A quote from — of all people — Dr. Seuss. That's the third-most-like quote at Goodreads on the topic about which people have registered the most "likes" — love.
I got there this morning because I was having a conversation in which I needed to remember the quote, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
I was surprised to see who the quote was from because I thought it was something that Rush Limbaugh says a lot. But why was I surprised? I blogged about that quote just 4 years ago. It's a quote about remembering and forgetting, and I keep remembering the quote and forgetting who said it.
IN THE COMMENTS: Bill Peschel said:
Maya Angelou never said it. She didn't even improve upon an existing quote.Bill provides a link to Quote Investigator, which concludes:
It was really said by a Mormon official, Carl W. Buehner, in 1971: "They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel."
There's no evidence Angelou said anything like this.
This commonly happens with quotes. There's even been cases where a phrase as simple as "Elementary, my dear Watson," the seed for which was planted in the original books, improved by William Gillette in his "Sherlock Holmes" play, but the actual direct quote came from, of all people, P.G. Wodehouse in one of his school stories.
In short, never trust quotes from Goodreads or BrainyQuotes.
In conclusion, based on current evidence QI suggests that Carl W. Buehner can be credited with this adage. Many people have used the saying without ascription in the years after 1971. The attribution to Maya Angelou is unsupported at this time.GoodReads is a big website. It often comes up first or close to first when I google something (as I did before writing this post). And here's a misattributed quote that ranks #1 for quotes on the #1 topic! Mental note never to trust GoodReads.
I wonder if Dr. Seuss said "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams," which I blogged because I thought it was so dumb (yet ranked so high).
It's dumb for at least 2 reasons, one of which is indicated by my post title: Your real life could be better than your dreams because you are having bad dreams, and it's possible that your lover is giving you nightmares that are worse than what is actually a bad relationship. The other reason is that the insomnia is a problem that diminishes the quality of your life. It's much better to get a good night's sleep and be in good condition to enjoy the next day with your loved one. It's one thing to stay up late (or even all night) because you're having a great time with someone — perhaps having sex for hours while telling each other the story of your life thus far — but that's not a sustainable love. You need your sleep. And who goes to sleep because they're just eager to dream? The motivation to sleep is that you are tired and you care about feeling good the next day!
Okay, now that I know not to trust Goodreads, I'm checking whether Dr. Seuss is responsible for the idiocy the Goodreads crowds liked so much. Ah! According to this discussion at Wikiquote, there's no evidence that this quote came from Dr. Seuss. Seuss innocent. Goodreads guilty.
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22 comments:
Here's Graham Greene, the anti-Seuss:
[The Ministry of Fear] wasn't the small Ministry ... with limited aims like winning a war or changing a constitution. It was a Ministry as large as life to which all who loved belonged. If one loved one feared.
-- The Ministry of Fear
Reading the quotes about love was very encouraging. And interestingly, the best ones were by Marilyn Monroe. She was quite a good analytic thinker. That was probably what got her assassinated.
"Love is a result of your self-interest in another person."
That's one of the two famous quotes:
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
I see how the quote used by Limbaugh applies to formal politics and emotions.
People forget policy. But they do not forget how politicians made them feel.
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou
That is a bona fide, excellent quote.
I distinctly remember forgetting!!
Maya Angelou never said it. She didn't even improve upon an existing quote.
It was really said by a Mormon official, Carl W. Buehner, in 1971: "They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel."
There's no evidence Angelou said anything like this.
This commonly happens with quotes. There's even been cases where a phrase as simple as "Elementary, my dear Watson," the seed for which was planted in the original books, improved by William Gillette in his "Sherlock Holmes" play, but the actual direct quote came from, of all people, P.G. Wodehouse in one of his school stories.
In short, never trust quotes from Goodreads or BrainyQuotes.
"I am writing this book with half my brain tied behind my back just to make it fair because I have talent on loan from God." -- Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"
Man, those Samoans are a surly bunch
-- Margaret Mead
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
So the assholes bring their own prejudices about you to the relationship and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it.
@Bill Peschel,
Good corrective action.
"They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel."
― Carl Buehner
That is a bona fide, excellent quote.
So the assholes bring their own prejudices about you to the relationship and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it.
I think it means specific actions and words are forgotten and their gut reaction to you is what lingers. Your actions and words will impact how those gut reactions.
I kind of like this because it undermines slick talkers and other bullshitters.
I kind of like this because it undermines slick talkers and other bullshitters.
I don't think so. People are convinced by how the slick-talkers make them feel instead of paying attention to what is actually being said. They just keep selling us the sizzle and never delivering the steak.
People are convinced by how the slick-talkers make them feel instead of paying attention to what is actually being said. They just keep selling us the sizzle and never delivering the steak.
True, but the quote seems to refer to longterm relationships/interactions in which character is revealed, and certainly wasn't referring to politicians.
** I blogged about that quote just 3 years ago. **
?
May 28, 2014 was FOUR years ago. I think.
True, but the quote seems to refer to longterm relationships/interactions in which character is revealed, and certainly wasn't referring to politicians.
But it does fit well, IMO, with the damage BIll Clinton caused for himself and his party in those recent interviews. Reminding people of how he made them feel is not a good thing for him. Conservatives always felt repelled, and Democrats are likely to relive the anger they must have felt at his betrayal. I'm referring specifically to the way he coerced people into supporting his initial lies about the affair, as well as the betrayal that feminists must have felt, but they all sucked it up. Can't be good for them to have those feelings dredged up after all of these years.
@sammy
Thanks. It’s not that I can’t do the math. It’s that I forget what year it is.
"Love is exaggerating the difference between women."
I can't remember where I read this 40 years ago.
"I've forgotten more than you'll ever know" is what the oldies sometimes said to the young' uns, when playfully mixin it up a little.
Later, when I grew up a little, I figured they lifted the line from an old country song, well before my time.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
This is good advice for pick-up artists.
"There's no evidence Angelou said anything like this."
But it's the #1 quote on the #1 page of quotes at Goodreads. Is there no fact-checking of the accuracy of the quotes???
I expect the other knd of dream is meant--the future you see with this person is better than the future you dreamed of before you met them.
Henry, +1 for the Bloom County reference.
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