A man seeks advice at AskMetafilter.
The first answer is:
My mum used to always tell me, just before I was about to be killed to look down to my hand and see that I was holding a gun/ bucket of sand/ pale [sic] of water - which I could then use to instantly kill/ melt whoever was trying to kill me. It really worked!This is the same method that can work to turn a dream into a lucid dream. If you can get yourself to think to look at your hands, when you see your hands, the dream will become a lucid dream — that is, you will understand that this is a dream and you can choose what to do within the dream world and know that whatever problem you are struggling with is not real.
Ah, yes, the next answer speaks directly of lucid dreaming: "Have you ever been able to turn a dream while dreaming? It involves becoming conscious that you are dreaming, and then deciding where things go next...."
Do any of you have this problem of yelling or screaming out loud into the real world of your bedroom as you face the dream people and animals that attack you? Have you ever called the police because you've got a neighbor with this oddball habit but you really think they're getting murdered?
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62 comments:
For many years I had a recurring dream -- about once a month or so -- that always involved something strange compromising our house -- walls moving, lights flashing, mysterious forces trying to get it in. Sometimes I would wake up shouting. Most times I would bolt out of bed and walk through the house trying to find where it was disintegrating. After a while, I learned to realize, quite quickly, that I was dealing with the dream. Still seemed crazy real. I haven't had that dream in a long time. Probably will have it tonight.
From time to time my wife will scream bloody murder in the middle of the night. This is disturbing enough at home, but it happened once at a hotel. We had to convince the House Dick that it was only a dream.
I've been able to "lucid dream" since I was a child. I thought that it was normal. If dream starts to go wrong, I either rewind it to the part I didn't like and "fix" it or take control and make it do what I want. It can be more work sometimes than it is worth because the dream can be very stubborn.
Often the dreams are more like watching a movie with plots and actors and I am the director. When the plot goes awry, the director says "cut" and play that scene again. Very often the dreams are so amusing to me because I am surprised at the turn of events or laugh at jokes that my head has dreamed up. How can you possibly surprise yourself when it is YOU who is making up the story?
I do have a recurring dream from which I wake up gasping for air. A dream that I cannot seem to "fix". I am in a car (like a 1930-ish sedan). I veer off of a road into a lake and, in slow motion soar off of a low cliff into the lake. The car ends up, upside down in the muck and I can't get out because the windows are buried in the muck. No one knows I am there. I'm gonna die. Wake up, gasping for air. (Probably sleep apnea). I have to get up, walk around, read a book or something to shake it off. To this day I get very nervous when driving near an embankment with a body of water below. It annoys my husband to no end :-)
Ann, I have never been able to do what you are describing. The dreams are too real. It seems as if I am trapped inside them and the only way to change that is to wake up. I will try to do what you are suggesting, looking for your hands, maybe that will help. I do not wake up screaming but I do wake up suddenly when I am threatened.
As an aside, as a teenager I used to suffer from I guess what is called night paralysis. I would wake up and feel as if someone were holding me down and I could not move an inch. For about 30 seconds I could not move until it finally let me go. Very weird feeling.
Shortly after my successful cancer surgery I had dreams about fighting with the devil. I blame the anesthesia.
tcrosse said...
From time to time my wife will scream bloody murder in the middle of the night.
I had a roommate for a brief time before he was married; he would do that.
All I know is he's divorced now.
Not oftsn, maybe 2-3 times a year.
I wake up screaming that a bear, snake, centipedes etc are attacking me.
It seems as real as life until I wake up.
After all these years it still scares the crap out of my wife.
I think she wonders if this is the time I've finally gon Harpic
John Henry
Smells were a big thing for me in my dreams. During the dream and after the dream (made it easier to remember the dream). Yeah, I've been conscious that I was dreaming.
Dust Bunny Queen said: "If dream starts to go wrong, I either rewind it to the part I didn't like and "fix" it or take control and make it do what I want...Often the dreams are more like watching a movie with plots and actors and I am the director. When the plot goes awry, the director says "cut" and play that scene again."
Exactly my experience! It's cool.
But I haven't been able to make it work for the I-forgot-a-whole-semester's-worth-of-homework dream.
Dust Bunny Queen said...
How can you possibly surprise yourself when it is YOU who is making up the story?
Because YOU is a post-hoc construct that doesn't have access to all the facts.
Do any of you have this problem of yelling or screaming out loud into the real world of your bedroom as you face the dream people and animals that attack you?
I've never had this happen, but our dog does a lot of talking ( and a fair bit of running ) in her sleep.
I guess this was inevitable:
Two students set up GoFundMe account to raise money for ammunition to ‘SHOOT UP’ their high school
" I am in a car (like a 1930-ish sedan). I veer off of a road into a lake and, in slow motion soar off of a low cliff into the lake. The car ends up, upside down in the muck and I can't get out because the windows are buried in the muck. No one knows I am there."
Mary Jo Kopechne had that same dream.
More or less.
The Germans have a word for this.
That crafty Austrian guy, who monetized the interpretation of dreams, did say once that civilization starts when we merely yell and curse at an enemy in place of using rocks and clubs to kill him.
He probably learned that from the study of bad dreams.
Are lucid dreamers actually lucid, or are they merely dreaming that they are?
I don't think that anyone has ever shown that dreams not memories constructed while coming out of sleep, as opposed to being something like a movie that plays in your head while you are sleeping.
And if that's the case, a "lucid dream" might very well be the same thing; the dreamer remembers having been lucid, but that memory is constructed post-hoc during the process of awakening.
When I was a little kid, I had nightmares of being chased, usually by a lion or something.
Finally , one time I dreamed that I turned and fought, sort of in desperation.
The nightmares stopped.
I had to learn to fly in my dreams to get away from my murderers. Don't know how to teach that though.
ARM wrote: I guess this was inevitable:
Thank god.
People who broadcast violent madness should be taken seriously.
Do any of you have this problem of yelling or screaming out loud into the real world of your bedroom as you face the dream people and animals that attack you?
No, I realize it is a dream and then make myself wake up. I saw a study that said a large percentage of dreams are "dark" in nature. If I recall correctly it said about 1/3 of what people dream every night is disturbing/frightening. We just don't usually remember it. I have had lucid dreams, though it is pretty hit and miss.
"The Germans Have A Word For That. said...
" I am in a car (like a 1930-ish sedan). I veer off of a road into a lake and, in slow motion soar off of a low cliff into the lake. The car ends up, upside down in the muck and I can't get out because the windows are buried in the muck. No one knows I am there."
Mary Jo Kopechne had that same dream."
No, she knew that Ted Kennedy knew she was there.
As an aside, do you think Ted's brain cancer hurt? I mean a lot?
Finally , one time I dreamed that I turned and fought, sort of in desperation.
The nightmares stopped.
That is taught as a method of controlling nightmares. Try to take control of the dream and face the fear object.
If you really don't want to sleep well tonight go on youtube and watch The Nightmare.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY2gh51KdnQ
Or, if you want something a lot more fun, try Carmen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46JIeRbVlRA
I had a nightmare recently after re-reading "The Color Out of Space". It was pretty disturbing, but I didn't scream.
"I'm no longer scared and can usually go right back to sleep after my girlfriend says, 'There, there, everything's just fine. Hillary's not president. Rest easy.'"
I got the “look at your hands” thing from Carlos Castaneda in high school long ago (along with the “dream journal” thing, and that all worked fine, but I never finished the rest of the programme.
Learned this when I was a kid: Dreams require that you be dissociated from your body. Anything that interferes with that wakes you up. So I used to make one finger move and I would wake from a nightmare. I never had real nightmares after that.
Btw, eyes are different; you can move eyes during a dream, and that's the REM Rapid Eye Movement type of sleep.
I used to make one finger move and I would wake from a nightmare.
I can usually make myself wake up with via force of will. I realize that I'm in a dream and its not going well and I think to myself, "f*** this, I'm waking up." And I do.
I taught myself lucid dreaming as a kid. I read about a technique where you periodically try to make things happen just by willing it (make a trashcan burst into flame, for instance). In real life, nothing happens. In a dream, if it does--hey! I must be dreaming!
Lucid dreaming is fun. But far more often than a fully lucid dream, I reach what I think of as "semi-lucid" dreams. I don't quite clue into the fact that it's a dream, I just know that I can manipulate my environment to suit myself, rearranging geography, changing who is around, altering events that I don't like. That's also entertaining, and good for dealing with nightmares. I just make the nightmare go away.
I have never directed my dreams but when they become too sad or scary I have been able to remind myself that they are just dreams. At that point the dreams start to fall apart. I remember the majority of my dreams.
My husband will laugh and cry in his sleep. The latter is heart wrenching, thankfully it is rare. He never remembers his dreams.
Dust Bunny Queen - That's a sleep apnea dream for sure. I've had sleep apnea since childhood, and an occasional sleep apnea dream for me was that someone was choking me. In our dream state the mind is trying to make sense of what we're experiencing (struggling for air).
I am hardly ever conscious that I'm dreaming. People talk about trying to look at your hand or will something to happen, but even to do that you have to be conscious that you might be dreaming, and I never am.
I have had a couple of instances where I've become aware that I was dreaming and tried to take control of the dream, but I always end up waking up almost immediately after. I figure it must be the fact that I'm beginning to wake up which lets me realize I'm dreaming in the first place.
I've had the same question as Gabriel, though - how do you know you're actually lucid dreaming and aren't just dreaming that you are? Can you really be sure?
I grew up around a lot of cigarette smoke, and after I moved out I'd have dreams about smoking. It sounded really cool! and legal, too! I knew that after I woke up, I'd go get myself some Marlboros. I knew it was a dream. The urge was barely there when I was awake. Same dreams happened when I quit nightclubs. I did eventually try to follow through on smoking, but the habit never took.
Also, I had recurring dreams about some man trying to break into my house. Probably because a couple guys did do that when I was very young. Anyway after I got my first handgun, I had the same dream - but thought but now I have a gun! So for once I wasn't completely helpless. Happy ending!
"I've had the same question as Gabriel, though - how do you know you're actually lucid dreaming and aren't just dreaming that you are? Can you really be sure?"
Does it matter? I want to be able to influence my dreams; it's why I learned how to lucid dream in the first place. Whether it's really happening or I just dreamed it, the experience is the same for me.
I have what I call "Dream Landscapes" where the location(s) are specific and never really change much in how they look. Towns, scenery or buildings that I know I have never been to, but are so realistic and detailed that I wouldn't be surprised to come upon those places and find out that they are real.
When I am dreaming and the dream is in X town or near a landscape, I think somewhere in the back of my mind.."Oh. This place again". The dreams in the dream landscapes are not connected in anyway or have any kind of common theme. They are just there where dreams happen. In the town on a hilly area by a river. The white clapboard buildings in a small midwestern looking town. Hotel that I know where every room is located (except the damned elevator which seems to move around). Industrial college looking buildings. The wharf near the ocean. A street in a touristy type of town with cute shops. (Sometimes I stop the dream and go look inside the shops..I would love to find that town IRL)
The mind is really weird.
I have mostly had control of my dreams for as long as I can remember. Every now and then, though, the dream is so realistic that I do sometimes startle myself awake, but even that is me in the dream more or less saying "Wake up!"
My father screams out and talks in his sleep- my mother tells me this has been the case as long as they have been married. As his dementia has progressed, however, he is no longer able to determine the difference between the dream and reality.
DustBunnyQueen wrote:
When I am dreaming and the dream is in X town or near a landscape, I think somewhere in the back of my mind.."Oh. This place again".
Yes for me, too. The dreams will change, but the "locations" are often the same. I can sometimes figure out from where in my past I got these dreamscapes, but many remain a mystery to me even today.
Mark Jones: Does it matter?
You tell me. If you were to find out for sure that what you thought were lucid dreams were actually still just your subconscious making all those "dream decisions" for you, would you be at all disappointed? If not, then it doesn't matter. If so, then I guess it does.
Reminds me of the joke about the man who can't sleep because he dreams a monster is under the bed.
He goes to a shrink, but finds it too expensive. A bartender finally cures his problem by telling him to just cut off the legs of his bed.
I once had a roommate who had been violently raped when she was a teen. She would occasionally start screaming and crying in the middle of the night. She was reliving the rape. When I tried to wake her up, she would hit me. It took a while for her to wake up. When she finally did, she was tremendously embarrassed and apologetic, although I was very sympathetic and tried to comfort her as best I could.
That was back in the mid '80's. We kept in touch for a long time. About 7 or 8 years ago, I asked her if she still had those dreadful nightmares. She said they had gone away after her marriage.
The recurring nightmare I've had most of my life is that I am trying to run away from a man with a gun or knife, but my legs are like concrete. I'm running very slowly and I can't speed up no matter how hard I try. I don't scream or anything like that, but I do wake with my heart pounding like crazy.
I did have a dream within a dream the other night. I dreamed I went to brunch with my father and brother and the restaurant had a special deal in which you could go SCUBA diving and catch your own lobster and they would cook it for you. Then we spent a lot of time getting ready to SCUBA dive. Then I dreamed I was awake and telling the lobster dream to my best friends who had recently come back from a tropical vacation. Then I really woke up.
It was very inception.
My mother has had regular night terrors for about 10 years. About 5 years ago she was diagnosed with Parkinson's. Perhaps linked.
I started Lexapro several months ago as treatment for chronic depression. Good stuff. An interesting side effect is that while I still dream, I no longer have nightmares. Nightmares are now a complete thing of the past in my dreamscape. Oddest damned thing.
I trained myself as a kid to open my eyes, and therefore wake up, when I recognized the beginning of a recurring nightmare. I rarely remember dreams these days.
I trained myself as a kid to open my eyes, and therefore wake up, when I recognized the beginning of a recurring nightmare.
I did, too. I still remember some dreams.
There have been a few great SF stories starting with this scenario. And a Twilight Zone too IIRC.
"... when I recognized the beginning of a recurring nightmare."
I've had that happen - in the dream I recognize the recurring dream and start trying to change it, rewinding short stretches and altering events toward a better outcome. It's a tremendous effort, much harder than just going along with the dream.
Why doesn't his girlfriend drop him? Who needs that crap in one's life?
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"Have you ever been able to turn a dream while dreaming? It involves becoming conscious that you are dreaming, and then deciding where things go next...."
Yes. Not always, but I've learned to identify certain, repeated situations or scenarios and act - somewhat - in control.
It's a lot of fun because I can get away with stuff I normally wouldn't do. :)
It takes practice.
I'll try 'looking' at my hands next time.
I guess this was inevitable: - ARM
You hijacking a thread not 15 posts in?
Yes.
When I am dreaming and the dream is in X town or near a landscape, I think somewhere in the back of my mind.."Oh. This place again". - DBQ
Yep. It's a trigger. I've got one, particular location that I 'work' with. And two recurring events.
I'm trying to expand my parameters. :)
often I can change or turn my dreams, because I can fly in dreams. Often, right before something bad is about to happen, I will fly away (by swimming in air). Unfortunately, the animals and people with me in the dream can't ever seem to fly, so sometimes I don't leave because of them.
I also have recurring dream locations that I "know" my way around etc. If I ever find one in waking life, that's gonna be a strange feeling.
DBQ,
"Often the dreams are more like watching a movie with plots and actors"
My wife's dreams are mostly like this. Mine are 99.9999% first-person. In fact, I had no idea the detached/third-person dream was even a thing until long after we were married.
And yes, I've LOLed at things I've said in dreams. Very annoying to wake up and have no idea how to recreate what was so funny.
SeanF,
" how do you know you're actually lucid dreaming and aren't just dreaming that you are? "
I do remember in my late teens deciding to confront a monster in my dreams, I decided to do it while awake, and when the dream came, I confronted it, and that was the last time I dreamed about it.
My eight year old son has begun sleepwalking which is the creepiest thing. The first time he did it was pretty memorable ~ he came into our bedroom (usually we lock the door but had forgotten that night), climbed up my husband's legs, crouched on his chest and started swinging his fists down onto husband's chest. My poor disoriented husband had no idea what was happening and threw him across the room. Son never even woke up; I put him back to bed and he didn't remember a thing the next day. We hastened to put alarms on all the exterior doors and a baby gate across the boy's bedroom door, although that is useless to contain him as he easily opens it in his sleep. It does give us a little heads-up though if he gets up while we're still awake.
I've been woken up when alone in the house (the big kids being at their dad's, husband traveling and baby fast asleep in her crib) by vigorous knocking on my bedroom door and by the head of my bed suddenly moving up or down (we have a motorized bed whose head and feet we can raise). As I'm fairly sure I don't believe in ghosts, I have to assume I am dreaming these things, but it's still spooky.
I used to have a recurring dream where some people would chase me through some underground caverns.
The last time, I decided to chase them instead. Haven’t had it again.
When I was young, I used to forestall post-Twilight Zone nightmares by going to sleep thinking of balloons, ice cream, the beach.
I used to have nightmares about something being in the house, in the shadows. I'd run around turning on lights, but they wouldn't shed any light, or they wouldn't light up at all, or they'd pop as soon as the switch was flicked. Once I realized that a lamp that doesn't shed light is a dream object, the dreams mostly stopped.
However now, whenever a light bulb goes out, I wonder "Am I dreaming?"
What I am able to do is say to myself "oh no this is a bad dream and I need to wake up" and then I do wake up. As a kid my brother was chased by dinosaurs in his dreams and learned to talk back to them and tell them they weren't real--that worked.
In college I had a room mate who would yell out in his sleep--he kept dreaming that we were being robbed (some sort of financial fear). First few times he scared the crap out of us.
I have misplaced my pants said...
"we have a motorized bed"
I was speed reading and I misread that as "we have a notarized bed" and that made me laugh.
I am a terrible speed reader.
Have you ever wondered about those nightmares in which you're either trying to run away but your legs are extremely heavy and slow, or you're trying to fight off your attacker but you can't throw a punch with any power? I think I know why we feel that way. It's evolution. Natural selection favors those who are basically paralyzed when they have nightmares, as uncontrolled thrashing about would carry a significant risk of a broken hand or other such injury, something that could be life threatening in our hunter-gatherer past. Nightmare's are much safer if you can't react violently to them.
I've occasionally had what youight call lucid dreams - where I could, for example, walk or otherwise travel between real, remembered places. I rember being conscious of dreaming but such awareness is elusive. I have dreamed I woke up, which shut off my internal alarm and made me sleep late. Mark Twain is said to have had difficulty sometimes distinguishing dream states from waking ones, especially when waking up. I can see where this could cause problems. I'm always wary of dreaming that I'm taking a piss, for example. So far, so good though.
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