your wife on this one. Here's what you need to do:
RSVP saying that you certainly support the workers and think it is great that they are throwing a party where you can all show your support and raise some consciousness.
Then get yourself a nice new MAGA hat and a TRUMP 2020 T-shirt to wear.
In the meantime, do a bit of homework to make sure you have some current info on the tip of your tongue
However many quarters of 3%+GDP gowth
Ultra low unemployment rate
Especially for blacks and hispanics. (If you can find a low unemployment rate for gays, lesbians and transgenders even better)
Wage growth
More manufacturing moving back to US
Tariffs helping protect US jobs
Keeping illegals out so as not to depress American (and legal immigrant) wages
Peace with NoKo so workers don't get used as cannon fodder
Ditto world peace generally
Mention how President Trump is banging on nukes and how these will eliminate CO2 emissions
And so on.
When they start berating you for being a Trumpista shove all this down their throats asking them all the while "Why are you so anti-worker?"
Sounds like a fun party. So fun, that if you invited me to come along as a guest, I might just fly to wherever you are. It is my kind of party, I would love to go.
Of course, if you bring me you might have to move to another town. But it will be worth it.
John Henry
""The only downside I've experienced from telling people is that it can trigger a conversation about their trip to wherever it is we are going, and their advice about what we should do and see. Ugh. Even worse is when they want to show me their photos of their trip. Nothing worse than sitting through photos of other people's journeys."
I actually love it when people do this. If I think we have a lot in common, their stories have great suggestions. If I think we have nothing in common, they've provided me with a list of places to avoid"
I agree. Some of my best vacation experiences were first scoped out by people of similar tastes whose judgement I trust. Saved a lot of time and money.
I love talking about traveling. I've a pal who researches the joy out of any trip and while I stopped travelling with him long ago I always want to know what he's learned and experienced. Most skiers and sailors love to recount their adventures. Or is it just me? Is it a starvation sailing in local waters?
Staycation. Staycation! Still, interesting auto correct.
These articles which purport to tell you what you deserve, how you should act, etc, bring to mind the Cherry Valley Elementary School We denigrate cheetahs! Code of Conduct.
"Stay out of ditches, off the hillside, away from puddles."
Or like cigarette lighters wisely advise, "Keep away from children".
I can afford away vacations. I prefer staycations. Then again, I travel for work.
The way I look at it, for every 5 years I don't take expensive vacations, I have one less year to work before I retire. Whenever I see these vacation package ads on TV, I think to myself, "Yeah that's fun, until it's over and you have to come back home and work your ass off for another year to pay for it." I have the same enthusiasm about Fridays, for every single one, there's a Monday coming right up. The only Friday/vacation that I care about is that one in the near future where I leave work and never go back.
People are always asking where you are going on vacation. They're mainly just being friendly and doing the most conventional small talk,
I have NEVER had anyone ask where we were going on vacation. Never.
We might offer some information, IF we think it is relevant to the interests of the people we are with....such as we plan to go to Hot August Nites this year and they are also in our car club. They might be interested or even going themselves. OR if we are asking them to feed our pets, water our plants or something.
Otherwise.
1. It isn't anyone's business.
2. People don't care about this, where we may or may not be going
3. I don't want people to know we aren't at home. Hey...come and rob us would you?
3. We are self employed and a vacation? WTF is that?
They're mainly just being friendly and doing the most conventional small talk, but it can get into your head and make you feel that you're supposed to go away on vacation, that you'll be pitied if you don't. So keep it to yourself. Just like you don't freely dish out info on how much sex you're having, you don't need to tell everyone whether or not you travel.
By making these topics private, you'll have a better chance of doing what you really want to do.
------------------------------
I don't know about this advice for single people.
If you keep it all private, how are you going to meet someone for sex?
Go looking when you're ... "on vacation"? *wink wink*
I'd like to hear others' advice.
(But glad this workes for you!)
Staycation? ... lulz... That was an Obama economy idea. Staycations and funemployment, because the new normal was for American citizens to be too broke to go anywhere, cause of all those jobs that were never coming back. Until Trump. Lowest unemployment rate in 50 years, record Dow, record minority employment... Fuck you, Obama.
Just got a neighbor's e-vite about an "International Worker's Day" BBQ on May 1. Something about a holiday that we can "unreservedly" celebrate. I wanna respond with "Fuck those Commies!" but my wife won't let me.
Oh I used to live in the Bay Area. Much better to go, enjoy the BBQ, and amuse yourself by asking everyone how their 401(k) and stock options are doing.
Just to see if anyone, anyone at all, makes the connection...
Just let 'em frolic around the maypole already, Kevin.
Celebrate workers and fertility and spring. How hard can it be?
"Where are you going on vacation?"
"Don't know yet. Let you know where I've been when I get back..."
Straycations.
Best. Vacations. Evah~!
I understand that in France the poor get a government vacation, but everyone takes vacation in August. I hate unbalanced loading.
I've always enjoyed Laycations. Cialis, a couple bottles of wine, a trip to the local seafood market, some work in the kitchen, and you can have one for under $150.
--Rt1Rebel
I can afford to travel--but I hate to travel, especially by air. Airline deregulation and the new security requirements after 9-11 have ruined air travel for me. Airliners are now like flying cattle cars.
My idea of a decent vacation is a weekend getaway at some resort that I can drive to with my own car.
@The Cracker Emcee Refulgent: that is awesome, seriously, just not my experience. Journeys to me are so personal, the experience is unique and usually ill captured in amateur photos and descriptions, that they just don't resonate in the retelling. I've done a lot of ocean sailing, racing and cruising, in lots of heavy weather and sea conditions. Communicating the experience as shared by the crew is very difficult, if not impossible.
I suppose I'm just too much of a curmudgeon to get any value out of your description of your experience.
I have NEVER had anyone ask where we were going on vacation. Never.
There is a crowd of "keep up with the Jones's" that always have to pose their vacation, each trying to outdo each other. I recall a few recent scandals of photoshopped vacations by those who didn't have the time and money to impress their fake society friends.
I had the luxury of wealthy parents, so I got all that bullshit out of my system at an early age. But consider yourself blessed that you don't exist in that raw hell. It's the worst of Orange County Housewives. But the husbands are trapped in it too.
In all my life, no liberty has been more precious than the freedom to tell a group of people to go fuck themselves.
Socialites are enslaved and don't have that option, they care so much about their status and what other people think that they lead the most miserable lives, surrounded by fake smiles.
sorry, didn't mean to preach to you. I'm in a zone. ;)
Just heard my Peggy say "Hail Hydra!"
No one ever asked myself or my husband, but at gatherings it is awkward when you don't travel. Even if it just something a few hours away in the mountains/beach.
Travel is hard when you're a family more of than four.
You can see why people say kids are expensive, if a couple still wants to maintain a way of life with children.
Also travel is more possible if you have active baby boomer grandparents. I see couples in their early 70s taking their grandkids to places or having their grandkids for an entire week so the parents can go to Aruba. If you got a grandparent in a nursing home/home bound with high medical needs there's that as well.
I say I don't like to travel, but maybe I just say it to make myself feel better.
I hate that the local places, where families would camp/rent a cottage have become so expensive. A camp/cottage at the lake/beach is no longer in reach for many. Everything has been remodel to push for a higher market, now a 1 bedroom condo at the same beach can cost over 300k to purchase.
We made our choices with what we have. I think my choices are a better investment, than vacations for my children. I hope I am right.
LOL. John Henry and I think alike.
My idea of a vacation is a full tank of gas a fly rod, my waders and vest. Head out nd hit some water in Wisc. or Mich.
My wifes Idea of a vacation is Paris. The original one.I don't like to fly either.
Right up the alley of many folks here.
https://youtu.be/SZgIk2b68gQ
Rusty at 8:49: you do understand that you can go trout / bass / tench fishing around Paris, while your wife ostensibly shops. (Look up Les Etangs at Ville D'Avray. Get a local license.)
Odd staycation sort of thing: Breaking out my passport to visit Nashville, TN, while my French Friends are visiting. They're big on line dancing (a major thing over there). I've not been overseas in nearly five years, now.
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