January 30, 2019

"The 72-year-old retired optometrist claims that [Gwyneth] Paltrow, 46, was 'skiing out of control' when she hit him from behind, 'knocking him down hard, knocking him out'..."

"Instead of staying to help, 'Paltrow got up, turned and skied away, leaving Sanderson stunned, lying in the snow, seriously injured,' the lawsuit said, describing the incident as a 'hit-and-run ski crash.'...  [According to the plaintiff, Terry Sanderson, there were] large signs as 'big as two refrigerators' that told skiers to slow down...  he decreased his speed appropriately and was 'just enjoying the day.' 'Then, I heard this hysterical scream like you never hear on a ski run,' he said. 'Never have I heard it in my life . . . like King Kong came out of the jungle or something.'"

Paltrow is white, so Sanderson can get away with saying "like King Kong came out of the jungle."

The story appears in WaPo, with the headline "'My brain felt like I’d been injected with novocaine’: Gwyneth Paltrow sued for alleged skiing 'hit-and-run.'"

The headline made me think the quote came from Paltrow. I thought that injected-with-novocaine feeling was Paltrow's reaction to getting accused of doing something wrong. But it's Sanderson: "My ribs were really sore, and my brain felt like I’d been injected with novocaine... It was just numb, nothing was making sense."

91 comments:

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Paltrow is white, so Sanderson can get away with saying "like King Kong came out of the jungle."

Holy shit; really?! I don't think black people, or any people at all, when I hear the phrase King Kong. O_o

Birkel said...

Rub some goop on it.

rcocean said...

Ski-ing while Gwyneth.

This is the reason why I rarely ski anymore and let my wife do it alone. I spent too much time worrying about other people hitting me.

The slopes have become too crowded.

Birkel said...

No Pants,
I think of a giant anaconda ripped in half.
To each their own.

rhhardin said...

You'd think air bags would have deployed and softened the blow.

rhhardin said...

Black people look like monkeys so you can't mention monkeys around black people.

tim maguire said...

Unless he can show some kind of recklessness, I don't see the case. Skiing is a dangerous sport, with a fair amount of assumed risk. Skiing away might have been a jerk move, but I don't see how that's actionable either.

What, exactly, is his claim?

rhhardin said...

I don't get the stereotype. Monkeys don't eat fried chicken or watermelon.

Bob Boyd said...

She'd built up a pretty good head of steam by the time she hit him.

MikeR said...

If there's video we can check if she smirked.

Dave Begley said...

Deep Pocket defendant with a ditzy manner. Jackpot!!

gspencer said...

If she was gonna be reckless on skis the least she could have done is acted (she's an actress I hear) like a Kennedy and skied into a tree and died,

https://www.nytimes.com/1998/01/02/us/favorite-game-for-kennedys-took-deadly-turn-on-slopes.html

rhhardin said...

Paltrow is always confused so you can't sue her for your being confused.

mccullough said...

Paltrow weighs 105 pounds soaking wet. King Kong? What bullshit.

No way she hit this guy hard enough without hurting herself. I’m guessing she cut him off at most. Skiiing has some danger. Open your eyes next time.





Fernandinande said...

when I hear the phrase King Kong

I usually think of Hong Kong, then I think of the setup they made to film the 193x version, which isn't shown in the article below...

"Kong modelers would streamline the armature's torso to minimize the comical and awkward aspects of the gorilla's physique." Ha ha comical gorilla.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Hey Mr. Hardin, King Kong was a giant ape and monkeys aren't apes. Look, I can do dry humor strikethrough pointless ELI5 expository commenting too.

Rob said...

“Paltrow was screaming like she had a rock up her hoo-hah.”

Laslo Spatula said...

Gwyneth hit him so hard she knocked the steam out of his vagina.

I am Laslo.

Wince said...

The stop-motion animation puppetry of the original King Kong (1933) necessitated that Fay Wray’s screams be overdubbed to make her doll in Kong’s hand seem alive.

From there it became part of the Kong trademark.

tim maguire said...

mccullough said...
Paltrow weighs 105 pounds soaking wet. King Kong? What bullshit.


Well that's just dumb. 105 lbs going 20 miles an hour on slippery ground can do all sorts of damage.

No way she hit this guy hard enough without hurting herself.

She's fairly young, he is not.

jim said...

Like he ^ said, and isn't that one of the chances you take when skiing with lots of people around.

J. Farmer said...

For what it's worth, my favorite King Kong was the 1976 film starring Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin, and Jessica Lange.


p.s. I loved Grodin as a comedic actor; Midnight Run was fantastic. But does anyone remember when he had that godawful CNBC talk show?

Ambrose said...

Basic rule of skiing is that it is your responsibility to avoid people below you - and you stay and help after an accident. Of course as lawyers know, you cannot accept a plaintiff's complaint alone as an unbiased - or even accurate - recitation of all facts.

BarrySanders20 said...

She ran him over and just left him there. He says.

Is that female privilege?
Hollywood privilege?
Blonde chick privilege?
Steamed vag privilege?
Or the ultimate in privileged intersectionslity: blonde female Hollywood steamed vag privilege?

RBE said...

Ambrose has it right. I would imagine in a slow zone there would be plenty of witnesses.

Jaq said...

As he came to, he could not lose the image of dollar signs floating in his eyes.

Lucid-Ideas said...

Even at 46, Gwyneth Paltrow is still a knockout. She doesn't need saving from King Kong, she simply plays "Knockout King" with powerful strokes of her ski-bum.

donald said...

David Begley just answered your question Mr Maguire.

Wince said...

I wonder if this 72 year-old optometrist at the last minute simply thought better of using the old expression “like a raped ape”?

http://www.wordorigins.org/index.php/forums/viewthread/309/

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jaq said...

From his description, it sounds like she knocked the smeg out of his cunt.

Kevin said...

Ugh, I forgot/blocked from my mind that Naomi Watts was wasted in that horrifically bad King Kong. She was so amazing in Mulholland Dr.

Henry said...

If Paltrow was playing Fae Wray, who was playing King Kong?

Fernandinande said...

"Fay Wray herself provided all of her character's screams in a single recording session."

Wince said...

Ambrose said...
Of course as lawyers know, you cannot accept a plaintiff's complaint alone as an unbiased - or even accurate - recitation of all facts.

Actually, at the time of a summary judgment motion, that’s exactly what the court does.

Laslo Spatula said...

"For what it's worth, my favorite King Kong was the 1976 film starring Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin, and Jessica Lange."

I have fond memories of that.

Dino de Laurentis made a big deal about his making a full-size robot Kong for the film. The robot then shows up in about ten seconds of film, stiffly moving a piece of it's destroyed cage up-and-down. Pretty much a robot elbow, really.

And how can you not have a tinge of melancholy with the memory of Kong atop the World Trade Center?

I am Laslo.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

I don’t know, getting hit by Gwyneth Paltrow, if there are any men on the jury he might have to pay her for the privilege, but less than if she had stayed.

Nonapod said...

Accordning to IMDB they're making a new Godzilla versus King Kong movie in 2020. But unlike the 1962 one, it's not being made in Japan by Toho but is being made in Hollywood, continuing the silly trend of Westernized kaiju films.

Fernandinande said...

Fay Wray also screamed in "Dr. X", which was filmed on two-color emulsions and had very nifty "blues", and Humphrey Bogart played a crazy Dr. in "The Return of Dr. X".

Jaq said...

Who would not be mad that he missed the chance to have Paltrow fawning over his splayed body with a concerned look in her eye? It was his right!

But sure, she's guilty of skiing on a slope beyond her abilities while rich. Pay up honey, but spare me the concern for this guy. Of he cannot take the danger, ski the bunny slope. It could just as easily been someone not worth suing that hit you. Go on a golf course, you could get killed by an errant ball.

robother said...

Couldn't have been Paltrow: she wasn't even in King Kong. What do we know of the whereabouts of Naomi Watts on that date?

rcocean said...

Yeah, if that 72 y/o Optometrist had been a REAL MAN, even a small one, he would've shrugged off getting hit from behind by a 105 lbs woman going 20 MPH.

Hell, a REAL MAN, would've known she was coming and jumped six feet in the air, avoiding the whole thing.

Its like that pussy Sen. Paul who got tackled from behind and put in the hospital. A REAL MAN would've just walked it off.

Earnest Prole said...

Paltrow’s lawyer alleges she was the one downhill.

Lucien said...

Ski runs are one of the last places that assumption of risk still works as a defense (for the owner/operator at least.)

Left Bank of the Charles said...

Having Gwyneth Paltrow wait by your side until help arrives has got to be worth at least $250K. More than your average 72-year-old man can afford. As fast as his actual case, I imagine she’s going to have an obeying the instructions of my ski instructor defense.

BarrySanders20 said...

mccullough said...
Open your eyes next time.

That's just what the retired optometrist said to his non-compliant patients all those years.

tim in vermont said...
As he came to, he could not lose the image of dollar signs floating in his eyes.

Sad that the retired optometrist has floaters.

Jaq said...

A real man would accept that he had chosen to spend the day doing something not completely free of danger and not whined like a pussy about it.

rehajm said...

If we're scoring the Paltrow/steam/vagina jokes the British judge hss it for Bob Boyd.

bonkti said...

Unconscious uncoupling.

Fernandinande said...

Black people look like monkeys so you can't mention monkeys around black people.

The white faced capuchin looks a LOT like a caucasian homosexual Canadian serial murderer of homosexual immigrants of color, some of whom are very slightly ape-like.

Jaq said...

The “King Kong scream” complaint? That doesn’t seem unmanly to anybody?

tommyesq said...

Skiers Code of Responsibility states :

Always stay in control, and be able to stop or avoid other people or objects;
People ahead of you have the right of way. It is your responsibility to avoid them;
You must not stop where you obstruct a trail, or where you are not visible from above;
Whenever starting downhill or merging into a trail, look uphill and yield to others.

Skiiers have been sued, and found liable, for violation of these rules, although the standard - negligence v..recklessness - varies from state to state.

Note that two of these place responsibilities on the down-hill skiier.

William said...

The 48 hr rule should be in effect. We have not heard Gwyneth's side of the story.....,The problem with the 48 hr rule is that most stories don't have enough inherent interest to last 48 hours. Who will care about this tomorrow?.........This would have been a so much more durable story if there were MAGA hats involved.

Freder Frederson said...

Unless he can show some kind of recklessness

At all ski areas, there is a code of conduct. The first cardinal rule is "always ski in control". The second is that you are responsible for avoiding slower skiers in front of you. Violating those rules in a way that harms others is certainly the basis of a civil, or even criminal, suit. A skier at Vail was convicted of negligent homicide a few years for just such an accident that killed someone.

Bob Boyd said...

Maybe the optometrist heard himself shriek just prior to impact.

He's also hoping to recover the cost of steam cleaning his long johns.

Paul said...

Oh no... a ski and run attack! Paltrow is a bad bad girl!

tcrosse said...

Won't Mom be proud.

tommyesq said...

Can't access the article - paywall - can anyone tell me how he knew it was Paltrow if he was hit from behind and knocked out?

Bob Boyd said...

"can anyone tell me how he knew it was Paltrow"

I have the same question for the same reason.

Freder Frederson said...

Can't access the article - paywall - can anyone tell me how he knew it was Paltrow if he was hit from behind and knocked out?

Probably from other witnesses to the accident who had the decency to stop and help him.

BarrySanders20 said...

"can anyone tell me how he knew it was Paltrow

I have the same question for the same reason.”

They tracked the vapor trail.

William said...

Fay Wray did it first. I don't know if she did it best, but she was the innovator and justly deserves the most lasting fame. Jessica Lange was the best looking, but I don't think there was any real chemistry between her and Kong. Naomi Watts, if you ask me, was a little too flirtatious with Kong. A lady should show a little more reserve when being courted by a giant ape. It's difficult to project just the right mixture of terror and affection when you're costarring with Kong. Kong is kind of hammy and his love interest has to scream a lot to establish her presence.

Jaq said...

Oh she’s responsible, she should pay him something commensurate to the terrible suffering he has endured, up to and including the memory of that King Kong scream. I mean, the poor man was traumatized by that scream. It’s given him PTSD. He can’t sleep for hearing it echo in his ears, between that and the dollar signs in his eyes, it’s a living nightmare.

Ambrose said...

EDH said...
"Ambrose said...
Of course as lawyers know, you cannot accept a plaintiff's complaint alone as an unbiased - or even accurate - recitation of all facts.

Actually, at the time of a summary judgment motion, that’s exactly what the court does."

Wrong, wrong, wrong. In a summary judgment phase, a court ASSSUMES all facts alleged by the plaintiff are true for the SOLE purpose of concluding whether those facts if true state a valid claim. If they find yes, the plaintiff still has to prove the facts in court to prevail. There is no finding of veracity.

tommyesq said...

"Wrong, wrong, wrong. In a summary judgment phase, a court ASSSUMES all facts alleged by the plaintiff are true for the SOLE purpose of concluding whether those facts if true state a valid claim. If they find yes, the plaintiff still has to prove the facts in court to prevail. There is no finding of veracity."

Actually, that is at the motion to dismiss phase, before the defendant has answered. The judge accepts all facts in the complaint as true to see if there is enough there to establish liability, should the plaintiff go on to prove those asserted facts. At summary judgment, the moving party must show that there are no material facts in dispute and that they are entitled to judgment as a matter of law - basically, if you accept what the other side says happened, I win anyways. At that phase, the judge makes all reasonable inferences in favor of the non-moving party.

Ann Althouse said...

"For what it's worth, my favorite King Kong was the 1976 film starring Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin, and Jessica Lange."

I was living in NYC when the call came out for people to be the crowd on the ground at the World Trade Center for that film. We considered going down for that, but decided not to bother.

Ambrose said...

tommyesq - I stand corrected. Thank you. But I think my point is still valid - it often irks me when news reports summarize allegations in a complaints (when filed, after a MTD is granted or after a settlement) as if they were established facts.

Seeing Red said...

In GWTW’s burning of Atlanta, they burnt Kong’s set. You can see the gates and fencing.

BarrySanders20 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tommyesq said...

Ambrose - I agree with your point wholeheartedly - if the last few news cycles have demonstrated anything, it is that the media is not looking at things with any real scrutiny. I tell my kids that there are no real journalists anymore, merely people in the media who repeat anything they are told uncritically.

Trumpit said...

Paltrow is white, so Sanderson can get away with saying "like King Kong came out of the jungle."

I went skiing once, and had no idea how. I was sort of made my way down "Sesame St.," so I took the lift back to the top. I was told that Sesame St. was now closed, so I was shuffled off to another slope. It might as well have been Mt. Everest. I got down to the bottom only injuring myself, thankfully. I was screaming for people to get out of my way, but I don't think they took it seriously. Imagine a car without brakes and you'll get what it was like. I haven't gone skiing since.

Hagar said...

Let us wait for the trial.

Please remember the recent case of Venus Williams' car accident, wherein it became very obvious that the plaintiff was entirely at fault for the accident, but Williams settled anyway, being of a more peaceable disposition than her little sister.

Trumpit said...

Gorillas may look fierce, but they are anything but. The King Kong stigma may have influenced zoo officials to shoot and kill Harambe when a child climbed into the gorilla enclosure. Tragic!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Harambe

Leslie Graves said...

Gwyneth Paltrow has also gotten herself sideways with the unions in West Hollywood over their Measure B.

Big Mike said...

Paltrow weighs 105 pounds soaking wet. King Kong? What bullshit.

No way she hit this guy hard enough without hurting herself.


@mccullough, I guess you’re another person who slept through high school physics class, where I, at least, learned that the energy carried by a moving object (e.g.,an actress on skis) is proportional to the square of its (her) velocity. And by being behind the person she hit, she could brace herself, as he — unwarned — could not.

Mary Beth said...

Paltrow weighs 105 pounds soaking wet. King Kong?

She wasn't being compared to King Kong. Her screaming was being compared to the islanders who lived on Skull Island and what they would sound like if Kong came out of the jungle after them. In the story, the island was in the Indian Ocean, so it probably didn't have many pale, blond people.

Howard said...

It had to be the hard Jade eggs that caused all the damage to the poor man. She must have hit him with the pussy

Howard said...

Kinetic energy equals one half of the mass times the velocity squared dot-dot-dot do the math

Rusty said...


"Paltrow weighs 105 pounds soaking wet. King Kong? What bullshit."

F=MV

J. Farmer said...

I was living in NYC when the call came out for people to be the crowd on the ground at the World Trade Center for that film. We considered going down for that, but decided not to bother.

That would have certainly made my list of amusing cameos. As it stands now, it's just John Derbyshire in Way of the Dragon and Ron Jeremy in Ghostbusters. My parents were in background scenes in Summer Rental, one of John Candy's lesser comedies. And I recall my friends and I riding bikes around what would become the neighborhood set in Edward Scissorhands. Not too many movies are filmed in the area, so it was usually all over local television when they were. I did attempt to be an extra in Magic Mike but failed, though I had actually seen Tatum strip at Club Joy in Tampa back when he was going by Chan Crawford. So anyway, yeah, I hope that old man's okay.

Howard said...

F=Ma

Big difference,Rusty

Darrell said...

How did he know it was Gwynnie?
I assume she was covered head-to-toe in the latest ski fashion and wearing goggles, face mask, and hat. Did she lecture him after the accident? Give him a Goop coupon?

Leland said...

I had a snarky reply for mccullough, but I see Big Mike beat me to it.

I will add that Newtonian physics says both skiers the feel an equal force, but as noted by Big Mike; how that force was absorbed and transferred to the body depends on where exactly it was applied and how the person may have controlled the transfer of energy. But then we are getting into more complicated physics discussion of elastic and inelastic transfer of energy.

In short, Delta V kills, which is why all skiers were given the same warning to slow down.

Rusty said...

Howards right F=Ma

Jaq said...

Let me climb into a Suburban and you hit me with a Fiat. Then we can test your theory about equal reactions.

F=MA, so the bigger the M (him) the smaller the A. She is going to experience more change in speed ( acceleration) due to her smaller mass. Equal and opposite reactions doesn’t mean equal effects. Just equal force. Of course tempered by the considerations Mike noted.

Rory said...

Don't all actresses have to practice King Kong's girlfriend? It's one of the three big roles, right -Lady MacBeth, St. Joan, and KKGF?

andrew_ski said...

Force is not the equation you are looking for. Kinetic Energy = 1/2MV^2. Or one half mass times the velocity squared. Which is the difference between throwing a bullet and shooting it.

chuck said...

SUI? Skiing while under the influence?

Michael The Magnificent said...

Monkeys don't eat fried chicken or watermelon.

Monkey Loves Watermelon

Shaki eat chicken

Not that that means anything. One of my dogs will eat almost anything that hits the kitchen floor, including watermelon, fried chicken, and barbecued ribs. I've never had any collard greens in the house, but it would not surprise me at all if he would eat it.

Jim at said...

The 48 hr rule should be in effect.

On something that allegedly happened three years ago?

My favorite Paltrow scene is the last one in Se7en, so one can figure out what I think of her. However, this whole thing is bullshit.

Three years after the fact? Right.

Joe said...

He was hit from behind. He was knocked out. How the hell does he know who hit him?