February 7, 2019

"Ok then. My day has started. I just need to go read the article on the Delta airline napkin thing and I'll get out of bed."

That's the top-rated comment on "A Florida politician allegedly made a habit of licking men’s faces. She has now resigned" (WaPo).

I had not noticed "the Delta airline napkin thing," but I looked it up. Here" "Delta nudged passengers to slip their number to their ‘plane crush’ on napkins. Now the airline is sorry." (WaPo).
Falling in love on an airplane is the kind of story you only ever hear in a bar or see in a Lifetime movie. But for a brief time this winter, Delta Air Lines wanted to help passengers make it a reality — by gently nudging them to hit on other passengers. With cocktail napkins.

“Be a little old school,” said the small print on the napkin, advertising Diet Coke. “Write down your number & give it to your plane crush. You never know ...” There was a little space on the napkin where flirtatious passengers could write down their name and another space for their number. The larger print said, “because you’re on a plane full of interesting people and hey,” again, “... you never know.”...

69 comments:

Drago said...

This will never really "take off" since the dems Green Delusion...er..."Plan" calls for the phasing out of all air travel in 10 years.

To be replaced by, uh, like, super and really fast trains...and stuff.

And the above....IS....LITERALLY.....NOT.....A.....JOKE.......

tcrosse said...

As if the airplane bathrooms aren't busy enough.

Danno said...

I read that Coca-Cola was in on it with Delta as they must subsidize the napkins for their prominent advertisement of their logo on these napkins.

Meade said...

I knew a dog who did that. We called her “Licky”. She’d sneak licks of your arm or neck. But she was a dog so not as creepy. Still.

Ficta said...

Delta tries to be more like Southwest... and it goes about as well as those few years in the 1990s when Vegas tried to be Disney.

Nonapod said...

The WaPoo website won't let me view the story, which is a bummer since I do enjoy salacious story. Maybe she's one of those "furries" who is role playing a dog? Alas, I shall never know.

Leland said...

I guess Delta had to do something to make up for the lost NRA revenue.

Meade said...

I call Joe Biden “Licky” too come to think about it.

Limited blogger said...

Hi, Libra in 13C

The Bergall said...

"full of interesting people"....................

I'll say.

Reminds me of an old joke. "We have live entertainment every night, come on in and you may be it".

tcrosse said...

"full of interesting people"....................

None of them Sylvia Kristel (obscure cultural reference).

Bay Area Guy said...

Nancy Oakley, A City Commissioner in Madeira Beach, FLa, as described by the WaPost:

Using expletives, she demanded McGrady, who was supposed to be acting as deputy city clerk and taking the minutes, be removed. Then, after the otherwise low-key meeting concluded, Oakley walked up to Crawford again. She allegedly licked his neck and the side of his face, slowly working her way up from his Adam’s apple, and groped him by grabbing at his crotch and buttocks.

The WaPost is not Laslo.

Meade said...

Teach women (and Joe Biden) not to lick.

Lucid-Ideas said...

To the cutie in 22A,

You were so hot I kept my tray-table down the whole flight even when they asked me to stow it...if you know what I mean.

Call me.

bagoh20 said...

You have to have a pretty high opinion of your attractiveness to lick a stranger. I'm not even sure there is that level of attractiveness. It's like guys who send dick pics. You think it looks that good huh?

CJinPA said...

I'm sure 90% of the male passengers end up giving their napkin number to the flight attendants.

bagoh20 said...

I was on a cross country flight once where a young 20 something couple met in the row behind me, and went from introductory conversation to kissing to full on petting during the flight. It was pretty clear they were just getting started. I heard the whole thing happen. They were not trying to be discreet.

Leland said...

Dear 2B,

If this was an outbound leg for you, I got another leg back if you catch my drift. If you need a gold digger, let 23E show you a good time.

walter said...

Sounds like an idea Richard Branson wrote on a napkin.

Unknown said...

Hey, you never know... looks like an invitation to join the mile high club.

Drago said...

Meade: "Teach women (and Joe Biden) not to lick."

If Biden is smart (Spoiler: he isn't), he would immediately commence preparations to identify as a woman....and a lesbian.

Clyde said...

The men just couldn't hold their licker.

Lucid-Ideas said...

How many licks does it take a woman to get front-and-center on WAPO about unwanted licks of the face.

Apparently more than one. The world almost never knew.

Drago said...

walter: "Sounds like an idea Richard Branson wrote on a napkin."

Right after Branson wrote (on a napkin for another traveler): Hey, I own an Airline, and an Island. Care to snuggle?

D 2 said...

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
And don't lick the neighbours when I go
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know who'll give me a napkin
Oh baby, I'm a Mile High Ho.....

walter said...

Don't need to wait for an invitation
You gotta live like you're on vacation
There's something sweet you can't buy with money lick it up, lick it up
It's all you need, so believe me honey
It ain't a crime to be good to yourself
Lick it up, lick it up, ooh yeah it's only right now
Lick it up, lick it up, ooh yeah
Lick it up, lick it up, ooh yeah, come on, come on
Lick it up, lick it up, ooh uh

Henry said...

Someone needs to lick off the shoe polish.

Meade said...

I like good dogs but I love good doggerel.

walter said...

(Giving props to an obscure Pat Boone B-side.)

Bob Boyd said...

If you get caught in blackface, claim shoe polish is a deterrent against unsolicited face licking.

YoungHegelian said...

Maybe the chick in Florida was a Captain Beefheart fan.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

A Florida politician allegedly made a habit of licking men’s faces

Anybody have her address? I was hoping to pass her a napkin with my name and phone number on it...

Meade said...

"If you get caught in blackface, claim shoe polish is a deterrent against unsolicited face licking."

Virginia Is For Lickers.

richlb said...

Hey Blonde in 18F,

I heard you say you could operate the emergency exit in the event of an emergency, but just in case you need a hand, i"m here for you.

Lucid-Ideas said...

A lot of these guys wanted to reciprocate but they didn't have a lick-her license. She was confused when they promptly asked if they could buy her a drink instead of taking their licks like good boys.

Big Mike said...

I’m not gonna waste a free look at a Post online story before the paywall comes crashing down. Do can someone confirm that Ms. Lickshisface is a Dem? That’s the usual assumption when the Post doesn’t identify a misbehaving pol’s party in the headline.

Tomcc said...

Florida woman needs to channel George Costanza: "Was that wrong?".

Henry said...

I'm tired of the casual "hey" as a forced attempt to look informal.

Henry said...

There are no "heys" in writing.

Leland said...

BTW, the Delta airline napkin thing; still not as dumb as the Green New Deal.

rehajm said...

How many licks does it take a woman to get front-and-center on WAPO about unwanted licks of the face.

A-one. A two-hoo. A-three. CRUNCH.

The-ree.

rehajm said...

Fox's Dana Perino says she met her husband on an airplane. No mention of a napkin though...

walter said...

I know, Henry.
It's outrageous.

Lucid-Ideas said...

Hi 2B. You remind me of a young Ruth Bader Ginsburg with cute feet. I'm not weird or anything, I've just been stalking you since I saw you in the airport bar on C concourse in Palo Alto. I figured this long trans-Pacific flight would be the perfect opportunity to get to know you and your adorable tootsies better. No need to find out where I am on the plane...I'll find you. Once again I'm not weird or anything. Hugs and kisses - Your unknown and surprisingly close-by foot fanatic

whitney said...

I don't know why Ann is fixated on the Washington Post but you can Google Florida woman lick and get a Million results where you don't have to pay to read the article. And it's worth doing

Jim at said...

“because you’re on a plane full of interesting people and hey,” again, “... you never know.”...

Um, no. I'm stuck in a metal tube - with a bunch of other cattle - 35,000 feet in the air and have been counting the seconds to touchdown from the moment we pushed away from the gate.

Lucid-Ideas said...

Delta, the old school thing to do would be to have the stewardesses practically moonlight as prostitutes. Haven't you ever heard of "coffee, tea or me"?

Now that's old school! Mad Men old school. That's how you build brand loyalty! Take a page from an era when men were men and women took notes.

mockturtle said...

As if the airplane bathrooms aren't busy enough.

Thread winner: tcrosse

Unknown said...

Who could possibly think this was a good idea in this day and age? If anyone were stupid enough to do it, I'd bet a picture of the napkin, with phone number unredacted, would be on Twitter seconds after the plane touched down. (Or sooner - does anyone obey the "no electronic devices" warnings?)

PM said...

"Hi you in 23C. Put your fucking seat-back up."

mockturtle said...

"Hi you in 23C. Put your fucking seat-back up."

That's more likely. Or, "To the guy in 22B: If you must break wind, please do so in the restroom."

walter said...

Might be related to or a fan of Andy Dick.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/rambling-reporter/andy-dick-keeps-licking-just-his-thing-1086615

madAsHell said...

You were so hot I kept my tray-table down the whole flight

You can hide yours behind a tray-table?!?!

Rick.T. said...

I've been flying SWA a lot the last few weeks on business. I cannot imagine a less likely place to ignite a romantic relationship. BUT then again I'm not in my 20's anymore.

walter said...

Drago,
Stuff like the air travel and cowfart embargo stuff is a gift.
Far better than some deceptively moderate looking approach.
Don't look the gift horse in the mouth ;)

Bob Boyd said...

Would it be like a huge no-no to put shoe polish on your dick? Like, you know, Blackdick? What about if it was just for a Halloween party? Not like for a formal occasion or for work or anything? Can any of you lawyers or finishing school grads shed any light on this? I can't be the only one who has questions.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

Diet Coke is NOT OK!

walter said...

Bob,I think it depends whether you keep it your little secret..

Big Mike said...

You were so hot I kept my tray-table down the whole flight

@madashell, @Lucid-ideas, you guys could get your tray tables down?

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

duty-free licker ?

Rick said...

Virginia Is For Lickers.

Damn you autocorrect.


Would it be like a huge no-no to put shoe polish on your dick? Like, you know, Blackdick? What about if it was just for a Halloween party?

It's ok if it's flavored.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

I'm stuck in a metal tube - with a bunch of other cattle
Stuff like the air travel and cowfart embargo stuff is a gift.

putting it that way, air travel cowfart embargoes are definitely a gift!

walter said...

At which point it becomes, as James Brown sang, a licking stick.
Or not:
https://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/licking-stick-james-brown-mcbride-humanities-festival/Content?oid=21877533

chillblaine said...

pwnd

chillblaine said...

Licky. Here, Licky! Come on and lick this hot dog. No teeth. Enjoy! Thanks Licky, that's a good boy or girl, etc.

pwnd

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

shoe polish on your dick? Like, you know, Blackdick?

you wont be convincing with just the color.

Try the "Imperial Grand Wizard" route-- wrap it in a hanky and wear plaid pants

FullMoon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rehajm said...

See her pic? She should have been arrested for public ugly.

The Skipper, Alan Hale Jr.

William said...

I'm just grateful if no one in my row is morbidly obese.