This has been around since late November, 2017, but I'd never seen it before. Why didn't this go viral?
Dana Nessel is running for Attorney General in Michigan (and the primary is next month):
“Who can you trust most not to show you their penis in a professional setting?” asks Michigan Attorney General candidate Dana Nessel in a recent campaign video. “Is it the candidate who doesn’t have a penis? I’d say so.”...Oh, really? Well, some on the left have a weak sense of humor. She didn't say everyone with a penis will show it to you, only that someone without a penis is 100% safe if your concern is limited to penis-showing — natural, attached-to-the-person-doing-the-showing sort of penis.
Some on the left pointed out that Nessel's bold rhetoric excludes trans people and simplifies sexual assault by assuming that women are never perpetrators. Others criticized her brazen language and reductive use of identity politics as a platform.
Nessel, however, stands her ground: “I'm a former sex crimes prosecutor, so a word that is basic anatomy is not as offensive to me as a word, for instance, that our president used the other day to describe immigration from various countries around the world,” she says, referring to Trump’s recently reported “shithole” comment. “To me, saying the word ‘penis’ is not different than saying ‘arm’ or ‘elbow’ or ‘foot.’”She's tough. She won't back down. And she's funny.
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Tough old cunt.
She's letting it all hang out.
My oh my, our political discourse continues it's upward trajectory. No pun intended. Can we blame Trump for this foul mouthed chick? Or is this ball in Weinstein's court?
I’d hit it.
Of course, there is no guarantee that she won't start waving her vagina around to every Tom, Harry, and Dick.
She clearly needs a visit to Dr. M.
Going after the penis envy vote.
You want an attorney general who doesn't spend a lot of time in the restroom.
A guy can zip in and out.
Then there's attorney general mood swings. You don't want that.
In New Orleans during Mardi Gras parades I understand that women routinely pull up their shirts and show their breasts. Can this woman guarantee she won’t do that?
And this woman is running for AG and that’s her campaign? I could see her using that (maybe) if she was running for State Treasurer or something like that. But AG?
I know less enlightened states elect Supreme Court judges. (Hello Wisconsin!) Can we expect that theme to be used in judicial races?
I still remain shocked more states don’t follow the Nebraska way. Judges are appointed by the Governor and then stand for retention elections. No soft corruption with judicial campaign fundraising.
This is one time I think she can get away with using "his" instead of "their" or "his or Her", but some tranny will probably complain.
Bitch general, they'll call her.
according to Dana's website:
Dana is recognized as one of the premier litigators of LGBTQ issues in Michigan
Dana lives in southeast Michigan with her wife
Is Anyone in the World surprised?
I'm not saying that all lesbians hate men, i'm just saying that She does
“My wife and our two sons spent every weekend going to a protest,” she says. “It could be a protest on the deportation of people in our state, the march for science, marches to defend women's reproductive rights. I mean, I lost track.”
Protests are the new 5ks.
Tranny isn't a factor. It's a penis or not question, not an identify-with question.
Once penises are criminalized only criminals will have penises.
I can't remember now if the Victorians didn't use "limbs", or used it instead of "legs."
I doubt the professor would find it equally compelling if a man’s ad pointed out he’d never miss work due to menstrual cramps.
It would be equally true, however.
Shouldn’t someone file an election campaign complaint against this woman? Dana can be a man’s or women’s name. The former head basketball coach at Creighton was Dana Altman. There is a male movie director with the exact same name. I imagine many Deplorables will vote for this woman thinking she is a man. A man with a penis! Ugh!
Face it. Candidates need better labeling on the ballot. It should read, “Dana (female, white, Democrat).
So, when Dana Nessel has sex with her wife, does she use a fake penis? Inquiring minds want to know.
The defendant stands up and pulls out his dong in court in the premier episode of "LA Law."
He didn't grow up to become Dr M, though he was a sex worker IIRC.
I think I am on to something BIG with my new identity politics ballot labeling. I now see I missed something.
Dana (female, homosexual, white, Democrat).
When MH370 disappeared over the Pacific, the question came up on Imus how long the beacon battery would last.
Since it was a battery question, they referred it to Dagen Mcdowell.
It's not clear, technically speaking, how they got that joke to work.
I'm a former sex crimes prosecutor says Dana. Is that all she did? No murder prosecutor, white color crime prosecutor, robbery prosecutor, burglary prosecutor? Were sex crimes her specialty?
Elbow would be Bill Clinton.
"In a professional setting." Lotta wiggle room there.
that our president used the other day
Days must be different on her planet.
"Who can you trust most not to show you their arm in a professional setting? Is it the candidate who doesn’t have an arm? I’d say so."
So saying "penis" is different then saying "arm".
And she's funny.
"Who can you trust most not to show you their cleavage in a professional setting? Is it the candidate who doesn’t have cleavage? I’d say so."
Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no cleavage"
A: I don't know, but it's got something to do with Trump.
So, when Dana Nessel has sex with her wife, does she use a fake penis?
Zealot lesbians tried to get a national movement started to get rid of dildos shaped like a penis in the 1980s--according to a lesbian friend of mine at the time. She stopped going to meetings of her gay rights group because that's what dominated the conversation at the three meetings she attended. The wanted dildos (and strap-ons) shaped like a corn cob, small forearm and fist, or something similar that people wouldn't call a penis.
Who can you trust not to show you their boobs in a professional setting? Not to wear yoga pants and mini skirts?
Ratio of women showing sexually stimulating body parts relative to men in a professional setting: 100 to 1?
Anyway, feminism is not about introspection and equality, but we knew that.
You know what they say about women who prosecute sex crimes.
Between Chuck and her, pretty soon people are going to start calling Michigan the Shithead State.
"Some on the left pointed out that Nessel's bold rhetoric excludes trans people..."
“My wife...,” she says.
I'm detecting high Clown World quotient here. We need a scale and a unit of measurement.
Thank you, Darrell, that was very informative.
I'm not a regular reader of The Onion but I don't have to be. Truth is stranger than fiction.
shaped like a corn cob, small forearm and fist
Surprised that cigar wasn't on the list.
It didn't go viral because she said "more women, not less" instead of the correct "more women, not fewer".
Also, I think she should've stopped at "I'm a woman, that's not a liability" To add on "that's an asset" is off-putting. Nobody wants to vote for a bragger.
"She's tough. She won't back down. And she's funny."
She's vulgar. She's degrading public discourse. She doesn't have the judgment to be Attorney General.
"She's tough. She won't back down. And she's funny."
"You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like You."
Have they had a big problem with AG's showing the penis in Michigan?
Who can you count on not to show their penis ? You can count them on the penises of one hand.
Why didn't this go viral?
Why am I not 50 points ahead!?
To ask the question is to answer it.
Surprised that cigar wasn't on the list.
That'd be one hell of a cigar if it were an appropriate diameter.
"Who can you trust most not to show you their clitoris in a professional setting? Is it the candidate who doesn’t have a clitoris?"
Q: What do you call a woman with no clitoris?
A: It doesn't matter what you call her, she's not going to come.
(not my fault, I stole it).
The stepfather of an old girlfriend used to say that the only way to make sure you didn't get a girl pregnant was to "keep your pecker in your pocket--or cut it off, just cut it off."
This was well before Lorena Bobbitt.
Ecclesiastes 3 King James Version (KJV)
3 To every thing (including penises) there is a season, and a time to every purpose (including sex) under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; [God, what do you mean by "a time to kill?"]
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; [God, how about a time to fuck?]
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; [God, give me a sign of your existence, or are you a faker like Trump?]
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. [God, war should be axed from your antiquated list - especially thermonuclear war. Are you off your rocker?]
9 Rocket Man is on a suicide mission for himself, and for his regime.
10 My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man. Please leave God out of it.
11. HAMLET
Hear you, sir.
What is the reason that you use me thus?
I loved you ever. But it is no matter.
Let Hercules himself do what he may,
The cat will mew and dog will have his day.
If Nessel were a Republican man, the joke would be, "I don't think we want someone prosecuting sex crimes who literally admitted he can't tell the difference between a cock and an elbow."
Posters would be made with pictures of the candidates of both parties, with the Democrat picture labeled "elbow" and an arrow pointing at the elbow, "arm" and arrow for the arm, and then a circle around the Republican picture and a caption "penis". The posters would be enjoyed by others with posters enjoining us to have respect for the dignity of every one.
Women can never talk about penises enough. It proves their empathy for men!
“To me, saying the word ‘penis’ is not different than saying ‘arm’ or ‘elbow’ or ‘foot.’”
Just don't yell 'Penis' in a crowded theatre.
Althouse; she was counsel for the plaintiffs in DeBoer v. Snyder, which was joined in the Sixth Circuit and then in the Supreme Court with Obergefell v. Hodges.
I have no idea where Darrell steps off, linking me with Dana Nessel; we Michigan Republicans are doing our best to fight the Dana Nessels, and we've been doing a pretty damned good job of it. We own the state senate with a huge majority, the state house with a solid majority, the executive branch, and a 5-2 majority on our state supreme court. In a state where Republicans have a very hard time winning a U.S. Senate seat. Anthony Kennedy is all that stands between us and a victory over Dana Nessel in DeBoer.
tcrosse said...
Just don't yell 'Penis' in a crowded theatre.
Especially don't yell "Wolf Penis!" because people might start thinking of cute wolf puppies.
Yelling "Wolf Arm!" might be OK - I saw them open for the Rock Bottom Remainders.
I have no idea where you step off, either, Chuck. It's certainly not the cliff I've hoped for.
Sebastian said...
Ratio of women showing sexually stimulating body parts relative to men in a professional setting: 100 to 1?
I was about to say, how many men could get away not wearing a tie in court, much less buttoning the top button of their dress shirts mid-thorax?
That is embarrassing.
I imagine there was a brief moment in out past when someone could declare "She's a woman" and the collective responce would be a matter of fact "so?"
We're way past that moment now. Maybe we never had that moment.
(And in a partial retort to Ms. Nessels I guess a male candidate could say "I'm a man and I'll never show you my cleavage.". That probably wouldn't win him any votes.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pw_36yxgXI
I imagine there was a brief moment in out past when someone could declare "She's a woman" and the collective responce would be a matter of fact "so?"
Except when Paul McCartney sang it.
There's the up-the-dress display, as on Fox news. Guys don't do that.
Just because someone doesn't show you their penis doesn't mean they won't fuck you.
I imagine there was a brief moment in out past when someone could declare "She's a woman" and the collective responce would be a matter of fact "so?"
Now the first response would be, "Do you mean a woman-woman?" (Although I suppose that's the wrong way to put it, kind of like saying "rape-rape," but if I tried to use the word "cis" I would probably just get it wrong too.)
Not as good as Joni Ernst’s ad where she talked about castrating hogs, but still funny.
Just watched it (the computer being free of recording duties). The firelace is a classical vagina symbol.
I believe that Nessel needs to post a picture of her full frontal nude, to prove that she isn’t actually a biological male who identifies as female.
The ad is funny in a sophomoric sort of way. The bigger joke would be if she won.
In fact you can trace out the whole vulva in in the fireplace and mantel.
“To me, saying the word ‘penis’ is not different than saying ‘arm’ or ‘elbow’ or ‘foot.’”
Then showing their penis should be no more a problem than showing their arm, elbow, or foot.
People think that's funny? Whatever floats your boat. I guess that's why I'm not an academic: I don't have the right sense of humor for it.
She can trust me.
"Who can count on not to show you their elbow?"
"It's impossible , to touch your elbow to your nose. It's just impossible..."
“To me, saying the word ‘penis’ is not different than saying ‘arm’ or ‘elbow’ or ‘foot.’
If she was Muslim, she could say…
and I won't show you my arm, elbow, or foot either
Beavis-and-Butthead funny, maybe. Interesting how she waved the Transgressive Grammar flag by setting THEIR next to PENIS in the largest type. All she had to do was write “THEIR PENISES” to avoid awkwardness, but (a) she wants you thinking about a specific, singular penis and (b) she wants you to know she’s not a follower of rules. Just what we should all be looking for in an AG. Also, she chose the examples arm, elbow, and foot judiciously (because who could you count on not to show knees in a professional setting?), and the ability to make unsound arguments judiciously is another key qualification for the position she seeks.
Who can you count on not to show us your penis in a business setting?
Damn near all of us.....
Or is she secretly supporting confiscation of all peni?
Or is she secretly supporting confiscation of all peni?
She can pry my penis from my cold, dead hand.
@JAORE, only assault peni, for now.
"She's tough. She won't back down. And she's funny."
Also, not to forget penisless.
She doesn't have a penis but she can get one if she needs one.
The democrat continue to teach me the lesson of not voting for, doing business with or supporting anyone who is not in your tribe.
Far left lesbian and or/ gay is no way to go through life unless you want to be Democrat candidate for public office. Then it is an asset it seems.
And I saw this story when it first was news and it never included the pertinent fact that Nessel is a lesbian.
Who can you count on to not show you their tits?
Me.
cubanbob said...
The ad is funny in a sophomoric sort of way. The bigger joke would be if she won.
Good point.
Michigan's a true purple state. Our (Republican) dominance of state government is in spite of the fact that more people voted for Democrats for Congress, than Republicans. (While our Congressional delegation is 9 to 4 Republican, 9 to 5 if you count Conyers' empty-but-inevitably-Dem seat. Lulz.)
Our last two AG's, over the course of four terms, have been Republicans.
And Michigan voted by more than 60% to enact a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage, that Dana Nessel's lawsuit overturned.
She does not have good name-recognition in Michigan. Her ad was thought to be over-the-top by lots of liberal opinion-makers in the state. She's not any sort of libertarian-style homosexual; she's a hard-left identity politics homosexual. Wearing pearls and a cardigan.
I don't think she is going to win. I pray that she doesn't win; it'd be a disaster for the state. What I worry about, is anti-Trump fervor turning out the vote in places we don't usually see in a midterm, and a Democratic wave sweeping her into office. And I am a bit worried that our candidate, state house speaker Tom Leonard, isn't the campaigner that our last two Republican AG's (Bill Schuette and Mike Cox) have been.
Would it have done violence to PC and the trannies to have said “his penis”?
So it has come to this: Having a penis disqualifies you from holding public office and, perhaps, being a “professional.” So it is intended in the electoral world soon to be dominated by adolescent girls of all ages, where being a lesbian or a bedwetter is easier than dealing with (ugh) men.
Not funny, Althouse.
How many dildos does this woman and her wife own?
Does it make me a bad person to say I bet Dana hates men?
She shouldn't be using 'penis' in the argument.
The argument is who would least likely show their 'sex organs' in a professional setting.
I think the evidence is that both men and women have equal levels of mental illness.
In fact, this candidate is exposing her Type-A mental illness behavior in even constructing the scenario.
What about all those female demonstrators at the University of Texas waving those huge dildos? Women are not 100% safe from committing this offense either.
Yay, misandry. You go girl...I mean woman.
Right. SO who are these pundits etc worrying about an all female ticket?
Unless she's asexual, she is still "qualified" to harass her staff.
I'm wondering how many hetero men she will employ.
Not as good as Joni Ernst’s ad where she talked about castrating hogs, but still funny.
Then there was that interview of Sarah Palin with turkeys being slaughtered in the background.
Flashing below the belt political correctness.
Who can you count on not to spread their butt-cheeks and show their asshole ?
Germans must have a word for it.
For added levity, soundtrack should've been "My Vag"..maybe a little Ellen style dancing.
"What about all those female demonstrators at the University of Texas waving those huge dildos? Women are not 100% safe from committing this offense either."
That's why I wrote "if your concern is limited to penis-showing — natural, attached-to-the-person-doing-the-showing sort of penis."
Dana Nessel
@dananessel
Some people were offended by my last ad. But you know what offends me? The Trump agenda. When I'm Attorney General, I will join with other AGs across the nation to resist. Here's my plan. Help me make it happen! http://dana2018.com #dana2018
I bought my wife a "pee like a man" funnel and she shows it to everyone. She says it is the greatest invention since the catamenial device.
Obviously she could never get elected.
I never knew how women pee'd in a public restroom until I got married. I always assumed women sat on the wonderful seat provided. Nay, nay, you filthy bugger...
Dana Nessel
@dananessel
Mar 28
When I’m Michigan Attorney General, I’ll join with other Democratic Attorneys General to fight back against the hateful, politically-motivated policies of the Trump administration that have very real and very devastating impacts on our communities.
1 reply 1 retweet 5 likes
Show this thread
Dana Nessel
@dananessel
Mar 28
It doesn’t take a demographer to draw a straight line from the anti-immigration policies of this administration to a desire to punish communities that have long welcomed refugees and immigrants.
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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Dana Nessel
@dananessel
Mar 28
The census population counts affect everything from the federal funds our communities receive to the number of representatives we have in Washington, D.C.
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
Catamenial pneumothorax is a condition of air leaking into the pleural space (pneumothorax) occurring in conjunction with menstrual periods (catamenial refers to menstruation), believed to be caused primarily by endometriosis of the pleura (the membrane surrounding the lung).
--
Wow..pre-meno women face this risk every month..
With the Masterpiece Cakeshop case in mind, do you think it’s possible to close the chasm between the LGBTQ community and some religious communities?
Boy, that’s a tough one. We just added to the board of Fair Michigan a woman by the name of Kelle Shepherd and she is also a pastor. I know something that we’re seeking to do is to educate religious communities as much as possible on the importance of accepting LGBTQ people and there are a lot of religious organizations that have changed their views on this over the course of time, right? More times than not, they’ve changed their policies and I think there is room for growth … I’ve seen it, and I’ve seen it happen pretty rapidly.
I do think that we need to continue to work on education as it pertains to religious organizations and religious people of various religious faiths. One of the things that I saw publicly about Patrick Miles was as the chairman of the board for Aquinas College, I know there was that issue where they refused to allow a speaker [Dr. John Corvino] in who wanted to basically say that the belief that homosexuality or being LGBTQ is not inconsistent with Christian faith. They refused to allow him to come in to speak and Patrick Miles supported that decision and to me, that is not furthering the education process. You ought to be able to have a debate and be able to have both sides present on that issue and I think when you stymie education on LGBTQ issues you’re doing a disservice to everyone in the community – whether you’re LGBTQ or an ally, or you’re not – to at least be educated on the issues.
I do think that we need to continue to work on education as it pertains to religious organizations and religious people of various religious faiths.
Perhaps they should be educating you, walter.
Etienne reports: I bought my wife a "pee like a man" funnel and she shows it to everyone. She says it is the greatest invention since the catamenial device.
I've had one for years that I use for hiking. Very convenient.
Who can you count on not to spread their butt-cheeks and show their asshole ?
Germans must have a word for it.
Greeks.
Hey Mock,
quoting Nessel interview.
So easily "triggered" ;)
Thinking about the Swiss Army Knife, I wonder what kind of nifty tools you'd find on a Greek Navy Knife ?
Dingleberry trimmer.
Fut is German slang for pussy. I'm surprised she can't tell the difference between that and a penis. Be careful not to tell a German mein Fut ist wett. You'll get a funny look, so I hear.
Dingleberry trimmer.
I figured a lot of the attachments would deal with Grommet Maintenance.
Well if you don't have one, you can't show it--in a professional setting or otherwise. So there is that.
Grabbing voters with her pussy.
Who can you count on not to flash a penis in a business setting? This is a qualification to be attorney general of Michigan? I was a practicing lawyer (in a business setting) for almost 50 years and never NEVER flashed my penis (you could look it up). So I guess I'm qualified to be the Attorney General of Michigan.
Would I have to live there?
You know what else was funny? The adage about news writing and mini skirts.
That's why I wrote "if your concern is limited to penis-showing — natural, attached-to-the-person-doing-the-showing sort of penis."
Women probably think the penis display is about establishing some gender dominance, when it is far more likely that it is a display behavior regarding the prick attached to the penis's idea of his place in an intra-male hierarchy. Probably why Joe Biden inflicts his on the female Secret Service agents.
95% of men aren't even equipped to go waving a dick around and probably 99.5 aren't equipped to do it like LBJ did. LBJ was establishing his divine right to be top dog as witnessed by the massive phallus God gave him. Plus it probably go him laid a lot.
Women probably think the penis display is about establishing some gender dominance
More like airing one's shortcomings in public [Didn't David Niven make a similar remark when doing the Oscars and a streaker ran by?].
Must be a chick thing because I didn't find her funny either.
Putting women, queers, or minorities in charge of anything is never a good idea.
Yeah Mock, that's your goto. Bash him on his size, because that's the real issue! Women are the best!
When you make jokes like that, you are bashing millions of innocent men because of an accident of birth for a specific guy's actual transgression. No wonder those guys are so often suicidal. Maybe I identity with the small guys too much because of porn, but anyone should be able to see that remarks like that are needlessly cruel and say more about the utterer than the innocent targets of your bile.
TinV,
As a humblebrag, I don't share this anxiety about small penis offensive humor, but I do recognize it, along with Althouse's more universally vexing taste for the castrating style of attack.
Hmm, rape as a reaction to castration. There's a paper in it somewhere...
I mean, you are quite up in mock's tree on this. It was after all a man she was quoting, David Niven. A woman would never be indicted for her ... what?, while streaking, or would she?
Besides, women will always have something to complain about, if it's not too small, it might be too big.
And to attack the size of the penis is perfectly pointless. A small phallus can impregnate a woman as surely as a large one. As for providing satisfaction, it works for the man, 100% of the time almost.
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