October 5, 2018

Shredded.


Via "A 2-year-old shredded $1,060 of his family’s cash. His mom cried — until she laughed" (WaPo). Strangely, these people are better off. They got their cute-kid story in the press. They got offered free football tickets, and:
The Bureau of Engraving and Printing...  has an entire “Mutilated Currency Division,” which is devoted to “redeeming” burned, waterlogged, chemically altered, rodent-chewed or deteriorated money — a free service to the public. It handles approximately 30,000 claims per year, redeeming more than $30 million in mutilated cash, according to its website....
ADDED: When I was a child, my Uncle Henry gave me and my brother a 5-dollar bill for raking his leaves. I took it to my father and asked if he could split it for us. My father took the bill and tore it in half and gave me the 2 halves. That made a huge impression on me at the time, when I had no idea that the money was not destroyed. You always hear about parents who want to teach their kids about "the value of a dollar." My father taught me something else. Not sure what. But he did it with a smile and thought it was pretty damned funny.

AND: I know what it taught. You just have to focus for a second to get it. It's that money isn't that important and don't take everything so seriously. You can have fun with stuff, impishly. Including money, and including language. I did tell him to split it. Sometimes by taking language seriously (i.e., literally), you end up with something funny.

54 comments:

Mr. Majestyk said...

The kid is two and wearing glasses?

rhhardin said...

I was going to say, you can get it back if you can prove it was destroyed. The money is just a ticket, not wealth. The important thing is that nobody else has it, and then they'll replace it.

Psota said...

Where's the "I'm skeptical" tag?

Larry J said...

Mr. Majestyk said...

The kid is two and wearing glasses?


The kid looks older than two. That said, they have eye exams now based on the optics (Retinoscopy) of a person's eye. You don't have to wait until the child is old enough to participate in the exam.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retinoscopy

john said...

I'm with Psota.

Fernandinande said...

Me borrow money to buy game tickets! Me not smart!

Ann Althouse said...

"Where's the "I'm skeptical" tag?"

I'd be skeptical if I began with the tweet, but I began with a WaPo article, and I trust WaPo to make sure this isn't fake. I know. I don't just trust WaPo about everything, but I'm choosing to trust them on this one.

Sydney said...

Not many two year olds can ride a bicycle, even with training wheels. I’m with the skeptics.

officiousintermeddler said...

When you submit a claim to the Mutilated Currency Division, you must include a cover letter that describes how the currency came to be damaged or destroyed. I had a client once who hid $70,000 in his furnace. You know what happened next. I imagine that the employees of the MCD spend their days howling with laughter as they read these letters. But somehow they weighed and tested the ashes and he got more than $69,000 back from them.

MadisonMan said...

We don't own a shredder. We have a bag of to-be-shredded and when companies offer to shred things, we take it in. Why own things like a shredder?

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

Me four. I'm with Psota. It sounds like the family owed grandma money and magically the money disappeared in a "how cute is your grandchildren!" Way.

Nancy said...

Too bad they didn't think of that in "The Unsinkable Molly Brown".

rhhardin said...

The cinnamon I just opened says sell by Nov 06 2004. It seems to be the last one in the cupboard. I bought a lot on sale.

The Crack Emcee said...

Wow. That's cool all around.

Good for them.

tcrosse said...

Presumably George W. Bush shredded the Constitution. Can they fix that?

Gahrie said...

Every year in my Economics and US History classes I rip up $100 bills into four pieces when I am talking about fiat money and intrinsic and extrinsic value. I rip up some Monopoly money first and no one cares...but when I whip out a $100 bill and rip that up that grabs their attention. Then I take the notes to a bank and turn them in for new ones.

Ann Althouse said...

"Not many two year olds can ride a bicycle, even with training wheels. I’m with the skeptics."

I've known a couple. Sometimes a kid with older siblings and a small enough bike lying around just picks it up and rides. It's super-cute!

Pillage Idiot said...

I once laid out ten $20 bills on the dining room table for my wife to give to an exterior contractor. The money disappeared without a trace, yet we were positive that no workmen had come into the house.

About six months later I was playing "store" with my 2 yo daughter. She popped open her little plastic cash register to give me my change - when I noticed $200 of real cash stuffed into one of the slots.

We actually felt better when the mystery was solved.

Pillage Idiot said...

tcrosse said...
"Presumably George W. Bush shredded the Constitution. Can they fix that?"

Yes, there are multiple federal agencies staffed by the "deep state" that would be more than happy to replace the old shredded constitution with a new one.

The new one will be much "improved".

Mike Sylwester said...

I did not have babies of my own, but now my step-daughter has a 15-month-old boy.

I am delighted by him.

However, I did not know how attentively I would have to watch him.

This brat will cause trouble in ten seconds if I look away.

MadisonMan said...

The cinnamon I just opened says sell by Nov 06 2004.

I have liquor and bitters from my Aunt's Dad -- who died in the 60s. I'm not sure if it's still good, I haven't tried it.

(The prices are marked on the bottles in grease pencil)

SayAahh said...

Like Kavanaugh's reputation.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

While kind of "cute", this is a really dumb story.

1. That kid in the photo is not 2yrs. He is probably 4yrs.

2. The parents are stupid and careless. They left money around where a child..or ANYEONE can find it. What else do they just leave for the kids to "play" with. Hope they never own guns.

3. The parents are dumbly unaware too. They left what could be a very dangerous machine available for a small child to play with.

And. No offense to your Dad,whom we all know you love and admire. It was kind of a dick move to tear the money in half.

When the child was offering to share the wealth with her sibling, the Dad destroyed it and laughed in the child's face. As a parent, I would have been proud of the sharing motive and given a short lesson on how to divide $5 into $2.50 with dollars and coins...and praised the children not only on a good job done, but the teamwork too. I probably also would have given a bonus to make the division easier and give each child $3.

But.. everyone parents in a different way and it all worked out well in the end :-)

Tom Grey said...

The tall kid isn't quite riding a "bike", there are no pedals.
In Slovakia lots of kids sit on two wheeled things (plastic horse, hippo, car) and push around with one foot on the ground. When our kids were growing up, I often thought about taking the pedals off of a small bike, but never did -- so I (jealously) notice when kids are on a "balance bike" (wiki helped me with finding name). Regrets. (I've had a few).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balance_bicycle

Toddlers can be on balance bikes.

Am I the only who noticed "seriously" and "literally"?
As in:
Trump's critics don't take him seriously, but do take him literally (and criticize him);
Trump supporters don't take him literally, since we ALL know he exaggerates constantly, but do take him seriously. MAGA - yes!
(Is he ever gonna get money from Congress to build that Wall?)

(Can one mix politics with bikes & toddlers?)
Another thought I often have is to get a Balanced Budget Amendment -- then stop borrowing and print the money to pay back the national debt, while having a progressive wealth tax on housing costing over 30 years of median wage (30 * 60k = 1.8 mill). When the rich buy real estate, a partial-zero sum act (land is limited), they make it tougher for the poor. Just about everything else the rich do with money make it easier for the poor to make money, so returning them the money they've "lent" to the Feds would mostly make the lives of poor folk better.


The rich could even shred it AND burn it and upload a filming of it, if they wanted to...

AllenS said...

That kid is a lot older than 2. So, here's my theory, and if you don't like it, I have others:

The parents sold some drugs and then found out that they were paid with counterfeit money, so they came up with this lame excuse to get some hard cash.

Gabriel said...

I always liked Ann's story. It's like a twist on the story of the judgment of Solomon.

paminwi said...

I used to tear $5.00 in half when I needed my kids to clean their rooms. I'd hide both parts. Once they found the 2 pieces they could be done. I would say most times I got almost the whole room cleaned. And that included vacuuming and dusting. They had to keep going until I gave final approval if they hadn't found the 2 pieces. Then I 'd do the big reveal. Worked for a pretty well for a long time.

DKWalser said...

Well, even a two year old kid knows good money shouldn't be spent of U of U football tickets.

Gabriel said...

@Mr Majestyk:The kid is two and wearing glasses?

I have a cousin who had glasses at two; glasses need not be very expensive these days if you're just nearsighted. You can get prescription glasses online for less than $30. Why not get them for a two year old?

Ambrose said...

When I was about 4 I found a $20 dollar bill on the street walking home after Sunday mass on a windy March day. A $20 was a lot of money back then. Perhaps inspired by where I had just been I felt guilty and so let the bill go into the wind with a prayer to God to let whoever lost it find it. My dad tried without success to chase it down and then had a good laugh. My mom was less amused.

Ralph L said...

Althouse didn't tell us her and her brother's reactions at the time.

Ralph L said...

The glasses could be a disguise. They're oversized.

Ralph L said...

So me and my wife
Road bikes without helmets.

chickelit said...

Your father sounds like a wry sort of guy — this and feeding you kids “Playboy.” I’d like to hear more about him than his taste in music — maybe about his chemistry background which I believe was second generation?

Static Ping said...

They have tours at the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing at Fort Worth. I took it once and it was enjoyable. Only note that you cannot bring your phone or camera inside. They actually have an airlock type area where they purge you of such devices, if you decide to try to smuggle them in, and you actually have to take a tram from the entrance to the actual building. They are not fooling around. Okay, the plate sized novelty nickels are somewhat fooling around.

The tour is actually interesting discussing the history of American currency and the mints. There is an area focused on the Mutilated Currency Division along with stories and samples. The basic rule is if they can recover the head portrait intact then they can replace it with a new bill even if the rest is gone. Some of the true life stories involved people with obvious mental problems treating currency in not recommended ways.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

verrrrrry Solomonic.

...but Schtupid !

California Snow said...

The bicycles is called a balance bike and they don't have pedals. The kids just sits on it like a normal bike but his feet touch the ground and they walk around that way. Eventually they figure out they don't have to have their feet on the ground and they start to balance as their moving. I am told by my brother (who has two for his kids) it helps a lot in teaching kids to ride bikes.

Ann Althouse said...

"And. No offense to your Dad,whom we all know you love and admire. It was kind of a dick move to tear the money in half. "

Speaking of taking language literally, that was his name: Dick!

Ann Althouse said...

"As a parent, I would have been proud of the sharing motive and given a short lesson on how to divide $5 into $2.50 with dollars and coins...and praised the children not only on a good job done, but the teamwork too. I probably also would have given a bonus to make the division easier and give each child $3."

That's so far from the style of my 1950s parents that it's funny. We didn't get any patient, elaborate, slow lessons in anything. I wish I could think of more examples of their style. I do remember when my brother and I asked my mother how babies were made, she said, "You know how men and women are physically built." Verbatim. Entire explanation.

Howard said...

boys will be boys

Ann Althouse said...

And as far as getting praised for getting a math problem or something like that right... I don't think it ever happened. I didn't even get praise for being valedictorian of my high school class. They never said anything like: "I'm proud of you." That kind of stroking and coddling. Did not happen. They didn't encourage us to please them. It was a much more neutral, figure it out for yourself environment.

SayAahh said...

Aha. The birth of neutrality.

Krumhorn said...

In those days, $5 was a meaningful amount of money, and you worked to get it. I’m having a hard time in seeing anything of teaching value in tearing the bill by being a smart ass. Still, if you taped the bill back together, the bank would have replaced it.

Putting coddling aside, It seems mean to me.

- Krumhorn

Bill said...

My father taught me something else. Not sure what.

Cruel neutrality, that's what!

rehajm said...

As your financial advisor I encourage you move farther into the cashless economy. For this reason for starters...

Yancey Ward said...

"They never said anything like: "I'm proud of you." That kind of stroking and coddling. Did not happen. They didn't encourage us to please them. It was a much more neutral, figure it out for yourself environment."

Mine were just like that. No praise at all for success, but consequences if I slacked at school. How did you treat you children in this regard?

mikee said...

When I was in my mid 40s, one of my kids was mixing up some Crystal Light. He added lemonade mix to the pitcher of water, then added grape mix. Looked awful, tasted great. It was a revelation to me that one could mix flavors like that. I am boring.

Ralph L said...

The birth of neutrality.
Now he'd be imprisoned for neglect and abuse.

Not Sure said...

I've searched for mislaid paper items many times, but not once has it occurred to me to "check the shredder."

I like AllenS's theory better than their story.

JohnAnnArbor said...

The Bureau of Engraving and Printing... has an entire “Mutilated Currency Division,” which is devoted to “redeeming” burned, waterlogged, chemically altered, rodent-chewed or deteriorated money — a free service to the public.

Years ago, back when the History Channel did history and the Discovery Channel science and technology, one of them covered money and how it's made. They had a whole segment in the mutilated currency division. A nice older lady showed how she teased apart $20s that she could tell from experience had been ALMOST destroyed by termites. They gather as much as they can to see how many bills are there, then return that value to the citizen. Fire damage would be another issue (in a safe, for instance, that wasn't QUITE fireproof). A cool service.

Also, any paper money issued by the US government is still good. I believe we're the only nation that can say that; many countries have had all sorts of economic problems that led them to "demonetize" currency, leaving holders with nothing.

robother said...

You're looking at this all wrong, Ann. Your father's tearing a Fiver in half permanently scarred you, economically speaking. You coulda been a contender, in the race to Boomer billions, but your father destroyed your motivation. But for that,, this website would've been taken public by now, you and Meade would be rolling in The Big Bucks.

Jim at said...

Well, even a two year old kid knows good money shouldn't be spent of U of U football tickets.

My thoughts exactly.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

Keeping that much cash is stupid. Don't they have cards, or the internet?

Ann Althouse said...

“Your father sounds like a wry sort of guy — this and feeding you kids “Playboy.” I’d like to hear more about him than his taste in music — maybe about his chemistry background which I believe was second generation?”

My father’s father has, I think, an eighth grade education. He worked as a mechanic and with chemicals at the Experimental Station at Dupont. Not sure exactywhat it did other than that it led to his death by emphysema (because he didn’t belin using the respirator).

Both my parents were more unusual than I understood at the time. They met in the Army. I guess I’d have to write a memoir to really explain them even to myself, and I don’t know the whole story.